Disclaimer: I own nothing but Jess
I last saw him enter the pod. That was the last I saw of him. He looked at me and he must have seen my worry for him, going on that mission to find the Xindi bastards who killed overseven million lives, souls that were once living breathing human beings.
"Don't worry Jess. We won't be long."
"Watch your backs and I mean it"
That was also the last I spoke to him. Those eyes, deep with the colour of Emerald Tree Boas I came to love so much.
He climbed into the pod, along with Lieutenant Reed, Commander Tucker and Captain Archer. Several MACO's were already inside the pod waiting for the four men to enter the pod and get started with the important mission. Major Hayes was with them.
Hayes. He's a guy I couldn't care less about. His sarcastic remarks that he makes sure the senior staff doesn't hear of. No wonder Lieutenant Reed can't stand him.He jokes about how I came to love a man from an organisation I hate so much. I don't hate it; I just came to live with it. It's life. And life has to be lived
He was gone for me at that point. Gone. And there was nothing I could do but scream and to shout when I came to hear of the news that would be coming a day and a half later.
After the pod had its hatch closed we left the launch bay. Sub Commander T'Pol was silent as we walked into the control room to de-compressurize the room we had just left. I understood why he had to go. Some of his family was killed in the Xindi attack on Earth. Like his Aunt Cheryl. She was living in Florida at the time. He shared Commander Tucker's hate of the Xindi but his dreams were lesser than that of Commander Tucker's.
I knew why Commander Tucker was visiting Sub Commander T'Pol's quarters every few nights. I had read up on Vulcan rituals and the language was both interesting and complicated.
I couldn't understand why the Xindi would want to do that just because we were apparently going to exterminate their race in the near future. All they had to do was to alert Starfleet Command of what they would possiblybe doing in the futureand ask Starfleet Command not to do it.
The pod left the bay. I closed my eyes and prayed he would come back.
"They will return Ensign."
"Yes Ma'am. Dead or alive is another matter"
Sub Commander T'Pol had nodded to show she understood what I meant. She was one of the few who knew of my relationship with the MACO I loved. She had caught us kissing in the Observation Room, we explained and she kept it confidential. But it did make Sub Commander T'Pol and me good friends.
We went back to the bridge and watched the little pod move off towards the planet. I knew he may not return and I accepted that but I knew I wouldn't be able to live with it.
I didn't say goodbye. Not yet. I couldn't do that. After the pod disappeared I left the bridge and went back to work in Engineering. Lieutenant Hess was busy as usual so we didn't chat much. Hess and I were good friends and often talked. But today was different. We didn't talk. We kept on being busy, to occupy ourselves and to stop thinking about what my lover was doing on the planet below us. I don't think the Xindi knew they were coming and I prayed they wouldn't know they were there.
He's left.