Chapter 1
Battle is easier if you have all your friends with you. Well, lets say that it was easy until I was assigned as a medic in another group. It is so quiet and awkward here. No one knows eachother here, no one associates with one another. Talking here would seem to feel as though it was illegal. They haven't been in a battle since I got there, but that will change soon. An enemy fleet is not to far away now, and steadily approaching. A plan Tsunada gave us, tells us to attack as soon as we see them.
I think I'm slowly loosing it. It feels like I haven't seen life in years when it has only been two months. I feel the need to run out of here to hear someone talk to me, ask me needed questions.
It was only the next day when the fighting began. Death could be found everywhere here. I crave for a breath of life, to show me that I'm still sane. Which it feels like I'm not. My comrades fall one by one. If this keeps up there will be no one left but me. I'm doing my best, throwing the healed back out there to fight. Only to have two more of them come right back into the tent. I can only heal so many people at a time, especially since none of them are telling me what is wrong. It is almost as though they are just giving up. I have sent letters to Shizune saying that more medics would be needed here but the letter was intercepted, countless times. My comrades here are amateurs. Not as talented as Naruto, Kiba, Neji or any of my friends. It feels like someone just picked them up and through them into this hell. They are scared, I can see that, but no one talks about it. I knew what it felt like to be scared. Now, I feel alone, as though there is no one around me but dead bodies for miles on. Like I said before, I need something to make me feel sane. Once an enemy fighter stepped into my medic tent, I blew it. I busted out and began fighting myself. The only way I could save my comrades now was if I fight and take some of the load myself. I already got half down when my last comrade fell. I was alone, but I kept fighting. All I have been for days now were lifeless people, even the alive ones were lifeless. No joy, or happiness.
The fight was over with only me left standing. My hair was stained red from the blood that seemed to have flooded the land. No longer it's original color, along with no shine in my eyes. I sat myself down, leaning my back against a nearby tree. I was tired, of everything. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I felt the chakra of our reinforcements and closed them again.
My friends seemed to be in the two reinforcement groups. One approached from the north and another from the west. They seemed shocked to find no one fighting now.
"Check the medic tent." Kakashi ordered as leader of the group from the North.
"We should start looked for survivors." Neji enforced, leader of the group from the west.
"No survivors in the medic tent." Hinata and Tenten reported.
"No survivors over here." Choji reported from the southern region with Ino and Shino beside him.
"How troublesome." Shikamaru complained.
"Kiba, you and Akamaru start sniffing around." Kakashi ordered.
"On it." "Woof."
"I don't see any survivors here." Lee reported from the west. "I don't think there are any survivors at all."
"We still have to check Lee." Neji told him. Lee nodding as a reply, showing that he understood.
"Woof!" Akamaru barked.
"You got something boy?" Kiba asked, getting another woof from Akamaru.
The dog approached me then and started licking my blood splattered face. I tried pushing the dog away from my face. "Stop Akamaru." I told the dog. He didn't stop and started to tickle my face. "Akamaru. Akamaru, that tickles." I began to smile as Kiba began to apporuch us. I haven't smiled since before my assigned position here.
Akamaru moved away from me to go back to Kiba, making my smile drop back into a frown full of pain and solitude.
Kiba starred at me for awhile, checking me over for any injuries or a sign of breathing. Realizing this without opening my eyes, I gave out of deep breath.
"Akamaru found a survivor." Kiba shouted, Hinata and Tenten then immediately approuched me.
"She doesn't look badly injured." Tenten informed everyone surrounding me.
"Only one survivor?" Neji asked, everyone nodded.
"Check her tag. What is her name?" Kakashi asked.
Hinata looked up at everyone. "It's Sakura."
"Sakura?" Lee asked, Hinata nodded in return.
Kakashi approached me and grasped my arms. "Sakura? Are you alright?"
I coughed, preparing myself to speak. "Yeah, I'm good." I said opening my eyes to him kneeling right in front of me.
He smiled in return and lifted me to my feet. "That's my girl." He said proudly.
I licked my lips as Tenten began to quickly look over me again for any injuries she may have missed.
