Run away
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Kaji was running. He was running at the corridors of NERV.
'I must get into my hiding place.'
The spy thought desperately and kept running towards the other end of the corridor.
Then he noticed a small cleaners room and thought that it was empty and opened the door, only to see Shinji and Rei kissing in their plug suits.
Shinji turned to look at the guy at the door and then released Rei's butt from his hands and walked to the door and said: "This room is occupied, so find another one." And closed the door, locking it.
'Shit! It's getting closer!' He screamed in his head and looked at the corner where the noise was coming.
He started running again towards the medical room. Locked, and no time to pick it.
Again, running away.
Then he noticed a door which labelled: Men's locker room.
He opened it and saw Makoto on the floor and Misato on top of him, riding on his you know what.
Makoto saw Kaji and said: "I finally got her and now you will never get her." He grinned evilly and raised his middle finger for him to see in Stifler style.
He closed the door in panic and continued his run.
'Kami-sama, why are you doing this to me?'
Kaji's day was not going very well.
Kaji then saw Ritsuko's lab and tried to enter, but it was locked. He tried to yank it open, but it was no use and he heard a voice from the other side. "I'm busy, come back later."
'Shit, shit, shit, shit! I would give my left ball for a hideout right now.'
The noise was still coming closer. He had to get away from it.
After running again, he saw a meeting room. He tried his luck and it opened.
But there was a meeting taking place. Gendo was speaking with SEELE.
"GET OUT OF HERE MR. RYOJI. WE CAN'T HEAR OUR LIES WHEN YOU ARE PANTING LIKE THAT!" Gendo shouted and fired a couple of rounds next to him.
Kaji got out from there and after closing the door, he had to run.
'Why does this shit keep happening to me!?'
After running again, he noticed that there was a door at the end of the corridor.
'I am trapped, if it is locked.'
When he reached the door, he slowly turned the handle. It was open.
'YES! Finally!'
He closed the door and locked it. It was a one-way in room.
'Shit! I can't get out of here. No air vents and no windows. This is it.'
Since he couldn't get out of the room, he had to try his luck in trying to hold his pursuer outside.
Kaji sat on the only furniture in the room, the table and looked at the door with pleading eyes.
The door started panging and after a minute, it stopped.
But then he noticed that the hinges were giving up.
The person behind the door was unscrewing them.
'AWW SHIT!'
Then, the door was without hinges and it was kicked down by none other than.
"Hey Asuka." Kaji said, knowing that he was doomed.
"HEY KAJI! This swish army knife you gave me became very handy. But now, do you know why I love you so much?"
"Because I act like a real man and I am very charming."
"Yes that's why, but the real reason is because you are so hard to get. And I know that those who are the hardest ones to get, are the most greatest ones. And now I got you." She said and leaped to him.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" He screamed when he was violated by Asuka.
Everyone in Geofront heard it and some recognized it as Kaji's voice and knew he was in trouple, since they saw Asuka chasing him.
Authors Note: I know, this ends in a place where it shouldn't end, but this is a humor fanfic, and I tried my best to make it humorous. But I can honestly say that my humor is pretty dry. And I'm not sure if this makes you gag or laugh, this would have made me laugh, if it was made in anime in a way I imagined it. Please forgive me for wasting your time with this.