A/N: I left this kind of open ended in some parts, so that you can kind of form your own ideas. Trigger warning.

I don't own glee.

Oh, simple thing,

Where have you gone?

If you have a minute, why don't we go,

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

-Somewhere Only We Know

I tried to forget about you.

I really, really did. I ignored every trace, every memory; Every thought, I washed away with the color of his eyes.

But I couldn't— or I wouldn't. I'm not sure. Either way, you were always right at the front of my brain, somewhere I couldn't remove— I could only push you back, and I tried, but—

You always ignored me, you know. Even in my own head, you'd spring forth. I couldn't listen to music, I couldn't watch the sunset, movies, books, everything was lost to me.

And I'd paint, paint to get rid of it all, paint the dresses that I had so carefully crafted on the canvas, tracing every angle, each ruffle, but every time I thought of color, I remembered yours— your lips, your hair, your skin, your eyes— the eyes that were always open, even as we touched mouths, and I ignored it, I always shut my eyes to them, because why were they open was a thought that I wanted to drown in the river of my blood stream before it reached my heart and then my eyes, because pools of shining crystals were allowed no further than my eyelashes.

And then I spoke to you, and you said you wanted to figure it out, you needed time, that you were rethinking, and I barely remember how all of the shattered dishes found their way to the floor, but they are, and there are dark red stripes up and down my arms and legs, and it scares me that I can't move.

Help me. I can't move.

Please.

And you came, you came like you always do, like we always wanted, because you were leaving, but I was still there, motionless, staring in space, and I couldn't see you until you were gone.

When you said you were leaving, I didn't know you meant like that.

And I don't know if it was an accident or not. Because they say it was, that you were trying to drive out of the city, but your tears could not have blurred your eyes enough for you to veer so far off course, to turn around completely and just hit and accept…

I will not accept. I cannot accept.

Because you're going to come through that door. You're going to pick me up off of the floor and cradle me in your arms and say that it was all just one big misunderstanding, that we need to just talk it out and it'll be okay.

You're going to comfort me as I stand here, clutching my wrist because I was not careful while making dinner because you were not careful while you were driving away from me.

Maybe you had just changed your mind?

But I'm feeling so lost and confused again, because once again I can't move, even though the floor is stained red and Mercedes is pummeling on the door, and someone is crying, and someone else is screaming, and I think that might be me. And I'm not sure why, because for some reason, this feels so good. So solid.

This is something I can hold onto.

And the door is opening, but not really. I know that it isn't actually, and you're standing in front of me, like I hoped you would, with those sad eyes, but they're open in a different way. And you're picking me up, carrying me away like I hoped you would, and I'm whispering a question and they are all shocked, but you are not, because you understand.

If I hurt myself on accident, but it feels good, is it self-harm?

And we are at a place where only we two know.

This could be the end of everything,

So why don't we go,

Somewhere only we know?

Meh, the song made me feel too sad. Because my imagination ran away with me a bit too much. Review, anyways.