Absolute confusion. From the first moment he opened his green eyes, that was the only way to describe how he felt; absolute confusion. The last thing he remembered, he had the dark one's dagger through his back. His older form had been restored and he could feel himself dying. In his final moments his pride had deteriorated more quickly than his youth. He faced his death, his greatest fear, and he had begged Rumple shamelessly. Not that it had helped, his son only twisted that dagger in deeper and darkness fell over them both.
Now he was facedown in what felt like dirt and pine needles. The horrible, wrenching pain of death still reverberated through him but eased off with each breath. With an effort, he rolled onto his back. He looked up into treetops; this was definitely a forest. Turning onto his side, he propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at himself. He was young again! He held one hand up and looked at the fair and unwrinkled skin he had possessed in Neverland. Sitting up, he looked down at the strange clothes he wore. They looked more like the clothes he saw in Storybrooke, although he rather liked the way they fit him.
Taking in the scene around him, he recognized the remains of a vehicle like the ones in the Evil Queen's cursed town. It had collided with a split tree, even now he could see smoke rising from the front of the machine. If he hazarded a guess, he figured he had been ejected through the window in the front and had sailed between the two tree trunks. How this body had survived without a scratch was beyond him. He checked himself over a few times as he stood, testing each limb. Nothing. The pain he'd awoken with was an unpleasant memory now.
"Peter? Oh, God please! No! Peter? PETER!" The voice was very familiar, it drew closer and grew in intensity. With a slide of gravel, a familiar tangle of messy blonde hair popped from around the tree.
"Felix?" He couldn't believe it. His second-in-command, the boy whose heart he had literally torn out of his chest and crushed into dust, stood before him. More than that, he looked relieved to see Peter, his eyes turning to tears as he saw the one he'd been looking for. Felix closed the distance between them and embraced Peter almost to the point of crushing him.
"Oh thank God! Peter! I was so worried. I can't believe you survived that! You have no idea how scary that looked! Man, I was sure you'd be a bloody mess. Please don't ever, ever, EVER scare me like that again! I don't know what I'd do without you, you prick!" Peter felt the tears fall onto his neck and he was stunned into silence. This reunion was beyond belief in more ways than he could count.
He finally found his voice as Felix dissolved into sobs. "Hey, Lost Boys don't cry." He found himself rubbing Felix's back to calm the boy down. He was still boggled that Felix was alive. He was sure that this wasn't part of the curse. That would be like having you cake and eating it too. "Steady on, now. Felix, what is going on?"
Felix pulled back to look into his eyes intensely. Peter fought an urge to wipe away the tears still running down his cheeks. "What is the last thing you remember?" He felt that dread, the fear and darkness claiming him whole. He shuddered involuntarily. He decided to be vague until he knew more.
"Just...feeling like I was dying. Everything else is fuzzy." Peter said carefully, putting his all into acting like he was telling the whole truth. Felix pulled him close again, holding Peter's head against his chest. His curiosity got the better of him. "This is going to sound silly, but didn't I rip your heart out? What are you doing here?"
Felix laughed. "It certainly felt like you ripped my heart out! You said...well we both said some horrible things to each other..."
"At the well?" Peter asked before he could stop himself.
Felix drew back again to look him in the eyes. "Are you starting to remember?"
Peter shook his head. "Last place I remember talking to you was at the well." He said truthfully.
"Yes, we'd gone out last night to try and talk through some things and ended up by the well. Then we fought and you said you were leaving Storybrooke. I didn't take you seriously. It wasn't until Granny said you'd left this morning that I realized how much you meant- mean to me."
The boy's gray eyes clouded over again. "Then I saw the skidmarks and your silly vanity plate and I...God...Peter! It was so awful!" For a third time, Peter was engulfed, albeit more softly this time around. Well, except for a certain hardness that dug into Peter's stomach.
A wave of confusion washed over him. "Felix?" His vocabulary seemed very limited, all of a sudden.
"Oh, sorry." Felix said as he stepped back. Peter looked down and immediately wished he hadn't. For his part, Felix didn't look too bashful, not that he had any reason to, by the look of things. Peter looked away and felt heat rising up his neck and into his face.
