A.N.- This is a plot heavy fic, so if you just want LizzyxFred fluff then this isn't for you*. I have no beta, (not through want of asking) so please forgive, but by all means point out, any mistakes. If you could review that'd be great.
****SPOILER****Fred and Lizzy will be a couple eventually in this fic. So please be patient.
Mickey really felt bad.
He loved Lizzy; he really did. She was smart and sweet and very beautiful. Unlike a few months back when she seemed a little...restrained (he assumed her ex-husband had a lot to do with that, but they never talked about Charles now) she now was very much like the girl he knew all those years ago. However, there was something missing. The thing that first entranced Mickey about Lizzy was a slightly crazy wildness she had; she was like a wild horse, beautiful, majestic and a little dangerous.
One of his fondest memories of his adult years (secondary to all his memories of his daughter, of course) was the date they went on. Lizzy had gone and thrown stuff all over the place. It was dumb and pretty dangerous, but at the same time so wild and free. And, unlike when they were kids and he had just watched her in awe, this time, he could join in! He had the strength to finally join in! God, it had been so much fun, they got thrown out and banned, but heck, what did that matter?
After a few weeks of climbing up trees to rescue her, and helping her find a new apartment and job, Lizzy finally agreed that they could begin a sort of relationship that was further than friendship. Mickey had been ecstatic. Lizzy was introduced to Natalie and the two had developed a great bond.
That isn't to say there weren't difficulties. Natalie's mother originally hadn't been happy about Lizzy, and felt like she was being replaced. For the first few months it was like the dreaded Custody Battle they had fought after the divorce. Natalie's mom was always trying to keep Natalie at her house longer than what was allowed, and would constantly complain and bad mouth Lizzy (who she didn't even know) whilst Natalie was there. While he had been pretty disappointed with his ex's behaviour, he was really impressed by Natalie. His young daughter had often been quite an anxious creature, and the divorce of her parents had crushed her young spirit. But recently, just before he and Lizzy decided to try to become a couple, Natalie's feisty nature and resilience had really improved. She hadn't listened to her mother, but seemed to understand that her mother was hurt and angry. Hence, Lizzy and Natalie's relationship had not been compromised.
Then there was the fact that he wanted the relationship to progress more quickly, but Lizzy was happy to amble along. Mickey wanted Lizzy to move in with him; he couldn't understand why Lizzy wouldn't. She was definitely having money problems. The job she now had was as a part time administrator at a local nursery 'Little People's Haven' that was run by an elderly Welsh couple. Though they were kind enough, they didn't have the money or resources to take Lizzy on full-time, or to give her a pay rise. Lizzy didn't ever have quite enough money and having her own apartment, as small and unfurnished as it was, was eating up the majority of her pay. Then, including electric, gas, tax and her TV licence bills (she hadn't enough for an internet connection) she barely had enough to eat. However if she moved in with him and Natalie he could combine his (far more substantial) income with hers, and they could get along nicely. However she would have none of it. She kept saying that she valued her independence too much, and just wanted to be alone for a while, just to see if she could do it. Mickey was no misogynist, and he totally agreed with everything involving 'girl power.' But to him, her moving in was a) practical and b) a sign that she loved him.
But she just wouldn't play ball.
However, even though this made him feel kinda sad, he didn't feel bad about it. No, rather, he began feeling bad some months afterwards. Mickey pushed for them to be together, he spent a lot of time with Lizzy, as much as he could. Inevitably, they got closer emotionally. However, it wasn't quite the relationship he had expected.
After leaving their neighbourhood as a child, Mickey had been distraught at the thought of never seeing Lizzy again. As he feared, his life which had once been so full of vibrant colour faded into a black and white world with only shades serving as variety. Life became boring and Mickey was boring with it. He got older, went to school, did his homework. He grew up and got a job. He had a girlfriend who he started dating in his first year of college. They got married after graduation. He had a kid and they all settled down. It was all so standard and boring. All the while, Mickey would dream of Crazy Lizzy and all the exciting things she would be doing, He imagined her being the kind that attracted loads of boys, that would go on to travel around the world, get some really cool job. Basically, live a life less ordinary.
