Hi everyone!
I'm lauracd but I don't know why I just couldn't log in with my old data so I had to create a new account in order to finally continue my story...I'm sorry it took me so long. I hope you'll read and like it! I'm sorry for the mistakes...English is not my first language.
Here's the first part of the story "A breath of fresh air" and then I'm posting a new chapter.
Stay "tuned" for more!
Review are more then welcome!
CHAPTER 1
Maura was tossing and turning in her bed.
It was 4 in the morning and she was wide awake.
She tried every trick in the book. She counted the sheep, she repeted each element in the periodic table, she recited all the bones of the human body in alphabetical order... but nothing happened.
Sleep was sidestepping her again.
It has been the same every night, for too many nights.
She couldn't put her mind to rest.
She seemed unable to stop thinking about that day.
Images of Jane with that gun in her hands, shooting Patrick Doyle; images of her father on the ground, bleeding, looking at her with a plead in his eyes were filling her head.
It was like going back in time. Everything, every action was vividly replaying in her eyes.
Maura Isles was there all over again, kneeling near Patrick Doyle, trying to save his life and pushing away the person that meant the most to her. The person that was still meaning the most to her in spite of what had happened.
And Jane's eyes. The look her best friend gave her in that moment was so defenceless, so terrified, so surprised, so pained.
Maura had been thinking about that moment day and night.
A lot happened since then.
Her father was dead.
She was calling Patrick Doyle her father now. She was considering him her father even though she already had one.
Patrick Doyle had been a bad man. He had been a merciless criminal. He had taken so many lives. But, in his own twisted way, she knew that he had loved her dearly.
Her reaction when she saw Jane shooting him had surprised her. She wasn't aware of being so attached to that man till she saw him die.
It was difficult to explain, it was difficult to understand, even for her, but she could feel it inside.
She had never let her heart rule her brain; she had never let her heart decide.
But, in that split second, when she heard the shot, when she saw Doyle falling to the ground, she felt her heart break. Jane broke it.
In that instant she had been so angry, so disappointed, so hurt by Jane's actions.
– My best friend has betrayed me. She hasn't kept her word. Jane has put her job and Dean before me. She doesn't care about me. I'm alone. I've lost her -.
But those thoughts had floated in her mind only for a handful of seconds.
The pain, the fear and the love she saw in Jane's eyes eraised all the hurt and the rage.
But it had been too late.
"Don't touch him! I mean it! Don't you dare touch him!"
Those terrible words had been spoken. The look she gave Jane, so firce, so full of anger, betrayal, sorrow and dispair had been powerful.
Jane had been pierced by it.
It had been three weeks.
Three long, painful, uneventful, terrible weeks.
She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't smile.
Yes, she could still breath...but every breath was excruciating.
She saw Jane every day at the office but it had been three weeks since she had heard her beautiful, raspy, unique, sensual voice.
They hadn't spoken a word to one another in what seemed like an eternity.
And she didn't know why.
They exchanged long, meaningful, eloquent look. It was all.
They wanted to be close to one another, they wanted to touch one another, they wanted to be there for one another, to share a laugh, a hug, to share a tear, to know how their day had been. It was clear, it was spoken in those stares.
But their pride, their stubborness, their fear prevented them from actually speaking those feeling aloud.
And so it had been three weeks.
The words that had been difficult to utter that damn day were now impossible to speak.
The rift that had opened between them that damn day was now as large as the Grand Canyon, or it seemed, to them at least.
But, as the saying goes, something good always comes from bad things.
And something good really came.
Maura realized the truth.
Maura Isles was in love with Jane Rizzoli.
She was certain of that.
A pain so devastating could only be caused by an equally devastating and powerful love.
The time apart made her realize that being without Jane was torture. She missed her eyes, her voice, her touch, her unique scent, her humor and her heart. She missed everything Jane Rizzoli was.
Being able to see her everyday without being able to connect with her was killing Maura.
It was true, after all: you don't know what you've got untill it's gone.