"Look at your hair!" Ino said. I rolled my eyes. "It isn't even pink anymore! It looks like you have been swimming in red dye."
Exhaustion was approaching me, all I have done for the past few weeks was heal and fight. I leaned against Kakashi who still had his hold on me expecting this.
"It's alright." Kakashi whispered to me. My eyes lids started feeling heavy. "Go to sleep now." My breathing began to steadily slow down. "We are going home." And I fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter 2
When I woke up it was to yelling outside of the tent, slowly approaching. I was in yet another medic tent, I would know counting how long it took me to finally get out of one. The only difference was that there were no painfully dying people around me. My head started to get a stinging feeling as I rose to the sitting position. Looking at my wounds with my own eyes I would say I barely got out of the battle with barely a scratch, lucky me, but not lucky for all of my comrades who didn't.
No other survivors. I kept repeating those words in my head. I should have just stormed out of that tent sooner, and then maybe some would have survived.
Once the stinging subsided, I shook the feeling of guilt out of my system. It doesn't matter. I told myself. What's done is done. Nothing will change that.
Just then Naruto came storming in. Without noticing my wakening he turned to face Kakashi who stormed in after him.
"I will do whatever I want. Tsunada isn't going to keep me cooped up. If she wants me back at headquarters, then she will have to come down here herself and beat me to a pulp."
"Naruto, be a little reasonable. The kages agreed that it would be best for you to not be in the field, or anywhere near it for that matter. You aren't supposed to be here."
"This is war! I should be apart of the fighting!"
I lay back down; this was going to last for awhile.
"And if you just so happen to lose one of lose fights?" Neji stated walking into both the tent and the conversation.
"But I won't."
"Guys, you shouldn't be arguing in here." Tenten stated.
"I won't lose any battle. Believe it!"
"You're too loud! You will wake-"
"They don't want to take the risk, Naruto." I stated bluntly. Everyone turned to face me, but I didn't look at them, just at the ceiling. "They are looking at both sakes, you and the ones around you."
I may have not been looking at Naruto but I could tell he was frowning. "They should look at my strength while they are at it."
"Strength has no say in it."
"But Sakura-"
"It is just a precaution, Naruto." I was looking at him straight in the eyes now, sitting up. "Whether you like it or not this is war. They need to find ways for things to be easier on everyone else. If they were to put you in," I paused reading the expression on his face. He was sad. He knew my words rang true. "Just imagine how many lives would be put at risk." He tried to say something but I cut him off. "It is best to simply not put you in at all."
Silence rung. My head started getting light, a consequence from my long dialogue. I figured if he couldn't, wouldn't, accept it from others then it would be tougher to coming from one of his more personal friends. I was preparing myself for this.
Through the dizziness that soon came to accompany the lightheadedness I kept my eyes on him, reading his expression. I was waiting for a sign that he heard me. It took about a minute or two of silence, for him to give me that sign. He simply nodded, with a frown still apparent on his features. He nodded and walked out. He probably thought my sternness came because he had woken me. Everyone's eyes including my own fallowed him out.
I honestly wasn't trying to hurt his feelings. He simply needed to accept what was going on. Tsunada had already explained this decision to me before hand. I knew that it would be the best way. She is my sensei; we connect and agree with each other often. We think alike, so I knew how she was thinking when she came up with this plan. Naruto needed to see it the way me and Tsunada have been. Now he has. His feelings may have been hurt in the process, but for the sake of everyone we both love and care for; he should understand that it wasn't intentional. It just happened.
I soon as I knew he was gone I collapsed down back onto the bed. I was so exhausted.
Everyone's eyes darted at me. I couldn't tell if they were looking at me because I hurt Naruto's feelings or because I collapsed. Maybe both, but I didn't stick around to find out. I was fast asleep by the time Kakashi was at my side.
*Naruto's point of view*
Kakashi was pushing my buttons. All he kept saying was that it was the kages' choice, and that we should respect that. It didn't seem fair. I kept thinking that. Any other way looked stupid. I started to half listen to his words.
I want to fight in this war. Why couldn't I? Were the kages calling me weak?
I started listening again when we entered the tent. I wasn't paying attention as to who was inside the tent or any such information.
