AN: First time poster, long time lurker. I just took a wild stab at this one, after a random idea. Hopefully you guys enjoy it. Reviews are much appreciated.
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Stan Marsh took a deep breath as he approached his best friend, who was sitting on a bench by Stark's Pond, waiting for him. This was finally the day he would suck in his hetero-pride and admit his love for Kyle Broflovski. He had planned on keeping his feelings to himself, but it got to the point where every casual touch from Kyle was making Stan blush. Which, you know, wasn't all that good for their friendship. He confided in Kenny, who urged him to tell Kyle.
"It's not healthy to keep that shit bottled in," Kenny had advised. "Besides, you never know, Kyle might feel the same way. You two are pretty damn gay."
"Thanks Ken," Stan rolled his eyes. But he had listened to the boy. It probably would be easier on Stan, at least, if he got it off his chest.
"Hey," he said, plopping down next to Kyle, who was poking thing in the snow with a stick.
"What's up, dude?"
Stan took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I have something I really need to tell you."
Kyle didn't look up. "Shoot."
"It's pretty serious."
"So shut up and tell me already."
Stan paused for a moment, thinking about the contradictions of that statement, before pressing on. "I like you. I mean, like you, like you," he added when Kyle didn't respond.
"Yeah. I know, dude."
Stan's eyebrows raised in shock. "Did Kenny tell you?"
"Nope," Kyle said, finally putting down the stick and looking Stan in the eyes. "I figured out. It was pretty obvious. Especially when you threw up on me last week."
Stan turned red. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that."
Kyle shrugged his shoulders. "It's no big deal. I should be used to it by now," he laughed.
His smile melted Stan. He stayed silent, waiting for Kyle to say something else.
"…Well?"
"What do you mean, 'well'?"
Stan was dejected. "I mean, uh, do you…aren't you going to say anything else?"
"I'm sorry," Kyle put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You know I love you, and, admittedly more than a guy should love his male best friend, but…" he finished his sentence by simply shaking his head. "I'm sorry," he repeated.
"Oh," Stan sighed. "You mean…you've never even like, thought about it?"
"I've thought about it," Kyle told him. "I mean, I think everyone considers what it'd be like to date their best friend. But I always come to the conclusion that it wouldn't work."
"Can I ask why not?" Stan ventured. He figured he'd press his luck, seeing as Kyle wasn't mad at him, or calling him a fag or anything.
"I can't be gay and Jewish, dude."
Stan blinked. "Are you kidding me?"
Kyle shook his head. "I get ripped on enough for being Jewish. I refuse to be two minorities. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's against my faith."
Stan was reeling. Was that seriously the only thing keeping him from being able to truly be with Kyle, like he'd been dreaming of the past year? "There are plenty of gay Jews!" he objected.
"Like…?" Kyle asked teasingly.
Stan racked his brain, desperate to think of a homosexual Israelite.
"That's what I thought," Kyle stood up. "I'm gonna go. I'll see you around." He punched Stan on the shoulder, leaving him on the bench, dumbfounded.
"That's pretty fucked up," Stan sighed.
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Kyle sat down at his desk, pulling his AP Chemistry notebook out of his backpack. He figured he should go over his notes for their test tomorrow. He knew he'd do fine, just like he always did, but it couldn't hurt to be extra prepared. He hit his pencil on his desk, thinking about what Stan had said earlier that day. He had known that Stan liked him. Truthfully, Kenny had hinted at it many times, but this was after Kyle figured it out for himself. Stan's tells were obvious – the vomiting, the puppy dog eyes, the constant blushing – but Kyle didn't want to point it out until his friend was ready to tell him.
Sure, Kyle loved Stan. He trusted him more than he trusted any girl, he cared about him more than he cared about any girl, and he enjoyed his company more than that of any girl. He just wasn't sure if he could make that leap from 'super best friend' to 'super boyfriend'. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to.
He knew his mom would flip shit. Kyle entertained himself picturing her reaction: her face reddening, screaming her never-failing, "Whatwhatwhat?" That would be pretty amusing. It was most definitely against the Jewish faith, he knew that much for sure. But fuck, what had his religion ever done for him?
Kyle bit his lip. Would he be able to deal with being ostracized by anti-Semites and homophobes? He supposed the only person whose opinion of him really mattered was Stan, and it wasn't like Stan was going to hate Kyle for dating him.
But why was he thinking about this, anyway? He didn't even like Stan that way.
Right?
He rubbed his eyes and glared at his notebook, forcing himself to focus. It was then he heard the sound of what could only be a rock bouncing off of his windowpane. He looked out to see Stan, holding a piece of paper in his hands. Kyle opened the window, his eyebrows cocked in skeptical confusion.
"Sandra Bernhardt," Stan shouted up. "Actress and comedian. Jewish. Gay."
Kyle said nothing, but propped his elbows up on the windowpane, listening.
"Rabbi Lionel Blue," Stan continued reading off the paper. "First openly gay rabbi in the U.K. Mark Leno, member of the California state assembly. Judy Gold, stand-up comedian. …One of those dudes from the Scissor Sisters. That chick that created 'The L Word.' Chantal Akerman. Simon Amstell. Stuart Krasnow. Steve Berman! Charles Busch! Nick Denton!" Stan frowned, getting no reaction from Kyle. "…Mario Cantone…"
"Mario Cantone's not Jewish," Kyle laughed.
Stan flipped through his notes quickly. "Shit, you're right. Well, uh, Willow from Buffy! She was gay and Jewish!"
"Huh," Kyle bit his lip thoughtfully. It certainly was flattering for him to have done all that research. And pretty cute, the way Stan was practically begging for Kyle to like him back. …Stan was pretty cute, for that matter.
"Well fuck," he closed his window, and went outside to meet Stan. His friend looked up with eager eyes at the sound of Kyle's front door opening.
"I guess…" Kyle started slowly. "If Willow can do it…"
Stan leaned in and kissed his best friend, knowing instantly that he was so in love with him.
This time it was Kyle's turn to blush. "Not bad," he smiled softly. "Not bad at all."
"It just makes sense," Stan said after a moment, at a loss for any other words.
Kyle nodded. He looked off into the distance, remembering his thoughts from earlier, and busting out into a huge grin.
"What is it, dude?" Stan asked. He was shocked when Kyle grabbed his hand.
"Let's go tell my mom!"
