Blind

by Spuffyfan394

Willow helps Spike recover after the battle of L.A.

Spike woke up and the first thing he noticed was everything was pitch black. He tried to remember what happened and found that he couldn't. He sat up and leaned against the wall. A few minutes later Spike heard footsteps coming towards him. He flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Spike?"

Spike immediately recognized the owner of the voice.

"Red?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Mind telling a fellow what happened?"

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"Sorry to disappoint luv."

Willow noticed Spike wasn't looking at her almost like he couldn't see her. Willow put a hand on Spike's cheek so he was looking at her, Spike let the hand guide his face to where he assumed he would be looking at her but it was still dark.

"Spike, can you see me?"

"No."

"There are really bad burns around your eyes and parts of your face. I wasn't able to check and see if you had any others anywhere else."

It took Spike a moment to process what she said and after a realizing what she said about the burns he realized that was probably why he couldn't see, whatever happened must have damaged his eyes. Spike leaned away from the wall and started to shrug off his duster as he had realized he still had it on. He stopped when he felt his coat tugging at his skin.

"Well, this isn't going to be fun."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean; I think whatever burned me must have done a bloody good job because."

Instead of finishing his sentence he gently tugged at his duster and as he heard Willow gasp he knew she must have seen what he meant.

"Don't pull it any farther, I'll be right back."

Spike heard Willow leave the room and return a couple minutes later. She set something down on the bed.

"By pulling the leather away from the skin it's stuck to its causing the skin to bleed. And before you say anything, I know you're a vampire and it won't kill you, but it has to hurt."

"I've had worse."

Willow sat next to him and Spike felt her hands on his arm. He then felt her wrap something around his arm that he could only guess was gauze. Spike figured Willow was giving him a confused look, so he continued.

"It was after I got my soul, long story short, Red, I tried to help some kids from a demon and ended up on fire with no help."

"Ok, I know you've done some pretty evil and nasty things but even you don't deserve that."

"At that point, I felt like I deserved it."

As Spike continued to take off his duster, Willow continued to bandage the burns after putting some antiseptic on them. Spike may not be human but it helped her to do it.

"Where are we anyway?"

"London."

"Well sure as hell didn't expect that, figured I was still in L.A."

"You don't know how you got here, do you?"

"No, I don't"

"I found Wesley's journals and as you might know they stopped at Angel and the other taking on the Order of the Black Thorn. So I took matters into hands and did a couple locator spells to see if anyone was still alive and made it out of the battle."

"Haven't been alive for 130 years luv."

"It's a saying Spike, you know what I mean. Anyway, I got results on your location and before I could do any others I was interrupted."

"That still doesn't explain how I ended up in London unless I was already here."

"I teleported you here when I found you. I went to L.A. because Giles wanted me and a few of the slayers to check it out. I found you unconscious in an alley."

"Must have been one hell of a fight then."

Spike finished taking his dust off.

"By the look of these burns, it really must have. Some of these are really bad."

"You do remember I can't see, so yeah, some of the burns are bad."

"I haven't actually seen your eyes to know how bad it is, Spike."

"Is that you're way of telling me to open my eyes?"

"It might hurt but if you want to, I can't stop you."

Spike decided it was worth a shot. He slowly opened his eyes doing his best to ignore the pain it was causing. Willow had been right it did hurt, but he knew if he didn't let her see the damage he wouldn't know how long it would take for them to heal. Again, Willow gasped. Spike's eyes were no longer the blue orbs they had been, instead all Willow could see was white. There was no color, it was almost like something was blocking them.

"You can close your eye," Willow tried to hide how shaky her voice was.

"That bad huh."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

"I might be blind, Red, but I can still tell when you're lying."

Willow sighed.

"I'm not sure how long you'll be blind. It almost looks like you have a cataract that are blocking your vision. But that could have been your eyes form of defense against whatever burned you."

Spike nodded.

"Sorry, you had to see that, that couldn't have been pleasant."

"At least we know why you can't see other than the burns around your eyes. Can you tell if you were burned anywhere else?"

"Don't think so."

Spike reached up a hand to feel his torso then his legs. As he reached his chest he winced as his fingers pushed the material of his shirt against a few gashes that he must have gotten in the fight, along with a few burns that weren't as bad. He let Willow bandage those even though he told her they didn't need to be. The gashes were pretty deep though. Then he moved to check his legs and found that there were a few burns there was well. Which Willow again insisted on taking care of as well.

"By the way, Red, where are we in London?"

