Daddy's Last Song

I sat at the funeral and almost bawled. My father, Mark Calaway, was gone. Mark Calaway may not make much sense to you, but The Undertaker? If you like wrestling, it makes a lot more sense. My father was Mark Calaway, The Phenom, The Undertaker. He was 19-0 at Wrestlemania, that was his record, the only one to ever go undefeated at Wrestlemania. My best friend, Maria Kanellis, known to the wrestling world as Maria, sat by my side, comforting me. My boyfriend, Jeff Hardy, held my hand and rubbed it as his brother, Matt, whispered me comforting words. The person running the funeral called me up to say my final goodbye. I went up to the podium, my black heels clicking on the hardwood floors. I tried giving everyone a comforting smile, from my dad's wife, my step-mother, Michelle McCool, to my brother, Gunner, who tried acting like he wasn't about to cry.

"'Hi everyone. I was Mark Calaway's daughter. Some of you know him as The Undertaker, The Phenom, or maybe just Mark. His other nickname, sadly, is now true, The Deadman.' That was the speech I had to give, telling the WWE Universe about my father's death. I broke down in tears giving this speech, just like I'm trying not to right now. I notice a few of you from my job on RAW, as I am also a wrestler. Michelle, who my father was married to for a few months, is the woman he would be proud to call his last wife. Jeff, who is my boyfriend, is the man my father would've been proud to walk me down the aisle to. Maria, my best friend, is the girl my father took an immediate liking to. I could sit here and talk about my father all day, about what he would say to me, my absolute favorite quote of his being "I love you," but a few months ago, I showed my father a song, after his first heart attack. I said to him, 'You gave us quite a scare tonight.' He laughed and said 'I'm the Deadman, that's what I'm supposed to do.' That was my father, always joking when he wasn't the Undertaker. Back home, he wasn't the Undertaker, or the Deadman, or the Phenom. He was simply Daddy," as I said that I choked up. "I'm never going to be able to ride the quad with him again, or sit down at the piano and show him the new song I wrote, or play with the dogs with him, or mess around in that square ring, Piledriving and Last Riding all over the ring. But, a few months ago, I sat down at the ranch home after his heart attack, and showed him a song I wrote him. In my twenty-five years of life, I learned a lot about my father. One thing was that he never wanted me to cry, no matter what happened, whether it was that he broke an arm, or when I was five and he got put in a casket. I was never allowed to cry around my father over something that happened in that ring.

"Today, I would like to play you all the song I played him after his first heart attack. I just finished it up yesterday, because I know he wanted me to play the finished version for him today." Without looking at the people in the crowd, I walked to the piano and pulled my hair up. I pulled the piano cover up and started to play.

My theme, 'Hollywood Whore' by Papa Roach was blasting through the speakers at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, after I won the Diva's Championship. We were on the main stage, celebrating. Jeff had me on his shoulders, showing off the championship, getting the crowd roaring. Maria was laughing and jumping around, Matt was hugging Maria. My father watched us, leaning against the ropes, smiling after his daughter won her first championship. I messed with Jeff's hair and he let me down, kissing me. I pulled away from the kiss after a few seconds and he kept me close to his chest. I smiled at the crowd, dripping in the champagne that Matt poured on me. Michelle ran out and gave me hug. Jeff picked me up and spun me around, giving me another kiss. I smiled at the crowd again, taunting them a little. My attention suddenly went to see if my father was watching, but my dad was lying on his back. My face dropped and I looked at Jeff, who also was focusing on the ring. "Daddy!"

I started down towards the rink and the arena went silent. This wasn't in the script. Dad's had a heart attack before.

Maria, Jeff, Michelle, and Matt were immediately behind me. I slid into the ring without a problem and was immediately at his side. He was looking up at me, "Daddy! Daddy, what's wrong? Maria, Matt, go get an EMT!"

"Good luck without me, babygirl. I love you. I love you, Michelle. Tell my kids I love them...And Jeff?"

"Yes sir?" He said, shaking.

"Take good care of her. She's my oldest and she's my baby. Take good care of her."

"Daddy, no," I choked up.

With one squeeze of our hands, Michelle and mine, he was gone.

Just like that.

I looked up at the crowd and they all had looks of disbelief on their face. I looked at the stage and saw Maria and Matt, with countless EMTs. They just stood there. Shock was written on everyone's face and when I looked up at Michelle, she was staring at me. I looked back at my father, one of the only two men I've ever loved. I looked up at the second one, Jeff, then at Maria and Matt. I stood up, almost like a zombie, and exited the ring. On my way up the ramp, I kept my head down, everyones eyes on me. I looked at Maria and mouthed two words, "He's gone."

