A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot but it turned out to be fifteen pages long and... I wasn't going to post that all as a single chapter.
"I shouldn't be gone long, a few weeks at most."
She watched him carefully from where she stood, taking note of every brief shift in his expression, watching how it played on his solid features. He spoke clearly; his tone strong and never once wavering, but it was his eyes that broke the illusion. There was the hesitation, the reluctancy to follow through, the overall displeasure in the situation. She always assumed his rank in the military had given him the skills to hide what he needed to, to appear more confident than he ever was in something, but she knew the act; she knew how to overlook it, how to break it.
Fingers curled lightly around the thin glass in her hands, hoping to distill her own sense of worry.
"Who exactly are you escorting?" she questioned, slipping into her own act as she moved to set the same glass onto the overhanging rack above her. The stillness of the tavern around them only seemed to echo with every little breath, suffocating the silence.
"Senators mostly." he answered, choosing the easiest answer available.
"Will it just be you going?"
The brief pause of silence allowed for her to brace herself for the coming answer.
"I've already put together a small unit of soldiers to come along." he continued, arms slowly moving to cross over his chest.
"You're not bringing the Royal Knights with you?" yet another question, but this one was peaked with a small hint of curiosity. If he had planned on bringing them with him though, he would've said so or at least dropped a few names but… he didn't.
He held his ground though.
"Makalov and Astrid took the rest of the year off; Danved is assisting with the reconstruction in the west and Marcia's helping train some of the new recruits in Begnion. I'd prefer if Kieran and Lucia stayed here in the event if something happens."
That was right… she forgot more than half of the Royal Knights had split to take care of other businesses. Only a small handful of them had remained here. By next year though, they would all be back together and working as one force again. She wished they were together now though so that he wouldn't have to be the one to leave, or at least so that a few could offer to go alongside. She never considered herself someone to worry, worrying left lines and grievances on the skin, but this… this dug a bitter hole into her chest.
Fingers moved to pick up another glass from the counter in front of her and slowly placed it on the same overhanging rack.
"… When do you leave?"
She asked but she really didn't want to know the answer.
And he seemed just as reluctant to give it to her.
"Tomorrow."
Her grip slipped on the overhanging glass, missing the notch completely, and allowed for the glass to tumble back down; it splintered and shattered into thick shards as it broke against the edge of the counter, spilling its remains to the floor below.
He winced briefly at the ordeal before he moved towards her; the floorboards underneath creaking softly with each step. "Be careful, don't get to close to the glass."
Not that she really needed the warning, she owned a tavern and had broken plenty of glasses before; she even had one thrown at her once.
She stepped back slightly at the sharp collision of the glass against the polished counter and watched how the broken shards shot off in all directions; several of the pieces getting stuck underneath her heels. It seemed to take a moment before she moved to pinch the empty space between her eyes, a soft chuckle eventually escaping her. "I don't know why I'm acting like this." she remarked before she pushed herself from the counter, making her way over to where she had set the broom aside. "I guess I just thought since the war was over, then there wouldn't be any need for us to travel apart anymore."
Ugh, she sounded like an aged, old housewife.
Hands moved to retrieve the worn down broom from the far corner, barely noticing the way he managed to take it from her grasp.
"Believe me, I thought so too." he replied. "Can't say that I'm really looking forward to the journey myself."
A long sigh escaped her before she moved to rest her hands against his arms, tangling her fingers in the thick material of his sleeves. When she met his eyes next, she could see the slight exhaustion that had settled in his features. "It's just that, the construction on the house is almost done, I'm getting those new orders in next week for the inn and Amy starts school again soon enough… I really would've liked if you were there for all of it."
He set the broom aside and moved to pull her in against him. "Everything seems to be on the wrong time schedule here. The senators had to choose this week of all to finally get back on the road, right when half of our forces left to deal with their own conflicts… it's just a mess."
"I was thinking the same." she remarked, resting her chin against his chest. "Just remember though… if you stay away too long, I'm going to have to decorate the inside of the house and you'll just have to deal with the color scheme."
