LIGHT A FIRE
{Author's Note: Revised chapter (17.04.2015) Wasn't happy with the old one so this basically explains more between Tessa and Daryl. This is set at the start of season four. Enjoy! Please read and review :)}
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the character(s) you don't recognise.
Lyrics: My Favourite Faded Fantasy by Damien Rice.
You could hold the secrets that save me from myself,
I could love you more than love could,
I could love you more than life,
If I wasn't so afraid…
-+-
[THE PRISON]
It hadn't been long since The Governor's attack on the prison.
Everyone from Woodbury now had a new home within our walls and they were becoming like an extended family.
It was great to hear laughter and to see children running around as though death and destruction didn't lurk just past our fences.
Mostly, it was at least something to know that Merle didn't die for nothing.
I wanted to tell Daryl that, to comfort him and to help him grieve, but…I couldn't.
Seeing him in pain tore me apart and just brought back devastating memories that were best left buried.
Out of everyone, I knew how much it hurt to lose your brother in a tragic way with the people responsible still out there.
I knew that I should be telling him this and easing the pain, but I was scared to push too far and cause more harm than good.
I could see him on the other side of the prison, gathering his belongings for another supply run.
He was pushing himself, but I could understand it; it's easier to keep busy and forget, than to take a moment to remember.
"Tessa?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was walking over to me with a determined look behind his eyes.
Nerves took over as I carried on walking, briefly closing my eyes to compose myself as I dared not turn around and face the one person who always managed to soften my exterior.
"Tessa!"
This time I was forced to stop or I'd of collided with him as he had moved to block my way.
Finally, I found myself lifting my gaze up to his.
I was met with a pair of the most beautifully expressive eyes I had ever seen.
He may keep his past hidden, but his emotions were laid out for all to see.
"I need someone to go on a run with me-you in?"
He was watching me intensely, a strange feeling of need filling the air between us.
I wanted to go.
I wanted to get out and tell him all of the things that I had wanted to say to him for months..
But I didn't know if I could handle being in such close proximity and still be able to keep a level head.
"Daryl-"
"I need someone who's quick, and you wanted to ride on the back of the bike, right?"
I was stunned into complete silence.
He had remembered that months ago I had let it slip that it was on my bucket list to ride on a motorcycle and feel the same lack of restraint that he must feel.
I could feel my heart starting to thaw as it made a quick decision without actually consulting my head.
"How hard do I hold on?"
A ghost of a smirk slightly lifted his lips upwards as he lead me over to where he had already packed two bags for us and a map was detailing where we hadn't scavenged yet.
He swung his right leg over the bike as he turned to look over at me, silently indicating for me to get on.
"Promise that I won't fall off and break my neck?"
Nerves were starting to set in as I shakily got on, my arms hesitantly wrapping themselves around his waist.
My walls were starting to crumble down again as I let my head fall forwards and rest on his back.
Daryl stiffened, his hands clutching the bars like it was the only thing keeping him steady.
"Ain't nothin' gonna happen to you…" He finally managed to say quietly as he started the bike and the serene feeling of wind breezing across my face melted away my fears and insecurities.
-+-
[ON THE SUPPLY RUN]
We reached the still intact shopping mall just as the sun was starting to set, as I shakily swung my right leg off the bike, already missing the feeling I got.
From first glance it seemed to be desolate, with only a few cars still scattered about the parking lot.
The wind started to pick up, sending a slight smell of decomposing flesh our way.
"Smells like there could be some around…" I looked over at Daryl before taking out my knife.
"Ain't none out here…"
He was scanning the immediate area intensely, his crossbow raised as he gazed down the sight with his senses on full alert.
After a few minutes of searching, he lowered it briefly to address me, "Could be comin' from inside…"
I nodded in agreement, gripping onto my knife as I finally turned to look at the shopping mall, soon regretting ever coming out with him.
Memories of long-gone times flashed before my eyes as I closed them, sadness threatening to take over and render me paralysed.
"Tessa?"
His voice sounded so far away as over-lapping noises filled my head with the laughter of my brother who had decided to try on every single one of the prom dresses in some fancy department and post it up on Facebook.
'Hey Tess, do you think that green is my colour?"
He had slurred his words slightly, a goofy grin plastered on his face.
I laughed weakly at the memory as my reply came back instantaneous, 'Actually, I preferred the pink, frilly one!'
That was one drunken memory that we didn't let him forget in a hurry…
"Tessa!"
A pair of strong hands were holding onto my shoulders as I blinked out of my memory to see Daryl looking concerned, "You okay?"
I gasped as I nodded briefly and spoke quickly, "There is only one entrance as they hadn't finished the expansion and there is a big department store on the third level…"
Not giving him enough time to question me, I bit my lip and trudged forwards towards the now empty building.
I could feel the tension between us as he kept close to my side with his crossbow raised.
After about an hour of checking out the first level in silence, he spoke up.
"Herschel wants you to be on the council…"
He had broached this subject with me a while back but my answer was still the same.
"I can't…I cant be involved in decisions that could get people killed again-"
He went quiet as I widened my eyes at realising I had let too much slip.
"Daryl…"
Instead of wanting me to elaborate on what I meant, he acted like I hadn't answered, "Just think about it?"
I nodded softly, "I'll think about it."
Sighing gently, I knew that the guilt inside of me would eat away at my conscience if I didn't try to help him with his grief over Merle's death.