As he looked away, Felix snuck back in and whispered into his ear. "You look so cute right now." His lips brushed against his ear and the contact sent a jolt through Peter's body. He closed his eyes involuntarily and let out an embarrassing sigh.
He fought to regain control of the situation. "Ah-uh-um. I-uh I..." Peter caught hold of his babbling tongue and opened his eyes. Bad move. Felix was too close, his gray eyes burning into Peter's green. Peter flinched and looked down. "I never said I forgave you." He felt more than saw Felix take a step back and chanced a look at the lost boy's face. Felix look stricken, like he had when Peter had taken out his heart. At least he was quiet. Peter covered his eyes with one hand and continued. "Look, I won't leave town. Not that I have much choice. Just...let me wrap my head around all of this."
"I'm sorry, Peter. You're right. I need to get a grip. You really don't remember any of that stuff. I'm sorry for freaking you out." Peter really wanted to argue, but he wasn't confident he could pull off that lie with how he'd been reacting. Something was definitely wrong.
He looked back at Felix and wanted to melt away from the pain on the lost boy's face. Instantly, he hated himself. Worst of all, he didn't understand any of his feelings. He was Peter Pan, the man who had given up his own son for a chance at youfh and freedom. Yet here he stood, feeling bad for hurting the boy he had murdered coldly only last night. Where had these feelings come from?
"Felix, please, just give me some time." He hated how pathetic he sounded, but Felix stopped looking so hurt. Instead, he looked at Peter with cautious hope. Peter really couldn't say which one he hated more.
"My car is just up the ditch on the side of the road. I'll grab your suitcase, if it survived. Will you be okay to walk to the car?" Felix asked, eyes filled with concern. Unbelievable, Peter thought, the guy was like a kicked puppy. Then again, Peter felt like a monster for kicking said puppy, so it was hard to tell which of them was more pathetic. Numbly, he nodded his head and Felix turned towards the smoking ruins of the vehicle.
Alone with his thoughts, Peter walked around the wreckage. He took his time, feeling himself out physically and emotionally. For once, he was at a complete loss. Nothing felt right about this. Rather, it was too right. He was alive, when he knew Rumple had killed them both. Felix was alive and acted like nothing had happened. More that that, he acted like Peter was his boyfriend!
That thought wasn't as unwelcome as he'd expected. Everything Felix did and said would have been perfect if they were back in Neverland together. He'd suspected Felix's loyalty was something more, but what did a God like Peter (like he had been in Neverland) need with love? Then again, maybe that had been the problem. Now they were here, where magic was scarce at best.
Not to say that Felix was inconsequential, quite the opposite. Maybe if it were just the two of them alone before he decided to cast Regina's curse and sacrifice what he cherished most for total control. But now? Felix shouldn't want to be anywhere near him, let alone be concerned for his welfare.
With Felix's car in sight, he saw a glimmer on the side of the road. Not really thinking, he bent over and picked it up. It was a Maine license plate with the letters PTRPAN stamped onto it in big letters. As if he needed more proof, here it was plain. Everything was wrong because he did not belong here. Somehow, a villain like him had gotten a happily ever after.
In a fog, he managed to bend his wiry frame into the car on the road. He stared blankly at the license plate in his lap. He wasn't sure how long he sat like that, but he felt the trunk open and then slam shut. Shortly after, Felix finally slid into the driver's seat. He was just finishing a phone conversation as he did.
"Who was that?" Peter asked, familiar with the concept of cell phones thanks to Greg and Tamara.
"Sheriff Graham. Your suitcase is in the trunk. I found your wallet and cell phone, too. I'm afraid one made it out okay and the other didn't." He passed the items in question over and Peter inspected the remains of a small device and a scuffed leather wallet. "Sorry about your phone, I'll get you another one, I promise. I'll make sure it has your ringtone too."
"What did Sheriff Graham say?" He opened up his wallet and rummaged through as Felix spoke.
"He says we should go get you checked out at the hospital, just in case. He'll be here soon to document the scene and get that wreck towed." Felix smiled and the tone in his voice slipped from serious to dry sarcasm. "Now, I know you don't like hospitals, but I promise if you're good, I'll take you out for ice cream afterwards. Oh, and buckle up; you don't need to go through another windshield." Felix turned his trademark grin on him and Peter only just managed to not punch him in the face.