"I'll try to rush back as soon as I can then." he chuckled as he brushed his lips against her forehead. "Don't have the house warming party without me."
"I don't know if I can promise that much but we'll see."
She was never one for goodbyes so she decided not to go see him off; he probably wouldn't want her there anyways. She'd probably end up embarrassing him in front of those Senators… hmm, maybe she should've gone to see him just for that. Instead, she ended up spending those hours catching up on her sleep while Amy snuggled in the same bed as her.
By the time the sun peeked in through the windows, she knew he was gone.
This would be the longest day for her, not that she thought the rest of them would be any easier. He said he'd be gone for a few weeks at most but… even that was too long. Sighing lightly, she brushed her fingers through the tangled, violet-red locks that were pressed against her chest and listened to the soft murmurs that left the child.
"Momma?"
"What is it, sweetheart?"
"When will Sir Geoffrey be back?"
Already the questions were starting.
A light, almost forced chuckle left her before she moved to lightly kiss the girl's forehead. "In a few weeks, honey."
"That sounds like a long time."
Yeah it did.
"It'll go by quick enough." she assured before she moved to force herself away from the sheets, knowing that if she didn't do so now, she would probably stay in bed all day. "Now then, we need to get you one more outfit before you start school next week."
And just like that, she watched as the girl practically sprang out of bed and ran out of the room; hurrying to get dressed and freshened up in the bathroom. She caught herself laughing once more before she started her own slower process of getting to her feet. Sometimes she thought the girl was the only child in the town who was excited for the next school session; she had been dragging her around trying to finish getting supplies for the new classes and tended to talk nonstop about the topic. She was glad that she was eager to learn though- even if the enthusiasm would die down in the later years, as long as she could keep that passion now. Moving to her feet, she slipped out of the loose, sleeping gown and walked over to her dressing cabinet; pausing only briefly when she caught sight of her own reflection in the mirror.
She looked tired, almost exhausted really… she guessed she didn't sleep as well as she thought. The realization of that seemed to bring note to the momentary pain in her joints before it seemed to reside in her skin just as well.
She couldn't let the matter slow her down though and moved to pull open the doors to the wardrobe. Now then, one step at a time… what was she going to wear today?
It felt like each day moved more painstakingly than the last. She tried to stop counting them but she still found herself going back to the calendar that hung in the tavern. She swore it felt like months since he had left but time had only gone on for a week at most. Her orders had been brought in and she hated to admit that she was disappointed in the received shipments; she had ordered for new carpet to be put into the inn but the material that was delivered didn't even resemble the one she picked out. After a brief argument with the workers, she managed to get them to go back and review the paperwork to prove which of them had been right.
She was all the more confident that she was in the right and didn't bother to listen to their muttered complaints as they reloaded the shipment.
While it put a slight damper on the rest of her day, she tried to go back to work with her head still on straight.
She guessed she didn't really try hard enough with that last part though. All it seemed to take was just a mere two hours of working the counters at the tavern before her skull felt like it was trying to split. It was a tight sense of pressure behind her eyes that blurred her vision a few times; casting white spots in the corners of her eyes. She managed to overlook the ordeal for a short bit before she had to call in someone to take her place; it was barely two at that point but she felt as though she was going to pass out if she stayed longer. It was easy to place blame on the lack of sleep, the stress from earlier, all combined with the smoke and smell of liquor in the air.
The calming atmosphere of the inn was more suiting and helped to heal her raging headache for the moment; there was a still a lingering sense of tightness but it was far less damaging this time around. Her body was actually aching from the ordeal as well… she really needed to look into catching up on her sleep; maybe she should quit with the late night worrying, they were only going to make her health worse. And she certainly didn't want to look like an exhausted mess when he returned.
