The past can be Haunting, and painful
Chapter 1 : Miserable and wanting to die, and having sex with a butler
Rated M : Sex ( shorta, loli) Yaoi
Kuroshitsuji : Pairing : Sebastian X Ciel
I may act calm and collective, seem like a normal young rich noble boy, that may be spoiled on some occasions, I am not. I am truly just messed up, and scared, my whole life is just a plain old living hell, that I can not escape from, no matter how hard I try.
My family died when I was younger, my mansion burned to the ground, I was killed by being used as a human sacrifice, branded by the same men who defiled my body in the human sacrifice. I even saw my own aunt die before my eyes because, she couldn't kill me, the one who looked so much like her sister, and the one who she loved, my father. I have seen the queen, a young woman with her husband, die from a crazy angel, I saw all of London burn before my eyes, I saw my mom and dad, together as one, and my soul belongs to a demon. My life is something that I should not want, and I do not want it, I am living in the fear of this miserable life, I hate this life that I have lived, and I do not want to live anymore.
I have clung onto the one that is going to take my soul, shown him my weak and stupid side, the sides that I hate to show, he is the only one that shall see this of me.
"Bocchan." Sebastian's calm and collective voice said, I looked at him bored, and not caring, he looked concerned about something.
"What is it Sebastian?"
"You look very...out of it today, more than usual, are you alright young master? You can always skip what is scheduled for you."
"No, even though as much as I would like to do that, I do not think I should."
"Young Master, I think that it would be best if you rested, you don't have anything to do today anyways, the queen hasn't sent anything, everything seems to be in order today." I looked at him, a slight glare in my eye, he sighed and stayed by my side. "Young Master," he breathed into my ear, I hadn't even realized he was so close to me, and when he spoke I jumped a little. "would you like me to take you to bed?" I looked at him again, this time trying to read him, trying to figure out what he really wanted to do.
"I would like to go to bed, carry me there."
"Yes, my Lord." He lifted me up out of my chair in front of my work desk, and I wrapped my arms around his neck like I always did, and this time for some reason, I felt light-headed, and a little week. "Are you alright Bocchan, you look a little pale."
"Yes I am fine, just take me to bed." He nodded and we left the study room, he carried me through the hallway, we passed many doors, until we finally got to my bedroom. Sebastian opened the door with one hand, when we entered he closed it the same way he opened it, he walked over to my bed and lightly set me down upon it. "Sebastian, what would you do, if I died before you could eat my soul?"
"Bocchan, why do you ask such a question."
"I am just curious, and you do not have to answer." And he did not answer.
He took off my day clothes, and then put on my white night shirt, then tucked my into bed, after I put my wring on the bedside table, next to my eye-patch, Sebastian held a candle holder which held three candles, the flames dancing in the room, making the shadows dance around me too. I looked at the demon, and saw his eyes glow purple, and they where in the shape of a snakes. He narrowed his eyes like he was going to attack his prey and blew out the lights, now only the moonlight was visible in my room.
"Sebastian..." I could feel my bed lower and weight on the side of my leg, then Sebastian's hands on either side of my face, he is now on top of me. "what are you doing, Demon?" I questioned quietly, not really caring about what he was planning on doing. "If you want to take my soul, then do it now, I do not want to live any longer."
"I am not going to take your soul Bocchan, I am going to do something else..." I gave the Demon a weird look, and he lowered himself upon me, I squirmed as he put his gloved cold hands upon my waist, raising them little by little to my chest. I squirmed more as his right gloved hand, rubbed against, and pinched my nipple, I moaned lightly and could hear Sebastian smirk.
"Sebastian! Stop what you are doing right now! That is an order!"
"I am sorry Bocchan, I can not follow that order, I am a demon with needs first, and a butler that follows your orders, second." He stated in a flat tone. I glared at him, how dare him, to disobey me, the one who will give his very own soul to a monster like him!
He moved his left hand from my chest, to my waist and then into my boxers, I gasped as he started stroking my penis, I again, squirmed at this new feeling, in which felt very weird to me. He smiled as I held in my moans, as his hand went faster and faster, stroking me over and over again, I felt weird, like something was going to come out of me. A few more strokes, and I exploded into his gloved hand, I began panting.
"It seems that you enjoyed that, Ciel." He bit the tip of his gloved middle finger, and took the glove now stained off his hand, and lowered it back on me, he didn't touch my penis again, this time, he went lower, to my butt.
"Sebastian, stop!" I gasped as I felt his finger probe my hole, tears started to form in my eyes, I don't want my body to be defiled again, I do not want to be ripped open from the inside, and feel like my insides are being ripped wide open. I could tell that Sebastian saw the tears in my eyes, even though he saw my pain, he did not stop, he continued to slowly probe his finger inside of me. I shook in fear and pain.
"Bocchan, this is the only way, if I do not do this, then it will hurt when I put it in, so please bare with it, for now." He pressed his finger all the way in, and slowly moved it in and out of me, I shook and trembled, he continued to go slow, until he felt me calm down little by little. After a while he slowly put another in, and did the same as he did with the first, then with a third. When he though that I was loose enough, he took his three fingers out, making me moan in the discomfort. I could hear the sound of a zipper, unzipping and then soon after that, Sebastian lifted my legs and put them on his shoulders.
"Sebastian? What are you doing?" He only smirked and pressed his warm penis against my ass, I gasped in pain, as he slowly pressed in deeper and deeper inside of me. I tried to push him away, but he only pressed inside me deeper and deeper, when I pushed him really hard almost pushing him out a little, he then thrusted into me, hard and fast. I moaned in pain, the tears flowing down my eyes, and hitting the pillow under my head.
"I am sorry Bocchan, but I want to get you used to this." He thrusted in again, this time with more force, it hurt, but not as bad when I got raped and killed, Sebastian is more gentle, not tearing into my body, he even prepared me before he did anything. He thrusted again, and when he did I could feel pleasure surge throughout my body, I shivered and moaned in pleasure. "So this is where your prostate is." He thrusted and hit it again, this made me moan over and over, I felt myself soon reaching orgasm.
"Sebastian! Sebastian!" I screamed, he pressed deeper inside of me, hitting my prostate once again, and I came all over my chest, and he soon came inside of me, after he did, he slowly slipped out of me. I was panting, unable to catch my breath, and Sebastian cleaned me and himself up, after that he tucked me into bed, and was about to leave the side of my bed, after tucking me in. I grabbed at his coat, he turned around and looked at me. "Don't leave, Sebastian please stay with me, I don't want to be alone." I felt like a scared little kid saying these things, and to a Demon none the less.
"As you wish Bocchan, but I think that I shall change into something more comfortable, so that my attire does not discomfort, or make you unable to sleep."
"Then change into a night shirt like mine, I do not care if you wear one of mine, I think that there is one that was made a little to big to fit me." Sebastian nodded and found the shirt quickly, and quickly disposed of the clothes on his body, putting the night shirt on. I had mt eyes closed, getting ready to rest until I felt the bed sink again, I then went closer to the body next to me, snuggling to the warmth of the demon. "Good night Sebastian."
"Good night Ciel." I fell asleep snuggled next to him, and all of this felt like some kind of crazy dream, and yet for some reason, I don't want it to be a dream, I really hope that it is reality.