Manga: Death Note
Character(s): Near
Rating: K
Warnings: Spoilers, although if you've read enough fanfiction, you probably already know what happens.
Summary: Even Near has his doubts. (Because going barefoot is the only thing he has left now, and that's not even enough.)
Disclaimer: I do not own.If only...
It is a cold, snowy morning when Near goes to visit L's grave. The snow has fallen, and though it is cold, Near walks barefoot the whole way and carries his shoes in his hands.
He tells himself that by doing this, he's one step closer to being L. He brings the shoes because he knows that by the time he comes back home he will have failed.
He crouches before the stone, his toes turning bright red and almost immovable. His eyes close, and for a second he can remember a time when there used to be another pair of bare feet standing next to his.
His eyes open with the sudden realization that he cannot move. Not his body, but his life. He is frozen, stuck in this position forever. He cannot advance, cannot prove himself better because there is no one alive with whom he can match wits.
L is dead. He cannot help Near now, cannot offer a consult on a case or partner up to solve the newest deadly murders. Near cannot use him as a balance point, a starting block to get him on the right track.
He's not even sure if he's on the right track anymore. He can't quite remember if Kira is completely pure evil. Because, murderer or not, Kira was a friend to L, a sibling and a son to others, respected by the Japanese police. That had to count for something.
Near stands in front of a blank tombstone and wonders if the path that he and L had chosen was the right one. Because look where it's led them now. One dead, the other just as cold as the gravestone before him. Near has lost everything, his home at Wammy's, his protector in Watari, his friend in Mello, and his guide in L. He thinks to himself that there has to have been a better way, one where he could have everything back.
He thinks that maybe there was a way that L could have stayed alive.
But Near has never been one for wishful thinking, and it's far too late now. With a sigh, he takes the shoes and slips his freezing feet inside.
He tells himself as he walks away that someday, maybe, he can be as great as L. He could be as smart as L, solve as many cases. Make friends, like L had started to do with Light.
But right now, Near is just a kid who will never amount up to the man he aspires to be.
He can't even walk barefoot in the snow for him.
A/N: My first good fanfiction written in a while, as well as my first completed Death Note fic. Normally I don't like Near, but any chance to make him seem more human is a good chance to use.
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