Chapter 1: Family
Azula had failed. Now she couldn't hide, couldn't run, couldn't move. She watched, helpless, as the black dragon with golden eyes reached a cruel claw to her shoulder, piercing and crushing. She woke with a start, heart racing.
Her entire body ached. Her arms were raw and bruised where shackles bound them together. Her legs, back, and head throbbed in time with her rapid pulse. She was lying on something cold and hard, cushioned only by thin cloth.
Where am I?
There's nothing to be scared of here, she thought, not quite believing herself as she opened her eyes. A cavern's ceiling rose high above, torchlight dancing mockingly on the stalactites; a sheer wall penned her in on the left. Trying to struggle out from her bedroll sent fresh pain through her arms, and her shackles seemed tighter by the second.
Azula screamed as she let out a pulse of flame from her hands, burning the cloth away. Smoke and ash swirled around her eyes and nose, but she ignored the sensation disdainfully. She forced herself to take a deep breath instead of rapid light ones. And again. And again.
The walls stopped closing in; her shackles loosened, and her heartbeat slowed.
I will escape; no cell can hold me indefinitely.
She stood awkwardly, and took a good look around the maddeningly silent cavern. The sixteen metal pillars lit with torches, the opulent throne upon a square stone dais, and the solid brass doors fifty feet away told her location: the eclipse bunker.
All right. Now, before you get out, how did you end up here? What happened?
I… lost control. Almost completely.
She tensed, exhaling sharply.
And it let some pathetic waterbending peasant… beat me. With the comet in the sky.
Think rationally. Analyze your actions and emotions as though you were a different person. Why did you lose control?
I don't know. Maybe… I was just weak.
You are the strongest firebender in history. You had near perfect control of your emotions. You mastered lightning at age fourteen, and still retained it at your most vulnerable moment. Why did you lose control?
I don't know.
Think about it. Pretend you were someone else. Distance yourself from the problem, then answer: Why did you lose control?
Fire hissed out from between clenched teeth.
Because everyone betrayed me.
Banish your emotions and THINK. Think about everyone you care about, why they betrayed you, and you will regain control.
She took another deep breath, then began to pull power from the air as if for a lightning strike, and allowed it to dissipate. A tattered remnant of a prideful smile appeared for an instant, before she turned her attention inwards.
Mai. My second friend. She worked with me for most of half a year, perfectly loyal. There was no indication of treachery before Zuko left. And she said it herself: her betrayal was a simple miscalculation. Note: love can be stronger than rationality under rare circumstances. Mai's betrayal was a footnote, the second in the chain, following predictably, if not logically, from the first, and was, ultimately, the least important. Zuko has too much affection for her to make revenge worthwhile, so I'll "forgive" her.
Ty Lee. The first person ever to choose to like me. The second-to-last betrayal, and of all of them, the least expected. Maybe she knew, somehow, that I wouldn't really hurt her. Much. So she used that to protect her other friend. I want to speak to her; maybe we can be friends again.
Ursa. My mother. Maybe she did love Zuko more. Maybe she did think I was a monster. Wishful thinking is dangerous, after all. And I need to be ready if that turns out to be true. But looking back, I may have simply misinterpreted her actions. Certainly it's a comforting assumption to work upon, and should help me until I'm in full control again. After solving the immediate problems, I need to find her. But I can't believe she would care for me until I do.
Zuko. My ungrateful brother. I've never seen someone so misguided. I need to talk to him immediately, before he messes everything up even more. His ridiculous sense of honor started the entire cascade.
Ozai. My father. My father who-
The torches in the room flared blue, streaming up to and along the ceiling, then settled back to their normal color and height.
-whom I'm not ready to think about, yet.
She rose from the lotus position and decided upon a course of action.
She walked to the door, knocking to get the attention of the guard she knew would be present.
"Yes?"
