A/N: I wrote this back in 2004 and I decided hey why not post it... themes were a what if Sam had not come back from a mission during the time Pete was on the seen and Jack was not able to express his emotions to her... Sam/ Jack... One chapter.

Content Warning: Main character demise

No Rest…

Jack sits alone with his memories a beer bottle untouched on the table… he had been so sure, why had it gone so wrong, so very wrong?

What cruel hand had he been dealt? How could he cope knowing that he had never told her the truth?

Re-running the scenes over and over again in his mind…

She had seemed so happy, hurrying into the briefing room, a smile on her face and a spring in her step.

'Morning Carter.'

'Morning sir, Daniel, Teal'c… I have great news to tell you!'

'Well?'

'Don't you think we should get the briefing over?'

'Nah it can wait, it's routine anyway…So?'

'Well… I'm getting married!' She had beamed so brightly; I had felt my face falling.

'Congratulations Sam!' I heard Daniel chirp brightly.

'Indeed Samantha, I too am pleased for you.'

'Sir?'

'It's great Carter, now how about we get on with the briefing?' I manage to choke out before resigning to a state of disbelief.

'…Yes sir.' She hesitated with her response and began the briefing.

Later that day she left Earth on a routine mission to an already explored planet. As I watched them disappear through the gate returning her usual salute I had no idea it would be the last time I ever saw all of them alive.

You see I had sent three of the best and only two returned, the third was gone and only their; empty shell remained.

I remember Daniel's words.

"She, had to go, there was nothing we could do she just… there was a Super-Soldier…a ship and we… and Teal'c tried so hard to stop them, but they shot her and she was gone in an instant… I'm so sorry."

I hadn't believed his words, but before me had been proof of them… her still form laid gently at my feet. The pallor of her skin so obvious, her hair drenched with blood, her face barely distinguishable beneath the severe wounds that adorned the once so attractive façade.

On her left hand was the dreaded object, a diamond engagement ring.

I feel the tears begin to trickle down my face, I lost her, but I had lost her before she had died… He had won her love, seen her heart and her soul. Touched her with love, something that I never could have done while we worked for the air force…

I couldn't find the words when I spoke at the memorial and again at the funeral. She had been so young, I am so old, she should have lived forever, she had finally been happy, and it had been taken from her. Time had been stolen from her and Pete and I would never have the chance to tell her the truth. So many chances had escaped me now I had lost all hope of telling her face to face. I know that she knew, but I had wanted to tell her myself… Just, how much I love…loved her… that I loved everything about her…

What does become of the broken hearted? Can one man suffer so much loss and come out of it intact or will Jack be destroyed by thoughts of her?

What should have been… would have been… could have been…

The last words of a fool…?

The End