"Are you making fun of me?" Peter asked in genuine surprise as he struggled with the strange strap.
Felix laughed as he started the car. "Never."
Peter's wallet search yielded a few results. A few scraps of paper that he'd heard about called money, a book of matches from some place called The Rabbit Hole, and finally, a card. There was a small picture of his face on it as well as some writing.
His general description, and what he assumed was an address. His name..."Peter Malcolms?" He set the card on the license plate on his lap.
"Yeah, I'm not telling you my last name. Last time you made fun of me for a week." Peter's brain itched. The mischievous side of him suddenly was very interested in that tidbit of information.
"There's a birthday on this, too." Peter added.
"April First, I know. I guess it all was Regina's version of a joke. This spell she cast is just full of her sense of humor." Felix said with a smile.
"So you know about the curse?" Peter said without thinking. At the look Felix gave him he kicked himself mentally.
"Regina's spell? Yeah. The only people who call it a curse are those Nolans, though." Felix sighed. "I mean, I understand where their coming from, Regina's spell was cast on their realm without their consent, but it was for a good cause. It gave everyone their happily ever after."
"Is that why we were fighting?" Peter asked. He enjoyed watching Felix squirm, but felt bad at the same time.
"I wish I could forget it as easily as you did." Felix grumbled.
"Yeah, real easy. Just survive a crash without a scratch." Peter retorted, fighting the rising feeling of unease.
"Damn it, you know what I meant..." Felix growled.
"How am I supposed to know anything? I wake up in the woods and get mauled by the person I..." Peter cut himself short. He'd been close to telling Felix about killing him. His hands were shaking. What the hell was wrong with him?
"I was worried; I wasn't myself! I told you I was sorry for scaring you!" Felix sounded close to tears.
In spite of the rising tension between them and the extreme emotional state he was in, Peter continued. "Oh, spare me the tears, Lost Boy, I-"
Felix slammed on the brakes, narrowly avoiding crashing into the car stopped at the light ahead of us. "I was joking about crashing, you know. I really don't want to do that again." His emotions were close to destroying him, but he couldn't help needling Felix.
Felix's knuckles were white on the wheel. His voice came out half-choked. "Stop. I know you don't know what's going on, but can't you feel that? Please, Peter, just stop."
"What is this?" Peter asked, shaking against the pain in his chest.
Felix drew a shaky breath. "It's part of the spell."
Peter felt the impulse to touch Felix. Begrudgingly, he placed his hand on top of the one Felix had on the shifter. He felt a little better. "I thought you said it wasn't a curse."
"There are a few side benefits to this." Felix answered calmly. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, again. You've been through a lot in the last day."
You don't know the half of it, Peter thought to himself. "Am I supposed to say sorry too?" He tried not to sound like a petulant child, but wasn't very successful. The back of Felix's hand was not enough now, Peter unbuckled and scooted over to the middle of the bench seat in the front. Hesitantly, he trailed an arm around Felix's shoulders. Felix didn't seem to mind, even though they'd been fighting.
Both boys sighed with relief as the intense pain faded. "Not unless you mean it. Lying to each other can hurt even more than fighting." Felix said as he took his hand off of the shifter and cupped the right side of Peter's face. Peter flinched, and Felix's hand went back to the shifter. It was hard to say whether Felix moved back because of Peter's reaction or because the light had changed. Frankly, Peter wasn't sure if Felix touching him was a good thing or a bad thing.
"I'm..." Peter started.
"Don't say it if you don't mean it. I wasn't kidding about lying to each other." Felix warned him.
"Fine." He settled with resting his head on Felix's shoulder.
"Please say you remembered to buckle in again when you scooted over." Felix said as they slowed to a stop at another light.
"Ugh, I forgot. I don't want to let you go, not if those feelings come back." Peter nearly whined.
"Fine, I'll do it for you." Felix reached for the buckle on Peter's right side, pinning him up against the back of the seat. He lifted the strap just a hair's breadth away from and over Peter's lap. At Peter's stunned reaction, Felix smiled again, inches away from his face.