"Before I found the journals I was exploring the city some and came across an old abandon house."

"You found an abandoned house and figured it was a good idea to teleport a vampire to it?"

"Well, I can't exactly take you to the compound since there was a reason you never told Buffy you were back."

Spike paused for a moment.

"How do you know the house was abandoned?"

"No one was here and there dust covering everything. It looks like this place hadn't been touched in several decades, but at the same time the house isn't as rundown as it should be for its age."

"Does the house by chance have a dark green couch in the main room?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Oh, Bloody hell, you managed to find the one place I never wanted to return to."

"What do you mean?"

"It's my house, from back when I was human."

"But why wouldn't you want to return to this place its gorgeous."

"I have my reasons."

"Do you want to leave?"

"And go where? There's nowhere else to go."

Willow got up and left the room. She returned a few minutes later with a mug. Willow took Spike's hand from where is laid beside him and place the mug in his hand. Spike lifted the mug to his lips.

"You're lucky I trust you."

He took a drink.

"You're lucky I stocked up on blood for you."

He nodded, "Touché."

He finished the blood before he actually realized it was cold.

"Guess you were hungry."

"Guess I was, Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Willow took the cup from him and set it on the bedside table. Willow finally decided to ask the question that had been bugging her since she found out he was still (In a manner of speaking) alive.
"Why didn't you tell Buffy you were back?"

"That's a long story, don't you have to get back to the compound or something?"

"It's 9 at night, they all think I've gone home. Don't change the subject."

Spike sighed.

"I didn't want it to all be for nothing."

"What you did in the Hellmouth?"

He nodded.

"Why are you vampires so thick! Do you possibly think she would think you're your sacrifice for us would mean nothing, just because you came back?"

Spike shrugged.

"If you had seen Buffy since Sunnydale you would think differently, she's different and not the she'll grow out of this phase different. Did Angel talk you out of going to see her?"

Willow's expression softened even though she knew he couldn't see her. She took her hand in his hopping he would understand that she wasn't trying to make him feel bad. And since he couldn't see her this was all she could think of.

"He might have played a part in the decision making. But at first I couldn't have done anything even if I had wanted to, pet."

"What do you mean?"

"When I can back, I, my essence, came out of the amulet and I was for lack of a better word, a ghost. I couldn't touch anything so even though I wanted to I couldn't call Buffy to let her know."

"How long were you a ghost?"

"About three months."

"Wow, so why didn't you say anything after you became corporeal? And how did you?"

"I got a package in the mail that made me corporeal again. And because I did a new crisis arose. Because I sacrificed myself to save the world and what not, it created a problem."

"And the problem was the Shanshu, right?"

"Bingo, because that meant there were two candidates for it. And that wasn't allowed."

"How'd you fix it?"

"Went to an opera house and hit Angel a bunch of times. Could of dusted him but didn't."

"Why not, you two hate each other don't you?"

"More than that. I'd rather not get into old details on that. Let just say I'd rather not have to tell Buffy that I killed her ex because I could get a reward out of it cause that wasn't why."

Willow noticed something had changed in Spike's facial features.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, throat hurts a bit, might have damaged that too somehow."

"We can finish this conversation later if you want to get some rest."

"No, it's fine. Never been one to let pain stop me."

"Well let me know, can't have you injuring yourself more."

Spike nodded.

"So after you didn't turn Angel to dust what happened?"

"Didn't you read all this for Wes' journals?

"Most of it but it's easier to believe from a firsthand account, wait, Andrew went to L.A. to help with a slayer who was slightly insane, from what I remember from Wesley's journal's you were there, right?"

"That I was. The nerd really kept his word, I'm impressed."

"All he said was someone was hurt, he never gave a name."

"Yeah, that was one of the more unpleasant experiences. She had though I killed her family. And I couldn't complain because hers was one that I hadn't offed."

"What'd she do?"

Unconsciously Spike's hand found its way to his other wrist and Willow looked down to see a faint white line around his forearm. She picked up his arm and he let the other arm fall into his lap.

"I can't say I didn't deserve it at one point or another with all the thing I did."

"I doubt you ever did. Spike what she did was horrible."

Willow ran her fingers over the scar.

"Both arms?"

He nodded.

"The man, she thought I was had killed her family and then kidnapped her. He pumped drugs into her system which she then used on me in order to incapacitate me enough to cut them off."

"Ok now I know I don't like her. And Andrew brought her to the compound. She could have killed us all in our sleep."

"She wouldn't have because none of you were the ones she had a problem with."

"Did you just defend her?"

