There was a time, when I was a young Guardian, that I had hope for the future.
My Ghost regaled me with tales of Guardians long passed who had performed great deeds in the name of the Traveler. My own mentor, Cayde, was a legend himself. Zavala had been a part of the Battle of Twilight Gap. Ikora Rey, despite her arrogance, had survived numerous missions. She had been reckless. I understood why.
It was an honor, I thought at first, being chosen to fight the Darkness. It was a second chance at living. Honestly I thought it had been cut too short at first. There hadn't even been a chance to fight back. Stuck on that highway in pre-Collapse traffic. All of us had been hopeless that day. Powerless to stop the fires of war that had swept Earth as the Darkness closed in. We had been so close to the Traveler. To safety. But we hadn't made it.
But I had been chosen as a champion of the Light. A Guardian with the power to fight back. The ability to summon a revolver of righteous flame. The Golden Gun, Cayde had called it. A marksman's weapon. At the time I felt like I had a weapon to win the whole war. There was almost nothing that could stand against the power of my Light. The Fallen on Earth were crushed each time I went into the field, a trusty revolver in my hand and Ghost leading me onwards. The amount of pride I felt when Sepiks Prime fell to my fireteam and I still made my heart beat a little fast.
Proud. So incredibly proud to be a part of the forces working to strike back.
But somewhere along the way I began to grow old. Friends died, leaving their Ghosts alone, or their Ghosts died and they left. Either way, it chipped away bit by bit at the hope for the future I had always possessed. But I still fought on. The moon quickly became my next test, and then Venus, where I was summoned by my strange Exo friend, and then Mars. By the time I ended the heart of the Black Garden, I felt tired. But still I had to fight.
Eris enlisted my help to prevent Crota's return. A veritable demigod to the Hive. The biggest threat to the safety of the City since the Black Garden. It took several weeks to take down his support structure. And then it took six of the City's finest Guardians to descend into the Pit and finish what Eris and her fireteam had started. After Crota fell, I was optimistic. Surely - surely - there would be relative peace. A chance for the Guardians to strike a blow towards taking back Earth, which, I believed, was the first thing the Vanguard wanted to accomplish.
Instead, the Queen of the Reef summoned me.
This, I reflected, I didn't begrudge much. I owed her a favor, and despite the haughty attitude the Awoken seemed to have, I respected her. She was a natural born leader among her people, commanding the loyalty from all that she led. The House of Wolves had been making trouble, it seemed. Rebelling against her rule and striking out with their new Kell, Skolas. So much for relative peace, I had thought. Another day, another threat to the City. And once again, a distraction from helping me to retake our home.
It turned out the Wolves were more tenacious than anybody gave them credit for. They took over the House of Winter on Venus, almost took the House of Kings, and wanted to try to take the House of Devils. It was ambitious; a plan wrought by the desperate, but certainly not the strong. It took work to dislodge the Wolves, but Skolas finally fell at my feet, even with his time manipulating. Clever bastard.
Not that he lasted much longer. The Queen had merely wanted him weakened and captured to serve as an example to those who would dare go against her. But he began to make trouble in the Prison of Elders, so he had to be taken down for good. A tough fight to be sure, but it ultimately paid off. With nothing else immediately threatening our status qou, we were finally sent on strikes against the Fallen and Hive on Earth. They were nowhere near as challenging as the fights I'd been in in the past, but all were worth it. I finally thought I was making a real difference.
Then came the distress call from Phobos.
In my gut, I knew something had gone terribly wrong. But Zavala merely thought it was for a full scale invasion. Either way it was bad, but the Cabal didn't throw out distress signals for no reason. And when I arrived... it shattered whatever lingering belief I had that the City would be able to stand against the Darkness. The mere sight of Oryx sent a chill through me. We hadn't saved anything when we'd destroyed Crota down in that pit. All we'd done was beckon doom to the known galaxy.
"And so I leave you this final recording, Cayde," I spoke plainly to the open air, my Ghost beside me as we stared into the expanse of space. "I have given my heart and soul to the City. But against Oryx and his Taken I can't see the Light anymore. I'm sorry, but this is goodbye. Gwen out."
I already knew Ghost had stopped recording when I gave my final farewell.
"Are you ready, Ghost?"
He was silent, a sorrow permeating between us that was almost stifling.
"If that is your wish."
"It is," I affirmed immediately. "Set a course for the Dreadnaught. With luck i'll be able to take a few of them down with me. You get back to the Tower and deliver that message." I took a deep breath as the calculations got put in. "Goodbye, Ghost. I'll miss you."
He winked out of existence after that, presumably on his way back to Earth, and my ship hurtled towards Saturn. Sighing, I watched the cosmos fly by at blinding speeds. I had hope once, a long time ago. Now the only hope I had was to put up a good fight. One last time.
A/N; I got really bored at work last night and wrote this up. I like to think that not all Guardians that lose hope fall to the Darkness. I like to think that some choose to fight for the Light to their last breaths. Excuse my spelling/grammar issues xD typing on mobile near midnight a good fic does not make.