Disclaimer: All Characters are Joanne Rowling's. I'm borrowing them during their very l—o—n—g break… ¬¬
We love you really Jo, but for god's sake WRITE!
For my darling girlfriend, Nest Freemark, I love you!
Hurling Books And A Dead ProfessorBy Liberty Ford
Chapter One
Pansy Parkinson hurled yet another book at the bushy haired girl.
She ducked quickly. "Not books, Parkinson!" Hermione wailed, but she was cut short when a rather large; leather bound "Animagus Encyclopaedia" smacked her across the side of her head.
Hermione squealed. No! Please... not the books! Please not the books! Can't you hit me with a chair instead?"
"That's not a problem." Smirked Pansy as she picked up another book. "Just let me get through these first."
"No…" Hermione dropped her hands to her side and moaned.
Pansy stopped and pulled out her wand.
"Put your wand down…" Said Snape walking into the room just as Pansy spoke.
"Likus dealerus…" she said confidently.
A light green mist came out of her wand and twirled it's way around Professor Snape. He's fought like it was strangling him and then he fell to the floor.
There was silence in the room and Pansy and Hermione waited for the Professor to move. He didn't.
"Is he…?" Stuttered Hermione as Pansy walked towards him.
"Don't be stupid… it was just a chair!"
"Oh my god… Pansy, you've killed him."
"No I haven't… He'll get up in a second. Right, Professor? You're ok, aren't you?"
There was no movement and no sound. Hermione was now holding herself up on a table as Pansy felt again for a pulse.
"You didn't like him anyway…" Said Pansy standing up.
"I didn't want him dead!" She squealed. "You killed a teacher! Oh we're in so much trouble."
"No we're not…" Pansy protested. It was an accident.
"He's dead… how can we not be in trouble? And what spell was that? I've never heard it before."
"I've heard my dad and his friends say the words a few times."
"And your dad's friends are?"
"…The Malfoy's…" Pansy said biting her bottom lip.
"Oh great… I'll have to research the spell and…"
"We have to get rid of the body!" Pansy said quickly, cutting Hermione's planning off.
"What?! Are you joking? …I've read that people joke when they're nervous."
Pansy stared at Hermione and folded her arms. "Of course I'm not joking!"
"Well… what the hell are we going to do with a dead Professor… and why am I still listening to you. We have to tell someone." Hermione headed towards the door.
"Right… and we'll say what exactly? We accidentally killed Professor Snape, but don't send us to Azkaban, we only use an illegal spell."
"Illegal!? You never said anything about illegal!"
"So we'll get rid of the body?"
"…I don't know!" Hermione said throwing her arms in the air. "How?"
"Oh it's really easy! All you do is…" Pansy trailed off. "Not that I know I'm just guessing here."
"…Right… ok. Well first lets get him out of sight." Hermione suggested pulling out her wand.
"Yes… Perhaps we can hid him under Draco's bed."
Hermione looked at Pansy with raised eyebrows.
"Now I'm joking!" Said Pansy rolling her eyes as Hermione muttered the words to move Snape.
"Mobilcorpus."
Snape lifted up off the floor and held in midair as if held by ropes. Moving her wand ever so carefully she moved Snape to the back of the dungeon and into a back room.
"What are we going to do with him?" Hermione asked finally as she set him down.
"I say we put him in the Forbidden Forest." Pansy replied closing the door and getting her things. "We can come back tonight and…"
The door to the dungeon opened and Professor Dumbledore entered. "Hello, Hermione, Pansy. Late studying are we?"
"Yes, Professor." Said the girls in unison.
"Ah… very good. Is Professor Snape around?" he asked.
"He's…" Pansy began shifting her balance from her right foot to her left foot.
"…Just left, Professor Dumbledore. As are we." Finished Hermione.
"Right!" agreed Pansy picking up the last book from the floor.
"Alright. Goodnight girls."
"Goodnight." They said leaving the Potions lab.
"That was so close!" Pansy exclaimed walking briskly away.
"Yeah…" Hermione replied. She dropped her head and sighed.
"What's wrong?"
"Oh I don't know. How about the fact that I just lied to Professor Dumbledore!"
"…You just killed Snape."
Hermione's eyes widened.
"Yeah! Suddenly the whole lying thing seems like nothing, eh?"
"Don't try to lighten the mood, Pansy."
"Oh… I didn't realise we were on a first name basis now."
Hermione narrowed her eyes at the Slytherin girl. "What time do we meet back here to move him?"
"About 2am?"
"Alright." Agreed Hermione walking away.