Spike held his hands up in a surrender.

"Just stating facts, Red. And besides I bet there were a few time you all wished you could do the same."

"Not that I would admit."

"I was evil for a while, remember."

Willow nodded and then remember he couldn't see her.

"Yeah, I remember."

"Enough reminiscing, where did you say Wes' journals left off."

"The last entry was you and the other going to attack the Order of the Blackthorn."

"Right, we seceded in that, I saved the kid, Angel defeated Hamilton, the liaison for the Powers That Be, and the others defeated their mark. Except Wesley was killed and Gun was severely injured. The Power that be retaliated by sending a bunch of demon and a dragon after us, then everything goes black."

"Could the dragon have burned you?"

"'Suppose so."

"Might be more than that."

"What do you mean?"

Spike had had been feeling off since he woke up and now that he was thinking about the possibility of the dragon burning him, he was also thinking about the possibility that something else had happened.

"Might have to add poison to that list."

"That might explain why you can't see; given that I know vampires can't get cataracts the poison might be doing it."

Spike nodded. Willow stood up and took the first kit off the bed.

"Get some rest, we can figure it out tomorrow."

Spike decided it was better to listen given that things were probably only going to get worse and he really was beginning to feel tired. He laid down and fell asleep soon after. Willow headed downstairs and started doing research on her computer, at some point internet must have been hooked up at the house because Willow was able to use it. She searched for a few hours before realizing she wasn't going to find anything and she would have to resort to looking in the books that were at the compound. The only thing she knew for sure was it wasn't any poison they had encountered before. Willow decided to go make sure Spike was still asleep, seeing that he was she headed to one of the other bedrooms and decided to get some sleep.

Willow woke up the next morning to the sun shining in her face. She looked at her phone to see it was 8. Then she noticed she had a few missed calls. She listened to a few of the voice mails and called Buffy back to find out they needed her, so she had to meet them at the compound. Willow walked over to the bedroom Spike was in and opened the door carefully. She walked over and made sure the curtains were closed tight enough to keep the sun that had been shining through it out. As Willow turned to leave she felt a hand on her wrist.

"It's just me Spike."

"Sorry. Heard someone and don't like being caught off guard."

He let go of her wrist and sat up.

" I have to go to the compound for a few hours, will you be alright on your own here?"

"It was my house once, can't have changed that much besides, I didn't plan on doing much anyway. Just don't tell anyone about me, yeah?"

"I won't. And while I'm there I might be able to grab a few books I need."

Spike nodded.

"You know you have to tell them eventually."

"I will, just not yet."

"Alright, is there any new symptoms I need to know about?

"Nope, same as I was last night."

"You're not just pull the tough guy act are you?"

If Spike could have rolled his eyes he would have. But it didn't take her more than a few seconds to realize he was unintentionally lying. Willow noticed his face fell after she asked that question.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Spike, if you don't tell me things may only get worse."

Spike sighed.

"My head hurts a bit."

"How much is a bit? Is it bad enough to keep you awake?"

"Sometimes."

"Should have told me last night, I could have gotten you something that could've helped."

"It wasn't that bad last night."

"My point still stands Spike. Not getting any sleep isn't going to help you heal."

"I know, just didn't want to bother you since you already helped me enough."

"It's not bothering me if you really need the help. I'll be right back; I'm going to grab the pain meds out of my bag downstairs."

"Alright."

Willow left the room and headed downstairs she grabbed her bag and a mug of blood before heading back upstairs. She reentered the room and placed the mug into Spike's hand.

"Thanks."

Willow took the medicine bottle out of her bag and shook out a few pill after opening it.

"I don't know if these will help but it's worth a shot."

Willow picked up his hand that wasn't holding the cup and put the pills in them. Spike brought his hand to his mouth and downed them with a gulp of the blood.

"Ok I have to leave before someone thinks something is up. I'll try and be as fast as I can but no guarantees. I can lock the door behind me just to be safe."

"I'll be fine. "

"You better be, I don't plan to fix you up just to have Buffy stake you when she finds out. Ok, I'm leaving now, don't go anywhere."

"Where would I go?"

"Exactly."

With that Willow walked out of the room, locking the door behind her and headed out to her car. Spike finished the blood and used his hands to find the table and set it down. The pain meds Willow had given him had taken the edge off his headache enough so he could try to sleep. But didn't lesson it as much as he would have liked. Even with the headache it didn't take him long to fall back asleep.

