Goodnight

x-x-x

By: michi-bee

x-x-x

When I was young, I had my mom and dad tuck me to bed. I was snuggled in comfortably, surrounded with a whole bunch of stuffed teddy bears of different colors and sizes and dolls to play tea each morning I'd wake up.

Everyone had a name and I've memorized it all. There's Pinky and Mr. Brownie and Bearie and Puffy and Fluffy and Fifi and Deedee and Zuzu and Keke and Mai and Mr. and Mrs. Twinkle and Sumi and Mimi. I could tell you everyone's name but it would take me the whole night.

I was their only child so you could say I'm more than a bit spoiled. I was a brat but I was sweet, sweeter than candy.

I was treated like a princess because I can and they'd always let me.

They'd read me fairytales, changing the damsel's name to mine, and when it would be done, mom would give me a glass of milk so I could sleep better and then they'd kiss my forehead and whisper goodnight, warmly.

I was afraid of being alone so it's been a habit that I wouldn't close my eyes unless there'd be somebody to watch over me while I sleep.

I grew up bringing my childish attitudes and I couldn't seem to get over them, like I'm stuck at the stage of being that little girl playing miniature dolls inside her pink room.

But it was different.

I have no mom and dad to read me books, to make me a glass of milk, to watch me as I sleep, to kiss my forehead and bid me goodnight, the usual things they'd used to do when I was 5 and being all innocent.

It was because I was already 17.

17 and mature, as they told me.

Well, I wasn't mature enough to take on all of life's problems by myself because as much as I hate to say it, I relied on my parents too much.

I barely do things all on my own and it was never my fault to start with. They spoiled me and now I get to suffer. Alone.

They told me I was old enough to rid what I used to do when I was a kid and start being a big girl and be dependent on myself rather than on other people.

I was forced to stay in a co-ed dormitory of the university I was enrolled into.

I didn't like the idea because I was alone and I wasn't used to this and honestly, I never would want to be. I was scared and I just wanted to go home to my old room and embrace all my teddies. Ridiculously, I wanted to be little again, to be naïve and innocent and stupid because right now, I really need to hear my mom's voice and my dad's tight bear hug.

I just have to.

x-x-x

"Hello, good evening. Who is this?" said the receiver as soon I got hold of my phone and dialed mom's office.

I leaned on the marbled wall of my porch at the dormitory, hesitant to speak.

"Hello?" she repeated, "Is there anyone on the line?"

My heart thumped fast and I was sure my lips were trembling slightly.

"Umm, hello," I started after what seem to be a minute, "Can I…Can I speak to my mom, please?"

"Oh, Sumire!"

I gulped then crossed my hands, hoping she would pick up that damn phone and talk to me.

"I'm sorry. She can't, at the moment. She's-"

"Busy?" I cut mom's secretary off. Well, tough luck. No mommy for tonight, I thought.

Ever since I had turned 16, that was what she had always said every time I tried calling. It's either they're too busy to speak or too preoccupied to even talk to me.

Both of my parents rarely come home from work, even on a Sunday night where we could spend loads of time laughing at each other and do what a family normally does, bond. They were busier than ever and I missed them badly.

"Yes, she's on a meeting with a client. Want to leave a message, honey? I'll relay it to her the moment she's done with the transaction."

After she said that, I felt as though I was another big-time tycoon, wanting a piece of her time to make business with. My stomach churned and I fought a tear from escaping my eye.

I bit my lip. "Just tell her I said hi…and goodnight."

I ended the call right away without saying goodbye because I was hurt, indirectly.

I slipped my phone inside the back pocket of my denim pants and stared at the sky, gazing at the stars.

Right now, I really wish I had someone I could call my friend and talk this out, to sort things thoroughly and share my problems with and then she'd cry with me because she'd feel the pain I'm feeling.

I sighed deeply. My first day as a college student and none of my parents wasted a single minute of their busy careers to say goodnight.

Bitter, so I thought I was.

Where had those times flown off? God knows how much I regretted this now because at some point, I thought I'd have friends right away. That's what dad told me and I believed him because he was my dad. But ever since the second I laid foot on this school, nobody acknowledged me nor did they look my way and give a simple nod or a smile.

I guess this is how college is or maybe everyone is just at the stage of adjustment. But I'll try to make the first move tomorrow. I'll find a friend because I know there'd always be that someone destined to be with my presence, that person who also needs someone to be of helping hand.

I smiled at the way I'm optimistically seeing things already.