Hmm, kind, female voice. Iroh's guard, if I'm not mistaken. Best to feign kindness, especially given present circumstances. Now, what exact words will get him to come here alone… this one is quite simple.
"I have a message for my brother. Tell him I want to talk to him."
"Please," she added after a brief pause.
"I will," Ming replied.
Zuko will arrive soon. I need to set the tone of our meeting. It can't simply be one of him visiting a prisoner. And this cell can't hold me.
She regarded her shackles. The ones used to bind her during the comet were still on, made of crude iron. The other two sets were good steel. She summoned blue fire around her hands and forearms, carefully bending the heat away from her skin as her flames began to melt the metal. The iron shackles melted first, and she used the new freedom of motion to direct two of her fingers at the steel chains, melting through them with a more precise jet of fire. With full freedom of motion, she then melted through the part of the shackles actually touching her.
Then, turning to the door, she sat down, pointing both her feet at the center, leaned back on her hands, and extended her legs, letting out a compact blast of fire. It hit the door with a muffled thump. She got up, and examined the point of impact, and saw a barely noticeable dent.
She tried an arc, from her left hand, across the door horizontally, focusing on cutting. A thin line, about a third of an inch deep, was etched into the door. Looking at the rock around the door, however, she saw a much deeper cut.
Another arc from her left hand, followed immediately by a bolt from her right, cut much deeper into the steel and stone.
"You might want to stand back," she called to the guard.
Focusing on the frame, Azula set to work, firing blast after blast.
After perhaps a hundred cutting arcs and twenty concussive blasts, Azula breathed heavily but steadily, confident the door would fold to one final effort. She gathered the power she'd need, crafting a bright blue ball of flame and force, and then waited, listening.
A few minutes later, she heard the steady clicking of steel boots on stone ground; Zuko had arrived.
As if to confirm it, Ming said, "You probably don't want to go in there. She's out of her shackles, and there's been a lot of noise. I'd talk to her through the door."
Too late.
Azula released her concentrated will upon the great brass doors, and they flew outward, last pieces of the frame disintegrating into obscuring dust.
Zuko dived out of the way, but he was still recovering from his duel, and a metal corner clipped his leg, sending him sprawling.
Ming had evaded both the doors. Her wide eyes and pale face conveyed a satisfying terror, but duty compelled her forward, attacking.
Azula rolled out of the way of Ming's pathetic fire blast, sending a small bolt of lightning into her guard's leg. Ming crumpled to the floor, and she turned her attention to her brother, who hadn't finished standing.
She pointed two of her fingers at him, not attacking. He froze. She waited.
He coughed from the dust, then recovered his breath and shouted, "I came here to help you! Why did you kill her? What possible reason could you have to electrocute her?"
"I didn't electrocute her, she's still breathing," Azula replied. "Check if you want. I didn't want her calling in reinforcements or hearing any sensitive information. Now, why don't you come in, Zuko?" she said, leaving her threat implied.
He rose and entered cautiously.
"So, could you explain why I am in prison?"
"Do I even need to?"
"Yes. If you've arrested me for loyalty to my father, you would have to arrest the vast majority of our military forces." She sat upon the throne.
"Do you really want me to go over the reasons?" Zuko asked as he calmly walked toward her.
"Yes."
"You enjoy the suffering of others."
"And? You don't arrest people for how they feel; you arrest them for how they act. What exactly have I done?" the princess replied.
"You were a terrible child. You tormented animals, your friends, and me," Zuko said as he sat down, facing her.
"You can't honestly be holding that against me. As you said, I was a child. I didn't have anywhere near the control I do now."
"Maybe, taunting me that dad was going to kill me? Other things were understandable, but how is that anything but calculated cruelty?"
"The part where I warned you of a possible assassination while maintaining deniability with my father?" Azula said, maintaining an indifferent expression as she looked down from her throne.
"How was I supposed to use… anyway, you smirked when Father burned my face and banished me!"
