Step by Step

Focus: Chibiusa/Hotaru
Timeline: Manga. Canon-compliant up until the bit when Chibiusa leaves forever.
Summary: Love has always defined Chibiusa and Hotaru's relationship. It's the definition itself that changes over time.

.01

"I… guess because I really like you."

It was their third such outing, this one to a brand new planetarium that had just opened up in Tokyo. After a painstakingly frugal couple of weeks (plus promising to give up a month's worth of desserts for the meager contents of Usagi's piggy bank), Chibiusa had finally saved up enough of her allowance to invite Hotaru along. Although the older girl was as hesitant as always, a little pout and promise to get home before it got too dark eventually won her over. When she saw the edge of her mouth tick up just the slightest, Chibiusa happily noted it was getting easier to persuade her new friend.

However, she still had something of a downer streak to her. While Hotaru was by no means a talkative person, leave her to her thoughts too long and she would clam up the rest of the day. Although the planets and constellations had been gorgeously rendered, Chibiusa realized too late that exposing Hotaru to a show that marvelled at the Infinite Abyss of Space probably wasn't the greatest idea. Sitting now in the designated dining area, the girl across from her kept staring off into the distance and barely touched her sundae. Chibiusa was watching it melt, silently berating herself for choosing such a stupid venue, when Hotaru finally spoke up:

"Why are you doing this?"

Which prompted Chibiusa's above response.

"I guess," she repeated, a weak laugh at the end. The pink-headed princess of the 30th century wasn't the most reserved of individuals, but she was still getting used to having friends; expressing herself in an honest manner didn't come easy to her.

Hotaru turned to look at her for the first time since the show ended. Her gaze unnerved Chibiusa. Those dark pools could threaten to completely overwhelm you, and Chibiusa herself had gotten lost in them from time to time. It was a strange feeling, one that wasn't all that unwelcome. If she dove deep enough, maybe she could reach the girl who wound sadness so tightly around her heart.

But every so often, those eyes would soften of their own accord and the light behind them gave rise to a whole new emotion altogether. Chibiusa's breath caught when Hotaru smiled in that sad, soft way she always did. "Is that so." It wasn't a question, and Hotaru broke the gaze to at last pick up her spoon and take a bite of her sundae.

Chibiusa smiled to herself. There was still so much she didn't know about Hotaru, but there would be time enough for that. For now, she tucked that smile away in her heart and finished off her snack.

.02

"Chibiusa-chan~!"

"Coming~!"

Hotaru grinned. They were going to meet up with a bunch of friends from school for the Tanabata festival and though this certainly wasn't her first time going, it was her first time with Chibiusa. She'd been up all last night, too excited to sleep—a detail Haruka teased her about over breakfast. Hotaru didn't care though; in her bid to make up for lost time, she'd been nearly inseparable from her best friend and she wasn't shy about it.

"Sorry." Chibiusa turned back to remind Usagi that she was going off ahead and made her way over to where Hotaru was, steps restricted by the length of her yukata. "Were you waiting long?"

"Nope," Hotaru proclaimed, catching Chibiusa's hand in her own. "And even if, I would've waited until the end of time just for a single glimpse of your stunning figure."

Chibiusa eyed her suspiciously. "Hotaru-chan, you're picking up some weird habits from Haruka-san."

"You think?" She gave her a once-over, taking in the way the yukata's floral patterns hung off her body. Her pink locks, pinned to sit loosely around her shoulders, were fastened by a white rose. "You really do look amazing though. If I didn't know you, I probably would've fallen for you at first sight."

"There you go again..."

"It's the truth though! After all, I love you so much already!"

Sticking up her nose, Chibiusa hummed and looked at her from the corner of her eye. "Well, if I didn't know you, I don't think I would've fallen for you at all. I can't believe you didn't dress up for Tanabata!"

Guilty as charged. Despite Michiru's insistence, Hotaru had opted to wear her school uniform to the festival; it made for a terrible contrast, standing beside Chibiusa like this. "Well, you see... Umm, it was kinda hard to run in that?"

"You're not supposed to run in this thing!"

Hotaru huffed. Then, not even a second later, the grin returned and she switched to latching onto Chibiusa's arm. "Hey, if I dress up next time, will I win your heart over?"

"Depends. Will you be cute?"

"So cute your teeth will rot right off." Totally serious.

A laugh and the sound was like music to her ears. "Guess I don't have a choice then."

Because they had left early, the shrine grounds were still relatively empty. The early evening sky, tinged with just the slightest shade of red, prevented the lanterns from broadcasting their unearthly yellow glow. It would've made for an incredible sight, Chibiusa framed by the light of the lanterns, glowing like the moon herself, but contrary to her earlier claim Hotaru didn't think she would've been able to wait much longer.

