I shouldn't care.

I don't care

I can do better, I have done better.

Well that's not true.

She was pure, something worth protecting.

Rick entered the dot, everyone's eyes immediately went to him. It was an understatement to say he was hated, and for good reason. He almost killed one of the nicest girls in school. No one gets away with that, not even me. I watched through my glaring eyes as he made his way to the counter, to get a coffee. He stood there a minute, taking in his surroundings, taking in Emma. I growl a little.

"Baby, don't let him get to you." Alex's voice tries to calm me down. Sweet, naïve Alex, it's not his sheer presence that's bothering me. He is not allowed to look at her, think about her, or do anything of the short to her. I won't let him hit another sweet girl, especially Emma. She's on the Jason Hogart and Sean Cameron protect list. Secretly, of course.

I watch as the blonde say something to Paige. She seems nervous, but I try not to care, and go back to my girlfriend, who is still trying to get his sheer presence of my mind. I continue to glare at him as he walks by with his coffee, trying to act cool and leave. I see Emma stick her small little foot out. That's my girl.

He falls to the hard floor, coffee everywhere, but no one seems to mind much. No one, except Rick. I watch as he gets up angrily, and stalks over to Emma. I'm up and over there before I know what happened. No one hits her, no one approaches her like that, and no one gets away with even thinking about doing anything like that. Sean's orders of course.

I turn back to the girl, the little blonde, sitting behind me, with big scared brown eyes. That tears it, I'm taking him outside. I am not allowed to let a little creepy boy enter her dreams and make them nightmares. I mean, Greenpeace is supposed to be sleeping peacefully at night, thinking about how she's going to save the world, one bunny at a time. And me and Sean were supposed to protect that, but she can't know.

She isn't allowed one nightmare, and I will kick the crap out of this kid for scaring her, and almost attacking her. I make a mental note to tell Sean. She is going to need constant supervision after this. I don't care what it takes, I- We will not let this little punk scare her again. I drag him outside, punching him, kicking him, making sure that I get my idea across.

I feel like screaming, "Your not allowed to look at her, touch her, or think about her," while punching him, but I don't. I only let out grunts, because if I were to yell out anything else, bad ass image would be blown. I feel myself being pulled off of him, by Emma's small hands. She is telling us to stop, pushing Alex away. I forgot that her little body had once kicked Alex's ass.

I sigh, turning away. She may not know it, but me and Sean; we were going to be there. She just bought her way in to Rick's eyes and possibly his heart for defending him. And that is not somewhere you want to be.

I convinced myself that everything I did for her, I did because Sean had told me to protect her.

He told me that he loved her, and he told me that he couldn't let her go.

I knew they hadn't had closure, I figured that was why.

But it wasn't.

Once that girl gets in you head, she stays.

I remember the night he explained it all to me.

We sat together on my couch, watching the T.V, waiting for our girlfriends to come over. Life was boring, until Sean spoke up, already drunk.

"I love her, ya' know"

I thought he meant Amy at first. I didn't want to burst his bubble and tell him that she was kind of a slut, but I did anyway, because I am a good friend. An honest, loyal, friend who needs to filter what he says. He laughed though, as if were the funniest thing in the world. God, Sean was a ditzy drunk, something I figure only some people knew about him.

"Not Amy…God no… Emma"

His eyes got teary, as if she had died or something. I wasn't digging the whole theatrics. I sighed and told him that it really, really didn't matter. But he kept on staring, before turning to me, his eyes dark.

"We need to protect her, ya know? She's too weak…Like she can't defend herself."

I laughed for a second. The other day, Emma had gotten into a fight at school, a fight where she had kicked his girlfriend ass. And Alex was one of the toughest girls at school. I laughed at him, telling him there was no way a girl like that needed protecting. But he thought otherwise.

"Dude, she's not like that all the time. She's weak, frail. Normally, under any other circumstances, that would have never happened. She would have run away…"

I could tell he was serious, his eyes showed that much. I sighed, running my hand through my hair, hoping that he wouldn't remember this deal in the morning. I obliged, and swore on his life that I would protect Emma Nelson.

The next morning, he remembered.

He even asked me about it.

I swore again… And I would do it again in a second.

But then I had to go and mess her up.

After the shooting, both Sean and were screwed up.

He was screwed up because he blamed himself for killing Rick.

I was screwed up because I hadn't been there to save Emma myself.

So when he left, I tried to forget my promise. I didn't want to protect her; I wanted to destroy her for what she had done. She had kept me up at night, made me paranoid, made me think that she had died, because I wasn't there. Secretly protecting her.

So, I tried and ruin her.

I have gonorrhea. I know it. All's this is going to do is make my payback, even sweeter. She's interested, I can tell. She was going to come. When Emma came back to the ravine, I knew, immediately, what I was going to do. She was going to get sick, her good girl rep would be tarnished, and then, she would be out of my head. I wouldn't need to protect her.

If I ruin her, she won't need protecting. She get stronger, be able to defend her. She won't need me, or Sean. So why is it that I feel like I just killed something? I watched her the rest of the week at school, and I watched her realize what had happened. I was strong, didn't give away my plan. But I realized I had failed. She wasn't stronger. She was weak again, fragile. She needed to be protected more then anything.

Now I sit, with her best friend lying in my arms, still thinking of ways.

Ways I can protect her from the world she loves.

From the people she loves.

And from the people who love her.

But mainly I want to protect her from someone. Someone I know will just hurt her again.

I need to protect her from me…