Even at the office everything had changed. The lightness, the banter, the warmth that permeated the place before the accident were gone, replaced by silence.
Every time Maura and Jane were in the same room together with their friends a veil of embarassment came down. Everyone was walking on tiptoes around them.
Jane was thinner, sad, pale, lifeless.
Maura was silent. Her make up was flawed, her dresses and her shoes didn't match. She was the shadow of herself.
Everyone in the office knew what was happening and everyone was affected by it.
With all these thoughts filling her head, Maura decided that a breath of fresh air was needed. She needed to clear her mind.
She had to do something.
She had to find her way back to her best friend.
She had to find a way to be with the woman she loved more than life itself.
She got up.
She walked into her wardrobe and put on a pair of leggins, a pair of flat shoes and a simple white shirt. She didn't care for apparences anymore. She put on a jacket, took her bag and headed for the garage.
Twenty minutes later she had parked her car and was walking towards a grocery shop.
Their favourite grocery shop.
It was opened day and night. It was near Jane's home.
It always took them no more than five minutes to walk there.
She wanted a beer. Jane's beer. She needed something to feel closer to her.
She entered the shop and started walking down the aisles thinking about what Jane would have bought if she had been there. Beer, marshmallows, chocolate, bacon...delicious unhealty things. Her favourites.
The ring of the bell attached to the door suggested the arrival of a new customer.
She istinctively turned her attention to the tall woman that had just entered the shop when something caught her eyes.
Something shining.
A gun.
2
Something bad was about to happen. She was sure.
Maura wasn't a hero. There was a thin line separating courage and stupidity.
She was clever enough not to cross that line.
But Maura wasn't a coward either.
She wanted to help. She needed to help in every way she could. Surely she wouldn't jump in and disarm the bad guy or, in this case, the bad woman.
Leave it to Jane to do reckless heroic things.
Maura was in the shadows, hiding behind a shelf full of cans of coke and bottles of beer.
The woman couldn't be able to see her. If she was there to grab some money and run she would hardly walk around the place and waste precious time. She would go straight to the counter, take the money and flee.
It was hope speaking.
Maura's brain was telling a different story.
There was something odd.
The stereotype of a robber was embodied by a man. Not by a woman. Statistics, studies said and proved that.
She hoped with all her heart that this woman knew what she was doing. There was nothing worst than a criminal letting panic and fear rule them.
Maura, on the contrary, was a very controlled person.
She always tried to be rational, to weight all the options, she always tried to analize a situation and focus, to behave properly. Her instinct was often letf
unheard.
She was afraid. Only a fool wouldn't be.
She was also aware that there was a realistic possibility of something going wrong in that shop.
She couldn't control the situation and she hated losing control.
She considered herself a pretty strong person. She was balanced and rational but she had a weakness. Her Achilles heel.
Maura was certain that she would have been terrorized and paralized by fear if Jane had been there with her. She couldn't stand the thought of losing Jane.
Images of the woman she loved lying on the ground, wounded, lifeless and the feeling of warm, thick, red liquid running through her hands would haunt her till the day she died.
Help.
She needed help. And she could think of only one person.
She carefully, as quietly as possible, rummaged in her bag for her cell phone.
She found it and she took it out.
She looked around.
The woman was in front of the counter, she was pointing the gun at the clerk. She was saying something about money. She seemed very upset. She appeared to be sweating profusely and her hands were trembling.
The doctor in Maura couldn't refrain from diagnosing the woman. Slight confusion, sweat, tremor...she could be having withdrawal symptoms.
That meant that the woman wasn't in control of herself anymore. She was unpredictable.
So Maura decided to act.
She took her phone and dialed the familiar number.
She waited.
It happened in an instant.
A beautiful voice: "Maura? Maura, are you there?"
A meow.
Something orange leapt in the corner of her eye.
A loud crash.
Quick footsteps.
A woman yelling.
A shot.
Pain.
Unbereable pain.
That voice again.
