So I know there are a lot of great Addisex fanfics out there that I can hardly compete with but I had to get these scenes out of my head. And since I've read every fanfic out there about these two I apologize if some of it subconsciously slipped into my writing. The chapter titles are lyrics or song titles by Idina Menzel because I think she ties Kate Walsh for my biggest girl crush so it only seemed appropriate.
Disclaimer: I wish I was Shonda Rhimes but sadly I am not because this is how I would write it.
Chapter One: If I Told You
She was pure exhaustion in a tall, slender red-headed form. The way she listlessly ran her finger over Jane Doe's chart revealed to him that she'd probably only had one green tea latte today instead of two and probably hadn't eaten anything beyond a banana at 6 am when her shift started. She wilted into the fetal monitor and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her right hand. They were undoubtedly already red with fatigue. Addison Montgomery may have been near collapse but she still made it look like the most beautiful state of being that existed.
"You should get some rest. I can finish checking her stats." She was startled by his gentle demand and mustered the best half smile she could manage. Her bottom lip curled in a way that made him realize he'd never quite know everything that was going on in her head no matter how hard he tried.
"I look that bad huh?" Her smile broadened ever so slightly and she shook the wispy curls framing her face. He wanted to say she looked beautiful, stop whatever self-deprecating rant she was about to embark on. He couldn't do that though. It wasn't fair to her. They'd done well in this new holding pattern they had entered since the uncomfortable day in the linen closet. It wasn't fair to change the rules now. The rules certainly did not allow him to tell a woman he said he wasn't interested in that she looked beautiful.
"I know you had a long surgery earlier is all." Professional courtesy, keep it at that. He rounded the bed of their sleeping patient and took the chart from her hands. Her sigh of relief didn't go unnoticed and she blinked her eyes hard wishing away what he suspected was the remnants of a caffeine withdrawal headache. He tried not to stare as she ran her elegant fingers through her fiery hair and twisted it around the nape of her neck.
"Yeah I am feeling a little nauseous. In case I'm coming down with something, I don't want to pass it onto….Ava…is it? Or the baby."
"Have you eaten anything all day? I can go get you something."
"That won't be necessary Karev." She laughs ever so slightly and he fights a feeling of annoyance rising within him. He didn't know if it was her disregard of his concern or her address of him by his last name. Not that she called him Alex all that often but he noticed she'd been doing it with more frequency lately.
"Seriously, I know we're all busy and this job is all consuming but just slow down and take care of yourself." Her eyes try desperately to hide the shock behind the emerald green embers but her whole body reacts to his hand on her arm. He's gripping her bicep in a way that could be construed as possessive but is just comforting instead. His thumb gently rubs tiny circles on the soft flesh in the crook of her elbow. Her skin is hot to the touch but damp with a thin sheath of perspiration. He feels the slightest tremor reverberate throughout her body as he pushes his thumb into her arm with a little more pressure.
"You feel like you have a fever." Without thinking, without rationalizing ten steps ahead about the consequences of his actions, he raises his hand to her cheek. It's as if his hand is completely independent from the rest of his body, and brain for that matter, as it floats up to her flushed cheek. He grazes her rosy cheek with the back of his hand. The intent is somewhere between a mother checking the temperature of a sick child and a lover caressing the face of the person they have to have right now. The slightest move of his hand and he risks crossing into dangerous territory. The territory Addison led him into the night of their kiss at Joe's. He went willingly of course but she didn't know that. He wasn't ready to direct the return trip to that place they'd both fled from in panic.
"Is that your official medical opinion Dr. Karev?" The movement in her face as she lets a smile escape chases his hand away and it floats back to his side. He clenches and unclenches his fist at his side, trying to get the tingling feeling from touching Addison Montgomery out of his system.
"You don't have to be such a smart ass all the time." He smiles his trademark grin so she knows he's joking and raises his eyebrows to show her he is serious all at the same time.
"Ok, I'm going. Wow I really got you strung out on watching fetal monitors didn't I? Give me updates in an hour." She barely glances over her shoulder at him as she disappears in a blur of red out of the room. His breathing slowly returns to a normal, human pace. God that woman is so infuriating. And amazing…And gorgeous…... Back to focusing on the patient. Enough daydreaming about the woman you blew off in a linen closet.
"Will you two just get it over with already?" He fumbles with the chart, catching it in a world class juggling maneuver before it crashes to the dingy tile floor, and spins toward the supposedly sleeping patient in the bed.
"Excuse me?" Her face is still heavily bandaged from the major reconstructive surgery but he can still read her sarcastic expressions through the dressings.
"You and the hot redhead. Just go lock yourselves in a closet somewhere and do something about all this sexual tension. You two are like my own personal soap opera each day. Which is actually kind of nice seen as I am totally lost watching All My Children given the amnesia and all." He smiled in spite of the scarlet cloud that was spreading up his neck, threatening to take over his face.
"You must be really bored in here, you're hallucinating. I'll see what we can do about getting you a DVD player and some decent movies to pass your time."
"No need to get defensive. I think it's cute. You two seem rather intoxicated with one another."
"I can assure you there is nothing going on between Dr. Montgomery and I." He listlessly looks down at her chart reading the same sentence over and over again to avoid Ava's penetrating stare. He feels so exposed around her. His lies flash in neon signs above his head and all the wrong words come out of his mouth.
"Think you can do better?" This time a laugh escapes through the stone cold front he's trying to maintain. It's not nearly as bad as the words that quickly follow.
"Brad Pitt couldn't do better than Addison." Oh god. There was her first name. Did he just say that? Living with Meredith and Izzie was saturating his mind with too much celebrity gossip. He quickly circled the bed again, heading nowhere in particular. Maybe if he looked determined Ava wouldn't notice the words that he'd just released into the room.
"Those are some strong words. Angelina may have something to say about that. Think Dr. Montgomery could take her?" He knew there was no way out but to play along with her ribbing at this point.
"I'm sure she could hold her own. She is a feisty one. It's all in the hair." He blindly pressed some buttons on the fetal monitor, serving no medical purpose whatsoever. He just needed something to do beside look at his interrogator. "You should get some rest. And I mean actual sleep this time and no more making up your own soap operas about me and my boss." He was determined to escape from the room without making eye contact with her again. Anything was bound to come out of his mouth under her penetrating stare.
"Alex…." He swallows a gulp of air and turns to face her, his facial expression frozen in a look of indifference to whatever she could possibly say. "Sometimes it's worth it."
"What is?" His face shifted slightly to show a mild curiosity.
"The risk. Some people make the risks worth taking………even if it does mean beating up Brad Pitt." Ava doesn't give him a chance to argue with her as she turns her head to the side, closing her eyes and feigning sleep.
Alex could barely handle one woman in his life constantly ordering him around. Now Ava had taken it upon herself to tell him how to conduct his personal life. What scared him more was that he actually cared what she thought. He barely recognized this person he'd become. These two women had turned his life upside down. He needed to go somewhere to think, sort out the friction swirling in his head. But what he really wanted was to go see her.