"I smirked because, in that moment, I was certain that Father would pass on the throne to me. And besides, you weren't seriously damaged," she replied coldly.
"Fine. I've gathered information about you, and there's still plenty of evil. What you did to general Sako, for example."
"He was a rebel. I was tasked by my father to crush his rebellion. And I did, with minimal casualties on both sides."
"That's certainly the clean, comfortable way to look at it, Azula. Why don't you describe how you did it?" Zuko rose, glaring.
"It's fairly simple, really. Sako was the governor of our third largest island. He decided to try to gain autonomy when our domestic forces were depleted, thanks to Zhao's campaign in the north. Both major cities on his island were terrorized by his forces. Inefficiently, I might add,"
"Because cruelty needs to be efficient, I suppose," Zuko said acidly.
"Precisely."
"Continue," Zuko said, his eyes narrowed.
"First, I used my authority as princess to request twenty-five Yu Yan archers. Then, using their skills, and building my tactics around them, I won the battle against Sako's army, but some of them, including the general himself, escaped to his fortress. During the battle, I made sure to issue loud, stupid orders that wouldn't actually have a major effect on the battle. I made sure to appear to his scouts, and spies to be everything Sako would hope for in a green royal commander: spoiled, weak, overconfident, and none too bright. This opinion was further enforced by two double agents I managed to turn to my side. These agents took special care to work in how disastrously my firebending lessons were coming along.
"After the battle, my army besieged his fortress. He was severely outnumbered, and his supplies were dwindling. So I offered to meet with him, both of us accompanied by our respective military advisors. I mostly let my advisors lay out reasonable terms, which he kept refusing. Then, I interrupted, challenging him to a public Agni Kai, the stakes of which were the unconditional surrender of the losing side. He accepted. Our advisors made the necessary arrangements so the result would be binding. He was probably slightly less competent than Zhao. I killed him. Horribly," Azula finished.
"No, you don't get to leave the details out. Describe what you did, then tell me how you feel about it," Zuko demanded.
Why would details matter? Does he expect regret? Or remorse? From me?
"The duel began, we turned to face each other and I started walking towards him, deflecting each of his blasts. He began to panic. When I was about six feet away I fired two precise bursts at his shoulders, cutting the tendons. His arms went limp, and I did the same to his knees. He fell, now barely able to flop his limbs. I walked over and kicked him onto his back. I pinned him down, spent a couple minutes heating random bones, then I started slowly burning his left leg with a small disk of flame that began at the bottom of the foot, moving slowly up. He screamed, and begged for mercy. I took the opportunity to make a speech about the consequences of rebellion. After his left leg was gone, I let him blubber for a minute, then incinerated his right leg, all at once. He screamed louder." She paused, noticing that Zuko looked vaguely nauseous. She waited impatiently for his weakness to fade, and continued,
"I set to work on his arms. I had severed the nerves of the right one, unfortunately, but the left still had feeling. I burned his skin, then picked it off with my nails, doing the same to his flesh, until his arm was just bone. He was hoarse by this point, and had moved on to begging for a quick death. I placed my hands on his chest, and sent a tiny bit of lightning though him, not enough to kill. This got the loudest scream yet. After a few minutes of that, I moved on to his face. I slowly heated the water in his eyes until they were boiling, and exploded. I popped his eardrums, then melted his teeth. He was incoherent by then, just saying "please" over and over. I took another minute with low-power lightning, stood up, and sent a blast of fire through his head, killing him." Her voice never wavered.
"How…?"
"Did I keep him from bleeding to death? I tied off his limbs before working on them, and cauterized the wounds."
"How can you think – how can you possibly believe that was justified?" Zuko asked, walking toward her. "No one deserves that," he added quietly.