I went inside and closed the door. I slipped onto my pajamas and rested on the bed.

It's different from mine back at home but I'll have to deal with this, perhaps.

After all, who said that college was all sweet and fluffy?

x-x-x

The clock ticked and it was 9:43 in the evening.

I sat on a chair with my back leaned and my hand resting on the table, fingers tapped rhythmically.

A piece of parchment, half-written, lay on top of the table, waiting for my hand to pick up the pencil and finish my essay.

My brain is fricking tired of trying to mush up words only to have this done. I don't know what to write anymore.

I recall my professor blabbering about how easy this assignment is. Ha! Easy my butt. I couldn't define easy with this and it's giving me a massive headache and I just want to eat ice cream.

Pfft. Stupid essay.

I stretched my legs, covering my mouth to a loud yawn.

I picked up the paper and reread my crappy work.

It is due tomorrow and I don't know if I'll be able to pass it on time without having to rant at how stupid and worthless it'll be. This totally isn't my line of expertise. Writing? You've got to be kidding me. I'd rather paint my nails than drown myself with writing essays at his class.

Really, I'm proud to say that I suck at this but then I remembered a statement from way back then that said, "You don't have to be exceptionally great at writing to publish an award-winning book. Sometimes, all you need is experience, passion and dedication."

That kept me going.

I guess that's true. I have to do this because I seriously don't want to fail and repeat this class. I don't want people to know that I'm so poor at literature that I have to retake the subject again. Oh no, no, no.

I shook my head and along with it, I shooed off the bad thoughts away.

"What is a friend?" I read out loud. I suddenly felt my heart beat loudly against my ribs.

That title was given to me randomly by Narumi, my literature professor.

He arrived at class yesterday bringing a big, checkered, rainbow-colored box. I was curious at what it contained and he showed us that after the class almost ended.

He asked us what our favorite color was. Of course, I said green right away and then he gave me a green, glossy paper cut like a cloud but he pointed out that it wasn't a cloud, instead, a bush.

I chuckled a bit and spoke, "But, professor, I thought this is literature?"

"It is!"

"So, more or less, I'm free to be creative, right?"

"Yes. Where is this talk going?"

"Then my not-so-creative mind wants to think that this is a green cloud!"

He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, "I'm expecting an A+ on that assignment, 'kay?"

He peeped at the paper and read it.

"What is a friend? That's an interesting title. I know you'll have many inspirations, or inspiration, If I may say."

I blushed and dashed out of the classroom. Why, you ask? I'm not too sure. I was rather clueless and it kind of took me by surprise.

I tapped the finger pads on the table again, pursing my lip. Tonight is the exact 29th hour after that had happened and I'm still oblivious as to what he meant by that. Really, it's bugging me to bits and for some unknown reasons, I couldn't get it off my head.

Sighing, I read again, for the third time, but then I heard light knocks coming from the glass window by my porch.

I gaped at it and saw someone waving at me with a wide, eerie but contagious smile. I smiled back and stood up, going towards him and opened the door.

"Hey," he greeted.

I looked up. God, he's so tall.

"Hey," I greeted back.

His chestnut brown eyes were glittering and I felt like mine were about to and that moment, I finally realized what my professor meant by what he said about inspiration.

I had to remember, how did we even became friends in the first place?

My mind went way back to that morning after my first day.

It was on that, I call it lucky, day I met Sakura Mikan. She was friendly, the kind of person I was hoping to befriend.

She was my first seatmate at my first class and other 2 succeeding classes but it was on my third class that she finally talked to me. I was shy at first but then it vanished the minute she started introducing herself to me formally.

Mikan was a bubbly girl and she never ran out of words to say. Though, we're both freshmen, she told me she knew some people attending school here. I could say she was, and is, indeed a good person and I told her that.

It wasn't hard talking to her without feeling awkward and when she invited me to have lunch with her, I said yes right away.

She did say she was going to have lunch with me and another person. Found out later that that someone happened to be her boyfriend and curse him for being so damn hot.

My eyeballs almost came out from their sockets. He was gorgeous, I'd give him that and Mikan is just lucky to have him.

He was a gentleman and I could see that he really loves her even if we just met because every time a girl would try her luck flirting with him, he'd just hold her hand and give Mikan his rarest smile and it just sinfully makes him more irresistible to look at.

But I respect he's with my friend. I wouldn't want to ruin my good relationship with Mikan.

A couple of minutes later, a guy with spiky blond hair came rushing towards us and gave Natsume, Mikan's boyfriend, a light slap at his back.