Six months—that was all it was. Six months and a lifetime ago. She'd seen the little pink princess in her parents' albums countless times during then, but she never quite understood her significance, never felt any particular draw to the girl who had changed her life forever. Perhaps it was guilt that kept her by Chibiusa's side now, her overcompensating for something beyond her control. Maybe, in rediscovering this missing part of her, Hotaru was loathe to let it slip away again.

"Hotaru-chan?" The voice pulled her out of her thoughts. The face she had begun to treasure so much was distorted by a worried frown. "Are you okay?"

Hotaru glanced down at the slip of paper in her hand, a marker in the other. They had decided to take the opportunity to hang up their wishes before the crowd started coming in but where Hotaru could make out a few scribbles on Chibiusa's tanzaku, her own was still blank. "Aaah, sorry, I got a little distracted." She tried a laugh to alleviate the tension, but Chibiusa remained unconvinced.

"I'm right here, you know."

Why was it like she always knew just what to say? Like she could see right through her? Tossing everything to the ground, Hotaru turned to clasp Chibiusa's hand in both of hers. She held her gaze with all the feeling she could muster. "I know."

Chibiusa seemed a little caught off-guard by this response and averted her eyes downward. "Aren't you going to make a wish?"

"Nope, I've got everything I could ever want right here!" she insisted, giving her hand a firm squeeze.

"Not this again..."

.03

"And you'll never believe what happens next."

"Stop, stop, stop!" Chibiusa flew across the table, desperately trying to block Hotaru's voice with her hands. She earned some quizzical looks from the neighbouring tables, but she paid them no mind—this was way more important. "I told you, no spoilers! For goodness' sake, Hotaru-chan, the book came out yesterday."

Hotaru pulled back, an amused grin on her face. Honestly, Chibiusa felt that no matter how many years flew by, she would never get used to her best friend's total 180°. It was still Hotaru, no doubt, but she had perhaps imprinted too strongly on Haruka and Michiru (Setsuna was free from blame on virtue of being Pluto). If she hadn't had a front row seat, she wouldn't have believed that that brooding, quiet girl she met some six years ago and this brash, blunt one before her were one and the same.

On the bright side, Hotaru had at least grown out of her "fight everyone" phase. That was exhausting.

"Oh, Chibiusa-chan, it's only 450 pages long. Surely at a ninth grade reading level..."

"I don't want to hear this from someone at a grad student reading level." It was to be expected, really, that someone who was essentially repeating grades would do well academically, but even after they hit middle school the gap never seemed to close. Worse, Hotaru picked up a habit of teasing her about it.

"That's cute, are you pouting?"

Chibiusa stuck out her tongue. "You wish. Now finish off that cake already, the movie starts in half an hour and I want good seats." She reached for her coffee and took a sip, her face immediately turning at the bitterness; this would be yet another thing that would take some time getting used to. At the edge of her vision, she saw Hotaru stifle a laugh. "What," she pre-empted, her voice flat.

Hotaru shook her head, leaning forward to prop herself on one hand. "Nothing, I just love you."

Several thousand such proclamations had been made in the past, always thrown about casually in their daily lives, and this declaration was no different from the rest. Still, something made Chibiusa take pause and catch Hotaru's eyes. She'd realized pretty early on that they didn't quite draw her in the way they once used to, no longer tried to drown her very breath away. She'd made her peace with that though. Instead, Chibiusa learned to find comfort in eyes that sparkled every time they turned to her, in a heart that rose up to protect her with all it had. The light reached out unabashedly now and Chibiusa let it wash over her, allowed herself to sink in its warm embrace.

She may have been given a shiny new coat of paint, but that gentle girl she had fallen in love with all those years ago was still in there.

"Yeah, me too."

Nothing changed in her expression; that goofy grin was the same as ever. "I know."

"A little full of yourself, aren't you?"

"With you by my side, how could I not be?"

With a roll of her eyes, she split what was left of the cake with a fork and Hotaru eagerly accepted the half offered to her. Chibiusa smiled and finished the rest before standing up. She reached for Hotaru's hand the way she always did. "Come on, I won't forgive you if we miss the previews."

.04

When they parted, Hotaru tasted tears. Were they Chibiusa's or her own? She had no way of knowing; in the dark, she could only make out the other girl's silhouette. Chibiusa had insisted though, and no matter how much she yearned to lose herself in those eyes, to etch her features in this moment forever, she couldn't go against Chibiusa's wishes.