Metallic, distant, frantic, terrified: "Maura? Maura what happened?"
3
The ringing of her cell phone awaked Jane from her restless slumber.
She hadn't been able to sleep since that day.
Every time she closed her eyes she could only see Maura and that cold, deadly look in her eyes.
She took the phone from her bedside table and looked at the caller ID.
Maura.
Her Maura.
Maura was calling her in the middle of the night.
Why?
A small hope raised in her heart. Maybe Maura was finally ready to talk to her. She had been waiting for that moment for three weeks.
Jane had never felt so powerless, so hurt. Her heart was broken.
She carried on like a shadow of herself. She had lost weight. She didn't eat. She didn't sleep. She couldn't care less of her body. She needed Maura back. She need her best friend back.
Her best friend. Wasn't Maura something more than that?
She had never felt anything so strong, so meaningful for another human being in her life. She had never loved anyone that much in her life.
And it was love. She was sure.
Maura wasn't just her best friend. She was the one. The woman she was in love with.
She had felt so guilty in that three weeks. She had shooted the father of the woman she loved. She hadn't realize the dept of Maura's feelings for Patrick Doyle untill the moment.
She had felt so alone. So empty.
Maybe Maura was ready to forgive her.
She hadn't had the courage to talk to her. To explain her actions.
Truth was there was nothing to explain. There were no excuses.
She had betrayed her best friend trust. She had hurt her best friend so badly and she wasn't sure that the wound would ever heal.
She could only look at Maura and hope that her eyes could tell Maura what she was feeling, how much she was missing her, how much she loved her.
She wanted nothing more that to reach for Maura and held her so tight, till the pain went away.
Sometimes, when they found themselves looking at each other, she thought that maybe, just maybe, Maura understood her silent pleading. That Maura shared the same desires.
She frantically answered the phone: "Maura?"
On the other end of the line she could hear strange noises in the background. "Maura, are you there?"
Then she heard it.
She could have recognized that sound even if she had been deaf.
It was a shot.
Someone was shooting near Maura.
A strangled cry. A cry of pain.
Then a loud thump.
In that moment blood frroze in her veins. She was terrified. Something had happened. She could feel it in her guts.
"Maura?" she yelled in the phone.
"Maura, what happened?" she was ready to cry.
She heard a crash and then the line went dead...
4
Jane was sweating, her hands were trembling, her eyes were misty. A veil of tears was forming there.
She had never been so scared in all her life.
She tried to call her best friend again but the telephone was dead.
Maura.
Then something clicked in and she was back into action. The officer and the detective in her were alive again, taking the front seat. It wasn't the time for tears.
She had to find Maura. Immediately.
But how?
Korsak and Frost.
She dialed Korsak's number and waited anxiously for the familiar voice to answer.
After many endless instants she heard the sergeant: "Hello? Jane?" he sounded surprised.
Jane started to speak frantically, trying to say everything she had to say in a matter of seconds. She didn't want to keep her phone engaged. Maura could be trying to call her again...
"Korsak, I need you. Something happened to Maura. I need to find her Korsak. Is Frost there?"
"Jane, please, calm down. What happened to Maura?" said Korsak raising his voice.
If Jane was so agitated and so worried something was really wrong.
"Listen Korsak, there's no time. I need Frost to track down Maura's cell phone. I'm afraid it isn't going to be easy. It maybe be out of service or something like that. I can't reach her. Please, track the phone, now. I'll be there as soon as possible."
"Jane, Jane, what..." but it was too late. Jane was already gone.
"Frost, it was Rizzoli. She was very upset. She wanted you to track down Dr. Isles phone immediately. She said something had happened to Maura but she didn't say anything else. She was beside herself...She is coming here." said Korsak.
"Ok...I'll try" said Frost, with a determinated look in his eyes.
He went straight to the computer and started pressing an endless series of keys on his keyboard. Korsak was right behind him, looking at the monitor. He was tapping his fingers on the back of Frost's chair, trying to ease some tension. Waiting.
