Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did... well, lets say things vould be very different. In a bad way. All the werewolves would be permenantly sugar high, and Renesmee would be a punk.
A/N: A little plot bunny that burrowed into my brain at 10 pm, demanding to be written. I couldn't refuse. Before you read: Hair is a natural part of the body, eg. it grows. So, if vampires are frozen in their present statee when bitten, their hair must be frozen too. So, vampires have the same hairstyle for all eternity. So what happens when it gets cut off...
Bald For All Eternity
Edward was in a bad mood. He'd just had an argument with Jacob, over letting Renesmee go on a camping trip with him. Jacob claimed that Bella had already agreed to this – which Edward highly doubted – and the row had ended with Jacob morphing and running off, whilst Edward was left standing in the middle of a downpour, feeling extremely stupid.
He marched into the Cullen house, with the scowl of the centaury plastered on his face. Most of the Cullens had the sense to stay away. An angry vampire was bad news.
However, Alice never did have much sense. Especially when clothes were involved.
"Hey Edward!" trilled Alice, spinning into the room. Guess what I bought today!"
"I honestly couldn't give a da-" he was cut of by Rosalie dancing into the room.
"What do you think of this dress?" she purred, twirling before him as the silky skirts of her red dress billowed outwards.
"It's hideous," grunted Edward. "Alice, I don't care what you bought. It's probably just the same rubbish as usual. And Rose, you have far too many dresses, and you're a self centred bit-"
"Edward!" gasped a horrified Esme. "Do not speak to your sisters like that!"
With a growl, Edward jumped around and ran as fast as he could to the cottage he and Bella shared. He threw himself down on the bed, wishing Bella was there. She would be able to calm him down. But she was off on a 'girls night out' with Angela and a bunch of other school friends.
As his anger wore off, he began to feel a bit guilty about shouting at Alice and Rosalie. It wasn't their fault that Jacob was an evil ((censored)), after all.
Deciding he'd apologise to them in the morning, he slipped into a meditative state. It was the closest vampires could get to sleep. In this state, his brain would simply power down, leaving him unaware of his surroundings, almost like a waking dream.
An hour later, Alice and Rosalie crept into the room, armed with a pair of scissors. Never annoy a blonde and her friend.
Edward 'woke up' from him meditation, feeling slightly odd. He couldn't exactly pinpoint the feeling, just a vague… oddness. Ignoring it, he got up and went into the bathroom. Only when he caught sight of himself in the bathroom mirror did he realise what had happened.
"I am going to KILL THEM!" he roared, marching towards Cullen Manor. He could hear Rosalie and Alice's giggles even from this distance. Running a hand over his shaven head, he wondered what Bella was going to say.
After all, I am now bald for all eternity. Not a desirable thing.