NB: This is me trying to write a St. Patty's fic and not finishing it on time.
I'm still coping.
Chuck blearily made his way to their front door as the annoying banging on his door increased in cadence. Stretching his arms above his head, his mouth opened as a heavy yawn let itself out. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Geez, you're gonna wake Sarah up."
He adjusted his shirt and wiped the remaining bleariness with his left hand. Bending down, he checked as to whether the person behind the door is friend or foe. Tilting his head in confusion, he unlatched the lock and slowly opened the door.
"Casey, are you drunk?" Chuck ventured slowly.
"Hey, moron. Where's your missus?" Casey swayed left as he held on to the empty bottle of scotch precariously.
"Sarah?" Chuck's hesitant face turned into one of confusion. "Why are you looking for Sarah-... Hey!" Casey stumbled drunkenly into Chuck and Sarah's apartment and threw himself over the end of the couch.
"Hey, moron. Can you explain something to me?" Casey raised an arm and tried pointing it at him, failing spectacularly. Chuck grabbed the bottle from Casey and held it as humanly away from him as possible.
"Uhhh... sure. I guess." Chuck went to the kitchen to get Casey a glass of water and to get rid of the disgusting bottle away. He watched Casey warily from his view in the kitchen and suspiciously made his way to the drunken Colonel—who was currently trying to make sense of his limbs; his eyes squinted the whole time.
Casey gulped the glass of water Chuck gave him and burped loudly. "Thanks, Bartowski. You're such a good boy." Casey pulled his face down and patted his cheeks. He then motioned to the seat across from him and started gesturing wildly. "Sit down, sit down." Chuck studied his drunken friend but sat down at the seat, nonetheless.
"How can a nerd, as you call yourself, land so many hot girlfriends?" Casey considered him seriously.
Chuck coughed loudly and squiggled uncomfortably on his seat. "Excuse me?"
Casey glared at him and continued. "Are you deaf? I mean..." He opened his mouth and was about to continue when he was suddenly interrupted by Chuck. "I know what you mean. I want to know why you're asking this question."
"Shut up and let me talk." Casey glared at him and growled out. "As I was saying, before you interrupted me rudely…" Chuck nodded his head enthusiastically, not wanting to cross the Colonel- especially in the state he was in.
"See. You seem to be a babe magnet. First, there's that brunette, Jill. Then, there was Walker. Then, Lou, the sandwich lady. Also a brunette." Casey's eyes suddenly zoned out. "She made a mean sandwich. Then, Walker again. Then, the Black Widow lady. Again, a brunette. Then, Walker." Casey's eyes comically widened slightly as a name popped in his head. "And even, Carina!" Casey shook his head vehemently. "Even Carina, of all people." Casey whispered to himself, disbelievingly. "Then, the Hannah lady. I mean, for heaven's sake. You met her in a plane if France and she willingly worked in your little nerd hole to know you better! And she's a brunette. Not to mention, she was sizzling! And finally, you gathered the balls to propose to Walker… and here we are!" Casey huffed in annoyance.
Chuck stared in slack jawed awe at the ranting Colonel who was saying more than he usually does. "Should I just grow those curls, learn your nerdy ways and get all the ladies I want? I bet you landed more ladies than Captain Awesome. Don't get me wrong, I think your sister is hot. Quite frankly, she's a fine specimen of a woman..."
*thump*
"I cannot unhear that." Chuck shook his head to himself. "I think I just threw a little in my mouth." He stared at the figure looming over Casey's unconscious body on the floor, holding a tranquilizer gun that is one less dart.
"And you think I can?" Ellie shivered.