Cyber Monday

I know Cyber Monday was, well, last Monday. But I only just learned about it on that exact day and didn't even come up with the idea for this until, like, the day after that. Then I forgot about it for a while and then remembered. So, I know it's late, but I don't care. It's a sequel to Black Friday. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as the monkeys did writing it. Okay, the monkey thing was a joke. Just like that picture of the midget Giraffe with no neck (although that did look pretty damn real...and non-existant). Really, there's no such picture (but it'd be funny if there was). And there'll be plenty more IZ fics (along with Fullmetal Alchemist and cinnamon buns, Invader Zim's my current obsession).

Also, with my new seperating lines, the ones that go "XxxxxxX" (with five little x's) are to show the start or end of a story (or to seperate author's notes from the actual storyline). While the ones that go "XxxxxX" (with four little x's) are to indicate scene changes. There, now we're all up to speed on that.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any of the characters from it, just the idea. The internet is obviously not as it described here. I make no profit off of this and never will.

XxxxxxX

"What's that thing? Another one of your stupid human devices, I suppose." asked Zim.

"Well obviously." replied Dib.

"Be quiet, you...dirt worm thing."

"Dirt worm thing?"

"Just tell me, Zim, what it is, or...I'll melt your brains!"

"It's a computer, Zim."

"What does it do?"

"It lets you do all kinds of things. You can play games, send and receive mail, buy things, websurf an-"

"ENOUGH! No more of this 'Compyooturrr' nonsense!"

"It's called a computer, Zim. Com...Pu...Ter." he slowed down so Zim could catch up, obviously being feeble-minded...in Dib's opinion.

"YOU'RE LYING! LIAR!"

"Fine then, don't believe me. I don't care."

"Uhh...Oh, is that Gir calling? I better go." Zim then jumped out of the window in Dib's room, which was not open...and now broken.

Membrane suddenly walked past and, without even looking, said "I'm not fixing that."

XxxxxX

Zim sat on the couch with Gir, watching tv and waiting for the time to pass by...all a part of his newest plot for total world conquest.

Then he saw the clock hit the 22:00 (10 pm) mark.

'Perfect.' he thought 'Dib should be asleep by now.'

Gir was also thinking to himself, 'Tacos, tacos, tac-os! Tacos, tacos, tac-os!'

"Well, I bet be going now." Zim said, unsure of who he was talking to.

"Okie-dokie." Gir wasn't even looking at his master, instead his eyes were fixated on the tv screen.

"Okay, bye!" Zim ran out of the door, not wearing his disguise. Then slowly snuck back in, grabbed the wig and contacts, put them on and then left.

"I love this show." said Gir.

XxxxxX

Zim snuck by Dib's house and observed the broken window, it was still broken and the lights were off.

"That stupid human," Zim muttered. "By not fixing that window, he my entrance plan twice as easy."

His PAK legs emerged and lifted him up and through the broken window.

XxxxxX

Inside Dib's room, Dib was asleep and the computer's screen-saver was on. Zim approached the computer.

"Now let's see here..." Zim whispered to himself. "I know he did something that brought this machine out of its 'Sleep Mode' and made it usuable." He located the mouse. "Ah ha!" He covered his mouth with his hand, then he took notice his arch-nemesis wasn't awoken by his sudden outburst. "Phew, that was close." He shook the mouse and the computer went out of sleep-mode...and now visible were search results, showing links to dozens of porn sites. "I don't even want to know." Zim said.

He planted a small device on the side of it that immediately took effect, opening up and giving a static shock and noticable effects on the computer. Pages opened up, all made by Zim and for Zim to use in his next plan: using the internet to take control of every computer in every household on Earth, thus taking control of every household on Earth...and Earth itself.

It would suck him inside the information super-highway that was the internet on his command...but first, curiosity took him over.

He clicked the first link he saw on the search page...and it brought him to a disgusting page full of human females in their natural states.

"Oh my Irk!" Zim screamed much louder than he had before, forgetting he was supposed to keep it quiet.

Dib immediately woke up. "Zim? Zim! My porn!"

"Stupid Earth filth, you and your urges digust me. Now, computer, let me in!" Zim screamed.

"Hey, keep it down in there!" Gaz yelled from her room, banging on the wall with her fist.

Zim said his goodbye with Dib by sticking out his tongue and flipping him off, a form of goodbye he had commonly seen being used in his time on Earth.

Then, a white light shot out from center screen, like the Abduction Ray on a Furon Saucer, and sucked Zim right in.

"Oh, no you don't." Dib jumped in after him.

XxxxxX

"Whoa, I'm translucent! Trippy!" Dib observed his body. He felt lighter than air, yet he hadn't changed at all. Although he was translucent and able to fly forward at remarkable speeds, when doing so his legs were replaced by harmless jet-flames, so as to propel himforward. Zim had the same exact traits, although his disguise was gone.

"You humans are so easily distracted! Ooh, a giant flying letter!" Zim said, once again showing his incompetence.

"That's an eMail, Zim. And what the hell have you done?"

