Don't Suffer Your Broken Heart Alone

Gigi convinces William to let her help with the "incident" (and in the process learns just how over George Wickham she really is).

As soon as the Domino demo recording was turned off, Gigi grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts, punching William's entry a little too forcefully. As she listened to the phone ringing on the other end, she wondered if William would consider not taking the call and ignoring her, considering he did just hang up on her. But if it did have to come to a battle of wills, then she would play this game with him. Never let it be said that stubbornness didn't run in the Darcy family.

However, William knew her best, and probably could predict what she was thinking, because after a few rings, he picked up.

"Gigi." There was something like a sigh in his voice that wasn't there the last time he answered.

"William, look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made that last call on the demo."

"You think?"

"I'm sorry, I really am, but you can't tell me you're not doing anything and expect me to leave the situation alone."

She couldn't keep the frustration out of her voice. She knew he wouldn't just sit back and do nothing; that was not how William Darcy worked. It was precisely because of this that made his earlier message so infuriating to her that she momentarily forgot she was on a video being uploaded on their company channel.

"Let me help, please, William," she said when he didn't answer.

"Gigi, don't push this. I can't have you involved."

He sounded so tired as he said this that for a moment, Gigi paused and considered giving in. The truth was, she knew what he wasn't saying. It was already enough for him to think about how hurt Lizzie was, enough for him to worry about Lizzie. He didn't need to add her to his worries as well. She understood this, it showed all too clear in his haggard appearance earlier on the video call, which was shocking and painful to see. He had been so excited – well, as excited as William could outwardly look – when he left to seek out Lizzie on Wednesday afternoon. He had left her office looking furious and the video call was the first time she had seen his face since he left Pemberley. It was clear that he barely managed to get any sleep at all in the last two days, and if Gigi knew him well, he probably wasn't eating properly either. She had to push back nagging guilt at adding more to his stress, but she couldn't just sit around waiting, could she?

"William, do you know how I know that I can handle this? No, just – just listen. You are right, this situation should hurt me, it should open wounds, it should break my heart. But the only thing that's breaking my heart right now is thinking of how much hurt and fear Lizzie and her family must be going through, and how you think you need to solve this all by yourself. And don't – I know you're not by yourself, I know Fitz is working just as hard as you are about this. But you have to let me do something too. I can't sit back and not do anything, for the very same reason you can't ignore this either. I know how it feels, William and I wish I didn't, you wish it too, but we both know how this feels. Please trust me to know what I can take."

"It's not that I don't trust you. I just can't see you hurt again, not now, not when I need to focus. Gigi, you broke down in tears just talking about him a couple of weeks ago on Lizzie's vlog," William said, the sadness was clear in his voice.

"Because I had to think about how stupid I was, how blind I was, believing everything George said, for not realising that if there was ever anyone who always needs me, it's you, then and now. But since you remember so much about that video, then you remember what I said about the dangers of keeping someone ignorant." She could hear William sigh, a tad exasperated. After she shot that video with Lizzie, they had a rather long conversation regarding the merit of such a statement, that only ended in them agreeing to disagree. "Lizzie was never warned Lydia or talked about your letter explicitly because she was protecting me, before she even knew me. I can't say I wasn't trying to undo that with that video, which apparently didn't work. I can't bear to think that I can't do anything to help her now when it was all partly my –"

"It's not your fault!" he interrupted her sharply.

Of course he would say that. Gigi couldn't help rolling her eyes, even though he couldn't see her now.

"And hello, pot, I'm kettle," she said.

"What?"

"You think it's your fault. Don't deny it. It's me, remember? I know you too well."

He was silent.

"Let's not discuss our guilt. No amount of telling each other 'it's not your fault' is going to help this situation. The point is, this isn't about our feeling of responsibility. This is about Lizzie – well, mostly Lizzie for you, but also Lydia for me."

"You don't even know Lydia."

She hesitated for a moment, and then was glad that this was a phone conversation. As much as she loved William, she wasn't sure she could be totally candid with him if he were here now, looking at her with concern.

"I know what it's like to be Lydia. I went and looked for her video blog – "

"Gigi – "

"No, I had to. It…it was hardto watch them, not even because he was in them, but because it was like watching my past self." She couldn't keep her voice from shaking and William made noises to interrupt again, but she ploughed on. "I can't say it wasn't all very triggering, but it affected me in a different way from what you're thinking. He fed her all the same lines, all the same charm, and she believed them the way I believed them. And I watch them and they hurt not because of him, not because he can make me feel anything anymore, but because I am so, so sorry for Lydia. I want to help her as much as I want to help Lizzie. William, I need to. Don't make me just sit here just waiting for you to keep me updated, because then you'll never tell me anything and tell yourself that you're doing it to protect me. If Fitz didn't make you tell me before Lizzie published the video, you would never even let me know why Lizzie just left and don't you dare deny this!"

She let out a harsh breath, after which a long silence followed as she waited for a respond from her brother. It would take its time coming, because William Darcy never speaks before he thinks.

"Wanting to protect you isn't a crime, Gigi," William said.

