Why Italy is never allowed on Germany's laptop
Okay I was literally laughing throughout this entire thing...it got to the point where my parents are now concern for my sanity...well mostly my dad my mom could care less. Rated M for suggestive comentary and France
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, but please enjoy…
It seemed as if Italy was having a difficult time concentrating lately. Well that was putting it mildly, if you asked anybody they would have told you that Italy is acting like a squirrel on crack…or a squirrel on any kind of energy drink. Some of the nations and historians wondered if Romano had really laced Italy's pasta with the drug just for laughs. It didn't help that Romano looked crept out at his younger brothers antics…so that ruled him out as a suspect.
So during a rather important meeting of all the nations, Chloe and Germany decided that it wouldn't be a horrible idea if Italy was to mess around on Germany's laptop while Chloe took the necessary notes and gave the necessary speeches. Leaving Italy to ride out whatever he may be on…or he just may be Italy for what anybody could guess.
With the help of the historians the meeting was running smoothly. Well that was given since all the historians wanted to get away from an over hyper nation. So under the threat of being blasted by Switzerland's historian or being by America's historian, she already nuked Denmark for trying to molest Norway while Spain was giving his own speech earlier; Germany's historian continued to lead the meeting with relative ease.
That is until it was Germany's turn to speak. After making sure that Italy was well distracted by his laptop (thank god for the wireless connection that the building had) he stood at the podium and updated the other nations on his economics, trade, military, and other government official things.
While this was happening Italy had decided that he was bored at looking at pasta and kittens (which was a shocker considering who he is) and decided to try out some of the tricks that his historian Chloe had taught him and Romano, smiling to himself as he turning the screen upside down and to the side. Then he found Germany's history. Tilting his head to the side he browsed through the history before clicking on a link that looked interesting. It had something about dogs so maybe Germany had pictures of cute little puppies on his laptop. However, what he saw weren't cute little puppies. His eyes widen in shock as he started to rapidly press any buttons trying to escape the website.
That's when things started to get interesting. Or disastrous depending on whom you were.
While Italy was so desperately trying to save his poor eyes, a little too late considering the porn book he saw at Japan's house, he somehow managed to connect to the projector, which was hooked up to another laptop and get out of the site. Unfortunately poor Italy had clicked to another site just as the projector loaded Germany's window. Now Italy was even more desperate to close down the site while the nations and historians looked on in shock and in some cases amusement (cough France and Prussia cough). Switzerland and his historian was quick to cover Liechtenstein and Liechtenstein's historians eyes while Sweden and Finland were equally as quick to cover Sealand's eyes same went to Turkey who covered TRNC eye's (Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus for those who have no idea who he is).
Leila, England's historian felt her face heat up as the couple continued to move across the screen with an oblivious Germany in front of it. The only reason that Germany remained oblivious was that no one was brave enough to tell him, or that if they even opened their mouth they may start laughing. It was only when whips and chains were brought in that Leila had to look away seeing her nation and husband look equally as red as she did.
France was watching the screen intently smirking while taking a sip of his wine occasionally. Prussia was strangely enough holding back his laughter while his own historian, Anya, looked on in shock. Spain was too busy making sure that Romano, Romano's historian Iris, and his own historian, Erin, didn't look at the screen a hard feat to do since he only had two hands.
Then Italy found the sound.
He pressed the button just as the actress let out a loud moan/scream. It was then that everything came unglued. Prussia busted out laughing while Evelyn, America, Canada and Canada's historian turned as red as one of Spain's prized tomatoes. Several nations quickly moved to take the younger nations, and wannabe nations, out of the room though Chloe was wondering why they weren't taken out of the room when the video came up in the first place. Germany turned around in shock before turning pink and turned back to glare at Italy that was now staring at the laptop screen curious as to why the couples are doing what they are doing.
Moving with ninja like speed that made Japan proud, Germany slammed the laptop closed while glaring at anybody that decided to laugh. "Hey Germany? Why was that man pushing that purple thing into her body? It looked like it hurt a lot, was that why she was moaning?"
Nikita at this point had stood up and dragged Russia out of the meeting room followed by Belarus and Ukraine, all Russia looking a little confused as to what happened and what was going on but deciding that it was just safer to smile creepily at China as he and his own historian, Ling, made a graceful exit. Evelyn and Canada's historian had also decided to herd their own nations out of the meeting room promising to take them to Ihop if they went quietly and didn't ask questions. Eventually the only beings in the meeting room were Chloe, Italy, France, Prussia, Germany, and Germany's historian Benjamin. "I told you two to get Italy his own laptop but no." Benjamin grumbled his cheeks were also tinted pink.
"How was I supposed to know that Germany would have that in his work laptop?" Chloe snapped glaring at Benjamin.
Prussia, still laughing, said "That's not the only thing mein Bruder has on his laptop."
"You finish that and I will destroy you." Germany growled glaring at his older brother who quickly closed his mouth.
Italy as confused as ever looked between everybody. Chloe looked down at her nation and sighed "Let's just forget that this ever happened and I'll make sure to get Italy his own laptop. The others agreed and walked out of the meeting room.
And this is why Italy was never allowed back onto Germany's laptop ever again.
At Ihop Evelyn lowered her fork full of waffle and turned to her nation "Wasn't there a drug bust nearby earlier this week?"
America nodding swallowing his hamburger before saying "Yup the DEA confiscated twenty five kilos of crack cocaine, and one of the dealers was captured inside an Italian restaurant…"
"The same one that you two recommended to Italy and Romano?" Canada's historian asked remembering the conversation between the three nations and historian earlier in the week.
Evelyn and America looked at each other "You don't think?" Evelyn asked really not wanting to hear the answer.
America sighed and said "I'll call the restaurant and see if they remember where Italy and Romano sat and have them turn over the parmesan that Italy used."
Evelyn covered her face with her hands her shoulders shaking.
If anybody else found out Evelyn and America would never live it down that they were the reason why Italy was acting like an idiot.
Though if push came to shove both would throw Germany under the proverbial bus to save their hides.