Willow arrived at the compound and walked in. She was able to slip in without being noticed and told the others she had been there for a while. The next few hours consisted of the gang talking about the slayers patrols and a new demon they had come across. The demon had apparently been strong enough to bruise a few of the slayers and get away. Willow was able to get the books she needed before heading back to the Pratt house.

She parked her car where she figured most couldn't see it and headed inside. She set the books on the couch, so she could look in them later. Willow then walked into the kitchen and grabbed a mug out of the cupboard and put the last of the blood in it, she'd have to go out and get more. She took the mug and the pain meds which she had given him earlier up to the room he was in. Willow unlocked the door and walked in.

"Spike?"

"Red?"

"Yup, did you sleep the whole time I was gone?"

"Off and on."

"Did the pain meds help?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Do you want more?"

"No, it's not too bad."

"I can try a healing spell if it would help?"

"It's alright. Was never one for magic."

"Right. I forgot sorry."

"You were just trying to help."

"Well this might help more, I brought you some blood."

Willow placed the mug into his hand. And he took a sip of it.

"I might need to tell someone else you're here. I need more help than just me. If it's fine with you I was thinking of telling Dawn."

Spike sighed.

"Last I checked, Nibblet hated me."

"That was over a year ago, Spike, I told you things have changed."

"Right, and if you tell her and I wake up on fire that will tell you things haven't changed."

"You won't wake up on fire, I mean unless the curtain is accidently opened, maybe."

"No joking about a bloke waking up on fire."

"Sorry."

"If you think it will help, you can tell her."

Willow picked up the other mug Spike had used before and headed back downstairs to call Dawn and ask her to meet here. She dialed Dawn's number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dawny."

"Hey Willow, what's up?"

"Do you remember the old house I found not too far from the compound?"

"Yeah, I remember what about it?"

"Would you be able to meet me there?"

"Sure, do you want me to meet you there now?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. Don't tell the other though."

"Ok I won't. Are you going to tell me why you're being so secret?"

"I will once you get here, thanks Dawny."

"Bye see you soon."

"Bye."

Willow hang up and put her phone back in her pocket. She picked the cup up again and washed it out in the sink and laid it to dry. After about ten minutes there was a knock on the door and Willow walked over and opened it.

"Ok why'd you what to meet here?"

"I have something I want to show you."

Willow told Dawn to set her stuff down on the couch and motioned for her to follow. They walked up the stairs and Willow stopped in front of the door.

"I want you to promise me you won't do anything to hurt him."

"Hurt who, Willow who's behind the door?"

"Dawn, promise me."

"Alright, alright, I promise."

Willow opened the door and she heard Dawn gasp quietly behind her.

"Spike?"

"Nibblet?"

"God, I haven't been called that in a long time."

Spike smiled slightly, he thought, so she's not mad at me after all. Dawn moved forward and hugged Spike and after a few seconds Spike hugged her back. Being this close to him Dawn noticed the burns as well as how much paler Spike was than he normally was.

"What happened to you?"

"Not really sure of the answer to that question right at the moment."

"I can explain what I know so we can leave Spike alone for a bit."

"You don't have to. I'm alright."

"Spike, no offence but you look like you're about to pass out."

Almost as soon as Dawn got that sentence out Spike started coughing. Both women moved forward to help him, but Spike help a hand up. And it subsided as soon as it started.

"I'm alright."

Dawn finally realized something.

"Spike can you look at me?"

"That is the one thing I can't do, bit."

"What do you mean?"

"He was poisoned and I think it's keeping him from being able to see. And those burns around his eyes make it hard for him in open his eyes. Which reminds me, I should probably change the bandages on the other burns."

"There are other burns? Are they all that bad?"

Willow nodded. "There are a few gashes too."

"I may not be able to see you nodding, but I still know you're doing it."

"Well I'd whisper but I know you'd be able to hear that."

"That's not really my fault."

"No, it's a vampire thing. Dawn, can you grab that first aid kit from the bathroom."

"Sure."

Dawn comes back a few minutes later with the kit.

"Oh, I forgot, I grabbed a pair of sweat parts before I left the compound. I figured they would be easier than the pants you have on."

"I can go grab them."

Dawn disappeared the returned a few minutes later and handed the pants to Willow.

"Now comes the hard part."

"I don't need help changing."

"Alright, Dawn and I are going to wait in the hall just call if you need help."

"Alright."

Spike heard both girls leave and the door close. He moved to the edge of the bed and stood up. He was able to change without falling over. After he finished he sat back down on the bed.

"You can come back in."