So she lost herself in her touch instead.

Hotaru took a sharp breath as she felt Chibiusa move down her neck. She wasn't normally this sensitive, but where the darkness hampered her sight it amplified all other senses. Each kiss lit a fire in her body, fanned a desire to draw the other girl into her completely. She was acutely aware of the hand that danced near her hip bone, but even that was swept to the side when a wave of pain and pleasure overcame her. Hotaru couldn't help the sound that left her lips. Chibiusa paused, giving her a moment's clarity. Why was it so hot that Chibiusa found her voice such a turn-on? Fighting the blush that threatened to incapacitate her, Hotaru propped herself up on her free arm to try to gain some leverage. She wanted to mark her, give her one more wonderful memory, something to truly remember her by, and that wouldn't work if she didn't take the lead.

Chibiusa wouldn't have any of it though. With one quick motion, she was pinned back into the sheets again and lips met lips with renewed vigor. It was a desperate kiss, different from the tender ones they usually shared—different even from the ones when they hungered for one another. It almost hurt. Chibiusa frantically dove deeper and deeper, almost as if she was trying to find an answer to some unknown question. As the grip on her wrist tightened, Hotaru willed herself to relax. If this was what Chibiusa needed, the least she could do was give it to her. If she somehow found a way to merge their souls together, it could even be for the best.

She felt a tremor at her wrist.

"Chi— biusa-chan?" she managed to gasp out and the girl straddling her seemed to freeze. She could hear her laboured breathing, much more even than Hotaru's quick short ones, and the tremor was growing more pronounced. "Do you want me to—"

"No," came the reply and Hotaru's heart broke hearing the tears caught within it. Her arms were freed and Hotaru felt the weight shift towards the center of her body. "I don't want you to see me like this. I'm sorry, Hotaru-chan, I'm so sorry." Her voice was smaller and further away now.

"Chibiusa-chan..."

How strong she always seemed. Back when she used to drift off into loneliness, Chibiusa was always there to pull her back, remind her there was still someone who cared enough to stay. Even after she'd been given a second chance, Hotaru could only marvel as the little girl she had fallen in love with grew into her destined role. Instead of concentrating on her shortcomings, Chibiusa learned to take pride in her accomplishments and so started to carry herself with an air of self-assurance, drawing others in like moths to a flame. Everyone turned to her with their problems and looked to her for guidance. Hotaru, by no means immune, had gotten used to relying heavily on this pillar of support as well, and now it was crumbling before her.

She reached out into the darkness and this time Chibiusa allowed herself to fall into her arms, sobbing openly now. Not knowing what else to do, Hotaru pulled her in tighter. Neither Chibiusa nor Setsuna talked very much about how time travel would affect the timeline, and Hotaru didn't care to think about it. It was a given that Chibiusa would have no choice but to return to the 30th century once Usagi came to term; the only thing that mattered was that they enjoyed themselves to the fullest so they could part with no regrets. That was the unspoken agreement between them, and yet...

"If anyone needs to apologize, it's me. If I hadn't fallen in love with you, this might've been easier."

Chibiusa shifted to look at her; by now Hotaru's eyes had adjusted enough for her to look back. The sadness reflected in those orbs compelled her to add something to her admission, but Chibiusa caught the words in her mouth. This time, the kiss was soft, slow, and familiar. She let the warmth seep into her, fill every corner of her body. Hotaru was still aching for more when Chibiusa broke away and pressed their foreheads together.

"Don't say that. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She couldn't help herself. "Even better than awakening as a Senshi?"

Chibiusa smiled, pretending to think for a moment. "Second best then." She drew closer to Hotaru and rested her head in the crook of her neck. Her tears were warm on her skin. "Besides, I fell in love with you first. I've always loved you. ...I always will." The words were barely a whisper.

Hotaru looked past her into nothingness. "Me too."

"Can we stay like this tonight?"

"Yeah, for as long as you want." She closed her eyes and gave her a little squeeze. "I'll be right here."

.05

"You look beautiful, Small Lady, as stunning as your royal mother."

The young woman in question flushed. "Geez, Pluto, I could be a wrinkly old grandma and you'd still be calling me small." She looked in the mirror; apart from the pink hair, she really did seem the splitting image of Serenity. It unnerved her a bit, knowing that she would soon have to step into such large shoes. She reached for the Guardian of Time and Space, her oldest and dearest friend. "I'm glad you could make it."

"How could I miss such a special day?" Pluto gave her hand a little squeeze. "Are you ready?"

The Crown Princess and heir to the Silver Millennium took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be."

