This is a Fanfiction for FanFiction.net so if this appears anywhere else on the net then I'll track down the person
(or possibly penguin) who used my fic. This was written on the 19th May 2001. All ideas and stuff related to this
fic are (c) by me and MIB are (tm) by whoever thought them up. This story IS true, because how else would
penguins be in the South Pole and us in the Tropics etc.? This is:
Penguins: The Real Facts.

Have you ever been to your local zoo? Have you seen those vicious Tigers and fierce Lions? I'm about to write
one of the most horrifying story about the worst animal ever known to mankind. No, not Sharks, or even *shudder*
Spiders. I'm here to tell you people the truth about:

Penguins.

That's right, those black and white, water diving, Antarctic animals. They're evil I tell you. They will be human's
undoing. It's not the earth's plates that causes floods, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, but those sweet,
innocent, little penguins. The ones with the weird hairdos, we've all seen them. They are the leaders. Just look at
their name: Emperor Penguins. It's obvious that the penguins are about to unleash a horror only known to us as:
Doomsday, or the End Of The World. Have you noticed the news lately? Mt. Etna has erupted and there has been
floods in that place with all of the black people. (I forget what it's called :)) Well, you guessed right, it was them.
The Penguins. Their eyes are black and emotionless, cold like steel. You can never tell what a penguin is thinking,
unless you're a vampire. A vampire/vampirebat can look into a penguins mind and warn others about those little
vermin. But since 1,000 years ago, in the year 1001 the first Penguin attempt to kill off man kind was started. We
had just evolved into land animals. There were vampires then alright, more vampires then, than there are humans
today. The vampires are the Penguin's Mortal Enemies. (If you can get mortal vampires that is, but hey, this is
what I know!) We and the vampires teamed up against the pengins and forced them to leave the hot Tropics of
Florida, so we could build Euro Disney there in the near future. Those Penguins left in search of a new home,
Antartica. They stayed there in the North Pole (no kiddies, not to help out Santa, they'd probably eat him, he's
that full of fat.) until they tried to attack us for the first time. They then moved to the South Pole, since it was
closer to the sun at that time than the North Pole. We drove them away then, and we can do it again in the year
2001, between 11:00pm Saturday, to 2:00am on Sunday. That is this weekend. We have less than a week to warn
humans and vampires that the Penguins are coming. Less than a week as in five days. If they catch you then, do
NOT struggle, or they will lay you down and rip your heart out. If you do as they say, your life be spared, but warn
those whom you love dearly. If you don't, to put it bluntly, they will die. If you wake up on Sunday morning and
you are still alive, check you haven't got a pair of wings and a halo, then jump up and down in joy, because we
would have won! The MIB and the FBI are already alearting known vampires and aliens (yes, they do exist!) to
either evacuate, or get ready for a fight. If you do get caught and do not struggle, this is what will happen:
You will be taken by the arms and put into chains, along with thousands, maybe millions, of other children. Through
a giant crack on the surface of the earth, they will take you underground, deeper down until you can't see your
own hands in front of your face. (probably because they're chained to your back :)) There is a penguin behind you
hitting you with a whip. The adults are getting better treatment, because they are being fattened up to be eaten.
Along with many others, you will be dumped into the freezing sea. The Penguins start to talk to you, telling you
that you'd better like it here or tough luck, you're staying anyway. They tell you that they have come for revenge,
and that they will not rest until they are the ones living in the Tropics, not us. There are millions of children in the
water, and the scene reminds you of the 'Titanic', where those hundreds of people were killed by the cold. You find
your friends and you all huddle up close, trying to keep warm. Some other kids see you doing this and copy you,
desperate to keep warm. You see that there are newborns being thrown in as well as toddlers who can't swim.
When you plead to come out, the Penguin guards laugh and say that you'll 'soon adapt to life in freezing
tempretures'. You start to beg for your life and then you hear a hissing noise. You see a podium rising from the
platform you were thrown from. An Emperor Penguin steps up and addresses you all. He says that you will be let
ou the water if we spend a lifetime in the Antarctic, or as the slaves of Penguins. What do you choose? You say
that you will be a slave. They let you out of the water and you are given a Penguin family to serve. You spend the
rest of eternity in your old house, ironing and cleaning and serving penguins like a 'good little human'.

But this is very unlikely, as our vampires, aliens and secret organizations,[none1][none2] such as the FBI and the
MIB are here to protect us from such things. But just in case you do hear those Penguins on Saturday night, make
sure you buy a pair of fake fangs, and a machine gun, you never know what might be lurking around the next
corner...