Fuck it. Peter thought and he pulled Felix in for a kiss. He crushed his lips against the lost boy's own and pushed his tongue out and along Felix's lower lip seeking entrance. Unfortunately, that's when the car behind them honked.
Felix untangled himself and nearly stalled the car before getting a hold of himself and driving on. His grin was ear to ear. Peter had on a grin of his own; the painful emotions were gone and replaced with bubbling happiness. It was hard for Peter to care that this emotion was all because of a spell.
They finally got to the hospital without further incident. Sheriff Graham had called ahead and Peter was taken in to examination fairly quickly. Dr. Whale himself undertook the exam.
Finally, Dr. Whale poked his head into the waiting room to get Felix. Felix sighed in relief at seeing Peter sitting up on the exam bed. The good doctor grabbed Felix's arm and whispered into his ear. Peter watched Felix's expression take on a bit of tension. When Whale released Felix, he calmly walked over and sat in the chair next to Peter.
"I think it is past due that I speak to you both." Dr. Whale began as he walked over to face the boys. "The Sheriff filled me in on most of the details and Peter filled in what he could. My immediate diagnosis is that you both are very stupid. Also, you both are very lucky to be alive."
"I think I can agree with at least half of that." The town psychologist, Dr. Hopper said wrily as he walked in. "Now that you two have heard the expert medical opinion, I'll fill you in on my take of recent events."
Felix stiffened. "What's the bug doing here?"
Undeterred, Hopper retorted. "Trying to help. Aside from Peter's apparent memory loss, many of your problems can be attributed to your near-constant bickering. Felix, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to hear what happened starting with last night."
Felix looked away. "We fought at the well..."
"What was the fight about?" Hopper asked. Felix sighed in frustration. The psychologist didn't relent. "i can only help you as much as you're willing to let me.
Felix glanced at Peter and Peter reached out to run his hand through Felix's hair. Slowly, Felix took hold of his hand and gently pulled it to cup his cheek. For a moment, Peter forgot where he was. He was enveloped in the strange, wonderful feeling he had just from Felix looking at him.
Dr. Whale cleared his throat and the moment passed. Peter pulled his hand away too quickly and felt his heart drop into his stomach from the wounded look Felix gave him. Felix turned to answer. "We were fighting about how much we've been fighting. I know, it sounds really dumb. Peter started talking about leaving Storybrooke together. He said if we were meant to be then we could do it without the spell and the supercharged emotions."
Dr. Hopper prodded gently. "Granny said Peter packed up this morning to leave. Were you going to give it a shot?"
"No, I didn't take Peter seriously. We both knew that leaving the town means losing our memories. I didn't want to take the chance that I would forget Peter and how much I love him. But when Granny told me he'd left, I panicked. It hurt so much thinking that Peter was willing to forget me, to leave me. I went after him, I decided that if I couldn't stop him, I'd cross the line and keep looking."
Dr. Whale interjected with a question. "How did you expect to know that you were looking for him? Once you crossed the line, you'd have lost your memories too."
"I wrote myself a letter, telling myself to look for him and tell him I love him." Felix answered, the words starting to catch in his throat. "Then I saw the skidmarks and Peter's license plate and...it was awful."
Felix turned away from Hopper and Whale. He folded his arms across his chest and bent over while sitting. His body shook with silent sobs.
Peter felt that damnable compulsion to comfort Felix again, but resisted. He dug his hands into the side of the bed, his knuckles turning whiten. His arms shook from the effort of thwarting the spell.
Dr. Hopper drew closer to Peter while Peter was distracted. "Why are you fighting this, Peter?"
"It's not me. It's this spell." Peter said shakily.
"The spell can't create these feelings, it only enhances them so you are more aware of your partner's feelings. He is your true love, and you're not only hurting yourself but him as well." Felix grabbed Hopper's wrist and put himself between the psychologist and Peter.
"Felix, I-" Hopper started.
"Just leave him alone. This is hard enough without your meddling, Cricket." Felix said, his voice taut with strain.
Felix didn't notice Dr. Whale until the older man pushed him backwards towards Peter. Unbalanced, Felix tried to turn and avoid landing on Peter and just barely managed it, landing next to him instead. Before he realized it, Peter had reached out to steady the lost boy and ended up with an arm wrapped around Felix's back and the other at his side. Felix grabbed his knees to avoid accidentally touching Peter, knowing that Peter would not welcome it no matter how good it felt.
