Hello again! departedsoul here! Yes, I have come up with yet another crack story. This first chapter isn't that amazing, or high as a kite chaos, but this sets the feel and what's going on. The next chapters however...XD*grins evilly* MUWAHAHAHAHA!

***********Please read the following! It's VERY IMPORTANT! .************

***An important story note: Please note that this does not actually happen in the Naruto storyline, it is FANMADE and is only set during the time of the war.

Also...

*****MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!******

If you are not up to date with the Naruto manga, and I believe even the Japanese anime, please do not read this. It will be sort of a major wet blanket if you're still reading about the Uchiha brother battle and you come to this...also if you still don't know who the leader of Akatsuki is...

Another note, I'm using a lot of relations in this story such as family. Example being Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro are siblings. The Third Hokage is Asuma's father. Things like that. If I'm forgetting someone, PLEASE TELL ME. Also, if anything is unclear about the story or about the relations, Naruto situation, or something's just bugging you-Or if I get a name/title wrong!PLEASE TELL ME.

I believe that's all I've got to say, so for now, enjoy the craziness and don't fall asleep on beaches! I did...I'm Indian and now my back says I'm African...no racist remark or comment intended there. My back is just that dark...Enjoy!

Oh the humanity...

It was a warm sunny day in the Land of Grass. The sun shone down and warmed one's skin on contact. The skies were blue and mostly free of wandering clouds, but a few fluffy cotton balls dotted the sky, lazily floating through the air. The Land of Grass was where the 5 Kages were currently at for another meeting. They had gained control of the Impure World Resurrection victims and now were trying to figure out what Kabuto was going to do next and what they should do with the revived corpses. Another thing was that the Third and Fourth Hokages had somehow been revived; seemingly wasting the chakra they had in their last living moments to summon the Demon that would seal them off from being summoned in death. It gave the living kages a headache and shudders just to wonder how Kabuto could of revived the two great fighters.

"Gaara, Kankuro! Hurry up! We're already late!"Temari hurried down the cobblestone walkway, her younger brothers walking more calmly behind. "We'll be fine."Kankuro shrugged off. "Come on! We can't have the Kazekage late!" "It's no big deal. Gaara will get there on time, just chill. We'll get even more behind if you trip over your own two feet and sprain your ankle on the way." "Do you realize what this meeting's about?"Temari asked her middle brother, still ahead of the two. Kankuro shrugged. "Battle strategies, Impure World Resurrection, Sasuke Uchiha, protect Naruto and Bee...The norm."The puppeteer said nonchalantly. Gaara nodded beside him as Temari entered the main building. "Aside from those normal points, we urgently need to discuss what to do with those revived.."Temari nodded from inside the building, hawk-hearing to receive Gaara's voice.

"That's why we need to get you there!"Temari said, still rushing, as her brothers also entered the building. "Relax, Temari, we're almost there."Kankuro pointed out. Temari decided it was time to ignore him. She knew if it wasn't for her, Gaara would have died from forgetting to eat and Kankuro would have slept right through a week of missions. Now they needed someone to rush them, and since it wasn't an epic, blood rushing fight, they probably would take their time. Scratch that. They WERE. "Temari, you're going to run into someone." Gaara pointed out. "Then that's their problem."The brothers began to quicken their pace a little bit, but Temari was still ahead of them, passing a conjoining corridor that lead into the hallway they were in. As Temari sped past, someone who was walking almost equally as fast-though not on purpose-ran into her, coming from the connecting hall. "Hey! Watch where you're going you brainless-"Temari looked up and stopped mid spitting comments. She stared, her mouth still open.

"I was wondering who'd be in such a hurry..."The Fourth Kazekage said, looking down at Temari and glancing over to the advancing Gaara and Kankuro. As the brothers stopped next to their sister, there was visible tension in the air. "Shouldn't you be in hell? Giving Satan his daily foot massage or something?"Kankuro asked, disgusted they ran into their father. "Cute. I'm on my way to the meeting, not that it's your business. Don't tell me one of you got appointed Kazekage...especially not him."He said, looking at Gaara. "Ding ding ding, we haave a winner!"Temari said. The dead man visibly tensed up. "They instilled a DEMON as kage?"He stiffly asked. "Mmhm."Temari said. "Well, technically not anymore. Gaara's as normal as the next guy now."Kankuro added. "What?" "He died when Akatsuki captured him and dissected the demon from him. Then Granny Chiyo gave up her life to bring him back to life." "That old hag died for HIM?"He asked. "Yeah, no prob. Hey shouldn't we be getting to the meeting?"Kankuro brought up.

