Cooking is an Art Form
A good cook is a peculiar gift of the Gods. He must be a perfect creature from the brain to the palate, from the palate to the finger's end. -Walter Savage Landor
Emerald orbs stared at the mess before her. She could clearly see the wreckage of what could have been a masterpiece. Red was spattered everywhere, staining all possible surfaces, including her clothes.
That was it.
The lasagna was ruined.
Sakura bit into her soft, pink bottom lip as she heard it ring. Silently praying her friend would pick up.
"Moshi moshi?" The voice drifted through the phone into Sakura's ear.
"Tenten! I need your help!"
"Sakura? What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that I'm trying to cook! I just messed up the lasagna, it looked like a freaking battlefield before I cleaned the kitchen!"
"Sakura! Why are you cooking? I mean you're awful, no offense, so wh—oh, I see. You want to impress Deidara, right?" Sakura blushed despite herself. Was it really that obvious? She heard Tenten sigh on the other end of the phone line. "Fine, I'll help you. I can see how much he means to you, I mean you're cooking for him, that says—"
"Okay, okay! I get that you can read me like a book! Now help me cook!"
"Fine, fine! Let's start with a strawberry trifle, you should be able to do that."
"...a-ano T-tenten-ch-chan..."
"What is it Sakura?"
"U-um...well...you see..."
"Spit it out already!"
"Hai! Well...I was beating the cream like you told me to...but I was a bit too...enthusiastic...and it...went all weird..."
"Weird? What do you mean?...Oh God, don't tell me, you managed to get it to turn into cheese!?"
"U-um...I think so..." A sigh escaped the brunette girl.
"Fine, scrap the trifle. You'll make fruit crumble now."
"Sakura! What's wrong?!" Tenten was panicking, her friend had just dropped the phone, and she couldn't think of why. The sound of said phone being picked up was heard. "Sakura? Are you okay?!"
"...Hai...I'm fine...just a bit...yeah..."
"What happened?"
"Um...well...I didn't have any raspberries and apples, so I used pomegranate and ginger...and I just...threw up..."
"Sakura you baka! You don't change the ingredients randomly! Ugh fine, I guess we'll have to do something simple. Sakura, you're making rice crispy cake."
"Okay! So we are ready to start! You're sure you have everything?"
"Well, um, thing is..."
"Not again...what have you done this time Sakura?"
"This time it's not my fault!"
"Uh-huh..."
"It's your fault! While you were giving that stupid long speech on...whatever it was on, I got hungry! So I ate...all of the rice crispies..."
"..."
"Tenten?"
"...Sakura, you are such an imbecile. How are you supposed to make rice crispy cake without rice crispies?!"
"...It's your fault!"
"...Whatever Sakura. One last try. If you don't get this right, I'm giving up. You should be able to do this, but seeing as your...culinary skills are hardly up to scratch, I wouldn't be surprised if you can't."
"...Get on with it Tenten..."
"You're making cookies"
Deidara stepped into the apartment cautiously. Something was up. Normally Sakura would have already come barreling into him, with her arms ready to embrace him, but the apartment was dead silent.
He stepped into the kitchen, looking around his eyes widened. His pink haired girlfriend was slumped against one of the counters, shoulders sunk in defeat. What was even more shocking than the girl who was normally so energetic looking like she just wanted to sleep was the...stuff...on the walls around her. Beige in colour with brown spots here and there.
"Sakura...what the hell, un?"
"...the cookies went boom..."
A/N: Please forgive me for not updating all of my other stories...but this idea was too tempting. DeiSaku is addicting...in case you couldn't guess, this is (supposedly) AU and Deidara is (supposedly) a chef...or something...my mind came up with this during the hour of silence where we're supposed to 'work' at the end of Friday two weeks ago...procrastinating is tempting. Just a silly one-shot, don't take it seriously.