"Why do I exist?" I used to ask myself.
"Why does anyone exist?"
"I exist to help people!" That Sakura girl….
"I exist to kill my brother…" Uchiha….
"I exist…for other people to need me." Naruto….
"I exist to kill…and only to kill. I love myself, and only myself." I used to say. But now…I don't know why, or how to prove I exist. I guess I should say we exist because someone put us down here just for their enjoyment. No one really has a purpose in life; we just meander by, wasting time until we die either of killing, sickness, or old age.
But, if we can die, why do we choose to exist? To live through suffering, loss, pain, pleasure….love….what is love? Is it something meaningless as well? A trick of the mind created by people to hurt them even more? To slowly eat away at you until you are vulnerable enough to destroy once more?
Or is it a blessing instead of a curse? Something that helps you confide in people that you trust? Something that makes you feel like you are alive and exist? Something to pull you out of the darkness when you're already deep down? Something…. Something that exists to explain a feeling you feel inside of you that you can't explain?
All of these questions haunt me…and yet, have already been answered. Love is a blessing and a curse at the same time. It gives you reason to live, and also reason to kill. It is also a trick of the mind, sometimes even manipulation, but it's a longing for one another that you cannot control, no matter how hard you try.
I've seen this love. Whether it be the love of a sibling or a parent, or the love of a teammate, to the love of close friends, who long for something more. I've seen it come and go, with my sister, the villagers, and even my best friend. But I still cannot explain the feelings and emotion. I have to experience it myself, I guess. To experience is to learn, and to learn is to understand. So when I find love, I shall understand. Right now, I shall keep my head down, and look for the right person…….to love.