"I'm sorry, Peter. He surprised me." Felix sounded near panic.
Peter fought his own emotions and answered. "It's not your fault, he snuck up and pushed you."
Dr. Whale was unapologetic. "Can't blame me if it worked. You two would've danced around each other all day. I have other patients, you know."
"I don't think it's wise to force them. From the sound of it they feel like they have no choice already." Peter nearly thanked him for finally getting it, but Hopper ruined it wifh his next observation. "They're right, from a certain point of view."
"Whatever, they need to get over it. " If Peter could shoot daggers from his eyes, Dr. Whale would be a pincushion. "You, Pan. Your memory loss has no physical cause. As close as I can tell, you survived your little flying session without a scratch. I wouldn't recommend doing it again; wear a seatbelt. Since it's not physical, it must be emotional, so work out your issues and your memories might return. Dr. Hopper is your best chance, no matter what your boyfriend thinks of him. Now I need to go attend my other patients, feel free to leave anytime." With that, Whale turned and left.
"I'm sorry about Whale, boys. Felix, I know you don't like me, but if Dr. Whale is correct, you'll need my help. You know where to find me. I'll leave the choice up to you." Dr. Hopper turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Peter realized he'd been absent-mindedly rubbing Felix's sides. He stopped and asked the question most burning to his mind. "What happened to my magic?"
Felix stiffened again, then sighed. "This land is almost completely devoid of magic. Aside from the spell that brought us here, no one has magic. Not even Regina and Mr. Gold."
"Rumple's here?" Peter asked, pulling Felix's shoulder so that he could see the lost boy's face. "He's alive?"
Felix's brow furrowed. "Yeah, why wouldn't he be?" Peter bit his lip to keep from talking. "Anyway, we were supposed to have dinner with Gold and Lacey tonight. At least, if you still want to."
"Definitely. I think my boy might have some answers for me." Peter was cut off from saying more by his own stomach growling.
Felix laughed. "I guess you haven't eaten today. It's nearly noon. Let's grab lunch and then we'll see what Graham has to say about the damages."
Granny's Diner was a nice enough place. The eponymous Granny had come around and hugged Peter and Felix both when they walked in. "I'm just glad you're okay, Peter. Lord knows I tried stopping you every way I could think of."
"He doesn't remember, Granny." Felix interjected and Peter shot him a death glare. "The accident, well." He faltered, catching the look Peter was giving him.
Granny sensed the tension rising and grabbed Peter's hand to diffuse it. "Well, I just want you to know that you're welcome to stay in the room you had before. I'll show it to you after you've eaten. Go, pick a place and Ruby will get your order."
The meal was certainly better than he'd expected. He hadn't been sure but with a little help from Felix he ended up with a satifying burger and fries. Soda was another new experience for him and he enjoyed the bubbly taste.
The small talk between them had been scant, but with their meal finished Peter tried starting a real conversation. "Where do you live?"
Felix smiled. "When I'm not working overnight at the boy's home, I split my time between your place and mine. Don't worry, I don't have a key to your place, so I'll stay out of your hair." The smile didn't reach his eyes, Peter noticed.
"I'm sorry, Felix." Peter was as surprised he actually meant it as Felix was to have heard it. "I know how you feel about me, but this all is a lot to take in..."
"You don't have to..." Felix started.
Peter cut him off. "I want to. I've been putting you through a lot. I KEEP putting you through a lot. It's not fair to you, you deserve better."
"Peter." Felix stopped him. "I might not deserve you, but I do need you. I love you. Haven't I made it clear yet?" Felix reached out to cup his cheek, but stopped halfway across the table.
"I hate having these feelings. This doesn't feel right." Peter blurted out. One look at Felix's eyes and he knew he'd screwed up again. "No, Felix, that's not what..."
"Maybe we should see Dr. Hopper." Felix looked like he'd swallowed something unpleasant. It was as if the words fouled in his mouth as he spoke them.
"Why don't you like Dr. Hopper?" Peter asked evenly.
"Long story short, he gave me advice once and it didn't work out." Felix stated simply.
