Disclaimer: I am definitely not Stephenie Meyer and these are not my original characters. That being said, I have enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading.
Setting: This story starts right where New Moon ends. Writing it is helping me kill the time until Eclipse comes out!
Edward and I walked into the yard and the sound just hit me.
"Where have you been? Scratch that- don't even tell me! I won't be able to understand you or believe you anyway!" Charlie's voice had an edge to it I'd never hear before. He was standing by the doorway to the kitchen, his face a shade of red I had only seen a few times before. My mind cleared of everything else as I registered the anger I saw there. Maybe I would have to reprioritize my list of dangers to include Charlie's wrath in the top two.
"Dad, please just listen-" I said in as calm a voice as I could, looking to him with apologetic eyes. In all honesty, I didn't even know what I was going to say if he let me. Every answer I could have given was shrouded in mystery, and none of it would have made Charlie feel any better. Which reality should I tell him first? The possibility of my demise via vengeful vampire attack or my decision to be the 'vampire girl' instead of 'wolf girl'? Jacob had accomplished his goal- forcing me to explain my actions in a way I had never expected to.
Charlie stepped towards us and cut off all further thought. "No, for once, I have a lot to say! Maybe I haven't always been an authority figure in your life, but I am now, and I'm not letting this go any further. I don't know you any more," he said, his voice both angry and plaintive. "You won't talk to me about whatever happened earlier this year," Edward squeezed my hand in response to the quickening in my pulse, "you lie to me about where you are and what you're doing, and you disappear when you please." Charlie's eyes darted back and forth between Edward's face and mine, his hands gripping the bill of his sheriff's hat. All too late I thought about how much easier my life would be if I hadn't spent my college money on a motorcycle!
I bit my lip at the thought of how hurt he must be. I had snuck around behind his back, using my friendship with Jacob Black to cover for my other activities, and he had never known. How much more hurt would he be if he knew the lies my future would hold once I was changed. So many things would have to be hidden, until it wouldn't be possible for Dad and I to even see each other any more. As though reading my mind, Charlie's eyes suddenly became darker still. He turned his full attention to Edward. "I don't know what you've done to Bella, but it has to stop now. You left her broken, for six months, without even caring what she was going through. Before that, she would never have done anything to risk her own life. Then, you come back into her life and expect her to rearrange everything for you! She has other people willing and able to take your place- don't stand in her way."
Edward stiffened in response to both the accusation and the insinuation. I could see him trying to remain calm, remembering that this was Charlie, not Jacob, and that killing him was clearly not what he wanted to do. After all, it was understandable for Charlie to feel this way, knowing so little of the situation as he did. My eyes pleaded with Edward, asking him to keep his temper just a bit longer. Then, before he could respond, I took control of the situation.
Another epiphany.
I was an adult, a woman, with my own path to choose in life. I had to stand up for it myself, and I wasn't going to try and block it all out the way I had always done before. This wasn't something my boyfriend could do for me or with me. I turned to Edward and looked him in his honey-colored eyes. I had to do this. I had to prove to Charlie that I was the one calling the shots in my life, not Edward. "I need you to wait in the house for me. This is between my Dad and me. I love you, always."
His eyes studied my face, his forehead slightly creased with worry. I could tell he hadn't expected me to handle the situation this way. He had wanted us to stand as a couple and now I was choosing to be alone. Edward bent down swiftly to whisper in my ear, "I'm not leaving you. This is all my fault, you shouldn't pay for my mistakes." I didn't know what exactly my plan was, but I knew that Edward was not taking the responsibility for my motorcycle, for my life. Tonight was about me.
Edward took his free hand and gently cupped my chin, his cool touch reminding me again of the reality of his presence in my life. He was so beautiful, like a light in a storm. Sometimes I had a hard time believing that any of this was happening to me.
For a second, I wavered. He was Romeo, and against all odds, he was mine. Would Juliet have asked Romeo to leave her side if they had been reunited in life?
Would she? If it meant she had a chance to become her own heroine for a change? Maybe. Either way, I knew I had to take the chance and try. I smiled at Edward, my life and destiny, and let go of his hand.
Edward's mouth fell open for just a second, his eyes registering shock and dismay. Charlie and I watched him as he walked slowly away from us, his eyes glancing back at us with every other step. At the door, he turned again and smiled my favorite crooked smile, but his jaw was locked. I hoped he would understand- I would make it up to him when this storm was put to rest.
It was silent now, the type of silence filled with unsaid things. I wished I had Edward's power to hear what Charlie was thinking, to prepare myself for what else he would say. How little we had said all this year, tiptoeing around my pain, tiptoeing around his worry. All that silence, adding up around us.
Charlie's voice broke the silence. "Bella, I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself. I'm through not saying anything. My whole life has been about protecting and serving the people of Forks, and now I can't seem to keep you safe in my own house. Cliff diving, motorcycles, crazy infatuations- you're on a dangerous road and it has to end. Edward has wasted enough of your time. You need to focus on the things that really matter in your life and act like an adult."
