I usually don't write single chapter, one off, oneshots. Normally the short stories I occasionally write are for therapeutic reasons or because I can't find what I like so I write instead, or it is a tie into a larger story but I was watching 'Antibug' again the other day and this story idea came into my head and I couldn't get it out until I wrote it, so here it is. This is just a fun little oneshot based on a few fan theories I have regarding the show so short of a lot of support I doubt I will make this into something more. The theories here will likely tie into my Miraculous Revelations oneshot series as well as an upcoming project I am working on regarding Miraculous that may get published this summer, though come June 18th my main focus will be one my epic crossover series as the second book in that series begins its weekly publication schedule then. Anyway sit back and enjoy this odd, hopefully funny, and simple oneshot that I created at 4am in a sleep deprived haze.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Miraculous Ladybug.
Unrequited Love
"Juleka, do you have a minute?" Sabrina asked in a quiet, nervous, voice as she grabbed the goth girl's arm in the locker room. It was the end of the school day and they were the only people left in the locker room. "I need to speak to you about something."
"You need to speak to me?" Juleka asked in her usual quiet voice turning to look surprised at the smaller girl. "No offense Sabrina but we don't usually talk except when we absolutely have to."
"I know but you are the only one I think I can talk to about this." Sabrina said her head down, not meeting the other girl's gaze. "I know we don't speak much but this is important."
Sabrina had waited a long time to catch Juleka alone at school, be it here or elsewhere, but this was something something she needed to talk to someone about and Juleka was probably the only girl she could confide this in. It had taken Sabrina a few years just to come to terms with it to herself and then even longer to find the courage to confide in someone else. After observing her class, that someone could only be Juleka Couffaine.
"Why me?" Juleka asked clearly confused. "Why not Chloe? She is your best friend after all."
"I, I can't talk to Chloe about this." Sabrina said quietly. "I just can't, she wouldn't understand but you might. Please Juleka, you are probably the only person I can talk to about this. I have been trying to get you alone for a while, let alone find the guts to confide in you. I know haven't exactly been a great friend over the years and for that I am deeply sorry but I need you to look past that right now. Please, I need your help."
"It's ok Sabrina, I know your not like Chloe. I don't blame you for what she has done to me and well everyone else." Juleka said with a small smile as she looked down at the red headed girl. "Come on, let's go find somewhere private to talk then. I have no idea what this is about, or why you can't go to Chloe, but I have never seen you so sincere and my mother always said it was best to help others when they needed it."
Sabrina smiled as the taller girl took her hand and led here through the deserted school and into the library. Once there Juleka led them to a quiet study room that was used for group projects or if the person wanted somewhere private to work for a bit. As soon as they were in the small soundproof room and the door was closed Juleka sat down at the table in the center of the room and gestured for Sabrina to join her at it.
"Well Sabrina, what is this about?" Juleka asked with a kind smile. "We won't be disturbed here."
"First I have to ask and I know that this is a tough question but I need confirmation." Sabrina said biting her lip nervously. "Juleka, are you gay?"
Sabrina had been trying to figure out if Juleka was into women for a while and now she was certain of it, pending Juleka's confirmation that is. It wasn't something that was frowned upon in France, in fact it was very much accepted compared to other countries but it was still a very private question to ask someone. Judging by Juleka's shocked, wide eyed expression Sabrina had guessed correctly and hastened to add.
"I swear on my life that I won't tell Chloe or anyone else who I may talk to, but it is important that I know."
"I, I, I." Juleka stuttered out before seeing the seriousness in Sabrina's eyes and knew that the girl wouldn't tell a sole. Sighing Juleka said what she had always known in her heart to be true. "Yes, I, I am gay. Wow I have never admitted that to anyone, not even to myself. It feels good, like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I am trusting you here Sabrina, don't fuck me over."
"I promise I won't." Sabrina said hurriedly pleased to know that her suspicions were correct and that Juleka was the person she had to talk to. "I just needed to know before we continued. Honestly most people suspect that you are at least bi."
"They do?" Juleka said with another shocked expression. "I didn't think I was that obvious."
"Juleka, you have never had a boyfriend or seemed interested in boys whatsoever." Sabrina said with a kind smile at the purple haired girl. "At least not in the way expected of us girls to be. You know the talking about who's hot, who you have a crush on, that sorta thing. That and we can all tell that you have a massive crush on Rose and the Rose either has one on you or is completely clueless to your feelings for her."