The divorce was actually the first step to setting himself free. Most people hated the idea of divorce, but Mickey really did it would be the making of him and Joanne. Joanne, his wife, did not. The divorce left her angry and resentful; she really had wanted it to work. But Mickey knew it wouldn't. They had gotten together too young. She had been his only girlfriend, so he had experienced nothing else. And they were far too different. Joanne was an ex-debutante, the daughter of a Mayor and a Headmistress. Joanne herself went on to be a college professor in history and it showed. Her long red hair would be coiled up in a lavish, intricate bun, her thin lips a deep red, her skin white from the lack of going outside and her thin body was often clad in a long pencil skirt and a button up shirt completed with a sensible, but classy, pair of high polished shoes. She was in every sense a young, sensible professional, a yuppie, a working mom, a modern day super woman.
When she had finally agreed to a divorce she had screamed at him that she would 'give him time to get over his stupid mid-life crisis, even if it was at the detriment of their daughter.' But Mickey knew it wasn't a mid-life crisis. When he decided that he needed a divorce, he had been sitting alone in what had been their kitchen. Natalie was tucked up in bed and Joanne was missing, doing a late shift at work as usual. Mickey was feeling kind of neglected. But worse still, meditating on their relationship, Mickey found that he wasn't pining for her company. He actually preferred his friends or work mates, but even her company would do because he was so lonely. He realised that he hadn't loved her for years, and possibly never had. Maybe what got them together originally was little more than a crush (he had always loved powerful, driven and passionate women) and maybe they stayed together because that had been the 'right thing to do.' Maybe their relationship was nothing more than habit.
Then looking to his future, Mickey saw before him endless weekends of cleaning the car out, of vicious whispered arguments over his wife never cooking and always staying out late, of excruciating dinner parties with people they didn't like but felt compelled to impress, of Christmases spent with the in-laws who were never happy with their daughter marrying someone so inferior. Mickey would always be grateful for the blessing that was his daughter, but he just couldn't stand it anymore. Looking around, their pretty little house in their pretty little cul-de-sac in their pretty little suburb suddenly felt like a prison. The ring on his finger suddenly seemed like a constant smirking reminder of his entrapment. His wife was a stranger he was increasingly beginning to resent, his life was the equivalent of a drawn out, miserable ache and his daughter wasn't enough to base all his happiness on.
The thought of Lizzy and her wild freedom returned and he made his decision. He would be like Lizzy, he would throw caution to the wind and for the first time in over twenty years he would finally live.
Of course, when Lizzy came back into his life he had seen it as a sign from the Powers That Be. And it had been awesome. Everything was new and interesting and exciting. Lizzy was nothing like Joanne, she was polite and awkward, she was small, with big doe-like eyes, her short bob and her childish clothes. He never felt intimidated by her but he was still awed by her beauty and charm. He never felt stupid around her or like he wasn't good enough, even when she had been fighting so hard to get Charles back.
However, as the months of dating wore on, Mickey began to realise that while she wasn't Joanne, she wasn't his idealised version of Lizzy either. As said before, one of his fondest memories was their date at the restaurant. What Mickey hadn't realised until recently was that Lizzy had not enjoyed that date. On the contrary, she had been mortified. All her crazy antics were not her own, she had insisted in later conversations, but Fred's.
Lizzy was good with Natalie. They got on well, but their relationship was that of a favourite aunt and niece, not of sisters or friends. Lizzy was, in every aspect an adult; she was level-headed, she had real problems like bills and her appearance. As these real life ordinary issues came to light, Mickey told himself that it didn't matter. He had been idealising her for twenty odd years, of course she couldn't live up to his standards.
But it was worse than that. Mickey felt that they were not in a real relationship. They never really argued or got passionate. It was all very...tame. They just ambled along together, like two friendly acquaintances, too unfamiliar to actually fight or argue like a normal couple, but familiar enough to feel too embarrassed to simply stop calling one another so often.