"Daryl…I'm so sorry with what happened to Merle. I-"
"Merle had already turned when I got there."
He had answered me back quickly, obviously not wanting to hear what he mistook for pity.
Nevertheless, his words shocked me as I swiftly turned to face him, "The Governor?"
He nodded silently, an expression of bitter anger taking over his features, "Stupid asshole got himself killed, but it didn't do shit! Governor still got away!"
I looked down to process all the information before I could face him again, "I'm so sorry…but none of it is your fault Daryl! You knew your brother more than most, and he wouldn't of listened to any reasoning once he had set his mind on something…"
Daryl scoffed, "Shoulda' known…"
"No one would of known…but he gave us a chance! He gave Michonne a chance! I will never forget that and I doubt anyone else will!"
He paused to look at me as he nodded, already chewing on his bottom lip-a sign that he was either nervous or comprehending his thoughts.
"You been here before?"
At his question my smile faded and I shrugged nonchalantly, "A long time ago…"
He gestured to the once expensive stores that were now damaged to the point of being unrecognisable, "I ain't been to a place like this before…"
I smiled lightly, "You haven't? Well, you missed the many Starbucks and Taco Tuesdays…" I sighed softly, "My Dad was a businessman, and he'd compensate his absence by giving us both a ridiculous amount of money. So my brother and I would always spend our allowances here."
His brow furrowed, "You had a brother?"
I nodded, "My twin. Caleb…he…" I shook my head to stop the tears from threatening to fall as I kept walking through the desolate mall.
"Was just you and him?"
It wasn't really a question, it was an acknowledgement that he understood what I meant.
"For a while, but then you meet up with others and suddenly these strange thoughts take over and you struggle to decide what's paranoia and what's a real threat."
Taking a brief pause I continued with, "You just don't know who to trust or who will throw you to the walkers without a second thought. It gets so tiring that in the end I just shut off…"
Daryl nodded in understanding, "You thought that about me? When I found you?"
"Yes."
I spoke simply in a bid to stop the guilt from building up inside of me.
"I had been with two other groups and both times it didn't work out, the latter group…weren't too friendly."
I felt him stiffen, "They hurt you?"
Not being able to answer him from fear of the memories surfacing, I turned to enter a damaged store and rummage through the debris for anything useful.
"The blood on your clothes…"
"Don't!"
I turned around to glare at him as my words echoed the emotion behind my eyes.
The memories were still too raw to deal with.
My physical scars may be near enough healed, but mentally they were still fresh.
I expected him to leave it but he stood his ground, "They still alive?!"
"DON'T!"
I screamed as I went to push past him but was blocked by his body.
"Tessa…" His voice was so soft that I wasn't expecting it.
I wanted him to get angry and shout back at me-that I could handle.
I couldn't handle this.
I lifted up my gaze towards his intensely.
"I wanted to believe that people could be good and that no one would want to hurt fellow survivors! But it wasn't the case! They just laughed! They didn't let me say goodbye! I should off been the one to do it! Not them! HE WAS MY BROTHER!"
My anguished cry echoed as I turned away from him, hastily wiping away the tears from my cheeks.
Daryl watched me silently, his body stiff but his eyes soft.
"I can kill any walker, but a person?" I laughed humourlessly, "I'm weak…"
He shook his head, "Weak people give up, you ain't givin' up!"
My bleary eyes lifted up towards his as I asked softly, "And that matters?"
"No sense in endin' it unless you're bit!"
His words hung in the air between us as I thought it all through before saying, "I want to do something…a final goodbye?"
He looked confused but nodded as he followed me outside to where a handful of walkers were stumbling towards us.
I took out my silenced pistol that used to belong to Caleb and aimed steadily at the walkers.
"This guy who taught my brother and I to shoot used to do this as a way to let out all of his anger. He'd say that it grants them mercy as well as keeps you sane. So, every walker I grant mercy equals one of those bastards! Jonas! Harry! Marty!"
Daryl watched me silently as he then lifted up his crossbow and shot one through the head, "Governor…"
I looked over at him and smiled slightly, pain easing from my chest, "I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you sooner. I guess…I couldn't face seeing you in pain."
My words seemed to have struck a chord with him as he chewed on his bottom lip before answering, "Nothin' to apologise for…"
"I'm nearing the end of my clip…" I laughed gently, lowering my gun as another walker fell from an arrow in the head, "Thank you…"
Daryl nodded quietly as he reloaded his crossbow, both of us ending the last walker's torment whilst also granting ourselves the light that was needed.
"Herschel wanted you to talk to me? Come out here with me?" I turned to look at Daryl as my dark curls clung to my forehead.
"No…I wanted to have someone who I could trust watchin' my back…" He turned to look at me as I felt shivers run up my spine.
"You can trust Glenn or Maggie."
I knew what he had meant, but I still needed to hear him say it.
"I wanted you," he shrugged to try and cushion the emotional blow, but the meaning behind those words still stayed with me.
Seconds turned to minutes as I digested what he had told me before finally managing to gather up enough of my thoughts to speak.
"Thank you…" I lowered my gun as I then touched his hand briefly before walking back into the mall.
If I had stayed any longer then I might of done something stupid.
Daryl stood there for a minute, his hand tingling from the soft caress as he chewed on his bottom lip before following me back inside.