"Its almost certainly the latter with Rose." Juleka said with a small, sad, smile. "But yes I do like Rose as more than a friend. She is my antithesis, my exact opposite and yet I feel like she completes me. She is the extrovert to my introvert, the loud to my quiet, the bright to my dull, the light to my dark. I love her and have for a long time, but I have no idea if she sees me as a best friend or something more. It is really hard tell with her given her personality and her admiration for Prince Ali though I think that is just because of what he does for children. She did kiss me on the lips during the Zombizou akuma attack but she had been infected so I thought nothing of it, other than to enjoy it that is. I thought I had hidden my feelings for her pretty well but I guess not."
"Please Juleka, only Marinette's massive crush on Adrien is more obvious." Sabrina said with a smile and a dismissive gesture at Juleka. "Rose is just as blind as Adrien is it seems."
"True that girl is anything but subtle when it comes down to Adrien." Juleka said with a light laugh. "Even Rose can tell, only Adrien is oblivious to Marinette's feelings towards him."
"Can I ask another question?" Sabrina asked bringing it back to the serious conversation she had wanted to have with Juleka.
"Seeing as we are already having this very personal conversation I don't see why not." Juleka said with a shrug. "But you still have to explain why you wanted to talk to me."
"I will in a minute." Sabrina said truthfully, she owed Juleka that much. "But first I want to know, when did you know?"
"Know what?"
"That you were gay?" Sabrina asked quietly. "I, I don't really understand it you see."
"Oh that." Juleka said then gave another shrug. "Should have guessed that that was what you were asking. To answer your question, I guess I always knew. I don't exactly have what you would call a normal family but my mother always taught us to embrace ourselves for who we are and to be who we wanted to be. If we were who we wanted to be and not what anyone else expected us or wanted us to be then we would be happy. At least that's what mother thought and it worked out well for Luka and me. Anyway, I was never into girly things growing up, not that that is a sign of homosexuality that is, I just didn't conform to the societal aspects of the female gender. Hell, just look at Alix, she's straight but the biggest tomboy in the school, she would never do anything girly as far as I know. For me I was always into dark colors, scary things except black cats, and all that goth shit. As I got older, I just never found guys attractive and I never really tried to do so either. I have male friends but I was never crushing on them like my female friends at the time where. I instead found myself attracted to girls and that's when I met Rose. I fell for her right away. I was confused at first cos I thought I was supposed to like guys but I didn't, I liked the most girly girl imaginable despite her criminal obsession with pink"
At this Sabrina laughed and nodded in agreement, Rose did have an unhealthy love for the color pink even by female standards. Juleka paused at Sabrina's laugh and smiled at her before continuing.
"As you know it is hard for teenage girls to talk to our parents and I didn't talk to my mom about my feelings cos it felt too awkward a conversation to have. I just followed her advice and admitted to myself that I was attracted to Rose. I embraced my crush and later love for her just as much as I have embraced my unique fashion sense. I haven't admitted it out load to anyone until today but it never really ate me up inside or made me feel bad the way I have heard it can do to certain people. I guess a lot of it has to do with a persons upbringing but I could be wrong. I dunno, it's a hard thing for me explain. Honestly I don't think anyone can explain human sexuality beyond saying that you are born attracted to either men, women or both and that there are certain preferences you develop as you age and grow sexually."
"Oh ok." Sabrina said mulling over Juleka's words. It was the most Sabrina had ever heard the quiet girl speak in one go in her life, then again Sabrina herself was pretty quiet.
"Why do you ask?" Juleka asked softly and kindly to Sabrina.
"Oh well." Sabrina said suddenly feeling her heartbeat increase exponentially and butterflies appear in her stomach. "It's cos, it's cos I needed to talk to someone who has been through what you have been through."
"But why?" Juleka asked still confused at why Sabrina had wanted to talk to her about something so personal.
"Because…" Sabrina began before inhaling deeply and finally saying what she had been denying to herself for years. "Because I am just like you. Juleka, I'm gay. I have been in love with Chloe for years but couldn't admit it to myself until very recently."
Juleka just stared open mouthed at Sabrina who was suddenly shaking and silently crying in front of her. The confession had clearly taken a lot of courage to make and the emotions were clearly taking a toll Sabrina. Whatever Sabrina had wanted to talk to her about, coming out of the closet to her had not been what Juleka was expecting. Even with all the questions clearly indicating that Sabrina had an internal conflict on the issue, this was still a shock to Juleka. It explained why the plain girl had come to her for advice. Reaching across the table Juleka took Sabrina's hand and squeezed gently.
"There, there. Sabrina, there is no need to be upset." Juleka said softly and kindly to the still crying girl once the shock of Sabrina's confession had worn off. "It's perfectly normal to feel the way you feel, we only about 4% of women in Paris feel that way so not the norm but who you are attracted to is a biological thing a normal function of the human body and mind. I have always subscribed to the belief that you are born straight, gay or bi. I admit I was surprised at first but the more I think about it, well it does explain a lot."