As though to help counterbalance her experience with the carpenters for the inn, a letter came in to certify that the construction of their house had finally been finished. They had previously settled on the idea of a nice little cottage not too far from the city so that they could both be in a comfortable distance to their work places. What had started out as a small idea somehow managed to turn into the physical form of a two story house with the staircase in the back and the windows gifted with brightly painted panels and sills. Walking through the empty shell, she saw where each room matched perfectly to the ones that had been drawn out on paper… it was exactly everything they had planned for.
"Where's my room going to be?" Amy questioned, following not too far behind her as she just ducked out from where the kitchen would be.
She chuckled lightly at the remark and looked over the larger sitting area she stood in at the moment. "It's upstairs, do you want to go see it?" the words barely finished from her lips before the girl was thundering towards the back of the house. The sound of quick feet hopping up the stairs meant she was going to waste no time in claiming the best room. With a soft shake of her head, she followed at a slower pace and moved to overlook all the rooms once more.
Fingers ran over the smooth surface of the railing that lined down one side of the stairs before she followed them up the decorated floor above. While the house would remain as a shell for now, until they got the furniture in that is, it still had a lively feel to it… The location of it played well with the exterior; the placement of the open windows allowed for the natural light to flood the long hallways.
"This one!" she glanced up at the call and watched as Amy peeked out from the doorway at the far end of the corridor. "Can I have this one?"
"It's all yours." she nodded, watching as the girl ducked back into the room. She didn't want to tell her that the room had already been designed for her anyways… it was just more fun to see her get excited for it.
She moved towards the first door on her right and carefully pushed it from its frame, opening it to the wide room on the other side. It was a little smaller than what she had imagined but it would be big enough for the two of them. The master bedroom… she was already picking out the different decorations she could put on the wall and what she could dress the floorboards with; he'd probably hate all of it because he preferred to keep things simple, but he wouldn't want to tell her that. Not that he ever had to, she already knew.
A light smile played on her lips at the thought of finally having a place of their own.
They were both so dedicated to their work that they tended to just stay there for a majority of the time. He had his own place in the palace and she had a room at the tavern and at the inn. But they had both been so determined to find some kind of middle ground to work with; they both agreed that when work died down for some breathing room, they would settle down in a place of their own. And here it was… now to just wait for the work portion to cut down.
"How long before we can move in?"
Always so eager and full of questions already.
She spared another chuckle at the girl's excitement and looked back to where she stood just behind her. "I don't know… we already have the furniture picked out, all we need to do is get some people to help move it all in. Maybe a few days at most? By the end of the week at the latest."
"Really?!"
"I promise."
Somehow, once the house was fully furnished, it felt emptier…
She blamed it on herself though, on her overactive memories that seemed to grow in the stilling silence. They had planned ahead of themselves and once the blueprints of the house had been approved and started on, they went shopping. She was glad their tastes seemed to match for the most part and the few times they came up on opposite sides, the argument was easy to dispel and they both were happy with the results. They put down the payments for every piece and had them stored away for a later day, or for this time, whenever the house was finished. That way all they would have to do is go pick up the pieces and have them delivered back here where they could arrange the pieces as they liked.
It had been easy to secure a moving crew and while she had wished they weren't so clumsy at times, she was glad to have gotten one on such short time. She dictated where each piece would go although she was certain he would change a few of them the moment he returned…
Seated on the small couch in the living area, she listened to the silence and let it develop around her. Amy was asleep upstairs, exhausted from her first week of school that she had talked nonstop about up until she fell asleep. It was just herself sitting there in the faint amount of darkness. She used to regard herself as being clearly independent and never needing someone else to lean on, but right then… she felt like she needed his shoulder to be against.
Eyes closed for a moment as she leaned back against the cushions behind her, a small lingering ache still remaining in the back of her head. She had worked a full shift and a half that day on stressed sleep… it felt like her body was falling apart already. She never used to have a problem with sleeping in an empty bed, Goddess knows they had spent plenty of nights apart anyways. She guessed it was just that this was supposed to be their house, they should've been sharing the master bed upstairs. Instead, it was just her…
Well maybe not just her.
And maybe it just wasn't stressed sleep that was making her feel so awful as of lately.