What I Wrote to You

AN: This story is mostly inspired by Marla's Lost and the amazing stories she had written. If you haven't already I highly recommend checking her out! I'll warn you though you might want to prepare for a couple of weeks of just binge reading her work. They're that good!

Disclaimer: I don't own That 70's Show

Summary: The trip to Africa was a necessary evil for there to even be a chance of a future between him and his childhood sweetheart. They parted ways before he left but he always believed that when he came back they would still have that same love and finally begin a new chapter in their life. It was all just part of the plan, but the plan didn't involve having his heart crushed.

Chapter 1: Unsent Letters

Dear Donna,

It hasn't even been a day since I've landed and I already miss you. It didn't really hit me when I was sitting on the plane that for the next year I wouldn't be able to see your face, or your smile, or your eyes. I mean there has only ever been a few constants in my life—mainly Red's foot taking permanent residence in my ass but also you— and now you won't be here, you'll be there. For as long as I've known you, you've always been here, never there. There has never been a there between Eric Foreman and Donna Pinciotti. Now we have a whole ocean and it finally sunk in. I'm a dumbass and I miss you. I've been sitting in this apartment just thinking over and over how stupid I was for even suggesting that we put our relationship on hold. I don't want to be here anymore, all I want is to hold you and tell you how much I love you and that we should never part again. But I know I can't do that. You're like a bird. You need to be free and I intend to follow you wherever that takes you and the only way to do that is this. You'll probably never get this letter because I probably won't ever send it. It's stupid but I'm a dumbass and this helps relieve some of the pain.

Forever yours,

Eric

P.S. If I ever do show you this letter, ignore all the erase marks. I've rewritten this too many times until I finally felt satisfied that I could really say what I wanted to say.

P.S.S I love you

Dear Donna,

I'm more tired than I've ever been in my whole life. I feel like my whole day goes by in blurs while my nights feel like they'll never end. I'm busy when I wake up but once night comes along and I finally have time, I start to remember that you're not here and it just goes on forever. I miss you. I've finally been situated and have gone through orientation. We joked that when I was still in Point Place that I would be staying in huts here in Africa and I can't say that you guys weren't entirely off. This apartment is smaller than my own room back there but I've seen some of my students living similarly but with a whole family to share! I never really knew how fortunate we all were lived in such big houses and having food on the table ever night. I feel like my complaints of not being able to stay out past curfew or that the old Vista Cruiser was a shitty excuse of a car seem so petty now. So many people here would trade almost anything just to live in the same comfort that we took for granted. Tell my parents I love them… hell even Red. Also I love you too. It's only been a month but it feels longer.

Missing you,

Eric

Dear Donna,

If our old gym teacher saw me now I think even he would be proud. There's really no mode of transportation here beside you own two legs and that how I've been getting around. I mean at first it was hard, especially with the hot weather, but I slowly got used to it. I think I've gained a few pounds. A few pounds of muscle that is since any fat I gain I think I just sweat away and as much as I'm enjoying the sudden physical change I really just miss the fair weather of Point Place. Even the terrible snow during winter! What I would do to have one afternoon without having to wring out my shirt from sweat. It's getting to be a little too much. The Midwest did not prepare me for year round sweltering heat.

Thinking of you,

Eric

Dear Donna,

I feel like I'm starting to forget what your voice sounds like. I've called hoping to catch you the few chances I've gotten but the money for long distance calls are terrible and you're never around when I call my parents. I guess that makes sense since I'm not there anymore so there really wouldn't be much of a reason for everyone to hang out in my basement. I think about that a lot you know. I miss our days hanging out in the basement just you, me, Hyde, Kelso, Fez, and even –gasp!— Jackie. I know, I know I'm shocked at myself too but you know she actually called to say goodbye to me before I left? Maybe the devil isn't all that evil... Look at me, only been here for a couple of months and the heat is already starting to play with my mind. Still I miss you. And everyone.

I think I'm going crazy,

Eric

Dear Donna,

Hey you know it's weird that I've spoken to Kelso, Fez, Hyde, and even Jackie on the phone but I still haven't spoken to you. It was great talking to them but the only one I haven't spoken to is the one that I've been dreaming about every night. I know this is hard right now but I really do believe that this will all just be a chapter in our life together. This is just the conflict in the story and once I come back we can start building for our future. So please, I know it's hard but at least let me hear your voice.