Pansy watched the bushy haired girl walk around the corner and then she began planning. If their plan didn't work, how could she turn this around on Hermione?
~~~
Hermione sat on the floor outside the Potion's classroom, with the invisibility cloak over her, waiting for Pansy. She checked the time again. 2:18am.
"Typical!"
Hermione closed her eyes for what seemed like ages. Then she checked the time again. 2:23am. She sighed and began to think Pansy had over slept and wasn't coming. Closing her eyes again she waiting. Surly she wouldn't forget something like this.
"Argh!" Shrieked Pansy as she went flying over and landed flat on her stomach.
Hermione woke with a star, ripped the invisibility cloak off her self and stood up. "There you are." She whispered. "Try to be a little quieter. Someone might here you."
Pansy glared. "How was I to know your stupid foot was there, and under an invisibility cloak no less." Pansy picked it up and admired it. "Where did you get this?" She asked. There was an obvious touch of jealously in her voice.
"It's a friends." Said Hermione taking it back. "I thought we could use it to cover ourselves and Snape."
Pansy nodded in agreement and tried the door to the Potions classroom. It was locked. "Uh oh…" Pansy turned back to Hermione. "It's locked!"
Hermione muttered something about not reading and then pulled her wand out. "Alohomora." She said in a whisper. The door clicked open and the two girls entered.
They walked to the back of the room and this time Pansy opened the door. She looked smugly back at Hermione.
"A first year could do that spell." She retorted and entered the backroom.
Pansy's face dropped and making a rude sign behind Hermione's back she followed her in.
"Oh good he's still here!" Pansy exclaimed.
"Well he's hardly likely to have just walked out is he?"
"Aren't we the witty one at this god forsaken hour?"
"That's very muggle of you, Parkinson." Said Hermione looking round at her.
Pansy pouted slightly and kept quiet. Where had she even heard that phrase? Too many bloody mud bloods. She thought to herself.
"Mobilcorpus." Hermione whispered for a second time that night.
And for a second time that night Professor Snape lifted into the air and was at the control of Hermione and her wand.
Pansy and Hermione walked along the corridor and then up the stairs towards the entrance hall. Mrs Norris walked around the corner and just as Hermione whispered to tell Pansy, Pansy stood on her tale. The cat screeched, hissed and spat as the two girls walked quickly towards the door.
Just as they reached the door Filch rounded the corner and picked up Mrs Norris. "Who's there? Who ever hurt my cat is in more trouble than they can handle."
Pansy and Hermione looked at each other under the invisibility cloak. Making sure there feet were tucked in and Snape wasn't showing, the two girls stood completely still until Filch moved on.
Several minutes later and barely escaping Filch, Pansy and Hermione were walking across the fields towards the Forbidden Forrest. For a brief moment Hermione considered going to Hagrid's, confessing the whole thing and ending this charade right now. She looked at Pansy; the poor girl was the one who killed him. And it was an accident, even if she was aiming for Hermione. No, she continued into the Forbidden Forest with Pansy and dead Professor Snape.
"He looks like he's sleeping." Pansy said, studying him carefully. "Do you think we should bury him?"
Hermione chuckled to herself inside as she folded up the invisibility cloak. Pansy seemed so detached from her emotions, that you could believe she didn't have any. "I don't know. I've never dumped a body before, perhaps you can enlighten me?"
Pansy turned around and glared. "I'm not a murderer, you know." She snapped.
"Oh really?" Hermione snapped back. She'd had just about enough of Pansy and her self-centred attitude.
"Yes, really."
"Look around you, Pansy…" Said Hermione, letting Snape drop to the ground and pointing her wand at the earth. It immediately began digging into the ground.
Pansy looked at Hermione and what she was doing. A smile appeared across the Slytherin girls face.
"What are you smirking at?"
"I'm looking around at the situation like you said."
"And what's so funny?"
"…When they find his body they'll see if any spells were cast and I'm guessing they'll cast one to see who's wand it was. And look at you… doing all these spells so we can bury him."
Hermione stopped and put her wand away, but it was too late. There was a six-foot hole in the ground that Pansy immediately rolled Snape into. "You can cover him." Said Hermione. "Then we'll never speak of this again."
"You cover him, there's no point bringing two wands into this."
Reluctantly, Hermione pulled her wand out again and set it to work covering the hole.
As the two girls made there way back to the Castle under the invisibility cloak, they didn't speak. Not because of the fear of being caught, but because of the anger and tension that had been building up between them.
"I'll walk back to the dungeons with you so Filch doesn't see you out of bed." Hermione whispered.