"Results. In previous rebellions, we tended to end with negotiation, leaving the leader, and often the inciter, banished or stripped of nobility, but still relatively unharmed. Nobles are more likely to rebel if they always have a way out. I simply demonstrated that they could no longer rely on such a thing, that they would receive no mercy. We haven't had so much as a rumor of rebellion since, though that's certainly going to change with you on the throne. Besides, he had used similar tactics to maintain control of his island, and had no family to speak of," Azula said.
"So no one would miss him badly enough to exact revenge, or even complain too loudly." Zuko's voice was bitter.
"Precisely. Two strong reasons why I chose him. I should also point out that there was a noticeable decline in corruption afterwards."
Zuko's eyes narrowed, and his lips drew back in hostile distaste. "You still haven't said how you feel about this. Don't you at least regret the 'necessity?' Did you enjoy it?" He spat the questions.
"No, I don't regret what I did to him. I would do it again, should similar circumstances arise. Yes, I did enjoy it, but that isn't relevant to my decisions, past or present." Azula's voice had no emotion in it.
"You mentioned other reasons?"
"Yes. A number of small reasons, and two big ones," Zuko replied, beginning to pace around the throne.
"Let us get the distractions out of the way, then."
"You lied to Iroh and me to take us prisoner."
"I had been instructed to do so. That deception was the best way to do it, minimizing risk to me, you, uncle, and my crew," she said. "And thank you for not bringing in my mid-battle taunts."
"You endangered Mai's baby brother, right in front of her, and were cruel to her father," Zuko said.
"Thomas was in no danger from the Avatar's group. That much was obvious to me. And I was in fact quite merciful to her father. Ordinarily a blunder such as letting thousands of rebels leave, many of them earthbenders, would result in banishment, or at least getting stripped of nobility. I let him off with a warning, as a personal favor to Mai," Azula replied.
"When it was just you, me, and Aang, you attacked me first."
"You were a distraction. Besides, I wasn't going to hurt you very much, just prevent your interference."
"You pretended to surrender, then shot Uncle!"
"I didn't surrender, technically. My words were I know when I'm beaten. You've got me. A princess surrenders with honor. You did 'have' me, at a disadvantage, and I could reasonably expect better odds in the future, given that Mai and Ty Lee weren't with me and you and Iroh don't usually help the Avatar's group. And a princess does surrender with honor. But I didn't surrender," Azula said with a slight smirk.
Zuko glared, silently demanding further explanation.
"Fine. Do you remember where I shot him?"
"In the shoulder; it took him weeks to heal."
"Do you remember when I was 9 years old? I could shoot an apple off someone's head. Did you think my skills had declined during the next five years?"
"No."
"And clearly, Iroh was taken by surprise and was unable to defend himself at that particular instant. So what conclusion do you draw?" she asked.
"You didn't want Uncle dead."
"Thank you. Little as I care for him, he is family. Which is also why I didn't have him executed after helping the Avatar escape."
"You ambushed me and Iroh in Ba Sing Se."
"No. I wanted to talk, to have you on my side for the coup. If it had been an ambush, I would hardly have the Dai Li walk slowly and obviously into the room, nor would I be talking. Iroh attacked my agents, and I retaliated," the princess countered.
"You set me up so Father would be disappointed in me again!"
No. There was no way he really believed… no, that expression and tone were those of true belief and pain.
"You are truly frustrating, Zuzu," She said, coldly mocking him.
"Don't call me that!" Zuko shouted, entering her field of view again.
"I'll try to reserve it for when you're being really stupid. If I had wanted Father to think less of you, I would have gone with the truth: you were merely helpful, at best, to my conquest. Or, I could have lied and said you hadn't helped at all, or imprisoned you, or both. I went out of the way to downplay my own achievement so that I give you what you wanted," Azula said, anger showing for the first time in the conversation, as she rose and stepped toward her brother.
"But you said the only way we'd win was together. And I saved you from Katara!" Zuko didn't back away.