"It does?" Sabrina croaked out wiping her eyes and smiling at Juleka's words.
"Of course it does." Juleka said with a smile of her own. "It explains why you are always so close to and loyal to Chloe when she is a colossal bitch, no offense. Though I must admit unlike me or Marinette your crush is not obvious for all to see. Honestly I doubt anyone would see this, you hide it pretty well."
"None taken, I know she can be a handful." Sabrina said as she stopped crying and smiled again. "Remember I am one of her many akuma victims."
"As am I." Juleka said with a laugh. "We should start a club, Chloe Akumas Anonymous."
"I think there are too many people in Paris for that club unless we decide to make multiple groups for it." Sabrina said laughing with Juleka before getting serious again. "But yes you are right, I am loyal to her because I love her. She has her fair share of flaws, more than the average person if I'm being honest, but I have always seen a gentler side to her, even if she can be exploitative at times. Besides she may be a spoilt brat but she does have a forceful personality and no shits attitude that I find irresistible. I honestly don't hide it as well as I would like, but Chloe's personality is so in your face and out there that people pretty much ignore me or only see me as her only friend, which helps keep my secret pretty well. I just needed to talk to someone who would know what I was going through and well you are the only one in our class who I thought was definitely at least into girls."
"That I am." Juleka said still smiling slightly. "I wont lie, Chloe is hot as fuck but way to domineering, controlling, mean and bitchy for me to be attracted too on an emotional level and that is what I crave. I need a girl who is nice and kind and who I can have an emotional connection too."
"And while Rose is cute and adorable she is too submissive and happy for me." Sabrina said with a smile glad to finally have someone to talk to about this. "I am naturally submissive, a bottom to use the correct jargon I think, so I need a strong woman to take control and well there is no denying that Chloe is strong in her own right."
"That is true." Juleka said with a laugh. "So why did you come to me if you have figured all this out yourself."
"I guess I just needed someone to talk to about it, you know get it off my chest as you said." Sabrina said with a shrug, she had stopped crying and seemed happy again, happier than Juleka had ever seen her if she was being honest. "It took me a while to realize that reason why I never had a crush on a guy no matter how attractive they were physically, emotionally, or both, was because I was in love with my best friend. Then, well I was scared and confused. I was in love with another girl. It didn't feel right even though I knew it shouldn't matter but the human brain is an odd thing. It took a long time for me to admit it to myself that I am gay, and then even longer to find the courage to come out to someone. Once I acknowledged and tried to embrace my own feelings for Chloe it wasn't hard to realize that you were similar to me though your feelings are for Rose. Besides only about 4% of the country identifies as lesbians, less than 1% in our current age group though that is higher in Paris I believe so finding someone to confide in who was like was hard."
"I see, yes we are a much smaller portion of the population than are made out to be by either side of the LGBT debate." Juleka said with a nod of agreement. "We just happen to have a pretty loud base that gets right in your face, have a lot of liberal allies who love to use us to virtue signal and arguably because of all this wield greater political power than a minority our size would usually wield in a liberal democracy such as France."
"Huh?"
"Sorry my mother is a far left musician, I hear things like this." Juleka said with a small blush. "Usually I just ignore them. I am not some piece of diversity meat to be trotted out by guilty leftists, just treat me like any other human being and let me live my life the way I want to live it, free from interference from either side. Anyway back to the topic at hand, I assume there is a reason why you couldn't confess to Chloe."
"What and be rejected and laughed at by the girl I love." Sabrina said with a look of fear and terror on her face. "I could never admit to her how I feel about her. I know that she is straight, though she would probably make an exception for Ladybug if Ladybug made a move on her."
"Yes but Ladybug is amazing." Juleka said. "I would totally do her if she was into girls."
"Same but I don't think she is." Sabrina said bluntly and both girls laughed before continuing. "Besides Chloe loves Adrien, though not as much or for as pure reasons as Marinette does. I know that my love for her is and will always be an unrequited love. It will never go anywhere, I just needed to talk to someone or else I might loose myself to a deep depression. This shit has been eating me up inside and warring within me for a long time, I needed to talk to someone just so that I could have some peace of mind. I will always love Chloe, but I had to talk to someone who was similar to me to regain my sanity and try to move on from her. Then I might be able to find someone else, someone who is actually into girls like me."
"I understand." Juleka said realizing that she was still holding Sabrina's hand across the table but neither had made a move to change that. "As fun as cuddling with Rose is, and it is a lot of fun, it is still hard cos I feel that my love for her is unrequited as well so the closeness doesn't mean to her what it means to me if that makes sense."