He heard the door open and two sets of footsteps enter the room. Spike leaned back against the headboard.

"I'm going to run out and get more blood and dinner for Dawn and I. Then Dawn and I can start researching."

"Alright, I'll stay up here till you get back."

Willow nodded.

"I'll try make it fast."

Willow left the room and headed downstairs. She grabbed her keys and bag and headed out to her car. Dawn walked over and sat on the bed opposite Spike.

"So, I'll leave the explaining up to Will, but we should probably change the bandages. And don't try to play tough guy just 'cause you don't want me to help you. Do they hurt? Wait that's a stupid question."

"Not as much as they should."

"Do you think it's the poison?

"Might be."

Dawn helped Spike take his shirt off so she could change the bandages. She started to remove the bandage on his chest. The gashes had stopped bleeding, but they didn't appear to be healing. Dawn gently placed her fingers on the busied skin but quickly withdrew her fingers as Spike pulled back.

"Sorry. Did I hurt you?"

"It's alright."

"You don't seem to be healing the way you should. And it could be the poison or it could be that Willow has only given you animal blood."

"I know what you're thinking and don't do it. I'll be fine."

"You mean, like you were fine after Glory's minions kidnapped you?"

"That was different, bit, you know that. I don't want to risk hurting anyone just so you can give me something that might help me heal."

"Ok, I know you can't see me, but I'm glaring at you."

"Do that all you won't, I'm not drinking human blood after when happened last time."

"That was the First not you!"

"Don't shout," Spike said as he winced.

"Sorry, do you have a headache?"

"I think the better question is when haven't I had a headache here."

"You've have one this whole time?"

"It got bad about 5 minutes ago."

"I can call Willow to come back if it's really bad."

"No, no need to bother her."

"Ok just let me finish changing the bandages on the burns and I'll leave you alone."

During their conversation Dawn had finished changing the bandages on his chest. She pulled the legs of the sweat pants up and changed bandages on the burns on his legs. Dawn finished and pulled the pant legs back down. Seeing as it looked like Spike had fallen back asleep, Dawn put everything back into the kit and put it back into the bathroom. Dawn closed the door to the bedroom that Spike was in just in case someone else showed up. And she headed downstairs to wait for Willow to get back with dinner. She didn't have to wait long. A few minutes after she had come downstairs and washed her hand and got a drink. Willow walked into the house.

"I decided to get pizza."

"Yum! We haven't had pizza in a while."

"How's Spike?"

"He fell asleep, I changed the bandages."

"Thanks, I forgot to do that before I left."

"I also told him that I would let you explain what he had told you about what happened. I figured he wouldn't want to have to explain the same stuff again. He also told me his headache got worse."

"That's not it is it?"

"I think he has a fever too."

"At least that helps us narrow down what the poison is."

"Well then we should start looking because the sooner we find it the sooner he can tell Buffy and she can stop being all mopey."

"I agree, but Dawny, it might not be that easy."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"We can't just force them together."

"I know, that last year she was actually happy. Let's start researching instead of talking about it."

They looked in the books for a few hours. As Willow finished the book she was looking in Dawn spoke up.

"Willow, what if it's a new poison. I mean if it's something that wouldn't be on record 'cause it was just made or found."

"If that's the case there's only one way I think we can find out."

Before Dawn had a chance to say anything else they both heard a noise upstairs and Willow stood up.

"I'll be right back."

"Alright, call me if you need me."

Willow headed upstairs. She opened the door to Spike's room and walked in."

"Spike?"

"Sorry, I knocked the cup over."

Willow noticed the coffee cup on the ground. She walked over and picked it up. Willow noticed as he talked his voice sounded scratchy, then she looked his face.

"So Dawn had an idea. What if the poison is something new that we've never heard of and wouldn't find in any of the books?"

"Wolfram and Hart would definitely want to use something like that given we offed the Circle of the Blackthorn."

"That's what I was thinking. Spike, what's wrong?"

"Not entirely sure of that myself."

Willow set the cup back down on the table and sat at the foot of the bed. She had noticed his expression, had changed during their little conversation.

"Ok now you have me confused. "

"It's hard to say what's wrong when everything hurts."

"Well what hurts the most?"

"Head."

"Is it worse than when the chip would fire?"

"It's getting there."

"Ok, I don't care what you say, I'm going to see if a healing spell helps and if it doesn't I might have one that can help us figure out the poison faster."

"I'm not going to argue."

"Alright, I'll be right back I have to grab a few things from my bag."