A year after meeting her and them deciding to give the relationship a go; after pushing and pushing for the relationship to be more serious'; after introducing Natalie to Lizzy; after upsetting Joanne, Mickey was horrified to find that he did not want to be in a relationship with Lizzy anymore.
xxXXxx
Janey and Lizzy sat sipping coffee in a swanky new Coffee Shop just off Main Street.
"So, how are things with Natalie's mom? What was her name, Jodie?" Janey queried, peering at her mousy friend.
"Oh, erm, well things are a little better," Lizzy replied anxiously. She pulled at the bottom of her shirt and took in a deep breath. "And I'm sure thing will get better. And it's Joanne. Natalie's mom is called Joanne." She flicked back her hair and beamed happily. Janey returned it, pleased her long-term friend was recovering well from her trauma with her ex-husband and mother.
"So she isn't whispering in her little girl's ear anymore? No more stories about the mean raven-haired witch who stole daddy?"
"No," Lizzy said laughing a little, though it really wasn't funny. Joanne had actually told her daughter a bedtime story involving those aspects. It was sad really, the first time Natalie got a story from her mom and it was nothing more than a cheap shot at Lizzy. "But you know Natalie never really fell for it any way."
"I know. She's a sharp kid." Janey remembered back to the first time and so far only time she met Natalie. She had never met Mickey, but she had met up with Lizzy one day and saw the blonde haired kid hiding behind Lizzy's legs. Lizzy explained that Mickey had to go to work for an urgent meeting, and she was babysitting.
Natalie was an odd child, that was for sure, but Janey was odd, and so was Lizzy, so to Janey being odd wasn't a bad thing. It was just another aspect of someone's character, like having red hair or green eyes. The little girl had often seemed to be in a world of her own; excitedly talking to someone she could not see. She and her invisible pal mostly kept out of the women's way, but they could hear excited shrieking and footsteps up stairs. When they decided to go check on her, they saw most of the landing was in disarray. Natalie was safe however, red cheeked, out of breath and very happy. The mess was nothing that couldn't be tidied away, and Lizzy didn't want to tell off Natalie, she said that if anyone caused the mess, it was Fred. And Janey accepted that. However, Natalie had never confirmed it was Fred who she played with. She refused to tell any of the adults her friend's name.
"Fred helped her I think," Lizzy said bringing Janey out of her thoughts.
"Yeah I was just thinking of him." She replied. "So do you still see him, or get glimpses of him?"
"No, he just plays with Natalie."
Janey detected a slight wistful note in Lizzy's voice, "hey," she warned, making Lizzy look at her with wide eyes. "Don't forget all the trouble he caused! Fred is clearly designed to keep small children happy but put him in the real world with adults and..." Unable to articulate her thoughts into words, Janey flayed her arms around a little, a physical description of the chaos Fred managed to cause.
"Oh, I know," Lizzy replied quickly. "Gosh I remember all that craziness with the boat, I'm sorry Janey, and the doctors and the restaurant. Boy oh boy, it was too much for me, you know?"
"Well, everything did turn out alright. I mean the boat situation went well despite the temporary homelessness and Mickey had fun in the restaurant."
Lizzy rolled her eyes, "I think Fred is a bad example on Mickey. The other day, Natalie went next door pulled up all of Mr. Grangers flowers and then threw them at him windows! The poor guy, he had spent months working on them. Natalie said that 'her friend' had said that evil things were in the house and that the flowers were play pretend bombs." Lizzy didn't mention that Natalie never said 'evil things' but 'an evil old wanker' instead. "Really, she should have been told off. I mean, c'mon Janey, she can't grow up thinking you can annihilate people's gardens. And what if there were rocks or stones in the mud? She could have smashed a window. Anyway, when Mickey found out, he just laughed and changed the subject." Lizzy shook her head and sat back. "Her mom is too strict and never allows her to do anything, but I swear Mickey is too easy going, it's as if...as if..." She blushed and trailed off.
Janey knew she needed to carry on, "as if what honey? Tell me."
