Chapter 1: Why?

As I lie motionless on the cold ground, I can only wonder what I did to deserve this. Times like these really make you think. They make you reflect and question yourself. For instance, what if I hadn't left? What if I hadn't abandoned all I'd ever known? What if I had believed him? Times like these I say to myself, "Seraphina Celosia, why couldn't you have just left it alone?"

I am Seraphina Celosia. I bet you thought I was gone, right? Well, I'm here. What happened that night was misinterpreted and left people with a lot of unanswered questions. All people, including me. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll start from the beginning. But before I get into how all of this came about, I want to give you a final word about what I think is very important in understanding this story and me:

"All you ever hear is people wondering and wishing for things to happen, well, at this point, I am wishing that something didn't. I always question and second guess what I know is true and change them for people just to please them. Acceptance is my greatest fear and one of the only things I have yet to master."

(FLASHBACK)

It was a brisk autumnal night. It seemed like the entire Adena Nation was asleep. All, of course, accept me. It was another sleepless night full of me tossing, turning, and thinking about the days to come. Thoughts entering and leaving my brain only leave me with more unanswered questions. (That's one of my most hated things.) I don't know why I'm so scared of the unknown, but I guess that everyone is at one time or another. Not knowing what's going to happen next is so vexing yet to thrilling at the same time. Over thinking and questioning everything is just my way. It's a quality that I haven't decided is good or bad yet. Sometimes I think that I'll never figure it out . . . and surprisingly, I'm alright with that.

The most prominent thing on my mind has always been my home. Being born into the Adena Nation was always a burden to me. Sure I may have fit the description perfectly, but it never excused the fact that I disagreed with almost everything my people stood for. I had always longed to be born into another nation. I mean, I liked fire bending, but not at the cost it came with. I had wanted to be able to go out into the world and not be scrutinized for what my ancestors did, taught, and believed. I wanted the world to take me in with open arms and hear what I had to say. I wanted people to believe me and most importantly, to accept me for me. But that's never going to happen.

I gazed all around my small, one person tent and began to think of all that had just presented itself. As these thoughts circled my head, Demetrius appeared at my bedside. It was no shock to see him because he popped in to check on me all the time. Demetrius was born into the world an Earth bender. He too fit the description of his culture perfectly, and he too disagreed with it. (One of the many reasons we connect so well.) My people had always longed to take down the Dagan Nation. The Dagan Nation was the biggest of all four nations, but the Adena Nation was the most powerful. Both places had their strengths and weaknesses, and both places never backed down. But, Demetrius and I were different. We didn't want to be a part of taking down each other's home, even though they didn't feel like real homes to us. (We're different from the rest of those in our world and we still to this day haven't figured out why we are the way we are.) When reality had set back in, I spoke.

"Demetrius, why do you risk your life to come visit me?" I had always asked him the same question and he'd always answer the same way.

"In life you have choices. With choices come sacrifices. You are my choice and everything else is my sacrifice."

I had always loved when he'd say that. It gave me a sense of pride in the fact that I had someone who truly cared for me. I didn't have anyone like Demetrius in the nation. In fact, I didn't have anyone in the Adena Nation that would even come close to making me feel as special as Demetrius. The way he presented himself and the way he always engaged me in every topic he spoke of, made me realize how lucky I am to have someone like him. Someone who looked out for me, had my best interest at heart, would do anything to make sure I had a smile on my face . . . and someone who liked me for me.

After I had gathered my thoughts, I began to speak.

"Demetrius, it's not safe for you to be here tonight. We embark on our journey to the Glyndwr Nation tomorrow and the guards will be out earlier than usual to watch the border lines of Adena and Dagan. You shouldn't being taking risks like this. Not here, not tonight."

He answered, "Seraphina you know as well as I do that I have more skills under my belt to take down half your nation than your whole nation has to take me down."

I whispered "And you know as well as I do that that's bull."

"Yeah but a guy can dream can't he?"

Even though he didn't realize it, he had just given me something new to think about. Sure what he had said was cheesy and generic, but for some reason, it made me think. He could always dream. Dreaming of a different tomorrow was my only get away from this place. And I couldn't help but think if it was ok to feel that way. It's not that I hated being a fire bender and it's not that I hated my 'home' either. I just wished that my nation wasn't the way it was.

I dozed off for what seemed like minutes only to awake to an empty tent. Demetrius, as he had always done, had snuck back to Dagan after I had fallen asleep. Even though I always knew he would go, I always had hoped that one night he would stay. And not because he felt he had to, but because he wanted to.

I got up and gathered my thoughts, again. (I have to do that a lot.) After I had wiped the dust from my feet and slipped on my sandals, I prepared for the journey. We'd be traveling through all the islands of the Adena Nation to get rid of any strangers in our territory. Then we'd go into the Southern Glyndwr Tribe. They weren't very big, in fact they were puny and didn't have that much power, but I thought their bending skills were very intriguing.

As I packed for the days ahead, I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a typical fire bender. The girl in the reflection had long, dark brown hair, gray eyes, and pale skin. As if that didn't give me away enough, my name is just the cherry on top of the fire bender sundae that is me. 'Seraphina Celosia', a total Adena Nation name. Seraphina means fire and Celosia means aflame. I was a walking, talking billboard for fire benders. But because this is the part that everyone questions and becomes concerned with, I wanna be perfectly clear:

"I don't hate being a fire bender . . . I hate what it means to other people. When people see me, they see an irate, rage filled girl who stands for violence and never backing down on defeating the rest of the Avatar World. They don't see me, they see an image put into their heads by their ancestors and all of the other people trying to take us down. I think I care more about people accepting me than me accepting myself."

"Acceptance is my greatest fear. . ."