This is a one-shot about Tony and Ziva. After a case Tony thinks about something the wife of the victim said about love and comes to realize that he has to change something. He realizes that he is tired of pretending and can't keep his feelings bottled up inside forever. I hope you like it and I'd appreciate your opinion on this little story.
I'm sorry about any mistakes and sadly I don't own NCIS or the characters.
The Cognition
It is a late Friday night and Tony is sitting in his swivel chair in the bullpen. His colleagues had left hours ago and normally he would also be gone and would have a hot date with a blonde girl from a bar, but tonight something is different. Today he has realized that he wants something else. Something permanent. He is tired of having all this one night stand and going home afterwards, so that he doesn't have to cuddle with a woman he actually doesn't want to be with. He is tired of coming home and sitting alone on his couch with a bottle of beer and a cold pizza. He wants to look forward to going home and find a loved person who is there waiting for him.
The cognition came this afternoon in the bullpen, while he was watching a certain person:
It is another day at work and as usual Tony pretends to work on the case. He looks concentrated into the computer screen and everybody who is passing by thinks he is seriously working, but actually he is playing pinball. Although he is not doing anything most of the time, he has surprisingly good results and always manages to shine in front of Gibbs. After a while he decides to look what his co-workers do and looks up from his desk. At first he glances over to the right, where McGee is working on the financial records of the victim and the family. They all have the assignment to dig up everything about the victim and especially about the brother-in-law. Tony is supposed to dig up every dirty secret of the family and find the truth about the relationships within the family. Gibbs has told him that every family has a dirty little secret that waits to get uncovered and that he will definitely find something. Of course he was right, like always and Tony indeed found a ugly secret, to be accurate an really ugly secret, but that was almost an hour ago.
McGee is totally lost in his own world, so he doesn't even realize that Tony is watching him. He is not doing anything interesting, so Tony turns his head and glances over to his other co-worker. She is sitting right across from him and she is supposed to go through the phone records and pay attention to uncommon numbers. Ziva is typing concentrated into the keyboard and from time to time she writes something down. Her brown curls lie on her shoulders and move with every motion of her body. The scattered sun rays of the afternoon shine onto her soft skin and make her even more beautiful. Tony just stares at her for a few minutes, just admiring the feeling of ease and comfort in her presence. She doesn't seem to notice his stare and even if she is simply ignoring it.
Suddenly Tony remembers the words of the wife of the victim. Of course she was totally in shock and almost broke down, like all dependants of a murder victim, but something she said made her special for Tony. Between her sobs and her tears she said something about love that made Tony sensitive. He even recalls her exact words: "If you have met your soul mate it actually doesn't matter if the person is alive or dead, because this person will always be there with you. No matter where this person is at the moment, this somebody will always be at home waiting for you. You'll never alone again." Of course she said that to convince herself and to find a way to handle this sort of loss, but it made Tony think of his own life. Now that he is thinking again about this words, he realizes that the woman described exactly what he wants. He doesn't want to be alone anymore…he was his whole life.
He is torn out of his thoughts by the feeling of two eyes staring at him. He looks up from his folded hands, where his gaze has dropped and his eyes instantly lock with the pair of brown ones of his female co-worker.
In that very moment Tony realized that the person he wants to be with, is sitting right in front of him. He always had feelings for Ziva, but now he can finally understand them. He can finally admit to himself that Ziva is the woman he was looking for the whole time: His soul mate. She was always there, but he just couldn't see her in the way he sees her now. In this case the proverb "Love is blind", totally fits.
The cognition hit Tony really hard and he doesn't know how to handle this. On the one hand he wants to tell her, but on the other hand he's afraid of her reaction and that everything they already have would be destroyed. That is the reason that he is still sitting in the bullpen and hasn't gone home yet. He is trying to decide what he will do, but it is more difficult than he has thought. The relationship between them was always difficult, but he can't deny his feelings anymore. They both deserve to be happy, especially after this last weeks. He just wants to know if it would make her happy to be with him. It would make things much easier. Suddenly he hears footsteps behind him and he quickly turns around, starting at the sound. Before he even realizes who is standing behind him, he feels the familiar ache on his head and instantly knows who is there. "Rule Number 11, Dinozzo!", says Gibbs while he walks to his desk and takes something out of his drawer. "I know Boss, "When the work is done, go home.", answers the senior agent, but doesn't look up at Gibbs. Gibbs hears the desperation in Tony's voice and senses that something is bothering him.