It took me three days to get from the headquarters here. When I heard that Sakura was caught in a battle which ended up being a tie and that pretty much no one survived except for her, I got worried. I started to insist that I should fight, fight along side her as well as protect her.
I didn't know I walked into her tent, the tent she was healing, sleeping in. So I surprised when she spoke. I have wakened her. Tenten was trying to warn me but the damage was done.
I couldn't tell if Sakura was mad at me for wakening her or for being so stupid as to not thinking straight about the whole not-fighting thing. As far as I know it could have been just the fact of her injuries hurting or something. I started believed it was all three, it only made sense, when she looked at me straight in the eyes.
I was most certainly was listening to her. I could hear the pain in her voice when she mentioned about this being a war. She was definitely hurt more mentally at the battle than physically.
Once she was done I felt horrible. It wasn't because of her slightly harsh words but from her. She talking about others, not herself. There she was sitting on a bed obviously in some sort of pain and she wasn't thinking about herself but others. And there was me. I was being a selfish loser, thinking about myself. I thought about it more closely, realizing that yes, it seemed to make more sense. I gave a nod, showing that I understood and walked out. Why was I being so selfish?
A few minutes later Kakashi came out.
"You alright?" He asked me.
"Yeah."
"She seemed to be a little harsh back there."
"She wasn't. From her," I paused, feeling the guilt. "I realized how selfish I was being."
"How so?"
"She was obviously in pain. I could hear it in her voice. She didn't even mention herself, she only talked about others. And I was selfish, wanting to fight. I wasn't thinking things through. She was."
"She was pushing herself."
"Well, she was supposed to be sleeping if wasn't for me."
"She wasn't trying to hurt you."
"No, but I ended up hurting her. She is probably going to feel bad later."
"If that does happen be sure to apologize to her too."
"I just want to fight so I can protect others, I wasn't thinking that by fighting I would be putting even more people at risk."
"It's alright Naruto. Everyone would feel that way if they were in your position. As long as you know better now."
"I do."
"Good. Sakura exhausted herself out, so let her rest for awhile."
"Sure."
Chapter 3
I woke to Naruto and Kakashi sleeping on two mats laid out on the floor. Still in a tent, I starred at their sleeping forms. How long has it been since all three of us were together peacefully? Too long that's for sure.
Kakashi got up, a while later. I closed my eyes. I don't want him to ask a million questions. I felt him look at me.
"Still asleep, huh?" He asked, obviously expecting no reply. My breathing was so steady that he thought I was asleep.
He walked out and I opened my eyes again. Naruto was still lying there deep in sleep. I ended dozing back to sleep myself.
When I woke Naruto was getting up. I made a noise as a sign. He looked toward me as I slowly opened my eyes to him. Light was shining through the tent, down onto me and Naruto.
"You feeling alright?" He asked, concern in his eyes.
"Yeah," I said rising into the sitting position. He slowly made his way over to me.
A bit of dizziness came over me, Naruto held me steady.
"You sure?" he asked with a smile.
"Positive."
He chuckled releasing me, but a while afterwards his smile dropped into a frown. "I'm sorry about the other day."
"Nothing to apologize for." I said turning my face away from him.
"No, I woke you up when it was obvious you weren't suppose to." He said while shaking his head.
"It's alright Naruto."
"But it isn't Sakura." He protested, he sometimes was so stubborn. "I was being selfish. I should have thought about others, instead of myself."
I looked at him, and saw sympathy. He was probably feeling horrible about himself. "I still don't accept your apology."
"Why?" He asked curiously.
"Because you were just being you."
"Am I suppose to take that as a compliment or an insult?"
"Good question. As long as you know that sometimes it isn't alright to be selfish."
"Yeah, I got that."
"Good… And I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I was being a little-"
"Nope."
"What do you mean by nope?"
"You were telling me exactly what I needed to hear. It was neither harsh nor soft. There is nothing to apologize for." He mimicked me. I smiled. "Now go back to sleep. You need your rest, you've had it rough for a while now."
"Mm." I agreed and laid back down. I watched his figure leave the tent.