The moment she stepped onto the balcony, a chorus of voices rose to welcome her. Once upon a time, there may have been whispers—even jeers whenever she passed, but over the years she had worked hard to prove herself a capable leader. Deeming her finally worthy of her royal title, they accepted her now with open arms and the validation was more euphoric than she could've ever imagined.

The Princess met the eyes of each of her mother's Senshi, of her father who stood among them, and stepped forward. Her heels occasionally caught on the carpet as she made her way down but she strode on with practiced grace. Serenity stood waiting for her at the end, sceptre in hand, looking as majestic as ever, and Ceres and the others assumed positions on either side. Looking at the Quartet now, you would have never guessed that just last week they had snuck her out of the palace for a night on the town. ...Well, you might from observing Pallas, who ventured a little wave, but Vesta caught the hand and glared daggers at her older sister.

When she finally reached her place by her mother's side, Serenity commenced with the ceremony. The sky was a brilliant blue and a cool summer wind helped to lessen the sun's rays. She took a deep breath as Serenity announced that she would be stepping down effective immediately. It was all a formality; her daughter had long since come into her own. Ceres came forward, carrying on a cushion the tiara that had until yesterday graced Her Grace's own head. She knelt a princess and rose a queen. With her Senshi powers intact, she vowed to protect the solar system from the forces of chaos, to continue her mother's legacy, and the cheer that answered her was near deafening. It filled her heart; a thousand years of waiting had led up to this very moment.

The newly crowned Queen smiled, looking back at the ones who had supported her, at her friends who had lent her their strength and brought her to where she was today.

And her breath caught in her throat.

There was a ghost who shouldn't have been there.

Older than she recalled and dressed like Saturn, but otherwise lifted right out of her memories.

The cheers of the crowd faded from her consciousness, and all that remained was the pounding of her heart. She didn't dare move, didn't dare breathe for fear of shattering the illusion. How else would you explain it? She'd accepted her as gone long ago, either lost to time or simply not existing in her universe altogether. She'd said her goodbyes a lifetime ago.

But then a familiar smile lifted those lips, soft and sad like the one frozen in her memory. "Chibiusa-chan."

She hadn't heard that name in decades.

"Hotaru... chan..."

She wanted to run, to take her in her arms and shower her with kisses all over, but the years had taught her restraint. She was the Queen now, a voice reminded her faintly, and she had to conduct herself properly with so many eyes turned to her. Fighting her body's every impulse, she took a single step. Then another. And another. Her legs wobbled and her vision was clouding over but she pushed on, determined to close the distance between them with each step. But when she saw Hotaru start towards her, her heel caught on her dress and she came crashing down on her knees.

And just like that, she was back in her classroom again—young, in love, and not a care in the world outside of tests and a girl who just wouldn't let go of her hand. Ripping off her heels, Chibiusa cast aside the stoic queen façade she had worked so hard to cultivate and ran. To the one person who now constituted the other half of her universe. She practically tackled her, but Hotaru managed to catch her whilst staying upright. Chibiusa collapsed in the arms that enveloped her and buried her face in the embrace; her touch, her scent—everything was just as she'd remembered. She cried freely now and clung onto Hotaru as tightly as she could. Her makeup was probably running all over the place, but Chibiusa could hardly care less. She'd missed this feeling, she missed it with all her heart, and she was never going to let it go again.

They stood for a while like that, so content was she to stay locked in her arms, but at last Chibiusa drew away just enough to cast an upward glance. The glossy eyes that stared back alone had changed. The light that once warmed her heart so no longer shone as brightly, having adopted the tiredness that came with adulthood, but even that was a familiar glow. It reminded her of a certain twelve-year-old, one who could never quite trust in others' affections yet all the same would give up everything just to save her. Chibiusa had no way of knowing what happened to Hotaru in the past thousand years but if that gentle girl still dwelled within those depths, there was nothing to worry about. After all, they had all the time in the world to rediscover each other.

Hotaru caught a stray tear and Chibiusa leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together.

"You look terrible."

"Speak for yourself."

They laughed through their tears.

I love you.

A/N: This was an idea I've entertained for the longest while. I never bought into the idea that manga!ChibiHota (incidentally my favourite iteration of them) would have much in the way of relationship drama. This is just me tracing out their story since I hardly see a need to tell it in its entirety. That said, I've neglected my writing muscles for six years so it reads a little rough (rather, like five totally separate stories) but I just love ChibiHota so much... sob

If you're as thirsty as I am for this pairing, please feel free to check out the C2 I set up~ (outdated feature? oh well, you're not gonna spoil my fun)

July 27 – August 6, 2016