Peter could feel the tension as it began to rise. Felix was getting angry again and Peter wasn't even sure why. He reached across the table and clasped Felix's hand. "Let's get through dinner tonight. I need to talk to Rumple and get things straight. We can make plans after that."
"Whatever your plans are, make sure they keep you in Storybrooke." A voice next to their table startled both boys. Peter jerked his hand away from Felix's.
"Is there a problem, officer?" The strong vein of sarcasm almost startled Peter again. This was more like the Felix he knew.
"Only the small matter of a rather large amount of blood at the scene of this morning's accident." Sheriff Graham answered. "And for someone who escaped without a scratch, well, we can rule out the cocky little rooster."
Peter was back in his element. "You find another body at the scene too? Anyone missing from town? No? Well then be a good dog and take yourself out before you have an accident right here."
"Now, dad, is that any way to talk to the sheriff?" Peter knew that voice. The same one that whispered in his ear while twisting the dagger deeper into his back. For a second, his anger burned brightly and he charged at his son. Unfortunately, he had to go past Graham, who caught his expression and decided to err on the side of caution. Graham pulled Peter into a full-nelson, stopping him in his tracks.
"The hell has gotten into you, Malcolms?" Graham said as Peter struggled.
"Get the hell off of me, let me talk to my son!" Peter yelled angrily.
"Peter calm down! Graham ease up before you break his arms off. Gold, maybe you'd better..." Felix was suddenly there, his hand planted in the middle of Peter's chest. The contact sent waves of calm through his body.
"No! Please! I need to talk to him! I'll be calm." Peter said desperately. With a nod from Felix and Gold, Graham released Peter.
"This is your way of showing me you've changed? Trying to attack me the moment I step into the diner? I don't think having you over is such a great idea." Gold turned to leave.
"Rumple, please..." Peter started.
"It's Gold, now. Mr. Gold, in fact." Gold said angrily, wheeling around to stare down his father.
"Sorry, Mr. Gold, please..." Peter started again.
"Wait. What did you just say?" Gold asked, eyes scrunched in confusion.
"Please?" Peter asked, confused.
"No, before that." Gold answered.
"Mr. Gold?" Peter tried.
"No, before that." Gold replied.
Peter cocked an eyebrow. "Really? You're going to make me say it again?"
"Well I have to be sure I heard you right." Gold said, his face lighting up with glee.
"Fine. Sorry. I'm sorry, Rum...Mr. Gold. I lost hold of my temper." Peter flushed with embarrassment and looked around at all the eyes staring at him. "Can we please continue this somewhere more private?"
"You've perked my interest, I'll indulge you this once. This better be worth my time. Lead the way, I believe you have a room at the inn?" Gold tapped his cane impatiently.
"Right this way, Peter. Mr. Gold." Felix answered, covering for Peter's lack of knowledge about his own room.
Felix led them to the room. Once inside, Peter looked around, there wasn't much in the way of personalization. Not even a picture of himself or Felix. "I'll be outside, then." Felix said as he headed to the door.
Peter felt momentarily bereft. "Felix..." The lost boy turned around. Peter crossed to him and reached out for Felix's face. As his fingers touched Felix's cheek, he felt better. "Thank you. For understanding. And, well, everything really. I..."
Felix reached up to return the gesture, but Peter flinched again. "No, wait, I didn't mean..." Felix started to turn away, but Peter grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. The move startled both of them, and Gold. Gold coughed politely, and Felix cut off the kiss again before they could do more than press lips together.
"I'll be just outside. Just, be good." Felix said, smiling. He closed the door behind him.
"Well, aren't you just full of surprises? First you threaten the good Sheriff, even though you have no magic. Then you try and bull-rush me, again without magic." Gold couldn't seem to stand still, instead he seemed intent on circling him like a shark. "Then you blubber out apologies for what has to be the first time in your life. Well, at least the first time you ever seemed like you meant it. Now I see an actual caring side of you."
"Believe me, I feel just as confused. Last thing I remember before waking up in that forest this morning is you plunging that dagger through us both." Peter said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I heard about your little accident. You're lucky to be alive. But I'm afraid it scrambled your brain a bit." Gold said gleefully. Peter fought the urge to punch the imp in his smug face. "If I did what you claim, we'd both be dead. Sure you didn't dream it?"