"Then protect me from myself. Save me from having nothing to do but going over memories in my mind and worrying and wondering, thinking up horrible possibilities. Because aside from school, work and practice, you can't imagine I have the heart to do much else."

"Seeing him on Lydia's videos really doesn't hurt you?" His voice was softer, still skeptical, but she could tell that he was no longer holding fast onto this idea that she was irreparably broken by her experience with George and was, at least, opening himself up to the idea that she could grow and heal enough to take the reality at hand.

"I'm not in any way jealous of Lydia Bennet, if that's what you're really asking," she said. "I can look at him now and see how he managed to charm me into that relationship, but also how much I needed to get out of it but never saw the way out by myself. You showed me the way out, but you can't hide me away, William. You can never hide me away from my memories which have tormented me more than this situation with Lydia ever can."

There was a lengthy silence on the other end.

"You want to know if I'm really stronger now. I'm sorry, William, but you will never know that if you don't let me prove it. Maybe I need to prove it to myself too, because you are right, just a few weeks ago, I was avoiding any mention of him on Lizzie's videos and crying just talking about him. Maybe then I was afraid of what seeing him would do to me, but now that I have seen him, I feel relieved, you know? Relieved that I got out, relieved that it doesn't hurt as much as I expected it to. But for Lydia it's not like that. You of all people must understand the desperate need to help and whatever you say about Lydia and how I don't know her, I still need to help her, for me as much as for her."

"It would mean that much to you?"

Gigi almost smiled to herself. It was one thing for William to want to keep her out of this because he instinctively went into his oh-so-typical big-brother-overprotective mode, it was quite another not letting her help when it might be good for her in the long run. She wasn't even quite sure why it had to take this long for them to get to this point. Then again, with William, it was always better to lean more towards the long-winded side of explanations when it comes to feelings than expect him to really pick up the clues.

It was only when she finished speaking that she realised all her words spoken in earnest, that this wasn't merely an attempt to convince him to let her in with the plan. When she watched Lizzie's videos, she had skipped the ones with George in them, but now, seeing him on Lydia's, her feelings were less directed at him and more directed at the girl who was so different from her, yet so familiar. Her heart went out to Lydia now, though the stranger girl that made Gigi feel like she knew her intimately. What she was saying now to William were truly from the heart, though before this conversation started, before she was put into this emotional state, if you asked, she probably couldn't articulate things quite like this.

"Yes, William." She paused to let him gather his thoughts, then spoke again. "When Fitz and I told Lizzie that you're Darcy and you take care of people you love, did it ever occur to you that I'm a Darcy too?"

There was another long stretch of silence, in which Gigi could imagine all the thought processes going through his mind, weighing the pros and cons of letting her in and allowing her to get involved. Perhaps it was a little ludicrous that he had the authority to allow or disallow her to do anything, but she did have to admit their relationship was never exactly conventional. He was her brother, but he had also been her guardian and now he was her boss (she got away with little things like being a horrible tour guide but that didn't mean she didn't have to respect his authority when it came down to things that mattered). It couldn't get more unconventional than that.

This wasn't a company problem, of course, and maybe she could bully Fitz into letting her help without William knowing, but in some things, important things, it was just better that they were all on the same page. Besides, she was tired of hiding things to do with George Wickham from her brother.

"I'm going to regret this," he said finally.

This time, Gigi did smile, though he could not see it.

"No, William, you won't. You are doing this out of love for Lizzie and so am I. You can't tell me whatever this is going to take won't bring back bad memories for you, and I won't escape those either, but we're both going to do this anyway, because it's right. Right?"

"Just promise me that if – "

"It's too much to handle, I'll back off and hand things back to you? Can you be a little less predictable?"

Her brother didn't answer, but she could imagine him raising an expectant eyebrow.

"All right, fine," she said, not bothering to keep the petulance out of her voice.

"I'll hold you to that," William said. "There is something immediate that you could actually help me with right now, actually. Lizzie's things need to be packed and sent to her. I would have done it but it seemed like such an invasion of her privacy that I – well… Anyway, she left the keys of the place she was house-sitting with Adams who took her to the airport yesterday. I was about to ask Charlotte Lu to come up for the weekend and do it but – "

Why was it, that when it came to William, either he was stubbornly silent or he was rambling?

"So basically you want me to clean house?" Gigi asked, interrupting.

It wasn't that she was refusing, exactly, because someone had to pack Lizzie's stuff for her. Regardless of what Gigi wanted to happen between her brother and Lizzie, she didn't want to subject Lizzie to the mortification of wondering whether William had rooted around her dirty laundry and underwear. She should also just save Charlotte Lu the task of coming up, because from the videos, Gigi knew that Charlotte would probably have a hard enough time trying to get time off at all, without revealing what really happened to Aunt Catherine, who always detested George, even before... If Charlotte was going home, Gigi would rather Lizzie had the comfort of her best friend for as long as possible instead of Charlotte having to drive to San Francisco, pack and drive back home.

Gigi just hoped that this wasn't all William was willing to let her do.

"It's what you can do first, Gigi. I'll give Adams the keys and ask him to pick you up and drive you to the place. You might need his help with boxes. She probably won't have a lot of things but just in case."