Willow left the room and headed downstairs to tell Dawn what she was going to do and grab what she needed for both spells. She had realized earlier at the compound that she might have to do the spells and grabbed what she needed. She and Dawn headed back upstairs. Willow setup to do the healing spell first. Dawn sat next to Spike. Willow did the healing spell and could tell that there was no change, so she made sure everything was set up to do the other spell. Willow started the spell and at first nothing happened but then as if it was handed to her a piece of paper appeared. By the end of the spell she noticed there was a name on the paper. Willow stood up and both Dawn and Spike heard her go downstairs. She returned several minutes later.

"You were right Dawn; the poison isn't in any of the books."

"I didn't want to be right about that. We're one step farther from finding a cure now."

"We may not be."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I read in one of Giles' spellbooks that there's a spell that can determine a cure."

"Well that's convenient, there's a but isn't there."

"The spell isn't exactly pleasant."

"If it helps I don't bloody care if it tears a limb off. If it's the only way get it over with."

"I don't think you understand what I mean Spike."

"I don't have to. As long as you know what you're doing."

"If you're sure just give me a little while to set up."

Willow and Dawn both left the room. As they got downstairs Dawn turned to Willow.

"What did you mean by the spell isn't pleasant?"

Willow sighed.

"The spell itself isn't the unpleasant part, it's actually really simple to cast. It's more of what the spell has to do in order to figure out the cure."

"What does it have to do?"

"It has to go through his memories to figure out the type then it analyzes some of his blood to figure out the cure, I'm just not sure what it will have to do since he doesn't remember being poisoned."

"Alright."

"Dawny, I also don't think it's a good idea for you to be here while I do it."

"I'm not leaving!"

"Dawny, I can call you when I'm done but you really don't want to be here."

"Why?"

"Do you remember last year when his chip misfired? I know you pretended to hate him but you told me after everything that had happened, that you had actually wanted to help him but you couldn't. This could be the same situation."

"Fine but you better call me when you finish."

Dawn headed out the front door. Willow sighed knowing this could turn bad fast. She heads back upstairs and into the bedroom Spike was in.

"That bad huh?"

"You heard the conversation?"

"Enhanced hearing, Red."

"Right."

"Let get this over with."

"Alright. Give me a few minutes to set up."

Spike nodded. Willow walked downstairs to get the spell book she would need. She grabbed the book and headed back upstairs. The spell called for the chant and the magic casters hands to at the person's temples. Willow explained this to Spike and after getting his permission started the spell. Almost immediately Spike's head erupted in pain. The spell analyzed Spike's blood almost immediately, that wasn't the hard part. A piece of paper appeared above them and fell to the floor and Willow assumed it was the cure or how to make the cure, but she couldn't check to see if it was. If she broke the connection now they wouldn't get the other answer they needed. She also figured if she broke the connection the paper would go blank. The hard part was happening in Spike's head.

Spike, Angel and the others were standing in the alley. Angel had just said he wanted to be the one to take on the dragon. Spike worked with Illyria to take down the other demons while and trying to give Angel time to take down the dragon. Spike was fighting a few demons. He killed them but more just kept coming. Spike turned around just as a demon he didn't recognize cut him across the chest. The cut stung but Spike kept fighting, ignoring the pain. But shortly after he noticed something wrong. His vision was going cloudy.

"Spike behind you."

Spike turned around just in time to be whacked on the side of the head by something. He closed his eye and when he opened them all he saw was black. And he didn't have time to move out of the way as Angel yelled at him as a different demon ran at him and he vaguely remembered Angel saying something about acid, but he couldn't hear him over the dragon roar. The demon made a hissing noise and Spike punched in its general direction but missed. The demon hissed again, and all Spike felt was a burning sensation on his face and torso. And then it felt like something was ripping his chest apart. That was where the memory ended.

The spell had allowed Willow to watch the memory as it happened. As the spell ended she lowered her hand and took a deep calming breath. She hadn't expected that to be what had happened. Willow had figured it was something he had done to get in trouble rather than being in a fight to save the world again. She looked at Spike and noticed he'd gone still.

"Spike?"

Willow placed a hand on his shoulder and noticed he was shaking. She then realized the memory might have made him relive what had happened. If that was the case then he was in a whole lot of pain. Spike turned his head towards Willow.

"Hopefully that never has to happen again. That spell is rubbish."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea."

"Sorry, I didn't know it would be that bad."

"Most spells don't tell you what the effects would be."

Willow nodded. She could tell he was still shaking but she wasn't sure what to do. After that spell she didn't want to do a healing spell because she knew he wouldn't want it.