"How anyone can die for a selfish being is completely beyond me. I find it utterly repulsive."The 4th Kazekage said. With that, he abruptly turned away and continued down the corridor to the meeting. Kankuro rolled his eyes. "He's just pissed." "Yeah, he's just jealous someone didn't die for HIM."Temari added nonchalantly as the three siblings started down the hallway as well.

As the three siblings pushed open the large wooden brown doors, they were greeted by the sight of a large room with a huge wood table in the middle. Surrounding the table, sitting all around it were important peoples such as the feudal lords and the kage. Including the dead kage. Also, there were some clan leaders there as well such as the Hyuuga's leader Hiashi and the Nara clan leader Shikaku being examples from the Leaf village. The children saw their father taking a seat, leaving two empty spots on each side of him. The three sand siblings headed that way and Gaara sat on the fourth's right.

"Now that everyone is here," The Fourth Raikage A began, "we can discuss a very important matter: what to do with the dead? We all know that they were under control of the Impure World Resurrection, but for some reason, now the link has been lost. We must consider whether or not it's safe to have these zombies around our Bijuu!What if this is all in Kabuto's plan?" "Calm down Lord Raikage."Shikaku Nara advised. "I'm not sure about it yet, but I have the feeling Madara's plan will soon kick into action. I am a bit sketchy as to whether or not it's safe to have these guys around, but for right now, how 'bout we just get info from them and monitor them?" "It's not like we can do anything else if you think about it..."The Fifth Mizukage put in. "Unless we were to seal them all..."

"That's why I personally think this is-for now-one of the only actions we can take."Shikaku said. "Maybe we can have Inoichi and the interrogators go through everyone's head..." "That could work..."The Yamanaka said, pondering his friend's words. "Also, we should note what abilities, bloodline traits, and jutsus everyone knows. That way, if they truly do go back under Kabuto, we know how to counter their moves. We don't have to exactly memorize them, we should just have the information on hand and know about the strongest opponents. With the information we'd know who the biggest threat was."Shikaku added. The Raikage seemed to ponder over this.

"True...Tsunade, again I'm saying I'm impressed with your caliber of ninja!"A said to the Fifth Hokage. Tsunade slightly smirked. "I'm glad. My ninja are truly ones to be feared."The Third Hokage sat next to her and chuckled. "It's been that way for ages..."Minato grinned from the other side of the Third, the Leaf village's kage line going out of order. "I'm glad to see that you've finally found what your brother's value is."A frowned. "It took a Double Lariat to the neck during a hell of a time on the battlefield to learn that, Yellow Flash. Kind of annoying hearing your voice in my head then, and I could just picture you smirk."Minato laughed. "I'm glad you learned it though."

"So what are we going to do in the meantime?"The Tsuchikage asked. "I guess we need to take this next while to book all of the dead and take record of their abilities.."Shikaku said. "Well I don't care what you do, as long as you get this dreadful war over with."The Land of Fire's feudal lord chimed. "Don't worry, we'll win this."Shikaku reassured. "Don't be making promises you can't keep."The Land of Lightning's feudal lord said. "Remember," The feudal lord from the Land of Earth began, "we have a deal. You protect us and we fund you. You work for our citizens and retain peace and we'll reward you." "We know."The Fourth Kazekage replied to a 'state the obvious' question and using an 'I'm bored' sort of tone.

"So, does that technically mean we kages sort of get a break?"The Mizukage asked, surprised and delighted. "Yes...I think it sort of does..."The Raikage realized."YES!"Tsunade exclaimed, standing up and throwing her arms up in the air as a signal to freedom and victory. "Um...Lady Tsunade..."Shizune nervously began, "you sort of already have...well...you sort of already act.." "Shizune! Make reservations for us at a hot spring! One that's near a casino/bar!"Tsunade ordered, interrupting Shizune's point. "Um...yes...right away Lady Tsunade.."Shizune nervously and shyly replied, fearing their outing and realizing she was being ignored. "Alright, I think this meeting is dismissed now!"The Raikage announced, standing up and slamming his hands on the table.