"Only technically true: the only way we win was together. I, however, was perfectly capable of victory without your help. As for the fight, they were never going to defeat me before the Dai Li arrived. And when you were most helpful, when I was fighting Katara, the waterbender was out of tentacles, but I still had two free limbs, including my left arm," Azula turned away, and seated herself again.
A brief pause, then Zuko resumed the attack.
"You tried to stop me from seeing Iroh."
"For your own good. You said you wanted Father's acceptance more than anything. So I warned you that continuing to see uncle may have negative consequences for you. In fact, I was nothing but straightforward and helpful to you from the moment we took Ba Sing Se to the moment you left!" Azula said, glaring from her throne.
"Not true. You deliberately made me think that you were setting me up for disgrace. You were disrespectful to me on our vacation, you teased me about…"
"Be quiet! You lied to me about a critical matter of national security, and you have the gall to try to make me feel guilty for making you feel bad about it? And really, teasing? You can handle it. And you think I was mean on our vacation? I said to lighten up and have fun, I had fun, and I came to you at our house when you were feeling depressed and alone," Azula interrupted.
"A lot of that fun was at the expense of others," Zuko replied calmly.
"Oh, boo hoo, I might have ruined some peoples days," said Azula, coldly. "If I make mistakes or allow my control to slip when I'm not on vacation, I ruin lives. And," her face twisted, "I'm not perfect." Her face returned to normal. "So now, let me hear the real reasons," she said
"You tried to kill me, multiple times."
"I only tried to kill you when there was absolutely no other option. If I had been trying, at almost any point, you wouldn't be talking to me now." Though her voice was steady, the torch flames flared blue, and grew in height.
"Nonsense. The first time we fought after Father banished me, you were charging lightning, and Iroh saved me," Zuko said, indignantly.
"Lightning isn't always lethal, as I just demonstrated. If I'd wanted you dead in that fight, do you really think I would scratch your head, rather than send an arc of fire through your brain? Or wouldn't simply shoot the bolt that knocked you down through your heart?" Azula replied.
"Fine," Zuko replied irritably, "But you still attacked me instead of the Avatar when the three of us met."
"I was trying to take the weaker combatant out of the fight. Again, I was specifically avoiding killing you, or I would have done away with you one of the many times I knocked you to the ground. As for our other battles, we have your escape from Boiling Rock, where, if I wanted you dead, I would simply have melted the cable, and our skirmish on top of the blimps, where I actually was trying to kill you after a warning shot, and only your friends saved you."
"What warning shot? And there, you just admitted you did want me dead,"
"What warning shot? I hit you multiple times. Slightly more force and you'd have fallen. And yes, after you showed you weren't going to surrender after fair warning, and had clearly followed through with your treasonous plan to assist the Avatar in killing Ozai, yes, I tried to kill you," she ground out.
"Four days ago, we fought our duel. There's no way you weren't trying to kill me then."
"It is true that if you hadn't blocked any one of my attacks, it would have been lethal for you, but that applies to your blasts as well. But honestly, Zuzu, I shot you with lightning, with Sozin's Comet in the sky, and you aren't dead. That should tell you I never wanted you gone," Azula spat, rising again, her voice increasing in volume.
"It only wasn't fatal because I was partially redirecting it," Zuko replied, stepping toward her.
"Even if you believe that delusion, you were on the ground, unable to move, and there was no way the waterbender could block any attack I made against you. Even if you think it slipped my mind, I have the perfect opportunity to dispose of you right now if I so choose," She continued, casually pointing toward him with her left index and middle fingers. "I… never… wanted… you… dead," she finished.
Zuko stepped back. "Fine," he said, throwing his hands up, "you didn't want me gone, but you still advocated for the extermination of the Earth Kingdom. Countless innocent lives, for your own power."
"Really? That's news to me." Her voice oozed condescension.
"I was perfectly clear," Zuko said, striding up to his sister.
