After Percy

by swanglade37

Annabeth's thoughts after Percy dies. She's an old woman and the death happened about 5-10 years before. Rated for mentions of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). A bit tragic, and you may or may not end up crying. Sorry in advance if you do. If I owned PJO, I'd be published by now. Based on 'My Immortals', by Evanescence.

I'm exhausted. They won't leave me, neither the spiders nor the nightmares. I keep having dreams of the pit, of him. He says he has to leave, but he never does. He's always there, in the back of everything, lurking.

Even after all this time, the pain won't go away. My memories are too vivid and they plague me. There are too many things, I'll never forget. I wish I could, but at the same time I can't let them go. They're my last memories of him, and I can't let them go.

He never cried, but he looked like he wanted too sometimes. I never knew why. But when I cried, he'd wipe away my tears. He did scream, and I did what I could to help him. We took care of each other. We had since we were twelve. The pit hadn't changed that, it only strengthened it. He was gone, but I still loved him.

He captivated me. Everything about him from his messy dark hair, to his lack of brain cells, to his abundance of love, and his perfect sea green eyes. Now, I was just a shell, no longer me, just a lookalike Annabeth, a lookalike Wise Girl. His face still appeared in my dreams sometimes, and I hated it and welcomed its familiarity. I still heard his voice, but it no longer belonged to the man who would soon walk up behind me. Instead, it was only in my memories now.

Even after all this time, the pain won't go away. My memories are too vivid and they plague me. There are too many things, I'll never forget. I wish I could, but at the same time I can't let them go. They're my last memories of him, and I can't let them go.

He never cried, but he looked like he wanted too sometimes. I never knew why. But when I cried, he'd wipe away my tears. He did scream, and I did what I could to help him. We took care of each other. We had since we were twelve. The pit hadn't changed that, it only strengthened it. He was gone, but I still loved him.

I've known for ages that he was gone. I accepted it long ago. But it still doesn't seem real. I still want to believe that he'll walk through the door every day. He's still with me, but I'm alone now.

When I cried for any reason, he made me feel better. When he screamed from a nightmare about the pit, I comforted him. We had our schedule, our partnership, and our family. Because, even though he's gone, Percy Jackson will always be the love of my life.