BPOV

Laying in my bed, I begin to contemplate the many ways I want to have Tanya Denali's head on a stick! I've never a violent person, I just hate Tanya for taking away the only man I've truly loved. Look at me, 6 years later and still harboring hatred and the need for revenge. I thought I was better than that but I guess I wrong. Lately I just couldn't help myself not, since the day Alice told me Edward was coming back to Forks with his new wife. Just thinking about him in the arms of the vampire world's biggest tart was enough to make my blood boil. A part of me has been able to move on but there's also another part of me that can never let go of Edward's memory. I truly loved him and my heart couldn't just throw him away like he never meant anything to me. He did, the day I looked into his eyes was the day he became my world, my heart, and my soul. And now that some other girl was making him happy… It's like someone just killed me and I've been plunged into a never ending nightmare. I still remember the day he left me like it was yesterday and the call I got from Alice who told me everything.

*flashback*

"Come, take a walk with me" Edward says quietly, as I got out of my car. He averts his eyes, turning his head and body in motion towards the woods standing densely before us. Confused I followed his pace, meeting up with him in a small patch surrounded by trees, and stopping in the middle. I look up at him as he turns towards me. Leaning to the side he looks too tall before me. But stood there like he had no life in him what so ever.

"I'm leaving Forks" Edward breaths quietly, aiming his eyes down to look at me. He looks agonized, like he regretted what he just said.

"Ok, ummm I'll start packing" I answer still confused by Edward's sudden change in behavior.

"No Bella, I don't want you to come." He says plainly, no emotion in his voice.

"W-why not," I stutter, pain lacing my voice.

"You're not good for me Bella"

"I'm not good enough for you" at this point there were tears forming in my eyes. "You don't love me" I whisper

"No" He replied bluntly, but his expression told me that he was hurt.

"I'm leaving, I won't come back to be yours again. You can go on with your life, without me in it. You can be happy, you deserve to be Bella. It will be as if I never existed, like you never knew me. You can just forget me" Edward breathes in almost a husky whisper.

He kisses my head one last time and the tears pour down my face. My heart was ripped in two knowing the love of my life didn't love me back.

"Don't forget were you belong" I whisper, my voice pained.

I give him one last look with tears burned eyes and arms are crossed. I was whimpering, trying to comprehend what he just said. With one last puppy eyed agonized look, I watch as he flashes away. Realization of what just happened finally hits me, Edward just dumped me. Suddenly my legs are weak, I stumble, struggling to regain balance as I make my way home. It felt so surreal walking in alone, I would always come home to Edward here or he would be by my side. But not this time.

I hear my phone ring and get the call the officially rips the rest of my heart out. I thank Alice for getting it to me and she apologizes to no avail. She knew I was hurt even though I told her it was fine and wasn't her fault, but that was only partly true. She offers to come over for comfort, but I told her she didn't need to. She even offered to go get Edward for me, and as nice as it sounded it was obvious he didn't want me, so I declined. Unable to do more for me Alice says her goodbyes and hangs up as did I. Trudging up the stairs and falling in my bed I crying endlessly.

The love of my life, loved someone else and it felt like it had just been ripped in half. But even that couldn't even describe one tenth of what I felt. The anger, sadness and hurt. It was like an anvil was sitting on my chest and I was gasping for air with no relief. Caged with no freedom. I cried until sleep consumed me. I needed to escape the nightmare that had just invaded my once perfect world.

*end flash back*

Since that day life as I know it has ended. Some days I can put on a smile and pretend I'm ok, other days I can't get out of bed. The depression is like a lingering dark cloud and I'm just a slave to my own emotions. No matter how hard I tried there was no relief, no escape from it! I felt trapped in my own world, so much I couldn't breathe, like I had become a slave to my own existence. With each day that passed it got harder and harder. Since then my birthday meant nothing to me. Without Edward my world was just crushed.

And it's even worse now because he is coming back with his wife, Tanya, and I'm being forced to help the Cullens cater a 'welcome home party'.' Some party that will leave me in tears before the night was over. But at the same time I wanted to go to see how 'pretty' this wife of his was. I've heard a lot about Tanya from my friend Irina these past few years, who's back up in Denali. She's been telling me all kinds of stories about Tanya and how she is a slut. She tried to tell Edward but he was not having it, when confronted about it Tanya denied it and went on about how much she loved Edward. Listening to that made me sick. I know Irina isn't one to just make things up and knowing that made me feel better. The evil side of me didn't want Edward to get hurt like I did but at the same time I wanted him to know my pain. Maybe it would serve him right and he would realize what he had. Before he threw me away like the trash he obviously thought I was.

'Ugh' I disgusted myself with the new hobby in life I found, which was just slumping in my bed not caring to even try to help myself. God I was pathetic! It wasn't long before sleep consumed me. I found myself dreaming of the day he was mine and I was his. It was perfect. Hope for a day for us to belong to one another again crept its way in my dreams. I longed for a day when we'd be together again, even if it was never meant to be.

_

A/N: favorite and review! Let me know what you think and what do you expect to happen at the party next chapter?