Pansy, slightly shocked at Hermione's generosity, nodded. When they reached the dungeons, Pansy took off the invisibility cloak. "Thank you." She said in a whisper.
"No problem… What that hard to say to me?" Hermione asked.
"Imagine Draco saying sorry to Potter."
Hermione's eyes widened, "That hard, eh?"
Pansy nodded and then turned to leave. "Goodnight, Granger." She said in another whisper, only this time Hermione didn't hear her because she had disappeared back under her cloak.
Hermione watched the Slytherin girl leave, she could hardly believe Pansy Parkinson had just said thank you to her. Half in shock she made her way back up to Gryfinndor tower, dropping Harry's cloak off on the way.
~~~
Hermione Granger entered the noisy Great Hall nervously. She sat down at the Gryfinndor table, taking some bacon and toast she waited. Surely someone would notice that Snape wasn't there. Surely Dumbledore would announce that Snape was missing, and surely any second the Ministry would enter the hall and arrest Pansy and Hermione for murdering professor Snape.
"Hermione?" came a voice from her left.
Hermione immediately snapped back to her senses. "Yeah?"
"You have a glazed expression. You all right?" asked Ginny reaching to feel Hermione forehead. "You're not warm."
All colour suddenly drained from Hermione's face and she gasped for her breath as the bacon went down her throat.
"Hermione, you look like you've seen a ghost."
"Snape… he's…"
"He's our Potion's master… has been for six years." Stated Ron from across the table.
"But he's… dead."
"Oh we wish!" Ginny exclaimed.
"He's…"
"What's going on?" asked Dumbledore walking up to the Gryfinndor table.
"Hermione is having some sort of seizure." Said Ron calmly.
"Miss Granger… lets go to my office shall we?"
Hermione nodded and Dumbledore whispered something to McGonagall before they left.
Hermione stayed silent while they walked. She was still silent when they entered Dumbledore's Office. He suggested she sit down and she did.
"Hermione…" he began. " Do you want to start from the beginning?"
She nodded and began telling him everything that happened last night.
He nodded as she spoke, he nodded as she cried and he nodded as she brought the story to the end.
"Pansy Parkinson is on her way. I want to hear what she has to say as well, you understand?"
Now it was Hermione's turn to nod. "Yes Professor.
The door knocked and Pansy entered with Professor McGonagall. She looked white; apparently she'd had the same fright as Hermione. Snape was at breakfast, he wasn't dead and he wasn't a ghost.
"Hermione did it!" Pansy screeched. "Look whose wand it was! Did you?"
"Pansy… Please don't lie to me. You're already in enough trouble as it is."
"But I didn't…" Pansy trailed off and glared at Hermione. "If I get the Deatheaters Kiss it's all your fault…"
"My fault! You're the one who…"
"Girls!" McGonagall shouted rather loudly. "Please… We know what happened."
"Hermione's lying!" Pansy added.
Dumbledore raised his hands and stood up. "Girls… no one's getting a Deatheaters Kiss. You didn't kill anybody but you are in trouble." He paced around the room a little and then sat down again.
"I have a question." Said Hermione.
"How was Snape at breakfast?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes."
"Pansy didn't kill him, that spell of hers was illegal, but it was only like the living dead potion. Snape was merely in a dead slumber."
"Where did you hear of it?" McGonagall asked sternly.
Pansy stared up at her and then she looked at her feet. "My father, but please don't tell the Ministry. He'd be in so much trouble."
Dumbledore nodded, and continued about Snape. "Snape remembers nothing, that I will say and I'm hesitant to get the Ministry involved. However Snape does deserve to know."
Pansy sighed. "He'll expel us."
"No he won't, but he will be angry. You can go to your morning class and if there's any problems I will talk to you both before I talk to the Ministry."
Hermione and Pansy looked at each other, nodded and they both left.
~~~
"You think it wise Albus, to let them both off with this?"
"Minerva, what do you want me to do? Let the ministry tear their lives apart, when all they did was cover up an accident?"
"I see your point."
"Besides… The Ministry already know the Parkinson's are known Deatheaters. Why tear her family apart before it need be?"
Minerva McGonagall walked to her first class of the day. She saw Albus Dumbledore's point, but sometimes. Sometimes she thought him too senile for Headmaster of Hogwarts. "One day Albus, one day the Ministry will catch you up."
The End
A/N
Well? It's begging for a review so please grace me with one.
I've written a Snape's Response scene. However I was unsure if it needed it. If it does I'll add it for chapter two. Just remember to let me know!
Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it.
~Liberty