"Bella, don't you see? You can't hang your life on one person. Everything you've done to endanger yourself has been because he devastated you. That isn't love. Jacob would never have hurt you like Edward did-"
"I don't regret a single thing that happened this year." I cut him off as calmly as I could. "Act like an adult? For as long as I can remember, that's all I've done." I didn't want to hurt him, but there was no way around it. "I came to Forks so that Renee could live her life the way she wanted. I took care of you, the way I felt she should have taken care of you. My identity was all about Charlie and Renee. I lived for you, not me." My voice broke a little as I looked at Charlie's hurt face. I loved him, but I wasn't going to let my wishes be second to anyone else's this time. "When you look at me, you see your baby, the girl in the picture frames in the living room. A girl, not a woman. You don't see me as I am, and nether did I until only recently."
Charlie was quiet as I continued. "When we met, I knew I would love Edward with all my heart. Yes, I was devastated when Edward left me. He left because he knew I was focusing my entire world on him- he wanted me to have more than just that. He wanted more for me and I couldn't understand that." I struggled to explain what had been going on in my mind all this time- all the things I had never said. "I was so fragile. How could he love me? I didn't feel beautiful or graceful or exceptional in any way. Edward's affection was a gift I didn't feel I deserved and, when he left, it made sense that I hadn't been enough." Charlie's face was unreadable. I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking back to the moment my mother left him. She was beautiful and wild, and he had lost her. Is that what he felt at the time?
"It took me all year to understand that I could survive alone. I was broken in every way. I didn't feel anything but loss. That stupid red motorcycle saved my life!" Charlie's eyes jerked towards the driveway, the evidence of my survival tactics still parked within plain view. "I made a decision for myself and I lived at the only speed that made me feel anything at all! I did something for me, regardless of what anyone else would think, including Edward. I fell and I bled, and I didn't break." As I said the words, I knew they were true. I was more than ordinary, more than just the klutzy girl that had inhabited my mind for so many years. Jacob and Edward had both seen it, even if I couldn't at the time. My voice was softer as I took a step towards Charlie. "I did a lot of stupid things, and I know I worried you, but I had to learn for myself what it felt like to be strong."
I held my breath waiting for Charlie to respond. The wind had picked up as we stood there and it was starting to mist. Charlie turned away from me, his voice just a whisper. "I don't want to lose you. I couldn't take that." He looked so much older all of a sudden. My poor fragile dad. His sagging shoulders reminded me that he was only going to get older, it was inevitable. I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned towards me.
I winced as I thought of the two deaths that could take me away from him. Would it be death, or death to eternal life? In the end, who would decide? Would it be me? Edward? Victoria? My head swam from the strain of the day and I pushed those thoughts into the back of my mind. "Dad, please, don't even think that way. You're not going to lose me. I wouldn't let that happen and neither would Edward." A half-truth was the best I could muster at the moment.
Charlie's face fell as he looked at me. His next words surprised me. "It almost scares me how much alike you and I are. Your mother will never understand how I can let you stay with him after all this." I hugged Charlie as tightly as I could, thankfulness washing over me. Of course he understood, he had loved my mother in the same whole-hearted way that I loved Edward. Poor Charlie. Renee wasn't capable of that type of love, and I knew he wondered if Edward was. Who could blame him! I had even wondered if Edward could love me that way. After all, Juliet wasn't a klutz like I was. It would take time to prove to him that we weren't crazy, that our love was really meant to last.
The moment over, we both let go of each other, each shy about the open show of affection. Charlie slowly walked over to the stoop and sat down. I sat down too, both of us quiet and thoughtful. It was strange feeling so close to Charlie. I never expected that from my move to Forks. I guess that was another surprising positive about this tiny town. Now, onto the negatives…
" So, what price am I paying for the red motorcycle?" I was still looking down when I heard his response.
"Well, I want to see you do some normal teenage things for a change. No more crazy stunts and dramatic disappearances. I want to see you walk on graduation day and I want to see you in a prom dress." What the hell was this! Eternal damnation was looking better and better all the time when my human existence had so little to look forward to! "The motorcycle stays in the garage until after graduation. Hopefully, that will be enough time for you to reconsider its ownership." Ok. I could live with that. "As for Edward… I want to talk to him about your relationship and some new ground rules I have." Charlie cut me off before I could even respond. "It's non-negotiable. I will try my best to see you as a young woman, a young adult- but that doesn't mean I give up my parental responsibilities."
I stood up slowly, the blood rushing to my face faster than I thought possible. "Can we save that for another night Dad? I'm not sure I could take it right now." I might have been hyperventilating at this point, so I couldn't really be sure my words came out alright. "Bella, go get some sleep. Tell Edward that he has 10 minutes with you and a date with me tomorrow night." Charlie was smiling just a little now, clearly enjoying the power parenthood had given him!
Edward. I had almost forgotten that he was in the kitchen this entire time. I reached for the door to the kitchen and opened it, yearning for a kiss to clear my mind of everything but his presence.