With all my heart,

Eric

Dear Donna,

We finally spoke on the phone! It was only for a few minutes but in those few moments tears actually streamed down my face. You asked me if there was something wrong with the signal because you couldn't hear me very well and I said yeah there probably was. But that was I lie. The reception was perfectly fine I just had to cover the receiver because I didn't want you to know that I was crying. I can't really remember what we talked about because I was too busy being happy to hear from you. I miss you Donna, I've said it before but it doesn't make it any less true. I miss you and finally hearing your voice after so long just made that feeling all the more stronger. I love you I can't wait to hear your voice in person once again.

I love you,

Eric

Dear Donna,

I want to come home. I've said it before but at this moment the desire it at its peak. I actually considered leaving right this moment but the facts that my return flight isn't for another six months and I have no money for a new flight back is the only reason I haven't. I miss you so much. I miss having you in my arms and knowing that I'll go to sleep at night and be able to see you in the morning. I miss kissing you and having you squirm in my arms. But mostly I just miss being there with you. I love you Donna. This coming six months are going to be the hardest days of my life.

Always yours,

Eric

Dear Donna,

I've been writing a lot. Not just these letters that I'll never send but just anything. I've written about my experiences on a separate journal and I've written about whatever my mind comes up with. I was never really one to write a lot but ever since I've started writing these letters—I don't know writing just makes me feel better. Maybe when I come back I'll major in English instead of education. It seems like a sensible enough focus but I feel like Red would have a foot up my ass if I did go down that route. It's only a hobby so I guess we'll see.

Only yours,

Eric

Dear Donna,

Just one more month. Just one more agonizing month and I'll finally be able to hold you in my arms and kiss you like you've never been kissed before. People won't find us for a few days because I'm going to keep you to myself until I'm satisfied. I still think of you every night and I still will for this one final month. I know it's been hard but we'll be together soon and we'll never be apart again.

Counting down the days,

Eric

Dear Donna,

Hey I'm in the plane now anxiously waiting to take off. I know this will be the longest flight of my life because I won't be able to sleep. I had this dream last night, well more like a nightmare, that the plane I'm on will crash and I won't be able to see you again. I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to think that we've gone through this torture for the past year only for me to end up dead because of some crummy plane crashing. That would be too cruel. Anyways I'll be home soon. I'm scared that we won't be able to pick up where we left off. It's been a hard year I just hope you'll still be there for me…

Dreaming of you,

Eric

Dear Donna,

I'm home.

Eric

Eric pocketed the letter into his duffle bag with a weary smile on his face. He was finally home, or at least almost home. He should have arrived at the Kenosha airport hours ago but with the snow storm blowing through Wisconsin his plane had been delayed a couple of hours.

Despite that fact he had been waiting to go home since the moment he left, the last bit of extra hours waiting to return home was the most excruciating couple of hours of the whole thing. His nerves were all bundled and wired and he felt like the twitchy teenager he used to be before he went to Africa. His palms felt sweaty and he had a few beads of sweat rolling down his forehead despite the fact it was below freezing outside.

He couldn't help it though! This was going to be the moment. The moment he returned, the moment he could finally wrap his arms around Donna and kiss her for all she was worth. Which is a lot, so there's probably going to be a lot of kissing and making out involved. And if he was lucky they'll be doing it later on in the night.

That's for later though, his only priority at the moment was to somehow find a taxi in this goddamned weather with only an hour left in 1979. Red was not about to pick him up in Kenosha when he could be sitting on his chair with a cold beer in hand completely warm. As much as he wanted to see Donna as soon as possible he didn't want their first meeting after a year of separation to be in the Kenosha airport. That just wasn't how he envisioned the scene playing out. It had to be more romantic. The return scene couldn't be at the airport, it wasn't a significant enough of a location to fully make the scene perfect. No it would have to be in the Foreman driveway where it all began. With the New Year approaching he needed to get back before midnight so he could kiss her and cement their love. So he was okay with the lack of transportation from them. Now if he could only hail a cab.

He rubbed his arms to try to warm himself up but the friction did nothing to heat him. He was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans since he didn't pack a coat with him. After all who needed a coat in sunny Africa? He must have looked completely out of place with his face tanned and clad in a flimsy t-shirt that did nothing to stave off the cold but he didn't care, all that mattered was hailing a cab and returning to Point Place as quickly as possible.

Thankfully his prayers were answered when a yellow cab pulled up and the cabbie rolled down the windows. "Looking awfully cold there."

He couldn't help the grin from forming on his face, "Nah, it's not too bad. I kind of missed the cold so you could say I'm just getting reacquainted with Wisconsin weather."

"Well as great as that sound why don't you get in before you turn into a Popsicle."

Eric opened the car door and threw his duffle bag in. Almost instantly he could feel the warm air from the car heater warming him up and bringing feeling back into his fingers.

"So where you headed son?"