Chapter 4
I'm back home now, lying in bed, alone. I don't know why but being alone is starting to feel sort of nice, almost normal. It is almost as though this is how I spend everyday.
I'm staring at my ceiling and wondering if Sasuke ever felt like this. Maybe he just wanted to be alone like this. I was so annoying to him, I should have just let him be. I've realized this countless times but now it seems different. Now I feel like I can understand it now, being alone.
I stay like this for a good few hours according to my clock on my night stand, even though it feels like it was only for a few minutes.
Naruto comes barging into my room, to find me like that. "Sakura-" He stops and just looks at me from the doorway. If I could read his mind I would think that he was thinking about that maybe the battle has done something to me. Now that I think about it, maybe it has. Maybe now I'm just a huge downer cause that is the only thing I've seen for a while now.
"Do you plan on staying in bed all day?" Naruto asked.
"Maybe." I replied not looking at him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked now beside me.
"What makes you say that I'm thinking about something?"
"Your Sakura. And who doesn't think? Everyone has to think."
"People who don't have brains."
"Zombies don't have brains."
"What an interesting fact." I said sarcastically.
"But they think about brains."
"They crave brains, they don't think about them."
"Well you have a brain, so you are obviously thinking about something."
"Nothing, I'm just staring at the ceiling."
"Something wrong?"
"Well there is that huge random dark spot right there." I pointed at it.
"That's not what I meant. What is wrong, Sakura?"
"Nothing."
"Then why are you in bed?"
"Because I feel lazy today." It sounded more like a question. I didn't know why I was doing this.
"Mind if I be lazy with you?" He said plopping down onto the bed next to me.
"I don't."
We just laid there, both staring at the ceiling.
"Yeah that dark spot sure is a problem." He said breaking the silence.
"Told you."
After a little more silence he looked at me. I sighed.
"It's going to be alright." He said getting up.
"What?" I didn't understand.
"It's going to be alright." And he walked out.
*Naruto*
After I left Sakura's I went straight to Tsunada.
"I don't want to hear anything but a yes coming from you." I stated clearly to her.
"Depends on the proposition." She replied curious about what she was about to hear.
"I don't care if you do or don't have me go fight in the war." She was surprised, I saw it in her eyes. "I just want you to promise me that I get to fight Sasuke." She sighed. I would guess that she was expecting this. She brought her hand to her forehead, thinking about it for a while.
"Fine." She concluded. "You will get to fight Sasuke."
I smiled. "As soon as possible would be nice."
"Of course."
"And I have one question."
"What is it?" She again sounded surprised.
"Do you plan on putting Sakura back in?"
It took longer this time. "I'm not sure if I will or not."
"Well, if you do come to a decision can you please let me know just what it is?"
"Sure Naruto."
"Thank you." I bowed and left.
*Tsunada*
"You tell me Shikaku. Should I let Sakura back into the war?" Tsunada asked as soon as Naruto was gone. She was watching him enter the streets of the village through her windows.
"I would say that it depends."
"What do you mean?" He captured her attention.
"Well battles like that can scare a person."
She looked at Sakura's house. Would Sakura be scarred? Everyone would get scarred from those kinds of experiences. The depth of the scar depends on the person though.
"Send someone to tell Sakura to see me in three days."
"Three days?"
"Yes, time to recuperate."
"Yes ma'am."
Chapter 5
The next day I got up and did my usual routine. I thought that maybe if I started my usual routine then maybe things could feel a little normal. After Naruto told me yesterday that Tsunada maybe putting me back into war, maybe I would need this normal feeling.
I was just getting out of the shower when Ino barged into my home.
"Sakura? You home?" She yelled from the hallway, door wide open.
"In the bathroom." I yelled back.
"What are you doing in there?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, today is Thursday. You do remember that we always hang out together on Thursdays, right?"
I smiled at the thought and opened the door. "Yeah I'm just running a little slow today."
"Alright, you have ten minutes."
"Why so specific?" I asked entering my bedroom to change.
"We are going over to Hinata's today, to hang out with her, Tenten too."
"Okay."
"Temari said she might join us later on. If she can't then she is probably doing something war related."