We were eating then at some diners.

"Hey, dude, Mikan," he greeted with a wide grin. He looked at me with a slight tilt of his head. "And who do we have here?"

I saw the couple nod and turn their heads towards my direction. I raised a brow and Mikan just giggled, Natsume, eating again, clearly not caring.

I had a confused look.

"Tell him your name, silly. Don't worry; he's one of Natsume's best friends. Completely harmless."

"What's that supposed to mean, Mikan?" he snapped almost cutely once he caught her statement.

"It means I'm sweet, you loser," Mikan said as she playfully punched his shoulder and he just laughed.

"Well?" he mumbled, turning to me again, "I'm Kokoro Yome, by the way. Just call me Koko,"

He reached out his hand and instantly, I shook it with my clammy hand.

"Err, Sumire Shouda," I finally spit out.

"I guess I'll be seeing you often, huh?" he said, sitting down beside Natsume. I didn't know why I started feeling more mute than to really be talking. Maybe Mikan sensed that because she answered him on my behalf.

"Yes, Koko. She'll be eating with us during lunch starting now. So you better be good to her."

"Aye, aye. I got it."

I smiled at them and that Koko guy looked at me and I felt a blush had crept up my cheeks.

After that faithful meeting of ours, I hung out with them, like what Mikan said and I saw him more often.

The couple would sometimes go to another world staring at each other, sending secret signals to the point at which I do not understand. Of course, I'm left with Mr. Yome and he turned out to be such a cool person.

He makes me laugh all the time and he never fails at giving me a heck of a good time. He's really something, in a friendly way.

Because of Mikan and Natsume's relationship, Koko and I were closer compared to my friendship with Mikan. I knew then that his dorm room was just above mine, talk about coincidence.

He always came by to pick me up in the morning and drop me at my classroom, have lunch together and in the afternoon, he'd come to pick me up again and we'd hang out. It was always like that and people started thinking that we're sort of in a relationship, that there's something sweet going on between us.

Of course, there wasn't. But if there is, it was unspoken. We were only friends, to say the most and I guess that's how we'll be, for now.

And I swear, that was exactly what was playing inside the head of my professor, that Koko was my inspiration.

A year had passed already and Koko had taken up the habit of sneaking out at night and knocking at the porch door of my room.

He's really weird at times but umm, it's kind of funny and it never bothers me. Sometimes I even like it, him seeing me before I go to sleep.

"Why are you still awake?" I asked. He looked too cute in his bear-inspired pajamas, which I've given him last Valentines Day. His arm was leaning on the on the door side with a breathtaking look on his face.

He smiled before he answered, "I knew you'd still be up."

"How would you know, Mister?"

I crossed my arms and mischievously smirked.

"Because I almost forgot to say goodnight."

A chill sway of the wind touched my arm and blew of his hair messily. And dang he looked hot.

That did it. I smiled sincerely and in my head I thought, I really couldn't go on without him. He was my best friend. That person whom I aimlessly wanted to be with the day I started going to this school.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and he kissed my forehead gently.

"Goodnight, Sumire."

"Goodnight."

"I'll see you in the morning with a surprise."

I looked at him with much confusion plastered on my face.

"Surprise? What for?"

He poked my nose and chuckled, "We've been friends for a year and I wanted to celebrate it with you. I wanted tomorrow to be special. I've been counting, you know."

That hit me hard. He really treasured everything about our friendship and especially me.

I nodded. I'll do my best to keep tomorrow memorable and do something extra special for him.

He went back to his room and I went back to my unfinished essay. I started writing words and I knew they were because of Koko. I was inspired and he was my inspiration.

I was done in a couple of minutes and smiled at the dedication that I have given to my work.

I placed it neatly inside an envelope and conveniently put It inside my bag so as not to forget it in the morning.

I tucked myself to bed and thought at the last statement written on my assignment…

"…a friend is someone who never forgets to tell you goodnight, no matter how difficult and entirely impossible a situation may be."

Then, I slept with a smile. I was happy, after all and not for the reason that I've finally finished my damn essay but because I know there's always that someone who'll kiss me to an abyss of fantasies and dreams and would whisper to my ear sweetly and warmly, goodnight, Sumire.

Fin

x-x-x

I say:

Done and done. KokoxSumire had been such a good inspiration to me these days. And I totally love Koko. :)

Hope you'll like it!

Review? You know, I'd appreciate it.

muchos love,

michi-bee