"Damn it..." said Frost, with a frustrated sigh. Silence was filling the room. The tickling of the clock a remainder of time passing by, unstoppable.
"Come on Frost..." said Korsak, trying to encourage him.
After a few moments Frost spoke again. He was resigned. He slammed his first on the table and, looking at the floor, said: "I can't trace the phone Korsak. I don't have a signal. The phone is dead. I can't do it. I'm sorry."
The two men were now thinking exactly the same thing.
What's happening?
Jane was in warrior mode.
She threw the phone on the bed and got up in a flash. She put on some random clothes: a pair of worn out jeans and a grey t-shirt. She put on her shoes, without socks; there wasn't time for that.
She took her phone, her badge and her gun and run out.
She was approching her car on the side of the road when her phone rang again.
She took it hoping to read Maura's name on the display.
No luck.
The name she read sent a shiver down her spine.
"Frankie?"
Her brother voice on the other side of the phone was low. He seemed to be esitant, shy.
"Jane...listen. Something happened..."
"Maura." she said. It wasn't a question. She knew it.
"Jane...She's..." he was looking for the right words to say. He knew how much her sister loved the doctor. He knew she was going to take the news badly. His thoughts were interrupted by Jane's cry of frustration and fear.
"Damn it, Frankie! Just tell me. What happened?" asked Jane with a commanding tone. Her voice was deep, low, cracked by the impeding tears.
"I'm at the Eat and Run... An armed robbery...Maura had been shot..."
A moment of silence followed.
Then Jane whispered: "Frankie...is she..." She didn't say the words. She couldn't possibly bring herself to say those words. It would be too much.
5
"No Jane, no!" replied immediately Frankie, trying to reassure his sister.
"She's hanging on. They took her to St. James Hospital."
A sigh of relief escaped Jane's lips and she let the tears stream down her face without restrain.
"Go, Jane...I'll be there as soon as I can" said Franie softly.
"Thank you"
Jane rushed to the hospital. She broke every rules in the book to get there as fast as her car allowed her to.
She left her it in front of the ER's doors with the keys in the ignition and sprang toward the entrance.
The nurse at the reception was reading some papers in an anonymous folder when Jane arrived running at the desk.
The nurse, a woman in her late fifties, with brown hair and a big pair of glasses on her nose, looked up at Jane when the detective started talking without waiting for an invitation.
The waiting, the tension, the fear for Maura's life were consuming her.
She needed news on Maura more than she needed her next breath.
"I'm looking for Dr. Maura Isles. She was brought here a short time ago. Gunshot wound. How is she? Where is she? I need to see her."
The nurse stood up and said kindly: "Please, calm down. Are you a relative?"
"No, I'm not a relative but I need to know something, please!" asked Jane pleadingly. Her face, stained with dry tears, was now soaked by new teardrops.
"I'm sorry. I really I'm. But I can't disclose any private information about our patients unless you're a relative. It's the regulations" she said in a calm and understanding voice.
Jane couldn't take it anymore. She exploded. She dried her face with the back of her hand in gesture of irritation and flashed the badge and gun to unknowing and blameless nurse. She hated to abuse her power but she was beyond what was right or wrong in that instant.
She roared with a fierce look in her eyes, the tone of her voice low and threatening: "Screw the regulations. I don't give a damn about it. I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, Boston Homicide, and the woman I'm looking for works for the Police Department, too. She's the Chief Medical Examiner. I want to know where she is now!Tell me where she is or I'll arrest you for obstruction. Is that clear?"
The commotion made more than a few eyes look in their direction with curious glances.
A doctor chose that moment to exit the ER and walked toward Jane with a folder in her hands.
Jane saw the woman approching and started off in her direction, ready to repeat her previous performance.
With the same tone and with the same force as before she started to talk: "Listen, I'm Detective Jane Rizzoli, Bost..."