There is only one person who is able to make Tony that desperate. The beautiful, Israeli agent who is his partner. Of course Gibbs has rules against dating a co-worker, but they are totally in love. Also they aren't able to see it yet, Gibbs sees is every time they look at each other. Their eyes are full of attraction and care for each other and Gibbs is taken back to the time when he was with Jenny. He would do anything to have her back and just feel her lips on his one more time, but it is too late. He would never be able to do that again and he wants to prevent his two agents from a life like this. A life full of regrets and missed chances. They both deserve happiness, besides he has broken his rule himself, in Paris with the first woman he truly loved after the death of Shannon and Kelly. He decides that rule Number 12 is not important for them, so he says only two words, while he walks to the elevator. "Tell her, Dinozzo…Tell her!" With this words he steps into the elevator and the bullpen is silent again.
Tony can't believe what he just heard and he can't decide which fact is more alarming. The fact that Gibbs just gave him permission to break one of his own rules, or the fact that he knew exactly of whom he was thinking about. For a few minutes he just gazes into space and thinks about Gibbs words. He is right, I should tell her…she deserves to know! With that he stands up, grabs his things and sets off to his car.
After a while he is on the way to Ziva's apartment and while he is waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, he turns on his radio. Just then the presenter of the news says his last words and they play a new song of a famous singer.
She was always there
Right in front of you
You were blind
And you just couldn't see her love
You denied your own feelings
Pushed them aside
Now it is time
Time to tell her
I love you and I'm sorry
It took so long to realize
To realize that I have feelings for you
I hope you forgive me
And we can be together
'Cause I'm so in love with you, so in love
She has waited for you
Since you first met
She is tired of pretending
And she wants to be your girl
You cannot expect her
To keep everything bottled up
Everyone sees it and just thinks
Tell her finally
Tell her
I love you and I'm sorry
It took so long to realize
To realize that I have feelings for you
I hope you forgive me
And we can be together
'Cause I'm so in love you
Trust me she will be happy
And fall into your arms
All worries are forgotten
And the anger is gone
She will look at you
And your eyes lock instantly
She'll see the true meaning of you words
And she will say
I love you too and I'm glad
Glad that you finally told me
Of course I will forgive you
And we'll be together forever and always
'Cause I'm also so much in love with you, with you
As the song ends, he still waits at the traffic lights, but they have turned green minutes ago. During the entire song he was thinking about Ziva and he hasn't noticed that he can cross the intersection. After a few more minutes he is forced back to reality as a loud noise sounds behind him. Another car stand behind his and the driver honks to spotlight the green light. Quickly Tony steps on the gas and hits the road. The whole drive to Ziva's apartment Tony feels like he is trance and can't really concentrate on the traffic. Fortunately only a few people are on the road at this late hour. Tony keeps thinking about the lyrics of the song and repeats them in his head again and again. It was like the song was exactly about Ziva and him. How is that possible? It's too much of a coincidence. His brain tells him that this cannot be real, because he doesn't believe in coincidences, like Gibbs, but this is really strange. It is like somebody watched them and then wrote a song about them. also this was a little bit awkward it gave him a little bit more confidence that he is doing the right thing. He will get this over and done with, because he is not sure that he will ever have the confidence again to tell her. It is now or never.
He parks his car in front of her apartment and hesitates for an instant. He takes one deep breath and then he finally gets out of his car. As he walks towards the front door, he has grave doubts about his decision. Suddenly he is not sure anymore that it will go as planned. He is afraid that she would turn him down and that they could never work together again. however his ego is far too big, that he would now turn around and go home, so he gathers all his courage and opens the heavy wooden front door of the house. Inside greets a comfortable warmth and it smells a little bit like . He doesn't know it which floor her apartment is, so he looks at every nameplate on his way up. "Smith", "Coleman", "Brown" and finally on the third floor there is a nameplate with "David". He can't find a doorbell so he knocks on the door and waits for a response. What Tony doesn't know is that he is watched the whole time from an old lady one floor above him.