"I think with Rose it is just her being naive to the whole dating and feelings scene." Sabrina said after a moments though about Rose's bubbly, almost childlike, personality. "She's going to be a late bloomer when it comes to this kinda stuff. Just stick in there Juleka."
"Thanks." Juleka said with a smile. The more she got to know Sabrina the more she realized that she, and everyone else, had underestimated Chloe's only true friend. "All we need is Marinette and we can start our own unrequited love club."
"Haha yeah that would be amusing." Sabrina said with a laugh. "We could complain and commiserate together about how we are in love with oblivious morons who may, or in my case won't, love us back. I am pretty sure that it will all work out in the end for Marinette though, Adrien will see her for who she is at some point so long as Marinette stops being a blushing, clumsy, mess around him whenever he speaks to her that is. Thank you Juleka, I really needed this talk."
"Honestly so did I." Juleka said smiling, the happiness clear in her one visible eye. "I didn't realize how much I had bottled up by not admitting the truth out loud to myself, or how much I needed to talk to another dyke until today so thank you Sabrina, you have helped me as much as I helped you."
Sabrina didn't really know why she did what she did next but she felt like it was the right thing to do. Standing she let go of Juleka's hand and walked around the table and before the goth girl could say anything she had bent down and kissed the other girl on the lips. It was supposed to be a brief kiss just to see what it was like to finally kiss another girl but it deepened almost at once. Juleka was fully taken aback by the action, her eyes going wide once more but she quickly closed them, wrapping her long arms around Sabrina's neck as she sank into the moment, her first true lesbian kiss. Neither girl had feelings for the other in a deeper way but after what they had just talked about it was something both needed.
"Sorry." Sabrina said pulling away as the kiss ended a blush on her cheeks. "I, I don't know what came over me but I really needed that."
"So did I." Juleka said with a smile and a blush of her own. "Though don't expect me to try for you anytime soon, I am still waiting on Rose."
"I wouldn't expect any less." Sabrina said with a smile. "And I still need to get over my crush on Chloe but now that at least someone else knows, someone who understands what I am going through I feel much better. Now I need to go and do Chloe's homework, I'll call you later so we can talk more though we should keep all of this a secret, I am not ready to come out to the world."
"I am always here if you need me." Juleka said with a smile as Sabrina turned and headed for the door out of the study room. "Who else am I going to talk to about lesbian shit, we both need the outlet. Don't worry, this will all be our little secret until we are ready to come out cos I'm sure as shit not ready to come out either."
"Same here, I need another dyke to talk to about certain things that straight girls wouldn't understand." Sabrina said as she reached the door and smiled at Juleka. "See you tomorrow Juleka though I will have to act normal for Chloe."
"You too Sabrina." Juleka said as the other girl left before adding to the quiet room. "I understand but give me a little time and I will show the world the real Sabrina Raincomprix, the one I didn't even know existed until today."
Juleka then sat back and smiled as the door closed behind Sabrina. She had never been close with the other girl because of Sabrina's friendship to Chloe but now she felt a bond with Sabrina, a closeness she had never felt with anyone other than Rose and that closeness with Rose was a different level to anything else in Juleka's life. Her newfound closeness to Sabrina was different to her closeness with Rose because it was based on something that only they shared, a bond that only they had at the moment. Sabrina would be the only person she could turn to when she needed to talk about Rose being oblivious and unknowingly toying with her heart. It wasn't hard to form the bond as both were both closeted lesbians, though Juleka did plan to come out at some point.
Juleka sighed as she touched her lips with her fingers, staring into space, and wondering what her first proper kiss with Rose, should that ever happen, would be like. Hopefully it would be everything she expected it would be. Hopefully it would be as magical as she dreamed it would be. However as she sat there staring into space her mind kept coming back to the kiss that she had just shared with Sabrina and all that it represented.
So yeah the theory that Sabrina is attracted to Chloe started nagging at me when I watched 'Antibug' again. I will save y'all my views on LGBT in Miraculous, if you are curious about them then check out 'Oblivious', the 5th oneshot in my Miraculous Revelations series (yes this is a shameless shout out to my other work on fanfiction) for a more detailed description on my views and theories regarding LGBT characters in kids shows and in Miraculous. Both Sabrina and Juleka being gay will continue to be the case in my Miraculous Revelations series as well as an upcoming story entitled 'A Magical Summer in New York' (no more details other than the title) that I am writing this summer and intend to try and publish once it is done. Of course neither girl will play major roles in my series as they are supporting characters to Marinette and Adrien. Anyway enough ramblings, hopefully y'all enjoyed this oneshot that I wrote to get out of my head and if so do not hesitate to leave a review.
Stringdog