She was interrupted by the doctor raising a hand and silently asking her to stop. With a firm but gentle tone the woman said: "Please, Detective. I know who you are. Try to calm down, ok? Please. Come with me, have a seat."
The doctor gestured for Jane to seat down on one of the grey plastic chairs lined up against the wall of the corridor.
Jane nodded.
With the back of her hand she again wiped away the tears that were running down her face unashamed and followed the doctor to the chairs, taking a seat.
"Please" the detective whispered with a cracked voice. She was so tired, weak. She was trembling now. "Please, tell me something. She's the woman I love. Please." She was begging the doctor. Her shoulders felt so heavy. The head she usually held so high was now lowered, her eyes fixing the spotless floor.
The woman put a comforting hand on Jane's knees and said with a calm, gentle voice: "I'm Doctor Kate Green. Please, calm down. Take deep breaths.
The woman took one of Jane's trembling hands in hers. "You're freezing. I'll have the nurse find a jacket or something for you."
Jane nodded squeezing the doctor's hands. She wasn't very fond of physical contact, expecially with strangers, but in those moments she needed something to hold on to.
"Thank you" she whispered.
The doctor nodded and continued: "Detective, I'm the head physician here. I can give you information about Doctor Isles. I know her well. She was my friend, too. I'm sorry for what happened."
The doctor smiled weakly and, letting go of Jane's hands, she opened the folder she was carring.
"Ok, you're listed has Maura next of keen so I can give you any information you want about her."
"Thank you." Jane said with a look of relief and gratitude in her eyes.
"Please, tell me how she is. What happened?"
"She fighting. She's strong. Maura was shooted at the chest. The bullet missed the heart and went right through her chest. It punctured her left lung and it pierced an arthery. The force of the shot knocked her to the ground and she must have fallen right onto her left shoulder. It's broken. She also broke two ribs. She must have hit her head on the floor. She's suffering from a minor concussion but that is the minor of our concern right now."
With every word Jane heart was sinking deeper and deeper. Her fear was rising higher and higher. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She was fidgeting, she was clenching her hands so tightly that her knuckles were turning white for the effort.
She was having trouble breathing, the trembling was getting worst.
Dr. Green, noticing Jane state of shock, started stroking the detective's arm and spoke softly: "Hey, take deep breaths. It's ok. It will be ok."
"It's not ok...Will...will she make it? Please, tell me the truth." Jane pleaded sobbing.
The doctor answered: "I can't assure you that. She's fighting. We're doing all we can. The paramedics lost her twice on the ride to the hospital. She's very weak. She lost a lot of blood and..."
Jane interrupted her. Desperation in her voice: "I can give her blood. We've got the same blood type. Please, let me help her. I can't lose her. I just can't. I love her too much."
Jane had never admitted that in so many words. Not even to herself. She had never actually spoken the words out loud before. But she did it twice in a few minutes. She loved Maura Isles and in that moment she made a promise to herself and to the woman she loved. She wouldn't waste another instant. She would tell Maura her feelings the moment she would see her and she would spend the rest of her life making sure that Maura knew exactly the way she felt every minute of every day.
The doctor gave Jane a faint smile, a smile of understanding and admiration.
It wasn't easy to let the guard down and to let someone see right through you, confessing feelings and fears so openly and without shame.
"Ok, it's a good idea. We need all the blood we can find. She'll need other transfusions when she's out of surgery."
The doctor patted Jane's legs and told her reassuringly: "Let's go. I'll personally take your blood so you can tell me something about Maura in the meantime...I haven't seen her in many years."
"How long will it take before she's out of surgery?" asked Jane esitantly. She had calmed down but she was still scared to death and on the verge of tears.
"It could take a while. But it's not a bad sign. They have to stitch up the arthery and to rebuild the fractured bones. They also have to take a look at her punctured lung. It will take a while. Try to stay calm, ok? She will make it. She's a fighter." Said the doctor giving her a sympathetic smile.
"Yes, she is." Aswered Jane under her breath.
In that moment the doctor's pager beeped.