"I'm positive. Everything I remember is wrong here." Peter paced, one hand in his hair. "Regina cast a curse to create Storybrooke to take away everyone's happily ever afters. The curse was broken by the child of the Charmings and magic was brought to this land. A boy, the grandchild of the Charmings and the Dark One, was taken to Neverland, my realm. He has the heart of a true believer. I needed him to...renew the bond between Neverland and myself."
Mr. Gold looked absolutely perplexed. "None of that happened..."
"I'm starting to realize that." Peter stopped pacing and faced his son. "None of that happened here. But it did happen to me. What does that mean?"
"Haven't the foggiest." Gold said nonchalantly. He headed for the door. "I came by to retract the invitation to dinner tonight."
Peter got between his son and the door. "Rum...Mr. Gold, please. I need your help. I did terrible things in that world and now I'm emotionally tied to someone I...hurt very badly."
Gold swung around. "What did you do to Felix?"
"It didn't happen here." Peter said defensively. "It was part of a curse of my own. One that would give me power over those that had kept me from renewing the bond. And keep me young."
"Death, it was always your biggest fear. Well, that and commitment, responsibility, etc." Mr. Gold taunted. "You still haven't answered my question."
"This land has no magic. I will grow old here. As long as the magic stays away, the temptation to repeat that history is gone. If magic were to return..." Peter cut himself short.
"Why tell me this?" Gold asked.
"In that world, you brought back magic so you could use your power as The Dark One to find Baelfire." He explained.
Mr. Gold smirked. "Ah, well. You needn't worry about that. Neal, as he is known here, has already been returned here. He and his wife broke the time stop part of the spell, so you will age. You will know death again."
"Beyond my control. Magic is gone, I can't get back to Neverland and even if I did, I would die eventually, all alone. I've died once, and there are some improvements I'd like to make before the next one. If it's not too late for me, that is." Peter held out his hand.
"I'm not going to try to be your father. That ship has sailed, not to mention how weird it would be given our physical ages. But, can we at least be friends?" Gold looked down at Peter's hand.
"You never answered my question." Peter looked confused. "Oh come now. Tell us what you did to Felix."
Peter groaned in frustration. "It didn't happen here."
"You've said that." Gold's face grew serious. "But you did something to Felix in that other world of yours. Whether or not it was real, it is real to you. Shaped your personality, it did. So I'd say it was fairly important to know before letting you waltz back into my life."
Peter was near tears. "I can't..."
"Well, that's disappointing. I hope you take on well with Dr. Hopper. I'm sure Felix is just jumping with excitement to talk to him again." Gold placed a hand on his shoulder to move him aside.
Peter stood firm, tears flowing freely. "Wait. Fine. For whatever good it does you, I'll say it. I killed him. The curse required a sacrifice and I sacrificed Felix for vengeance."
There was a sound behind him and Peter turned to see the look of horror on Felix's face before the lost boy ran away. He turned back to Mr. Gold. "Well, you better go after him. Make sure to bring him to dinner. I'm sure Henry would love to see you both."
"Felix? Felix! Felix." Peter felt his emotions pulling him in so many directions it was a wonder that he was still in one place. He'd looked all over Storybrooke. Night was falling on the town and the chill of the evening was starting to get the better of him.
"God, are you two fighting agajn?" Peter turned around to look at Regina Mills. "This is supposed to be a happily ever after. Yet you two can't seem to get that through your thick heads. Honestly, you guys are worse than the Nolans."
"Regjna, I don't have time for your nagging. So unless you can release Felix and I from this little emotional torture spell of yours, then go to hell." Peter turned around and started stalking off.
"I can't undo the spell, but I could help you find your Lost Boy." Regina said mildly.
Peter turned around and folded his arms. "Right, because you're just so helpful like that. Why would the Evil Queen cast a spell to make everyone happy? What do you care?"
Regina sniffed disdainfully. "You'll find most folk prefer to go by their Storybrooke names. Ms. Mills would be sufficient."
"You didn't answer my question." Peter said simply. "What do you care?"
