DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, all related characters belong to Maggie Stiefvater.
Author's Note: I wrote this for school as part one of Five Diary entries following the story of Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater, I wanted to do a journal report by doing Diary format. And to follow the books I will be doing Sam and then Grace every other entry. Please let me know what you think ^.^
Dear Diary October 9 2009
It is him, Sam, my wolf, He's real and here sleeping on the hospital bed. From all the nights and days spent dreaming I could escape with my wolf, who guarded me as I grew, who protected me from the she-wolf, all the wishing for him to walk out of the woods a boy and not a wolf, this is real. He is real.
And yet he still seems so far away, like a bird on the horizon, even when you close one eye and held out your hand that bird was to far to even notice. He sleeping, only feet from me, his chest filling and releasing with air the only sign of him breathing. I can smell his blood on me mixed with the wolf, the pine and due mingling with a stale scent of dirt. I long for him to open his eyes, show once again the beautiful yellow and gold that is mine to behold with wonder. Feel his hand on me but as a gesture, not a cling for reassurance. The strange human skin he now resides in, no longer the coarse bristles of his ruff, and the way his soft timbre voice carried out my name on his lips, causing my words to catch and my brain to fog.
Sam, even his name, though I had never heard his name before, it seems familiar, like I was meant to know it, or heard it whispered in a dream. Whatever the matter, he is here, with me, and I can finally live out my longest dreams, to share a Christmas without the cold walls of glass separating us, to be able to touch him without having to fear or lose him if he bolted.
But now I'm worrying for Jack, his sister Isobel wouldn't believe me, but I know for sure now that Jack is alive, he may be running around the forest with the rest of the wolves but he was still breathing, and that hope is all I need right now.
This is all still so surreal, me here waiting silently for Sam to wake up, to hear him speak again, to see him smile. Does he even know me? Does he even remember me at all, the swing, the blood, all the times I waited for him to approach me, will he remember who I am to him, or are his memories swirling around in his mind as dormant as the wolf, unattainable. I fear all I can do is wait, hope that he will be okay, and that he will remember me, and wish with all my heart that he will stay Sam.
Author's Note: I tried my best to keep this all in the presences of "now" and make it seem as though Grace was actually writing down her thoughts.