Lizzy looked to the side guiltily before leaning in. "It's as if," she whispered, as though Mickey was hiding in the small bush behind them, "it's as if he doesn't really care about the kind of person she's going to grow up to be. I want her free and happy, but I don't want her to be too much like Fred."
"Wild and out of control?"
"Exactly.
Janey observed Lizzy closely for a moment. Being a good friend is a hard thing to do. Being a good friend means sometimes telling someone things that might hurt them. And when you are friends with someone as emotionally fragile as Lizzy, it was tough to know when to say something and when to hold back. In any case, Fred had, to a degree, Janey's sympathy.
"What is it Janey, you're giving me that look?"
"'That' look?" Janey raised her eyebrows in playful innocence making Lizzy grin. "Yeah, that psychiatrist-come-slightly-disapproving-Vicar look. What do you want to say?"
Janey sighed and leaned forward being careful with her mug of coffee. "Lizzy, do you think you are basing Natalie and her situation too closely to your own childhood? Natalie has a lot of things in common with your five-year-old self, but her situation isn't the same."
Lizzy was silent, but eyeing Janey cautiously.
"What I mean is," Lizzy's friend continued patiently, "is that maybe you are basing Mickey on your own father. Your dad, as kind as he was, ultimately let you down." Janey shrugged and leaned back. "The men you have gone for before Mickey have always been stern, macho men who treated you like dirt. But then Mickey is different, he's kind and soft, like your dad. Maybe you're worried that, unlike Charles for all his faults, Mickey will be as laissez-faire as your own father. You aren't worrying about your own abandonment anymore, but you are projecting all your old anxieties on Natalie and Mickey."
"Well," replied Lizzy slowly, as if mulling over each word carefully. "If I am what can I do? And why would I be concerned about Fred's influence also? He was my saviour as a child."
"Therapy, Lizzy , that's what you can do. Oh don't give me that look! It's alright, lots of people have therapy nowadays and it isn't going to end with you being locked up in your old bedroom again, honestly!" After rolling her eyes, Lizzy fixed Janey with an unconvinced stare before sipping her coffee. She hated arguing with people and was more the passive-aggressive type.
Janey continued, "if you get therapy, it gives you someone to talk to, to reason out your problems with. It'll be like when you worked out your issues with Fred's help, only this won't be destructive in the process." She sipped her coffee before continuing calmly, "besides you are worried about Fred and his influence on Natalie. Which is reasonable," Janey remembered back to when she saw her friend sopping wet, her hair half cut off and her admission that the house boat had sunk. Yep, it definitely reasonable to be wary of Fred... "he was a help when you were a child, but it didn't help things between your parents. It wasn't a cause, I know, your parents were a mess before he arrived-"
"They were the reason he came in the first place."
"Yeah, I know. But what I'm saying is Fred didn't help. So as an adult, you worry about him." Janey shrugged. It was difficult keeping up with Lizzy about Fred. If she criticised Fred, Lizzy would leap to his defence. If she ever said anything positive about Fred, Lizzy would grumble about all the madness he caused. Janey knew this was because Lizzy didn't know how she felt about him herself; Janey was sure, with all the knowing of her amateur psychology, this was all to do with Lizzy's ambiguous relationship with her parents."You're afraid that you and Mickey will repeat your own parent's mistakes, and that Natalie will suffer."
As Lizzy's shoulders slumped and her eyes looked miserably down at her cooling coffee, Janey patted her hand in a grandmother fashion.
"Therapy, Lizzy."
xxXXxx
Running on bright pink clouds, Fred and the others began laughing hysterically. This was a very serious situation, yet they just couldn't help it. It was in their nature. Anything serious got laughed at. And so did anything funny. Well, basically anything was funny to them- even possible death.
And right now death wasn't just a possibility. It was likely. Which is why they were running as well as laughing.
Ah, running.