The old lady stands on the staircase and watched the new visitor. She never saw him here before, but she can see that he is extremely nervous. The owner of the apartment, Ziva David, is a good friend of her and she is curious who that handsome guy is. He knocks again on her door, but of course got no answers. She left minutes ago for her daily walk in the Anacostia Park. He looks around and the old lady can see the sadness and disappointment in his eyes. Normally she wouldn't do something like that, but he seems trustful and like a nice guy, so she walks down the stairs towards the visitor. Tony is just about to go as he hears the voice of an old lady. "Hello, mister…can I help you?", she asks with a slight smile on her lips. "Em…I don't think so, but thank you…", Tony answers, unsure what the lady wants and turns around to go down the stairs. Just as he takes the first step, her voice sounds again and he stops dead in his tracks. "She is out for a walk in the Anacostia Park, like every night…she just left a few minutes ago. Normally she starts at the south end from the Baltimore-Washington Parkway." Tony turns around again and looks confused at the old woman. What the hell is she talking about? His confusion must be quite obvious cause the woman adds. "Ziva…I know you were looking for her…" Tony decides to not further question what she said and just take the information. He is glad that she told her, because if he doesn't confess his love for Ziva tonight, he is afraid that he will never do. A smile crosses his face and while he is half down the stairs he shouts a simple "Thank you!" to the woman and then quickly leaves the house.
The old woman could see the gratefulness in his eyes as she told him Ziva's whereabouts and she doesn't regret her decision. Normally she wouldn't tell a stranger where her neighbour had gone, but she feels that this time it was the right thing to do. As he watches him walking – almost running – down the stairs he cannot help but smile and mumbles something to herself that sound like "Young love…Difficult." Somehow the old woman has a feeling that she will see the stranger more often in this house.
After leaving the house, Tony set off for the Anacostia Park through the dark night. It is a starry night and the moon lights the street. The Park is near the apartment, so after a few minutes he already reaches the south end. He is glad that the moon is shining, otherwise he couldn't see where he is going. The treetops block the light from the streetlights, so he can barely see his hand in front of his face. After some minutes he reaches a glade and there she is. Sitting on a park bank, there is his partner Ziva David. She looks up into the sky and admires the stars. He can see a smile on her face and he cannot help but smile either. With every step his heart pounds louder and he is almost sure that everyone around is able to hear it. She doesn't seem to notice him until he steps onto a stick. Her head instantly turns into his direction and her hand is on her holster. The shines onto Tony's face, so Ziva immediately recognises him and relaxes. "Tony…what are you doing here?" He walks the remaining meters towards her and their eyes lock. He sees the confusion in her face and as soon as he stands in front of her, he starts to explain. "Your neighbour told me, where to find me…you know the old lady…she must have seen that I knocked on your door so she told me about your night walks in the Anacostia Park…" He pauses for a moment to find the right words. "I'm here…because…because I wanna tell you something…" Tony shifts a little bit closer to her and she lays her palms onto his chest. There are so close, that they can hear each other breathing. "Today at the crime scene, the wife of the victim said something to me…something that made me think of…things…" he struggles to find the right words to explain everything. "I realized that I don't want to pretend anymore. I don't want to pretend that I don't care about you, Ziva…cause I do…a lot…and…" Tony is cut of by the feeling of Ziva's soft lips on his and he can't think straight anymore.
It is a soft and sweet kiss and first, but it soon gets passionate and every unsolved feeling of the past weeks explode at the same time. Ziva's tongue slide over Tony's bottom lip and then begs for entrance to his mouth, that he gladly allows. After a while they have to break apart in need for air and they stand in front of each other, breathing heavy. Both of them try to handle what just happened and Tony is the first who dares to speak. He wants to finally say what he wanted for years. "Ziva…I..I love you…" It is finally out and he quickly looks to the ground, not able to look her in the eyes. For a moment she says nothing and they only hear the sound of the leafs waving in the wind. Then Ziva detaches one hand from his chest and puts it under his chin. She forced him to look at her and when he does, he can see the tears in her eyes. Besides the tears, there is something else and Tony can't believe what he is seeing. There is pure love written all over her face and her next words only confirm that. "Tony…I don't wanna pretend anymore…It has been to long…" she strikes over his cheek as she finally says the words. "I love you too, Tony…" Now Tony has also tears in his eyes and he can't believe that his dream actually came true. He pulls her closer to himself and her arms immediately wrap around his neck as their head come closer and closer. Their lips meet again and they stand their, kissing in the moonlight for the rest of the night.
The End
I hope you enjoyed it and please review. I'd really appreciate that and I also hope that you liked the song…