Disclaimer: You'll notice that I don't use names in here, so I might own this, but I don't care. Can you imagine some poor sucker buying this? Ha. Don't make me laugh.
A/N: No names, but this is Sev's POV, mostly directed at Lily. No, the "third member" is not James, it's God. I noticed that there's no religion anywhere in the books, and most fic writers avoid that as well. So I thought I'd give it a go.
Your faith left its marks on me
Teeth in my soul
Nails in my spirit
The agony of ecstasy pulling on us in a torturous bliss that both of us wanted and neither of us condoned
The third member
Do we need him?
Can we live without it
Cant we be good enough
Aren't I good enough?
Why do you need
Something
To
Hold
On
To
When theres nothing.
Ever.
To stop you from being just as good
As the rest of us
And just as faithless
As the rest of us
Godless creatures
More flesh and blood than mind and spirit in this place that you think soul meets body
Godless creatures.
Not one of you
Not one of your kind
Struggling along as best we can without
God.
And failing
And succeeding
And compromising
Just as much as you
Are you still better than us?
Does that make you better than us?
Can you hold God to account
Can you make him stand trial
Can you make him hear your prayers?
Or are you just whispering into thin air
Just like the rest of us
When we realize that we don't believe
When we realize we don't have faith
But are hoping
Wishing
Wanting
Praying
That theres something more that cares about us because
We don't want to die
You.
You don't want to die
You have a heaven
Yet you're not ready to go
You have something more
Shouldn't that make you more willing to sacrifice
More willing to compromise
More tending to selflessness
More tending to helping others
No.
It does not.
You
Your people
All of you
Are just the same as us.
Just as ready to live
Just as ready to Please, Please God-
What?
Please
Not
Die.
You don't know who you're asking any more than we do
But you hope
And pray
And believe
Thats why you were drawn to me
Thats why you thought you were in love
Thats why you tried so hard to make me love you
Because
I was one of those godless creatures
I had no faith
I had no faith in faith
I had no faith in the faithful
And yet
I tried to be good
I tried to live a life worth living
I tried to live a life that was good enough for me
And good enough for you
And good enough for everyone else
But not God.
But I lived
And I loved
In the world
And of the world
And you saw
That I didnt hold with God and that I was still good enough.
That I loved you without caring about God, but caring about you
That I didn't believe in heaven but still didn't care if I died
As long as I died for someone I loved
Like
You.
Thats why I noticed you
Thats why I knew we werent in love
Thats why I tried so hard to tell you
That I
Didn't
Feel it too
Because
After all
I did.
You managed to convince me that God was real
And I became one of Gods creatures.
And you learned to live without God
And still be a good person
And live and love out of sight of the Lord.
And we lived
And we loved
And we lived together
And we loved each other
And as I look at you now
Lying there in that bed
Six feet under and that much farther away from the heaven I don't believe in
I wonder who got the better end of the deal.
Because we loved each other
I believed in God
You believed in me
And now I believe
As I tried to tell you all along
God
Does
Not
Care.
A/N: Yeahhh, I wrote this when I was in a really dark place. Only fit it to the HP universe later, though I think it's a really good portrayal of Sev's emotions through his life with Lily and after she died. Anyway, reviews please! I'd like to put out even better stuff in the future. Make both of us happy. ;)