"Can I do anything to help? Given that I kinda did this"

"I don't know."

Willow reached over and picked up the paper. She was amazed to see that there was more than just the cure on the paper. There was also the name of the demon on it. "Well at least we know what the demon is and how to reverse what it did."

Spike wasn't listening. He could barely hear Willow over the ringing in his ears. His head was beginning to swim.
"Red, this is getting to be a little too much for even me."

"I'm not sure what I can do short of a healing spell. And I figured you wouldn't want me to do that after the last spell"

"You thought correct."

"I can go grab some pain pills, I'll be back in a few alright?"

"Alright."

Willow took the paper with the cure downstairs and put it next to her stuff and got the bottle of pain pills out. After scanning the paper to see if she needed to get anything from the compound. There were a few but she knew she had them in her room. She went into the kitchen and got a glass of water before heading back upstairs.

As she got to the door she heard a noise. When she opened the door she was met with the sight of Spike retching. Willow put the cup and bottle both on the nightstand. Spike finished and laid back on the bed. Willow grabbed the bottle and shook a few pills out and placed them on Spike hand. She then handed him the glass which he drank after putting the pills in his mouth.

"They'll take few minutes to work. I have most of the ingredients for the cure here, but I need to get a few from the compound."

"Alright."

"I'll try to be fast."

Spike nodded.

Willow left the room and called Dawn.

"Hey, I finished the spell, but I have to get a few things from my room at the compound."

"I'm at the compound now, Buffy needed help with something. I can grab the stuff if you want."

"That'd be great."

Willow explained what the ingredients she needed were and Dawn got them and met Willow at the compound. Willow headed back upstairs.

"How's your head?"

"Better, thanks."

"Dawn's bringing over the last few things I need then I can start on the cure."

They both heard the front door open and slam shut, Spike groaned. Willow headed downstairs. Buffy had noticed that Willow and Dawn had been disappearing. She knew if she asked them they wouldn't say anything because she had asked Dawn. And Dawn changed the subject. So Buffy wanting answers she had accessed the GPS in Willow's car. Willow had forgot to turn it off. So, when Buffy walked into the front door. She was met with Willow's shocked face.

"What are you doing in a rundown house?"

"I was practicing magic."

"Uh huh, and you can't practice it at the compound?"

"Some spells are just too dangerous."

"You're such a bad liar. What are you really doing?"

"I can't tell you."

"What do-"

Willow turned around to see Spike standing on the landing. She sighed.

"How'd you even manage to get that far without walking into a wall."

"Willow what-How-What the heck is going on around here."

"That's a long story."

Willow walked over to Spike and helped him down the stairs.

, one of you better start explaining what's going on."

At that moment Dawn walked in.

"Uh oh."

"I can tell you later luv."

"No, you can tell me now."

Buffy walked over to the couch that Spike was now sitting on. And she didn't notice or care that Spike wasn't looking at her or that he had his head in his hand.

"Buffy this can wait till later, there are more pressing matter we need to deal with.

"It's alright Nibblet. I can explain to her. Red has to make the cure anyway."

"Cure?"

Buffy sat down next to Spike. She then noticed the burn around Spike's eyes. Willow and Dawn took the stuff Willow would need into the kitchen to give Spike and Buffy space.

"She didn't kill him that has to be a plus."

"She might after what he has to say."

"It couldn't be that bad? You never did tell me about that."

Willow explained what Spike told her. Except about Dana and what happen right after he got his soul. Dawn didn't need to know those.

"Oh God. What happened?"

"Where do you want me to start?"

"How long have you been back?"

"A year."

"Wait so you've been back a whole year and you didn't say anything?! Where were the whole time?"

"I couldn't the first three months. And after that I wanted to, just things got in the way.

"But you still could have picked up a phone and called instead of making me think you were dead!"

"I didn't want you to think what I had done meant nothing."

"It doesn't god Spike why are so thick! It never could, you sacrificed yourself to save people you didn't even care about! But more importantly you sacrificed yourself for Dawn and me."

Spike would have been looking at the ground if he could of. Hearing her say it made his decision to not tell her sound extremely selfish and stupid.

"A day hasn't gone by that I haven't missed you. And you thought it was best to not tell me you were alive. Do you know how selfish that sounds."

"I didn't want to tell you and get your hopes up only to perish in the Battle of L.A."

"You could have told me after."

"Yeah, haven't really had to chance to. I didn't want you to see me like this anyway. "

"Well I don't care. You've looked worse anyway."