"I care because it's what I wanted most for everyone. The conflict between myself and the Charmings hurt so many people in so many realms. So I drew all those people from across all those realms together to share a brighter future."
"I'm sure the Charmings love that. Do you still call yourself Mayor here?" Peter asked mockingly.
Regina smiled. "No, actually, Mayor Nolan and his wife are well beloved by the town. They've improved here, back in our world their kingdom was falling apart around them."
"What do you do then?" Peter asked.
"I help stubborn people like you find your happily ever after." Peter only barely managed to not laugh in her face. "Speaking of which, shall I help you find him or not?"
"I've looked all over town. He must be avoiding me." Peter rubbed his arms to stave off the cold.
"I suppose you haven't tried following the feeling?" Regjna asked obliquely.
"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Peter said as he glared at her.
"Clear your mind of everything else and concentrate on just Felix. Close your eyes if it helps." Peter gave her a doubtful look. Regjna rolled her eyes. "No magic, remember, just the spell that set this all in place." In spite of his better judgement, he closed his eyes.
"Right now your emotions are overshadowing the emotional boost you get from him. Clearing your head will help you concentrate on him and you'll be able to follow that feeling directly to the source." It took a few moments for him to get over the cold wind nipping at his face.
Finally he felt just one emotion, a sort of disembodied sadness, washed over him. "I feel him." Peter opened his eyes and looked over at Regina. "I suppose I should thank you."
"It's what I do, at least, what I do now. Go to him." Regina urged. He didn't need to be told twice. Peter ran, partly to get there quicker and partly to stay warm.
He found Felix near the well. Unlike Peter, Felix had a jacket AND a blanket. "You...complete...ass." Peter panted. It had been a longer run than he'd expected. Felix stared at him while he caught his breath.
Felix sighed. "Are we going to fight again?"
"Only if you don't share that blanket, I'm freezing." Felix grinned and held the blanket open invitingly. Peter all but dove into the cover and clung to Felix, shivering. For a moment, both boys were near delirious with bliss.
When the glow from their first contact in hours faded, Peter tried finding the right words. "Felix, I know it must have sounded awful."
"It was awful." Felix corrected. Peter cringed.
"But all the reasons I did that are gone now. There's no magic. No one here has wronged me, no matter how much they look like the people I knew. And I'm not afraid to die, especially if I had you with me." Peter kissed the side of Felix's neck.
"Can you ever forgive me?" Peter asked, leaning his head on Felix's chest. He could hear Felix's heartbeat and feel it against his ear.
"For killing me in some alternate reality? Yeah, I got over that after I got to the well." Felix kissed the top of Peter's head.
Peter pulled back and glared at the last boy. "Then what the hell have I been doing looking for you all this time?"
"What I wasn't over was you going to your estranged son to ask those questions. I could have handled that; you should have trusted me." Felix cupped the side of Peter's face with one hand.
Peter reached up to touch the hand on his cheek. "You're right. I should have, I know that now. But I was so confused. And then I realized...and I had to make sure I couldn't hurt you like that again. I'm sorry. Please forgive me?"
"Wait, you said you realized something. What was it?" Felix placed his other hand on Peter's other cheek. Peter looked down, he looked on the verge of tears. He was shaking again, but it wasn't from the cold. "Please, Peter, tell me."
Peter closed his eyes and let the tears flow. His voice was tight as he answered. "I realized, I love you. That's why I wanted to make sure I couldn't take your heart again."
Felix kissed his closed eyelids softly. "Oh, but Peter, you have taken my heart again."
Peter's eyes snapped open. "That was seriously the sappiest, most melodramatic bullshit I've heard all day."
Felix glared. "Way to kill it. Shut up and kiss me, you idiot."
Peter brought his own hands up to cup Felix's face and pulled him in. He bit into Felix's lower lip softly, dragging his mouth open and plunged his tongue inside. He felt warm all over, and his body tingled as they both came up for air. "Why are we at the well?" Peter asked.
Felix looked at him strangely for a second and then smiled. "I see what you mean. Your place or mine?"
"Whichever is closer." Peter said, trailing kisses along his jaw and down his neck.
Felix moaned softly and tried to think. "Um, yours I think."
"Let's go, just keep me under the blanket."