Fred loved running. Whoooo! Faster, faster, faster! It was like running was the physical re-enactment of what his brain was going through on a constant basis. He hardly ever slept, or ate, or rested, or stayed still. His mind whooshed along all the time. Everything was colours and lights and noise and fun! Fred loved the Kids of course, but it was so nice to be able to move without worrying about a small human child he was leaving behind (or unintentionally injuring them by running them over.) Yep running, the wind in his hair and face, the whirl of colours around him, the deadly creatures on his trail... ah...running!
He and his team mates spread out, causing angry screeches of giant deadly birds behind them. Leaping off the clouds Fred hit the ground running. The landscape looked like the place every children's TV character seemed to live; pink, fluffy clouds contrasted horribly against a perfect blue sky, lush green rolling hills covered in flowers which were lollipops and short grass, and the occasional yellow path, which Fred ignored. The ground was soft, a little like a bouncy castle. Fred resisted the temptation to gambol down the hill. He definitely would be caught and killed if he did that. Stifling a giggle and trying not to be afraid he hurled himself forward whilst simultaneously beginning to Fade. It was the first time he ever tried Fading whilst still moving. It had never occurred to him to try it before. But then, his life was on the line here. While Fred hated the idea of dying and was a coward as a result, he did admit that being threatened with death had managed (amazingly) to improve his already impressive creativity. First time for everything eh? Fade...fade...c'mon Fred...fade...
His hair brushed forward as giant wings beat the air behind him...ah they were catching up. The thing squawked, its proximity so close that the loud screech nearly made him fall over in shock and pain. Just a bit further, just a bit further and he would be safe...
Fade...fade...
Green light flecked with glitter began to glow around him, clouding his vision.
Fade...fade...
Natalie was sitting calmly in the back garden when Fred suddenly came running out of nowhere and went flying straight into the garden hedge.
"Fred!" She called happily. His legs, the only thing showing as the rest of him was submerged in leaves and branches, flailed about a little (much to her amusement) before Fred finally righted himself, turned, grinned and ran up to her. She held her arms out for a hug, but of course, he didn't hug her, he just knelt down by her side and said, "alright Nit-face?"
Natalie, like many small children, seldom said anything, but related her thoughts more often in her expression. She stared at Fred, analysing his face, before smiling gleefully. He returned the grin and, a little smugly, tapped a pocket on his childlike dungarees. Natalie's imagination had changed Fred's outfit ever so slightly from when he had belonged to Lizzy. He still looked like an adult in a child's clothing though. "I have a gift for you," he announced. He watched Natalie smile and jump a little in excitement before pulling out a long silver necklace complete with an emerald jewel. Natalie stared at it in amazement. It was like something a grown up would wear! She pointed at herself anxiously.
"Yep, it's for you," Fred nodded emphatically, before placing the necklace over her head. "However," he leaned close to her conspiratorially, she leaned towards him, placing her ear near his mouth, "you must keep it a secret!" She nodded. "I don't want anyone to steal it from you. But if someone does get it, you must say, "Drop Dead Fred gave it to me. It's just a present!" Can you do that?"
"Drop Dead Fred gave it to me," She repeated, following his mouthing closely, "It's just a present."
Blessing her with a rub on the head and telling her she wasn't at all bad considering she was female, the pair ran off to play hide and seek. After twenty minutes, Fred completely forgot that he gave her anything at all. Such was his fragmented, childlike mind. He'd remember, when he really had to.
There is a place that is both far away and very close to you. It is where all the Other live. And the place is called Elsewhere. Elsewhere was split into two places. One was ruled by the Ljósálfar. It was bright and colourful and the souls of dead children liked to rest there. The elves and fairies used it as their abode.
The other was ruled by the Dökkálfar and this place was the opposite. It was dark and cold and plain. No souls or spirits went there is they could help it.
Some would say it was heaven and Hell. Or Elysium and Hades. Or Asgard and Ginungagap. In this dark place, something deep within its bowels began to stir.
It was waking up. It was hungry and angry.
Slowly it began to uncoil itself, becoming self aware. Around it its small minions also began to rouse themselves. Their Queen was awakening. And she was hungry. Hungry and angry.