(I don't own Zim. Jendai is mine. "Somewhere in between" belongs to Lifehouse. Sether, Mocha, Jeanne and SocceDiva are real people who belong to themselves. Don't flame me.)
I can't be losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing
I walk to our usual meeting place, the bench on in the secluded area of the park, my boots tapping on the damp cement path. Me, Aliet Faslami, all alone. My hair blows in the wind, mud-brown strands flicking into downcast hazel eyes. I sit on the bench to wait for them. The duo had promised they would come. After an hour, I hear the click of robotic legs and the tap of boots in the dark. The moon comes out from behind the clouds, showing me their silloettes against the sliver grass. Jendai Kaalae sits on one side of me, Invader Zim on the other. "You wanted to see us, Aliet?" 'Dai asks me.
I look down at my boots. Zim is cold, I can feel him shaking. I put one side of my denim trenchcoat around him. He's too tiny to keep warm at night during these winters. These two are the only ones I trust to meet me here without any questions asked of them. "Nobody cares about me, Jendai."
And I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
The Irken leans over me, his blue eyes gentle. He puts one arm around me, trying to provide some scant comfort in a world turned black with loneliness and heartache. "Your friends do," he tells me. "They always have. And you know that, Aliet."
I don't push his arm away. It's so cold outside. "I know they do," I say to him. "But others don't."
He shakes his head at me. "You have more than I ever did," he says. "You shouldn't let a few rude comments crush you."
Zim scoots closer, acting like he's afraid of the darkness in the park. "It's okay, Zimmy," I promise him. "I won't let Dib hurt you." He doesn't say a word, just stares off into the dark. "You're not thinking of... you know," the Invader finally says.
I shake my head. "Jendai's right. I have too much to live for. Sether, Mocha, Jeanne, SoccerDiva... everyone." I start crying. Even around these two, it's hard to say what I'm trying to say. "But I just want to be loved."
Jendai pulls me closer, letting me cry into his shirt. He must have used paste before meeting me here. "You are," his confident tone is more of a comfort than his closeness. "They just think you overreact to the small things in life."
"I don't," I say flatly. "I react to things that are important to me. They just don't care."
"You do talk about me a lot," Zim murmurs, leaning his head on me. He must be sleepy. "Perhaps that is what irritates them enough to be so rude to what you care about."
I can't stop crying. Jendai pulls me in closer, holding me tight. He's just a friend, like Mocha or Jeanne, I tell myself. Sether is who you really want to be here. But at that moment, I didn't care. "I just want them to love me," I whisper between sobs.
"Aliet, they do," both Irkens assure me at the same time. "It's gonna be okay. Tomorrow, everything will be better, we promise."
This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way
That it was
I wish that it was just that easy
I sit up and wipe my eyes, trying desperately to remain calm. "Yes, it will won't it?" I say. "That's how it always is. Isn't it? But the hurt never goes away completely."
Jendai nodds. "But, trust me, dying isn't the answer," he says. "There's always someone you hurt even when you think the world won't notice."
I hear Zim whimper. Startled, I take him in my arms, breaking away from Jendai's embrace. "Poor Zimmy," I whisper, holding him. For once, he doesn't seem to mind. "Dib hurt you again, didn't he?"
He says nothing, just shows me the shallow gash on his leg. "We all have our wounds, don't we," I say quietly. I look the littlest Irken in the eyes. It was sort of nice to know that someone's life was worse than mine. "You need some better security. I can't have Dib killing one of my favorite confidants in his sleep." Zim nodds, looking exhausted. He falls asleep with me holding him and Jendai holding me. I'd longed for this dreamlike moment ever since the fight that started this depression had begun.
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in
Between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
I start to fall asleep, feeling the vibrations from Jendai humming quietly to himself. He strokes my hair like he would another Irken's antennae. Zim sleeps silently, intent on healing himself. I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, they will leave me. It's so quiet here, no yelling, no anger, no rage no pain no shame... I'm safe. Safe... "Don't go..." I murmur just before my eyes close.
When I awaken, I'm on the park bench, clothes damp from the dew. Sether sits beside me, watching me. "I knew I'd find you here," he says to me. I look away. "Everyone's worried about you though." He gets quiet. "You had another fight with them, didn't you?"
"Yes," I say, even though he already knows the answer. I sit up and scoot over to him.
"You can't keep running away, Aliet."
"You'd be surprised."
"Et..."
I look at him, smiling sadly. "Thank you for coming to find me, Sether."
Would you catch me if I fall
Out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse
Down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I feel like I just don't need this
He takes my hands and pulls me up. My trenchcoat flapps in the breeze. Startled, I look down at my clothing. There were a few specks of Irken blood-rose colored Irken blood-on it. "Aliet?" he asks, watching me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I say. "Nothing's wrong anymore. A smell lingers in the air. Oil. Jendai. I smile, a genuine, gleeful smile. "Are you hungry? I have some money. Wanna go get some breakfast?"
"Sure thing," he says. Then he puts his hands gently on my shoulders. God he's so much like Jendai and Zim all rolled into a human body. "Promise me Aliet," he orders. "Promise me you're going to be okay. You worry me."
I smile at him, tears threatening. "As long as night comes and Invader Zim is on TV, I swear I'll be okay." He takes my hands and leads me off.
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in
Between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
Behind our retreating backs, two silouettes smile before vanishing back into the shadows.
What is real and just a dream...
(This was odd, I know. But I was feeling depressed. Writing this helped. I'm not gonna go die now. You don't have to review. I'd just like people to know what I was thinking today. This is probably gonna be my only SI fic, so, if you don't like SI, don't worry. I'm working on collateral damage all right!? I just have writer's block! bye! AF.)
