~~~ Not a big fan of Elle, but we'll see how this goes. Enjoy! ~~~
Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. ~ Erwin Knoll
Sometimes, they're hard to find. You'll have to flip all the way through, look for the smallest, most inconspicious article. Other times, if it's a bigger story, your eye zooms to it immediatley.
When you joined the BAU, you knew the job would be addicting. Everyone told you so. You can't leave it. Or, maybe, it can't leave you.
Either way.
You never expected to be scrutinizing newspapers, cutting out the articles that have to do with what was once your entire life, and preserving those articles in a tin can which was, at one point in time, filled with chocolate. Like some type of sick memory box.
When you open the lid, you can still catch a whiff of the chocolate.
And then, you'll catch a glimpse of the articles.
~~~***~~~
FBI AGENT STEPS DOWN FROM ELITE TEAM
It's about you. And it still stings, sometimes. It can still get you to reach for that bottle of wine. It can still make you remember those last words you said to Hotch - "When I first joined the team, I couldn't figure out why you never ever smile. Now, I'm going to miss that." It still makes you feel angry as hell at that monster who shot you. It still makes you question yourself: how can you not feel guilty? How can you not feel - ?
Because you don't feel guilty. Come face to face with that choice once more, you'd shoot him again.
That scares you. What'd that job do to you? What'd that monster who shot you do to you? Couple of years ago, you'd never have shot a person. Carrying a gun was a requirment for your job, but you swore to yourself you'd never use it.
Until you did.
October 26/06 -- Supervisory Special Agent Greenaway stepped down from her position in the BAU yesterday, reasons unknown
The BAU (Bureau Analysis Unit) is responsible for profiling and then tracking down serial killers. SSA Greenaway came under scrutiny a month back when she shot and killed a suspect in a BAU case. This was later determined to be in self-defence.
The BAU says the are not looking for a replacement at this time.
There's not even a picture of you.
It's short and sweet.
It's all you deserve.
You wonder, sometimes, if your former coworkers are curious about what you've done with your life. None of them have ever called you, or emailed you. You thought they were your friends, too, but you guess not. Do they think your a murderer? Is that all they consider you as? Do they even mention you to one another anymore?
You still live in DC, but not in the same house - you couldn't live there after being shot, and anyway, you couldn't afford it without a steady income. You live in an apartment now. It's small. If someone were in your house, you'd know right away. So, maybe you're a little bit paranoid now.
You're also a little bit addicted.
To the BAU.
To your former team.
In the end, you just couldn't leave them.