A/N: eh, I was bored so… plus I have writer's block so writing every little drabble/one-shot that pops into my head… enjoy!
Disclaimer: Trust me I could never write a book series as awesome as AR. I've tried because of a school project but… AKA me no own!
Title: The heart of an assassin
Summary: Even an assassin as a heart. Morals. It's a job. With pros and cons. But you know when to draw the line. There is a difference between a killer and an assassin. But how much is your own and how much is for your employer? Where is the line drawn? "I don't kill children little Alex" was it only an excuse? What is his connection?
There is a difference.
There is a dividing line.
A killer kills for no reason.
A murderer murders for their own gain and the feeling of blood on their hands.
An assassin shots unfeelingly.
It's a job.
The target has no name.
The target has no family.
If you humanize a target you can't shot.
Not even the worst villains are that heartless.
Yassen Gregorvitch is not a killer.
He is not a murderer.
He is an assassin.
John Rider was not an assassin.
He was a spy.
Alex Rider is not a spy.
He is a child.
He is in way over his head.
He is too young to kill.
It's a bit like playing god.
You make the rules.
You hold all the cards.
You hide in the shadows.
You chose who lives and dies.
Which fragments become stained?
Ghosts of the past lurk in the shadows.
You're only human.
You lie.
You drag up little bits of truth.
You unfold secrets.
You hide under a cover.
You have a heart.
You have morals.
You do not kill children.
Or do you?
You have limits.
But limits can break.
Everyone thinks there're the good guys in the equation.
Is it an excuse?
So you don't have to kill Rider child?
So you can protect your secrets?
So your heart won't break if he dies?
So he doesn't think you'll always save his life?
Or is it to save his life?
You're not really sure.
He is little Alex.
Always has been.
Always will be.
But little Alex isn't so little.
He's lost everything.
He thinks he's lost you.
Better to learn sleeping dogs lie. Right?
Then to drag up old scars and wounds.
Little Alex has killed.
But he is not a killer.
He's an assassin.
He's a spy.
He's not evil.
But, not exactly the good guy.
He's somewhere in the middle.
Like you.
But you can't tell him that.
There's a difference.
You told him that once.
A killer is for nothing but the blood on his hands.
An assassin is different.
It's a target.
Not a person.
It's a job.
Not a hobby.
I don't kill children.
I don't kill friends.
Maybe it was an excuse.
Maybe it was a semi-truthful lie.
Maybe you wanted him to see through it.
Maybe he did.
But you're not a killer.
Little Alex is not a killer.
Assassin?
Yes.
Spy?
Yes.
There's a difference.
There are still ghosts lurking.
But it's less guilty.
It's not your fault.
You pulled the trigger but it wasn't your choice.
Trust will get you killed.
Maybe that's why you pushed him away.
There is dark and light.
But there is no black and white.
There is a difference.
Really.
Right?
It's your job to pull the trigger.
Not to shatter glass hearts.
Not to build up dreams or wishes.
Not to feel.
There's a difference.
You know that.
You just hope that he does too.
You just hope little Alex knows the truth.
That's the heart of the assassin.
You learn to live with it.