Thanks to my beta Azzie(Inkfire)! Written for a Hogwarts Online II forum challenge. Please review! :D Dedications of chapters/oneshots of reviewer's choice!
To Walk Alone:
Blackness. Gray and black. No white. No color. Just gray and black.
No people either. Just him. Alone. Walking down this road. No clue where he was going. Just walking. Away from his shattered dreams, away from his broken heart. Walking down this boulevard, alone.
Even he was black. His clothes were black. His hair was black. His eyes were black. His heart was as black as the rest of him, stained with the blood of countless innocent people. Which was why she hadn't wanted him, had chosen that arrogant snotrag over him. Well, luck to the happy couple, as long as she lived.
She had been the only color in his life. The only other person that had walked this road with him, even for a little bit.
No. She'd never truly walked this road with him. Not even a little bit. She'd walked the road up there, above him, always just out of reach.
So many times he'd wished someone up there would find him, but now...his only hope was gone. Gone. Run off with another man, a happier man. And their son.
"I've always walked alone."
Yes, the words sounded right. Fitting. Like they were written for him.
His shadow walked beside him, a constant reminder of the blackness within him. Always there, like the beating of his shallow heart, only caring about appearances, always trying so hard, until he'd lost sight of who he was, what he wanted...until she was gone.
In that one instant, if he had known that that one word would cause him to lose her forever, he would have stopped, hugged her instead of cursing her, kissed her instead of hurting her, but now it was too late...
No one had ever read between the lines, ever seen the real him, the hurt and scared him, no one had ever checked his vital signs to see just how screwed up his life was and had been, no, no one had cared even that much, just assumed he was alive because he breathed, walked, and talked-but no, no, he wasn't alive at all, who could be? On this lonely road they called his 'life'.
What a laugh...if only he knew how to laugh anymore. Not that it made a difference. Walking down this boulevard of his own broken dreams, watching other, happier lives flash by, and wishing jealously that they continued to stay that way, happy and blissfully unaware of the price paid for their dear, sweet lives to stay so clean and innocent. Unaware that his life had been forfeited.
That he had been set on this black road to nowhere and told to keep walking until he reached the end. And he did. Because he had nothing else.
He could vaguely hear the nurse whispering urgently,
"He's going insane...keeps saying he's walking something...the only thing he's walking is the line in his mind between sanity and insanity!"
And then the Headmaster's voice:
"You're not alone Severus. You never have been. Not only is Lily here, worried sick, I might add, but so am I-"
"So are we." Another voice cut in. Minerva?
A chorus of "Aye's" and "Yes's" and "Please come back's" filled the room, and Severus opened his eyes to see Lily there beside him, and Albus, and his mother, and even James and Remus and Sirius, who all looked very ashamed. But he just smiled at them, a real smile, because Lily's smile had reminded him how, and they knew not to say a word, lest they lose their forgiveness.
For anything was better than walking that long dark road alone.