The blade cut smoothly through his skin, and the veins beneath. Dark read blood first oozed, then flowed freely from the cut on his wrist. This was the only way of finding out, this was his last resort.

He felt nauseous, the blood represented the life that now slowly drained from his body. Perhaps this had not been such a good idea after all. He had not bled for long, but he was already starting to feel woozy from the loss.

A pang of fear shot through his heart suddenly. No, this was not the solution he thought it would be. His hands trembled, and started feeling numb as he tried to push himself out of the empty bathtub. He tried to call for help, but his voice pitched so high it was merely a shriek.

He babbled incoherently, even to himself as he finally managed to pull himself out of the tub. His legs felt like rubber, and couldn't support his weight. He clawed at the tiled floor of the bathroom, hardly managing to make progress. His head bobbed up and down in exhaustion as he looked back to the covered distance. His blood was spilled and smeared across the floor, the sight making him feel sick to his stomach.

In a last attempt to call for help he finally managed to make himself audible at least to a slight degree, but it seemed in vain. Before he saw help arrive his eyes drooped and finally closed as he lost consciousness.

---

No emotion on his face whatsoever, just that look of disapproval, contempt even, on his face. He looked down on him sternly and spoke, "Why did you do it Shinji?"

His chin quivered, his eyes moist with tears. He shook under his father's intense gaze, and he couldn't find the words anymore.

Gendou grew impatient, and turned to leave. "I have no time for this, goodbye."

"Father! Wait!" Shinji blurted before he could stop himself. His heart pounded in his chest, ready to rip loose as his father turned to look at him.

Seeing the still impatient look on his father's face, he forced himself to continue. He sniffed, but couldn't stop his tears from falling. "I… I just wanted you… to care for me." He mumbled softly.

His father snorted, then turned his back towards him again. "I have no time for your childishness." With these final words he walked out the room and left Shinji alone in the room.

He sobbed openly, his tears running down his cheeks like a torrent. That's when he discovered this illusion would never turn into something real. His father would never tell him he loved him, would never tell him he was sorry, would never praise him.

He would never care.

---

I accepted DartzIRL's one-hour-oneshot challenge, and came up with this. To be honest I still had about half an hour left to add more to this story, but I don't think it needs more than this. Filling in the blank between Shinji's suicide attempt, and his awakening in the hospital really serves no purpose in my eyes, and I hope you all agree. If you don't, use your imagination to fill in the blanks. If anyone wonders where in the NGE timeline this takes place, I really don't have an exact time, but it seems most fitting after Volume 10 of the Manga, or episode 24 in the Anime.