"We're inside of this 'internet' of yours and I'm headed towards the central control place, or whatever it is that controls this. And this would be a lot easier without you here, Dib."

"Deal with it."

Then Zim ran, I mean, flew for it, Dib giving chase.

Every so often eMails or some type of attachment would fly through, prompting them to dodge.

"Ha! Too slow, Dib!" Zim taunted, not paying attention to the letter flying right towards him and-SLICE!-It got stuck in his head. "Only a flesh wound."

A fat figure drifted towards them. It was Jeff Albertson, the Comic Book Guy, and he had heard what Zim said. Being the sarcastic nerd he was, he had to say something back. "That's a quote from Final Fantasy IX, ha ha!" Then he flew away.

Both were confused by this.

"Who the hell was that?" Dib questioned.

"I don't know." Zim replied. "You humans are so strange, it never ceases to amaze me."

"Yeah." Then Dib remembered he wasn't there to make small talk, he had to stop Zim. Taunting or insulting him would work, as Zim had an extremely large ego and didn't being poked fun at very well. "Hey, Zim, you've got a giant paper-cut. Normal humans don't get paper-cuts that big. Anyone sees you like that and you'll end up on an alien autopsy table."

"All the more reason to destroy conquer this planet as fast as possible. And another thing, shut up!"

"Coming from the guy with a giant letter in his head and-hey, what's that purple stuff?"

"Blood. Don't humans have it?"

"Yeah, but it's blue and turns red when it hits oxygen."

"Oh, that's stupid."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

"Fool! No one agrees with the almighty Zim! NO ONE!"

"I just did."

"I, uh...what's that over there?"

"I'm not fallin' for that."

"Really? 'Cause it's a ghost."

"Really? A ghost? Oh, I gotta see this."

Dib turned around, only to hear Zim fly away...and get smacked in the back of the head by the letter that Zim had just thrown. He examined the blood. It wasn't different from human blood at all except in color. Then he remembered that Zim was getting away and rushed after him.

Zim was going as fast as possible with Dib following close behind. Zim was getting close to the main core, the very center of the internet.

"You're running out of precious time, Dib!" Zim taunted, but he was right. There was no way Dib would be able to catch Zim now, even while going as fast as he could. It would take some kind of a miracle for Dib to keep up with the evil Irken.

Zim had reached the central core with a screeching halt, Dib crashing right into him.

"Yes! I've got you now, Zim." said the big-headed boy.

"Foolish human, you're too late. Behold!" Zim took out another small device, a gray metallic sphere with many circuits jutting out from all sides. He took the sphere and inserted it into the central core.

It suddenly enlarged and quickly encased the central core within itself, the internet was now under Zim's complete control.

Zim pressed a big red button on the side of the metallic core and it released an electric pulse throughout the wires, which was sent to every computer in every household on Earth.

The computers emitted more static pulses, enveloping the households and, in mere seconds, the whole planet.

"No, I'm too late!" Dib hung his head in shame, knowing he had failed.

Zim laughed maniacally, until the static pulses ended up turning into sonic vibrations. Violent sonic vibrations that shook the entire Earth which caused nature disasters all over the planet. The entire Earth was ripping itself apart at the seems, until the vibrations grew worse.

Then the core, being the at the center of this, couldn't take any more and self-destructed. Which blew up the wires and the computers the wires were connected to, the houses the computers were connected to, the land the houses were connected to and, eventually, the entire planet blew up.

Zim's plan backfired big-time, ending all human life. As well as his own life and the entire Earth itself.

XxxxxX

The resulting explosion was so powerful that it could be heard and its vibartions could be felt all the way on the Massive.

The entire ship shook, calming down and stopping after a few minutes or so.

"Uh, Red, what just happened?" asked Purple.

"Zim just happened." Red told him.

"It's about time." Purple responded.

Then both Tallests started laughing, Zim was gone and they were victorious. Now the Irken Empire could achieve galactic conquest without any disruptions.

XxxxxxX

I didn't really like that ending, but I'm glad I incorporated a twist in there. There, obviously, won't be another sequel. But there'll still be more unrelated stories. Also, comic book guy appeared in a scene I accidentally ommited upon first uploading this. I've since added it. Comic Book Guy makes a reference to the Simpsons Game. In the level "Big Super Happy Fun-fun Game", Comic Book Guy played the Elemntal Sumos. They were four types of sumos that each represented a classical element. There were Earth Sumos, Fire Sumos, Ice Sumos, and Sky Sumos. When hit, the sumos would spout various-and quite hilarious-phrases. The Fire Sumos made numerous references to video games, pop culture, and internet phenomon. One of them was reused in this story. The Fire Sumos, when it, would somtimes say the following phrase, "Only a flesh wound. That is a quote from Final Fantasy IX, ha ha!" It was accidentally partially ommited. But I saw that it was left out and managed to put it back into the story. Anyway, tell me what you think (if you want to). No flames, el fuego muy malo. Really, fire is bad. Beautiful, but very bad. So don't flame me, bro. Exogorth out.