"Well thanks, that's very helpful"

"Sorry I just mean-"

"I know what you meant, luv."

"How'd you get the burns around your eyes?"

"Some demon spit acid at me but that's not the worse part. The burns aren't what's making it hard for me to see."

"What do you mean?"

"He means that same demon poisoned him."

Neither of them had noticed Dawn had walked back into the room. The door opened again and Willow walked into the room and placed a cup in Spike's hand. Spike took a drink of the contents in the cup and swallowed.

"That's disgusting."

"What'd you expect it to taste like. It's not supposed to taste good."

Under Willow's orders Spike drank the whole cup.

"It won't work for a few hours."

Spike nodded.
"Spike, are you alright?"

Buffy had noticed he had grown paler after drinking the antidote.

"Fine just tired."

"Wanna go back upstairs?"

"Only if you come with."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Hey Buffy, Dawn and I are going to head back to the compound, call if you need us. I'll stop by tomorrow."

"Ok Will."

Buffy stood up and helped Spike up. They headed up the stairs and Spike told her which room. He remembers since it was him room from when he lived here.

"What is this place?"

"It was my house, back when I was human."

"Wow, ok that explain why it looks like it's stuck in the 19th century."

"Is that your way of calling me old?"

"Would I ever do that? Besides it's no fun if I can't get a reaction, being able to see it part of that."

Spike smiled and he could hear the smile in Buffy's voice. He sat on the bed.

"What happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"With us."

"I don't know. I still love you but I don't know if you feel the same way."

"You know I do luv, I could never love anyone else."

"If you really do then you should have told me you were alive."

"I thought I explained that already, I didn't want to get your hopes up just to have them crashing down for the same reason."

"Ok I won't bring it up again, I understand why you did it. Get some rest I'll be here when you wake up."

"You promise?"

"Yes Spike I promise, you won't wake up alone like last time."

Spike laid back on the bed and fell asleep a few minutes later. Since it was late and Buffy didn't really like the idea of sleeping in the chair she was sitting in, she walked over and laid next to Spike of the bed.

Spike woke up the next morning and felt a weight on his arm. He decided to test his eyes, so he opened them carefully because the skin around and over his eyes were still a little burnt. Spike opened his eyes and found that he could see. He was also happy that Buffy was the first thing he saw. She was asleep and had her head resting on his chest. Buffy stirred but didn't wake up. Spike watched her sleep for a while until she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Morning luv."

"Morning.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in awhile."

Buffy then noticed her was looking at her.

"Can you see me? Does it hurt at all?"

She had seen the burns around his eyes the day before, and even after all the healing he had done they still looked a bit painful.

"Yeah, I can see you. The pains worth it cause I get to see you."

Buffy smiled at him but understood what he meant.

"Close your eyes, I'm not going anywhere."

He smiled slightly.

"I meant what I said last year in the Hellmouth you know., I didn't say it just because of what was happening."

"I know that now."

"Good. Do you want to come downstairs with me or do you want me to bring you a cup of blood up here?"

"I'll go with you downstairs."

Buffy helped him stand up and they headed downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Morning Red. Your potion seemed to do the trick."

"Good cause that was the last idea I had. I can try a healing spells on the burns if you want."
"No, it's fine They don't hurt as much. My healing seems to have kicked in"

Willow nodded.

"I'm going go back to the compound, I just wanted to make sure you were both stocked on food and see if the cure worked."

"Alright, I'll stop by in a bit Will."

Willow left the room and headed out the door. Over the next few days Spike continued to recover and one day Buffy decided to stop by and ask the one question that she couldn't stop thinking about.

"Spike, did you plan to stay in London or-?"

"Are you asking if I'm staying here or going back to California? Because there is nothing for me in California. Everything I have or will have is here."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I should have never lied to you and I want to make it up to you. And if possible I would like to have you and Dawn move here, I know it's a lot to ask but this house is not meant to have one person living in it."

"Wait, what's so special about this house?"

"It was mine, And I would like it to have better memories than the ones it has."

"I think can talk Dawn into moving here. She barely stays at the compound as it is.

"I have one more thing I want to ask you."

Spike grabbed her hand and lead her into the living room. He picked up a small black box which he had asked Dawn to pick up the day before just so he had it. He had known from the moment last year when she stood up for him that she really was the one. Spike stopped in front of the fire place and knelt on one knee and lifted the box before opening it.

"Buffy Anne Summers will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Buffy stared at him for a minute before nodding.

"Yes, I would love to."