Written in the eyes of Clef Brannon, TV show host and secret spy.
Frodo Pippin Merry Legolas
Once upon a time, in a bog far, far away, lived three vicious, gnarly beasts and one perfect prince, Pippin the Pervert. The other three were Legolas Greenleaf, Frodo Baggins and Merry Brandybuck, and they were all hideous swamp-dwellers of the North.
Pippin the Pervert wanted to get away from Frodo and Legolas and act out all his fantasies with Merry. He was tired with the other two's denial of love for one another.
Hi, I'm Clef Brannon, and welcome to.... The Lord of the Sellotape!
*Cue hardcore rock music*
Once, on a very fine day, Pippin the Pervert was bathing his feet in the river and dreaming of Merry, when suddenly Merry approached him.
"Hi, sweet cheeks, how are you?" Merry greeted him.
Pippin wished that Merry returned his feelings of lust, but he never would. The inner turmoil made his socks turn green and someone, somewhere to whisper the words "There are no cucumbers." He eyed Merry warily, and wondered why his breeches were tangled.
All of a sudden, Legolas' feminine screech rang out as he and Frodo fell out of a nearby bush, trousers round their ankles. Merry promptly ignored this.
Then it all clicked. Merry had been having an affair with the pretty Legolas and that nobody, Frodo. Pippin was upset, and a little perplexed, as he knew he was stunningly attractive. What will become of this love square? Tune in next chapter to find out!
*Guitar: Weeeeoooooow*
Frodo Pippin Merry Legolas
Once upon a time, in a bog far, far away, lived three vicious, gnarly beasts and one perfect prince, Pippin the Pervert. The other three were Legolas Greenleaf, Frodo Baggins and Merry Brandybuck, and they were all hideous swamp-dwellers of the North.
Pippin the Pervert wanted to get away from Frodo and Legolas and act out all his fantasies with Merry. He was tired with the other two's denial of love for one another.
Hi, I'm Clef Brannon, and welcome to.... The Lord of the Sellotape!
*Cue hardcore rock music*
Once, on a very fine day, Pippin the Pervert was bathing his feet in the river and dreaming of Merry, when suddenly Merry approached him.
"Hi, sweet cheeks, how are you?" Merry greeted him.
Pippin wished that Merry returned his feelings of lust, but he never would. The inner turmoil made his socks turn green and someone, somewhere to whisper the words "There are no cucumbers." He eyed Merry warily, and wondered why his breeches were tangled.
All of a sudden, Legolas' feminine screech rang out as he and Frodo fell out of a nearby bush, trousers round their ankles. Merry promptly ignored this.
Then it all clicked. Merry had been having an affair with the pretty Legolas and that nobody, Frodo. Pippin was upset, and a little perplexed, as he knew he was stunningly attractive. What will become of this love square? Tune in next chapter to find out!
*Guitar: Weeeeoooooow*