He gave the address of his childhood home in Point Place to the man. Silence fell between them once they left the airport with only the background music of Todd Rundgren playing. A frown formed on his lips as Hello it's Me played on the radio. It made him anxious but he couldn't help it! The lyrics just fit what he had been feeling for the past 12 months to a T. Not only did he and Donna shared their first kiss after that Todd Rundgren concert—making it seem foreboding – but the song just sounded ominous and played havoc with the fears and the insecurities he felt while in Africa.

Hello It's me,
I've thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but some thing's
There's something here that doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine.

"So where you coming from?"

Eric was brought back from his thoughts at the question, "Sorry could you repeat that?"

"I asked where you're coming from. With that tan of yours and the way you're dressed I'd assume somewhere more tropical than this place."

He ran a hand through his hair that was starting to get a little too long, even for his taste. "Yeah if you want to call Africa tropical then I guess you're right on point."

"Africa? Did you live in those little huts or something when you were there?"

He chuckled at the question since that was one of the first things his friends had asked him when he had first brought up the idea of Africa. Perhaps it was just some preconceived notion that the people of Wisconsin had when they thought of the place. Still it made him think about his friends and how much he missed every single one of them.

"Or something," he said with a wry grin. "It was only in the more rural parts that I stayed in a hut but for the most part the cities were pretty similar to places here only hotter, less automobile, and not as technological."

"Jesus sounds like a drag."

"It was man. Believe me."

Seeing you
or seeing anything as much as I do you
I take for granted that you're always there
I take for granted that you just don't care
Sometimes, I can't help seeing all the way through

They had a plan—or at least he was sure that they had a plan— once he returned they would pick up where they left off and go to school at Madison together to begin their life which would eventually lead to marriage. That was the plan, only he didn't know that the distance would make communication so difficult.

He couldn't exactly phone her very often and the few chances he did they had only been able to talk for brief moments. The lack of communication made the pain so much more painful than he expected it to be. He had been optimistic at first that they would be able to handle a phone call every week or so but that wasn't what happened. He was lucky if he got to hear her voice at least once a month.

He had to be honest with himself. The anxiety he was feeling at the moment wasn't just from the excitement of finally being home and finally seeing her face once again. There was also that part of him that was scared that perhaps she did not wait for him like he did for her.

Think of me,
you know that I'd be with you if I could
I'll come around to see you once in a while
Or if I ever need a reason to smile
And spend the night if you think I should

"—family here?"

Eric glanced up catching the driver's eye in the rear view mirror and realized that the man had kept talking and was asking him a question. "Sorry about that I have a lot in my mind. Could you repeat that?"

"I asked if you had family in Point Place."

A feeling of elation and happiness bubbled in his chest when he answered the question, "Yeah I have family here, and friends, and love ones. This is where they all are." And he will be as well. He'll be back home soon surrounded by the people he love.

The man seemed to have sensed that he wasn't much into the conversation and just mumbled a welcome back as the silence formed once again. Still that infuriating song played on the background. He actually liked the song but at the moment he would have preferred ABBA over it.

The conversation died down and a few more songs played on the radio before they finally reached his home. God it felt good to be able to say that. His home. The little apartment he stayed in never felt like home but now. Now he can safely say that he was home.

He grabbed his luggage and paid the driver the amount he owed and took a step towards the house. Step by step he drew closer and as he drew closer the heart beating in his chest seemed to beat even louder.

He had been dreaming about this moment for the past year. Thinking it over and over, he replayed the scene in his head always dreaming of how good it would feel to finally say those two little words to her, I'm home. He pictured it to be magical and life changing. Then he would say three more words that he had been longing to say for the longest time, I love you. And no more words would be spoken between them.

There she was. Her hair, still blonde unlike the fiery red he associated with her, sprayed across his old Vista Cruiser as she laid on top of with her eyes closed and a small smile plastered on her lips. She looked even more beautiful than he could ever imagine.

Donna still hadn't seen him yet. He glanced down at his watch to see that he was right on time. With only a minute until midnight, he had just barely made it. He took another step and opened his mouth to say those two little words, "I'm—"

The words died on his lips as a guy, someone he had never seen before, came up from behind her and wrapped the girl up in a hug. Her smile brightened as she returned the hug. He was about ready to march up to the couple with words of fire only to stop dead in his tracks. The couple smiled at each other as their face drew closer together until…

Instead of staying to watch as the love of his life lock lips with a guy on his car he ran. He turned and ran. He didn't have a destination in mind but at that moment he didn't want to be there. He couldn't be there. So he ran.

This was not how he pictured his return.

AN: Just the start of something new...