I can't be losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing
I walk to our usual meeting place, the bench on in the secluded area of the park, my boots tapping on the damp cement path. Me, Aliet Faslami, all alone. My hair blows in the wind, mud-brown strands flicking into downcast hazel eyes. I sit on the bench to wait for them. The duo had promised they would come. After an hour, I hear the click of robotic legs and the tap of boots in the dark. The moon comes out from behind the clouds, showing me their silloettes against the sliver grass. Jendai Kaalae sits on one side of me, Invader Zim on the other. "You wanted to see us, Aliet?" 'Dai asks me.
I look down at my boots. Zim is cold, I can feel him shaking. I put one side of my denim trenchcoat around him. He's too tiny to keep warm at night during these winters. These two are the only ones I trust to meet me here without any questions asked of them. "Nobody cares about me, Jendai."
And I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
The Irken leans over me, his blue eyes gentle. He puts one arm around me, trying to provide some scant comfort in a world turned black with loneliness and heartache. "Your friends do," he tells me. "They always have. And you know that, Aliet."
I don't push his arm away. It's so cold outside. "I know they do," I say to him. "But others don't."
He shakes his head at me. "You have more than I ever did," he says. "You shouldn't let a few rude comments crush you."
Zim scoots closer, acting like he's afraid of the darkness in the park. "It's okay, Zimmy," I promise him. "I won't let Dib hurt you." He doesn't say a word, just stares off into the dark. "You're not thinking of... you know," the Invader finally says.
I shake my head. "Jendai's right. I have too much to live for. Sether, Mocha, Jeanne, SoccerDiva... everyone." I start crying. Even around these two, it's hard to say what I'm trying to say. "But I just want to be loved."
Jendai pulls me closer, letting me cry into his shirt. He must have used paste before meeting me here. "You are," his confident tone is more of a comfort than his closeness. "They just think you overreact to the small things in life."
"I don't," I say flatly. "I react to things that are important to me. They just don't care."
"You do talk about me a lot," Zim murmurs, leaning his head on me. He must be sleepy. "Perhaps that is what irritates them enough to be so rude to what you care about."
I can't stop crying. Jendai pulls me in closer, holding me tight. He's just a friend, like Mocha or Jeanne, I tell myself. Sether is who you really want to be here. But at that moment, I didn't care. "I just want them to love me," I whisper between sobs.
"Aliet, they do," both Irkens assure me at the same time. "It's gonna be okay. Tomorrow, everything will be better, we promise."
This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning
I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way
That it was
I wish that it was just that easy
I sit up and wipe my eyes, trying desperately to remain calm. "Yes, it will won't it?" I say. "That's how it always is. Isn't it? But the hurt never goes away completely."
Jendai nodds. "But, trust me, dying isn't the answer," he says. "There's always someone you hurt even when you think the world won't notice."
I hear Zim whimper. Startled, I take him in my arms, breaking away from Jendai's embrace. "Poor Zimmy," I whisper, holding him. For once, he doesn't seem to mind. "Dib hurt you again, didn't he?"
He says nothing, just shows me the shallow gash on his leg. "We all have our wounds, don't we," I say quietly. I look the littlest Irken in the eyes. It was sort of nice to know that someone's life was worse than mine. "You need some better security. I can't have Dib killing one of my favorite confidants in his sleep." Zim nodds, looking exhausted. He falls asleep with me holding him and Jendai holding me. I'd longed for this dreamlike moment ever since the fight that started this depression had begun.
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in
Between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
I start to fall asleep, feeling the vibrations from Jendai humming quietly to himself. He strokes my hair like he would another Irken's antennae. Zim sleeps silently, intent on healing himself. I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, they will leave me. It's so quiet here, no yelling, no anger, no rage no pain no shame... I'm safe. Safe... "Don't go..." I murmur just before my eyes close.
When I awaken, I'm on the park bench, clothes damp from the dew. Sether sits beside me, watching me. "I knew I'd find you here," he says to me. I look away. "Everyone's worried about you though." He gets quiet. "You had another fight with them, didn't you?"
"Yes," I say, even though he already knows the answer. I sit up and scoot over to him.
"You can't keep running away, Aliet."
"You'd be surprised."
"Et..."
I look at him, smiling sadly. "Thank you for coming to find me, Sether."
Would you catch me if I fall
Out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse
Down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I feel like I just don't need this
He takes my hands and pulls me up. My trenchcoat flapps in the breeze. Startled, I look down at my clothing. There were a few specks of Irken blood-rose colored Irken blood-on it. "Aliet?" he asks, watching me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I say. "Nothing's wrong anymore. A smell lingers in the air. Oil. Jendai. I smile, a genuine, gleeful smile. "Are you hungry? I have some money. Wanna go get some breakfast?"
"Sure thing," he says. Then he puts his hands gently on my shoulders. God he's so much like Jendai and Zim all rolled into a human body. "Promise me Aliet," he orders. "Promise me you're going to be okay. You worry me."
I smile at him, tears threatening. "As long as night comes and Invader Zim is on TV, I swear I'll be okay." He takes my hands and leads me off.
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in
Between
What is real and just a dream
What is real and just a dream
Behind our retreating backs, two silouettes smile before vanishing back into the shadows.
What is real and just a dream...
(This was odd, I know. But I was feeling depressed. Writing this helped. I'm not gonna go die now. You don't have to review. I'd just like people to know what I was thinking today. This is probably gonna be my only SI fic, so, if you don't like SI, don't worry. I'm working on collateral damage all right!? I just have writer's block! bye! AF.)