"Gaara, do you want to do anything during your break?"Temari asked her redheaded little brother as the siblings departed the meeting room. "And DON'T say paperwork."Kankuro added. Gaara remained silent for a bit as the three walked back down the path they had taken when hurrying to the meeting. Once they reached the outside cobblestone path, the teen responded. "I guess I'll just relax then.."He said, seeming a little hesitant at the idea. "That's good."Temari said. "Tem, should we find Granny Chiyo? She's alive and all, I saw her during the first part of war.."Kankuro said. "Hm, I don't know...Gaara? She is the reason you're alive right now.."Temari said to her little brother. "I'm sure she'll show up."Gaara said. "Whether we like it or not."Kankuro said hushed under his breath. "I know Sasori-nii rested and all, but he's alive again...I want to visit him."The puppeteer announced. "That's right, they re-summoned some people..."Gaara silently murmured mostly to himself.

"You have fun with that. I think you two were adopted by the Fourth and your biological father is Sasori."Gaara and Kankuro stopped immediately as the words nonchalantly left their older sister's mouth. "What?"Gaara asked, not hiding his shock and being sprung by something he had unforeseen. "Temari...he's like...35!" "So?"The blond sister said, stopping once she had realized her little brothers froze. "And I'm 18!" "And I'm 19 and Gaara's 16. I'm glad you can count your age Kankuro."Temari replied. "He would have been 17!" "Your point?" "That's too young."Gaara said. "Stuff happens nowadays."Temari nonchalantly waved off. "By saying he's our dad you're saying that you're Gaara's and my half sister! You're saying he slept with our mother!"

"That..."Gaara's face was priceless as he stopped with one word. His eyes were bugged out, purely startled and shocked. "That would be an affair."Gaara announced, regaining his composure. "Besides, Sasori left before we were even born."He continued. "You all in all said that our mother while married and RIGHT AFTER HAVING YOU began an affair with a SEVENTEEN year old MISSING NIN and became pregnant and gave birth to me. Then for TWO YEARS she either stopped the affair or continued having it, became pregnant with Gaara and all while the FOURTH KAZEKAGE HER HUSBAND had to know about it! Do you seriously think that man would accept that?"

Gaara lost his composure again, his eyes once again bugging out, frozen. Temari continued to stand nonchalantly listening to her little brother's rant. She sighed. "Kankuro, you never let me have any fun. Can't you take a joke?" "Not when it's like that..."Gaara mumbled, catching Temari's attention but not any attacks. "Especially when it's random ass as hell like that one..."Kankuro said under his breath as well, earning Temari's attention too, but like Gaara no attacks. She sighed again. "You two..."Temari began to continue down the cobblestone path, her heels clicking on the stones as she journeyed to the house the three siblings were inhabiting during their stay there. Gaara shook his head. "I'd prefer to think that he was our brother."He said to Kankuro. The puppeteer nodded. "Tell me about it..."

The two continued to walk slowly down the path when Gaara said something. "You know, she said that our mother could have had an affair with Sasori, because you like puppets and I have red hair." "Yeah..."Kankuro agreed, wondering where his little brother was headed with that statement. "But the same can be said about her...Our mother could have had an affair with Konoha's Yellow Flash, the Fourth Hokage..."Kankuro stopped. "Maybe we should stop before we drag Mother Karura's name through the mud anymore...She's beginning to become way too much of a mistress..."Gaara nodded. "Just saying."The two continued walking when Kankuro spoke up. "You know, I heard the Flash's wife was a redhead..."

LOYAL READERS!HI! I was considering whether or not to make the 'Not only Luke gets it...'(aka Sasori is your father or 'promiscuous')yes, those were all possible 'if I make this into a chapter' names) part a chapter alone but I felt it would be boring if I left the story as is...or was...it just wouldn't have any 'shabang!' to it...hm...I still might separate it...I also might revise this...some of your are probably thinking 'doesn't she say that at the end of every chapter of every story she writes?'well...yeah...i just have to take that first step...haha..

!Next time, the Sand Siblings decide to chill out for the day, but with the arrival of some unexpected visitors and a certain angry blond female...things might just not happen out that way...heh heh heh...sorry boys!

Please review ^.^

***** updates on my other stories this summer! And you are extremely welcome to PM me to update them ANY TIME. Haven't read any of my stories? They're all sort of crack XD but they intrigue the depths of your mind...i guess... just click the blue link of my name-departedsoul13-at the top and if you want read em! Review if you want me to add more CRAZINESS!Which we all love...or just review to make a certain author feel good...that's always SUPER welcomed.3

~departedsoul13

~*Thanks for reading*~!Stay tuned!~3