Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from House...trust me, if I did all House/Cameron fans would be a hell of a lot happier. Or, You Don't Know Me by Ben Folds Feat. Regina Spektor
IMPORTANT FOR COMPREHENSION: Okay, so I hope this works. Stylistically, I mean. Here's the dealio, everything in italics is song lyrics. and I mean everything. It will be integrated throughout the story. If it's not in quotes it's Cameron's thoughts.
PLEASE review and tell me what you think and if I should write like this again.
This is just me testing the waters and being inspired by music. Aren't I always, aren't we all? :)
Recommended listening: You Don't Know Me by Ben Folds feat. Regina Spektor (hopefully if you read at my speed, the lyrics will match)
We sit across from each other at the dinner table. It's still awkward-not that we just got together.
It's been a while, maybe a year and a half? Longer? He's the one who keeps track. Not me. He keeps track of the relationship logistics.
I just keep track of everyone's charts.
"I wanna ask you" I prompt
"What are you thinking?" I not that I'm all that curious. Do you ever sit and wonder,
It's so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care "Eh, nothing. Tough day."
"Me too..." What goes on in the other one's head?
And then my mind travels elsewhere
Him.
Things I've felt but I've never said
I love him
You said things that I never said
You love me
So I'll say something that I should have said long ago:
I stand up, place my hands on the wooden table. I open my mouth to scream:
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)
"I'll go get some water" I scramble to find the meaningless words
I even scramble to find my balance.
"Mkay babe" he answers without moving his head or disheveling his perfect hair.
You could have just propped me up on the table like a mannequin
I don't even like him, let alone love him.
But I'll keep making the dinner, and sharing my bed.
Or a cardboard stand-up and paint me (paint me)
Any face that you wanted me
To be seen.
We're
I'll smile too.
I'll be happy. I know I can be happy
Damned by the existential moment where
We saw the couple in the coma and
It was we were the cliché,
When I come back with two handfuls of ice water, he comes back with a handful of daisies.
"They're beautiful! Thank you so much." I gasp, choked by my own voice.
"I love you"
I smile
But we carried on anyway.
I hate daisies
So, sure, I could just close my eyes.
I pretend that they're roses.
I pretend that they're from House. That's easy to do
Yeah, sure, trace and memorize,
But can you go back once you know
This time I really am going to say it.
Deep breath-ready?
One...
Two...
Three....
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)
"Robert!" I can't stop my tone from raising.
"Yeah, Allison?"
I'm an only child now, my brother died.
I really did read a book to figure out how to get people to do what I want.
I had a weight issue when I was a child.
I trust people I shouldn't.
I always try and make sure no one gets hurt.
I don't believe in god.
I am damaged.
And I love damaged people"
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me
"If I'm the person that you think I am" Chase begins slowly, "Then I'm not this person. This clueless chump you seem to think I am"
"No, Chase, I don't-"
He rambles words I don't even bother to hear.
So easily led astray, (That's me.)
An errant dog who occasionally escapes and needs a shorter leash, then
I clench harder and harder. Gradually boiling over with 150 degree blood. That lifeline of red liquid is about 20 seconds away from spurting out of my flexed jazz hands.
"Why the fuck would you want me back?" I screech, tears streaming down my cheeks.
He stalks over, and brushes them off with a thick thumb, thinking he's the one I'm crying about.
Maybe it's because
"(You don't know me at all)" I whisper to his heart, boldly staring at it through his button down shirt. Slowly, my eyebrows knit and I dare to look him in the eye for the first time tonight. I nod a goodbye to him, grab my keys and scurry fervently out of the all too crowded apartment.
My own words ring in my ears, pulse against my eyes, and dance on my brain.
(You don't know me,
you don't know me.)
I kick his door with my toes repetitively until he ultimately decides whether it's worth it to answer.
It is.
"Blonde Version of Cameron, what are you doing over here at this hour of night? Isn't it past your bedtime?" Even when he mocks me, it's beautiful.
"It's 8 o'clock" I push.
"I miss being on your team. I miss working with you. I miss....you."
"Well, duh." he rolls his eyes and thumps his palm on the side of his head."
I give him a challenging look, and he looks as if he's almost about to retreat. Almost
I begin with caution"So, what I'm trying to say is, what..."
"(What?)"
"I'm trying to tell you" I restart and reprogram...though the malfunction carries on, "It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it cause I know you'll only change it."
"(Say it.)"
You sigh.
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
"Obviously you know that I spent five years telling myself that you didn't know me. That you don't know me at all (at all). But once again...you were right, and I was wrong. I was everything you said I was. I'm everything you say I am."
(You don't know me
You don't know me at all
(You don't know me)
You don't know me at all (at all)
My own words still haunt me. Words that weren't even meant for him.
"What?" I blurt after a century or so of silence.
He still says nothing with his raw and gruff words. Though his smirk is worth a thousand words. He hobbles backwards and motions for me to enter his apartment.
I stare into his abyss of blue and smile, abiding by his humbling request.
I settle into his overstuffed arm chair, making myself more comfortable than I had the right to be.
"The thing is, Cameron, I already know practically everything about you." he marvels at his accomplishment, gloating fully, "You don't know me"
I smile a full toothed smile, and drum my fingers on the arm,
"Not yet."