Matt's mouthed dropped as two tears fell out of my eye. Maria took me in her arms quickly, and the sobs ripped through. I probably looked dead, my mascara running, my eyes red. I pulled out of the hug and walked back to the ring, getting in. I took Daddy's hand and looked like I did when I was four years old and saw him get knocked out. I took his hand and said, "Daddy, Daddy, wake up now." It was just like when I was four. I got in the ring, big no-no, and grabbed my dad's hand and asked him to wake up. Back then, it was cute, now, it was heartbreaking.

No answer. Jeff took me in his chest and I completely bawled. My father was gone.

I sighed as I was playing the piano. It came naturally to me, my father loved the song when I played it for him. I looked out in the crowd for a second and saw everyone from Adam Copeland to Amy Dumas. Jeff nodded me on and I continued playing.

I sat on the couch of Matthew Moore Hardy, curled in a ball, in Jeff's sweatshirt and in his arms. Amy and Michelle were sitting on the floor, looking up at us. I rested my head on Maria's shoulder and Adam sat next to Amy. Matt walked in from the kitchen and offered me a comfort smile. I sent one back and felt a chill roll through my body. I looked at my phone and flipped it open, only to see a picture of my father and I smiling together as the background. I closed my eyes and hit the 'Message' button. I went down to my voicemail and listened to the message he left me.

Hey babygirl. I'm coming to your show tonight, and so is the family. We love you. See you soon. I love you babygirl.

Even then, when I thought I was all cried out, I let another tear fall. I felt Jeff wipe the tear and I put my head in the crook of his neck. I felt him gently rocking me, before whispering to everyone that he was going to take me up to bed.

As he picked me up like husband would pick up his new bride, my arms around his neck, eyes closed, he spoke to everyone in the room, "I would just like to take this second to thank you all. It's not her day today. It was great originally, but this is just tough on her, she loved her dad. So, on her behalf, thank you for sticking with her."

I came to the end of the chorus and thought about my last memory with my dad.

"Daddy, look at what Sarah taught us to do!" In a second, Gracey was doing a double back handspring, a move I taught her, in her little Texas Cheer uniform. I smiled at her.

My dad took me in his arms, Jeff still holding my hand, and he kissed my forehead, "I love you babygirl. Teaching my other daughter some of your classic bone breaking moves?"

I laughed, "Well, my boyfriend is Mr. Extreme, so, you know how it is."

My father laughed and shook Jeff's other hand, "It's good to see you again, Hardy."

"Good to see you again too, Mr. Calaway."

"Boy, anyone who makes my daughter happy the way you make her happy just calls me Mark. Not that Mr. Calaway bull."

"Sorry Mark," Jeff laughed.

Daddy laughed with him.

Then, I remembered what happened when I was laying in bed with Jeff after my dad's heart attack.

I was laying in bed, Jeff's arms wrapped tightly around me, almost like he was holding me together so I wouldn't break. I felt like I was going to break, I knew I was going to break. If Jeff left too, I would break. It was for sure, but Jeff wouldn't leave me in a time like this. That wasn't Jeff Hardy.

He thought I was asleep. I certainly wasn't. I don't think I was going to get any sleep.

Suddenly, I remembered something my father said in that last voicemail.

"So is the family..."

Gracie, Chasey, and Gunner. They had to see that. They saw their father die. I opened my eyes quickly, to see Jeff still looking at me, "Hey baby, you okay?"

"They were there."

"What?"

"Gracie, Chasey, and Gunner. They were there to see my title match. They saw him die!" When my voice cracked, Jeff quickly took me in his arms.

"Shh...Baby, it's okay. It's going to be okay. How old are they?"

"Gunner is 18, Gracie is about to turn six, and Chasey is eight," I looked at him.

He sighed, "Okay, Gunner knows for sure what happened. Gracie might be a bit confused, but Chasey and Gunner probably know what happened. Baby, we're going to get through this. Your dad would want us to."

"I know, it's just...Gracie and Chasey are going to grow up and not have a father to take to bring your father to school day, or a father to keep the boys away, or a father to walk them down the aisle. Daddy wanted to walk me down the aisle, now he can't," I sobbed.

He rocked me lightly.

As I played the final notes of that song, I smiled to myself. Something told me that my daddy was there with me, for that performance. He wanted to see me perform it, I just didn't finish in time for him to see it in person, he had to see it in spirit. That was it, Daddy's Last Song.