Jen (Authoress): Hello, and Welcome to Les Mis Never Dies! Where I force the cast of Les Mis to perform Love Never Dies!
Cosette: I think I'll be leaving now…
Jen: No one leaves, time for me to start the casting! First Squelch is played by Jean Valjean because they're both freakishly strong.
Jean: Umm, thanks?
Jen: And gangle will be good old Javvie
Jean & Javert: Why?
Jen: To see your reactions! Priceless. And I will be Fleck because no one else is cool enough to play her. Plus, this way I can make sure you two don't kill each other. Fantine is Madame Giry.
Fantine: Ouch.
Jen: Ignoring that Cosette is Meg. Mwahaha!
Cosette: Why me?
Jen: You'll have no problem being nasty to Christine when you find out who's playing her. Gavroche is Gustave.
Gavroche:*Shrugs*
Jen: Grantaire will play Raoul.
Grantaire: Can I keep my wine?
Jen: Sure, Raoul's a drunk.
Grantaire: Yes!
Jen:...Moving on, Christine will be played by…
Cosette: Please don't be-
Jen: Èponine Thernadier!
Cosette: Damnit!
Èponine: So… I'm married to Grantaire… Gavroche is my son… and I still wind up dead by the end of the play?
Jen: Yep! And the Phantom will be…
Èponine: Marius, Marius, Marius!
Cosette: Oh you did not just-
Jen: You two really need to cut this out, or Dear Old Friend will be terrible! Anyway, the Phantom is Enjorlas!
Èponine and Enjorlas: WHAT?
Eponine: Why can't it be Marius?
Enjorlas: Yeah, why not?
Jen: Marius will never be cool enough to play the Phantom. This is why he's not here.
Cosette: Oh, come on!
Jen: You'll thank me when we get to Beneath a Moonless Sky. Now let's get cracking! Fantine, you're up!
(The sound of seagulls cawing forlornly as the tide rolls relentlessly in. Lights
slowly rise to reveal the boardwalk at Coney Island, in winter.
Against a dull grey sky, we see the abandoned frames of Coney's famous
attractions: A skeletal roller coaster… A frost-covered Ferris Wheel… A
decrepit steeplechase track. They rise behind a weathered wooden fence pasted
with old and tattered show posters, advertising the now-forgotten performers
who once delighted millions.
A woman enters, wrapped in a ragged coat. She is not old, but has clearly been
ill-used by time. She stops to gaze at the posters.)
FANTINE/MADAME GIRY
"Phantasma. City of Wonders… Mr. Y. Presents… Who's Mr.?
Jen: You'll find out. Get on with it.
Random Crowd: GET ON WITH IT!
Fantine: Okay… Marvels, astonishments…
Human prodigies. The Ooh La La Girl, Who?
Jen: Meg./Cosette
Fantine: Oh...
Five performances daily… Christine
Daaé, the soprano of the century" Gone. All gone. Aww, what happened?
Jen: Stuff. Fleck/me will tell you in a minute.
(As she trails off, a voice addresses her.)
Jen/FLECK
Yes…there's nothing left. Nothing but ghosts.
Marius: Ghosts? No, not again! Hide me!*dives under empty chair at empty table, tee hee!*
Fantine: Speaking of ghosts, shouldn't most of us be dead?
Jen: Must I explain it?
Cast: Yes!
Jen:*facepalm* 2 words. Creative license.
Cast:Ooh!
Marius: Cool! No more ghosts!
Jen: Wait…you aren't supposed to be here!
Marius: I stalked Cosette.
Cosette: Awwwww!
Èponine: *gags*
Jen:…Creepy. I guess I have to do something with you; you can be chorus and the props department.
Marius: Cool! I can stay?
Jen: I guess. *grumbles*Moving right along…
Jen/Fleck:
But I knew you'd come
back… Madame Giry.
(As the voice speaks, its source unfolds itself from the seaside debris: Another
woman, ageless and odd, with a pale face, sunken eyes, and a bizarre manner.)
FANTINE/MADAME GIRY
You…still here. How dumb is she?
Jen: She's in shock, there's a difference.
JEN/FLECK
Of course we're still here.
Fantine: We?
Jen: Ignoring that…
The freaks, the monstrous, the bizarre…
Fantine: You don't look very bizarre. You look normal…sort of.
Jen:*sigh**magically changes into Fleck costume and Fantine into Mme Giry* Better?
Fantine: I'll be quiet now…
Jen/Fleck:
Where else could we exist but here?
Fantine: Again with the we!
Jen:*glares*
And after the tragedy… After the master
disappeared with the child…
Fantine: The who disappeared with the what?
Jen: Grrr…
After the fire that consumed everything…
MADAME GIRY
His dream. Our dream… I dreamed a dream in time- *duct tape magically appears over Fantine's mouth*
Jen: *grins evilly*
JEN/FLECK
Remember how it was? Remember?
Fantine:*rips off tape* Ouch! And I don't!
Jen: I know, now please stop talking.
(Crooning, half-mad)
Coney Isle…
Glistening and glimmering!
Rising bright,
drenched with light…
(As she sings, ghostly fireworks explode overhead)
See it smile,
Fantine: How can it smile? It's an island!
Jen: It's personification!*sigh*
JEN/FLECK
beckoning and shimmering!
All agleam…
Like a dream..!
Fantine: I dreamed that -
Jen: One more word and you're going back to the dead!
Jean: One word more!
Jen: Eh tu Brute?
Jean and Fantine: *shut up*
Both: Every fantasy set free!
Sodom rising by the sea!
Fantine: What's sodom?
Jen: I'm not sure…*shrugs*
(The dilapidated seaside world begins to transform before our eyes, bursting
into light and color.)
FANTINE/MADAME GIRY
Coney Isle!
Miracle on miracle!
Speed and sound
all around.
Mile by mile,
loud and lewd and lyrical.
Thrill on thrill,
never still.
All America was there.
Beggar next to billionaire!
In they came,
chasing sensation and romance…
Eyes aflame, Eww…
desperate for pleasures yet unknown.
Night and day,
pouring in by the hundreds of thousands!
Swept away,
as their ev'ry desire was made real!
(The sound of the sea remains for a few moments, then the Coney Island Waltz
slowly starts up.
A vision of the past manifests itself – Coney Island in its heyday. At the height
of the reverie…)
FLECK
That's theplace that you ruined, you fool!
FANTINE/MADAME GIRY
Ouch.
(Shocked out of her reverie.) Wh…what? What do you mean? Seriously? Even I get it!
Jen: Yeah, Giry's a bit slow on the uptake in her old age.
JEN/FLECK
That's the world you destroyed with your greed!
FANTINE/MADAME GIRY
Hey! I'm not greedy! I gave everything I earned to the Thernadiers!
It wasn't my fault! I couldn't have known..!
JEN/FLECK
Don't you remember what happened back then?
Fantine: You know, I really don't.
Jen: I know, bear with me.
When we… Even we!... Dared to walk among men
Fantine: Why the we?
Jen: *ignores Fantine*
(Whispered, softly, gently)
When even a Phantom could dream his dark dreams once again…
Fantine: I dreamed a dream in time gone-
Jen: Can it!*rubs temples* Next chapter will be Heaven by the Sea, through Giry Confronts the Phantom. *walks offstage muttering about duct tape*
Sigh… I can't seem to control my cast. Reviews please!