Gigi made a noise to indicate she was listening.

"Right now, I don't know what else you can do until we have more information. We're trying to locate him, but he's proving illusive."

"Of course he is," she muttered, more to herself than to him. "Don't make that face, William. I'm not being bitter about him. What are you going to do after you find him though?"

"It will depend on what we can find out from him. I imagine at some point one of us will need to talk to Lydia."

"And by 'one of us', you mean me," Gigi said.

There was a pause, then a sigh. "On the one hand, I don't want to put you through that – "

"On the other, judging from her videos, she won't listen to you. Granted, she probably wouldn't want to listen to me either since she has never even met me, but maybe, if I tell her about…George and me, she might have to."

"Well, I'm hoping for that, at least. But this is Lydia Bennet. The thing is, I don't know if she's with George or somewhere else. It would be more convenient if she's with George, then I wouldn't have to dig around for her phone number. Charlotte would probably have it, but to be honest I don't want to let it slip to her what we're doing."

Gigi frowned at this confusing trail of thoughts. But at least, it was "what we're doing" now.

"You don't want to get her hopes up?"

"No, if I tell her, she'll just tell Lizzie. Speaking of Lizzie, you can't tell her what you're doing either."

"Why not?" she asked indignantly. "You're doing all this for her, why not tell her? Don't you think she would appreciate it?"

"I thought you understand that we're doing this because it's right? I'm not doing this for her appreciation."

"Not even when it might improve her opinion of you significantly?"

"Especially then. I can't have her feel like she owes me anything…"

"William Darcy, you are an idiot."

"No, I'm not. Gigi, I'm serious. Please, you can't let Lizzie know. Not through the phone, demo videos, twitter, anything."

Gigi wondered how her brother would react if she just accidentally said something…

"Gigi! Promise me!"

"All right! I won't tell her."

If her brother made her promise not to say anything to Lizzie, then she would, but she wasn't promising that she wouldn't say anything to Lydia, or that Lydia wouldn't say anything to Lizzie. After all, William did want her to talk to Lydia at some point.

She was about to ask about what he planned to do if Lydia really did know about the tape being released and actually gave full consent to it, but he spoke before she could.

"I just got a text from Fitz. I need to call him. I'll let you know the progress later. Call Adams in half an hour, he should have the keys then."

"Okay. And William? Go get something to eat. And after calling Fitz, have a nap or something. You look horrible."

"I'm fine."

"And a terrible liar. Just, please? Take care of yourself. For my sake if not for your own."

There was a short pause. Then: "I will." There was a softness to his voice, which meant that he was at least sincere and would take her words to heart. "And Gigi – "

"I know. Love you too."

Gigi gave a long sigh as the line went dead. She couldn't help feeling relieved that she had managed to convince William to not keep everything to himself. It was likely that he would still try to keep the bulk of dealing with George to himself and not let her be exposed to him, but still he had agreed to at least confide in her. He was accepting that she wasn't the damsel in distress anymore and that she was capable of growing from her experience with George. Truthfully, that was what she wanted. She would never be able to convince herself that she had moved on, if those closest around her – like her brother – didn't acknowledge that as well.

The lyrics to the Taylor Swift song which she had listened obsessively to at one point came back to her now. Yes, she and George would never get back together, and perhaps in a perfect world, she would never have to even lay eyes on him again. But Gigi would like to think that since the world isn't perfect, she would be able to look at him and see all the falseness and deceit that she never saw before. She would look at him then look at herself, and say with confidence that she was no longer the child whose crush and trust he once exploited, but one who had grown wiser and stronger now. Her only hope pertaining to him now was to put him in a place where he could never hurt anyone else again. But even if that was not attainable, then at least she could save one more lonely soul yearning for love from being totally destroyed by George Wickham. Even if it was too late for Lydia Bennet's heart, she hoped she could at least show her that broken hearts do mend, as long as you trusted those who cared about you to get you out of that darkness and let their love, more true and unconditional than anything that George's selfish heart could give, heal you.

George Wickham had nearly torn her away from William, she could not sit back and watch him tear Lydia Bennet from her family as well. And maybe, just maybe, when this was all over, she would find in Lydia someone who would understand what it was like to be under the spell, and to be able to get away.

Because Lydia had to get away in the end. No one should be stuck with that douchebag for even just a moment.

(No, that wasn't a Lizzie-ism.)

A/N: This will probably be cannon-balled pretty quickly. Then again, what speculative LBD fic isn't? :D Most likely I won't be continuing this, because of the aforementioned rapid cannon-balling.

By the way, regarding the 2nd demo video in question: 1) I can't blame Darcy for wanting to keep Gigi out of it, and 2) I understand why Gigi is annoyed. From two different perspectives all of this is perfectly logical. 3) I personally want Gigi to have a part but 4) if in reality this gets cannon-balled and she never gets involved then I don't have a problem with that.

There's actually a very brilliant fic where Darcy does do Lizzie's packing himself on AO3: Tying Up Loose Ends by imaginarycircus.

And I know the creators/writers spell Gigi's name as "GiGi", but that second capital G really irks me, so I will just forever spell her name as "Gigi". (Yes I care about things like this.)