No Light, No Light
No light, no light in your bright blue eyes You can't choose what stays and what fades away No light, no light
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
And I'd do anything to make you stay
No light
"I don't remember much. It was all such a blur. I remember he was on the roof. We were talking on the phone. His hand was raised, as well as mine. It was like we were so close yet so far apart. He was telling me things, things I didn't believe. Or didn't want to believe. He was saying he was a fake, that all of the lies were real. I knew he was lying. He had to be. I could just see the tears falling from his eyes. I held mine back. I couldn't cry in front of him. He hung up. God, he was so close to the edge. I yelled out his name. He ignored me. I remember him falling. I remember running towards him. I remember being knocked over. I remember looking up and seeing a crowd. I ran to it. I pushed everyone out of the way. There he was. I fell to the ground and held him in my arms. Blood was everywhere, just gushing from his forehead. Tears fell from my eyes, splattering on his face. His expressionless face. People were trying to pull me away. I gripped him tight. I told them to go away, to leave us in peace, that he was my boyfriend. They didn't listen, and I didn't listen to them. The tears kept falling and the blood kept gushing. I moved the hair from his face. He was so cold. There was no light. No light in his bright blue eyes."
"John? You alright?" the psychiatrist asked.
"Yeah…just…sorry," John ran a hand over his face.
"No. It's alright. You can cry," the psychiatrist smiled in sympathy.
"No, no. I'm…fine. I'll be fine. I'm always fine," John said, choking on tears.
"Is there anything else you want to say?" the psychiatrist asked.
"No…not yet," John shook his head.
"Please John; it's for your own good," the psychiatrist urged. John swallowed and shook his head. The psychiatrist sighed. She looked disappointed. John didn't care. He didn't care about anything. He only felt the same emotions every day. Loss. Anger. Hate. Guilt. Sadness. Loneliness…
Please.
Don't
Be
Dead…