"Did the plan change significantly while I was home?" Azula asked, stepping forward, putting her face centimeters away from Zuko's. "Because extermination was not in the plan last time I heard. Let me see if this sounds familiar. The airship fleet is all together and flies toward uninhabited coastline. It advances toward Ba Sing Se, leaving behind a very visible, long-lasting demonstration of our power behind it. Then, untouchable, we give the citizens of the city a show. Because that's the plan as I made it: a publicity stunt, to destroy the earthbender rebels' hope."
"But… that isn't… at Ozai's coronation you said you wanted to burn everything to the ground,"
At the words Ozai's coronation, the torch flames again reached the ceiling, and Azula's face twisted in anger. Zuko stepped back.
"Yes, everything directly between the fleet's starting point and the outer walls," she said, icy.
"And, aside from all that, you need me," she said, settling back into the throne, and smirking.
"How so?"
"You want peace in the world. Maintaining it, even under the best of circumstances, will be extraordinarily difficult. The Earth Kingdom isn't terribly united under the best of circumstances. After a war of this magnitude, renegade warlords and common bandits will run rampant. And that's leaving aside the many problems of negotiating with the new earth government you'll need to install. My point in all of this is you need, at very least, unquestioned control of the Fire Nation." She stood, calming watching her impassive brother, and continued,
"Without me, you won't have it, even supported by the Avatar. Four ninths of the military was loyal to Ozai personally, and believed in his philosophies of strength. Two ninths were loyal to the position of Fire Lord, and the remaining third is mine. With me publicly supporting your regime, you'll face minimal dissention and rebellion. With me publicly opposing it, and personally leading the rebellion against you, the nation will fall apart." Her smirk had not left her face.
"What are your terms?"
"Personal freedom, obviously, and retention of my rank and titles. I am also to be kept informed of all negotiations with the other nations, and would have the authority to perform such negotiations myself."
"So you would have as much power as me," Zuko said, eyes narrowing.
"Yes. We'd share power, though you would retain absolute sovereignty in theory. In practice, however, we would need to agree to do anything important. Oh, don't look so glum, Zuko. I want the same thing you do, now. Peace and stability."
"Why do I find that hard to believe? Oh right, you tried to take over the world, with Father," Zuko said, eyes narrowing.
"Well, you should believe me, Zuko. You and the Avatar both oppose me. I can't take your position without civil war, due to how obvious a power grab that would be, and the Avatar would still stand in my way. So I can't reasonably fulfill that plan. Given that, why would I not want peace and prosperity?" She said sweetly.
Zuko adopted the look he usually got when he recalled his uncle's advice. He shook his head once, sharply, as though dismissing it. He looked into Azula's eyes.
"Fine. I accept your terms. Just one more thing: how do I know you won't lose control again?" Zuko asked, softly.
Azula closed her eyes and sat down. A full five seconds later, she reopened them, looked away, and said "Because that was a result of unique circumstances. It can't happen again. I won't let it."
"Explain. Please, it will help."
Silence.
"Let me help you," Zuko implored.
Azula stood up, meeting his eyes, and Zuko saw a single tear contrasting with her angry expression. "Everyone I cared about betrayed me. First, you. After everything I did for you, after giving you everything you said you wanted at my own expense, you left to join the enemy of our nation. Then Mai, to protect you. Then Ty Lee, to protect her. But I held together, because I still had Father. My most important ally and mentor, whose affection for me and trust in me had never wavered. And then he left me, shunting me aside while he performed the most important publicity stunt in history. On the most important day of his reign, he didn't want me by his side. I told him he couldn't treat me like some tool, to be used and discarded, and he said he would reward my loyalty. He made me Fire Lord. And then proceeded to make that position meaningless."
Her voice cracked. She swallowed, then continued, "After I crushed Sako's rebellion for him, after impeccable service, after I had given him the greatest military victory in history, after I personally risked my life for him, he… he just…" She began to cry.
Zuko stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his little sister. Azula hugged him back.