Allan forces his aching body the few more steps to camp. He stops to rest and looks up at the flickering fire in the distance. Camp. Home. He shakes his head. It won't be home anymore after they hear what he has done. He walks into the camp. Much pushes a cup at him. He takes it. "We are Robin Hood." Much says. Allan is confused. "Say it!" Much insists. Allan says it with the gang "We are Robin Hood!" The purse from Gisbourne is revealed. Ashamed, Allan covers it up quickly and drinks. He wants to tell Robin, really he does. But why did they not rescue him? Why has no one said anything about his absence? Why has he not heard of the plans they had to rescue him? Why does no one seem to care? Allan is afraid, desperately afraid that they have already found out. That they will not wait to hear his explanation. That it is all over. Robin looks at him, and Allan knows. This is it. But Robin says nothing, and Allan does not know if he is relieved or disappointed. He cannot tell them now. They will think he is lying, think he is telling tales again. And if they do believe him, they will not understand how he could have given in. None of them would, they are sure. He does not want this - family - to end. Ever. And so he says nothing, doesn't tell them about the torture or the betrayal. He vows never to go back to Guy, but he doesn't tell them. He can't.
X
Later, Stephen pushes him down. He gets the point. All he was doing was asking, for heaven's sake. Allan stalks out, his pride hurt. He does not mean to go to Gisborne, but somehow he ends up at the tavern. It is not too late he tells himself, but then he is making his mark and then he is inside. He waits, but his courage quickly evaporates and he thinks better of this. What am I doing here? he asks and begins to leave. And suddenly Guy is there and he is talking, telling him about the plans. And Guy is mad, upset that he does not have more. And then he asks the unthinkable - to betray Marian. Allan's fuzzy brain kicks in. "I don't know" he stammers and is afraid when Guy pushes him against the wall. Allan swears it's the truth, and somehow Guy believes him. Then it is over, and the coin is rolling on the floor. He hates himself, and yet bends down to pick it up. And then he is back at camp, and the gang is planning the mission. He wonders how he has fallen so far, but can't make himself stop. He has gone too far to turn back now. And Allan's last thoughts of the day are that he would rather have died in the jail then continue on with this – this – what word would do it justice? There is none. But he is stuck now.