"Ino?"
"What is it big forehead?"
I rolled my eyes at the nickname. "Why aren't you, Hinata and everyone else not fighting in the war?" I hesitated a little bit but I was wondering this. If Temari is working why aren't they?
"Because our duty, right now, is to help you get back to normal. And if we aren't here to help make things normal, how will things get back to normal?"
"Good point." I smiled, they were trying too.
A few minutes later, I finished and ended up finding Ino with half of her body in the fridge.
"Pig." I called her.
"You were taking too long."
"You gave me ten minutes."
"And ten minutes it has been. Now let's go!" She pulled me out of my apartment and we went on our way.
*Naruto*
Tsunada told me to visit her today through bird, meaning she is busy and this would be quick.
"You called?"
"Yes, I have made my decision."
"Already?"
"Yes."
"And it is?" I was dying to hear this.
"If Sakura is back to her usual self in the next two days then I will allow her to go back into the war."
"If?"
"Usually, events like that would cause a sort of stress. I want to be sure that she would be capable of going back into war, without having me worry."
"So you want her to do what?"
"I have already told everyone that the mission here is to create a normal environment for her. That is your mission as well."
"I don't think I follow."
"You will help her get back to normal."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"Alright."
"You have until Sunday morning."
"Challenge accepted."
"You are dismissed."
When I was out of the room I did a little dance. I knew that it would annoy Sakura more than me if she wasn't going to be going back to fight. This had to be one of the easiest missions ever. I knew this was going to work out well. Question was, "How can I help?"
Chapter 6
I went home yesterday with a major headache, which was usual on Thursdays. Now it was Friday. Fridays I normally hang out with Naruto if he isn't doing anything. We would go out for some ramen and you know, talk. I didn't see him yesterday so I'm not sure if he remembers our usual plans. How could he, it has been a long time? I'll have to search him down.
After I, again, did my usual routines, I choose it to be smart and wandered the streets. It was nice to see faces that weren't in pain. People approached me, asked me for advice on how to treat a relative with a cold. I enjoyed the conversation. I needed that back at the battle. Things probably could have gone a lot better if there was even a hint of communication. But there wasn't. I thought to myself. It is in the past let it go. I wanted to let it go and I did, but it just wouldn't shake off. My friends were helping me but it was still there.
An old lady approached me then. "Hello there, young lady."
"Hello, how are you today, miss?"
"I am doing well. How about yourself?"
"I'm doing fine." It wasn't convincing.
"What seems to be the matter?"
"Just some complications."
"Care to tell an old geezer such as myself?"
"No I wouldn't want to waste your time."
"No time would be wasted. Sit down child." I obeyed.
"People seem to be worrying about me, and I don't really know how I am suppose to feel about it."
"Why are they worrying?"
"Well, I've been in a very bad battle and I believe that they feel that something maybe wrong with me."
"Mentally or physically?"
"Mentally."
"Trust me when I say being a little crazy isn't a problem." I laughed.
"No, I mean like I may or may not be able to handle those kinds of situations again."
"Did you handle them before?"
"This was my first, and I don't feel I did very well."
"What did you do wrong?"
"I didn't step out in time, if I did sooner then I could have saved to many people."
"It isn't healthy to dweal in the past darling."
"I know, but I just can't seem to shake it off."
"Well, then you absord it."
"Huh?"
"You take it in, store it, then use it. Let me tell you my story."
"Um, alright."
"My husband died a few months after our first kid was born and I was pregnant again." She had my full attention. "I didn't know how I was going to handle things now. I was a widow, with a second child on the way, no help from relatives available, things were obviously going to go south. I'm sure that is how you are feeling about going back into battle right?"
"Yes."
"After my second was born, a man entered my life. My baby boy was the spitting image of his father, and to this day I call him by that name. I told him of all his father's stories, adventures. No matter how sad it made me. I took in that thing that caused the most trouble in my life, absorbed it in, and used that to make something. I made an nice boy, who is going on his own adventures, following his dad's footsteps as a son would do." I nodded and smiled at her. "Just use that you make something better, darling. You go back into that war we are in. If you enter that kind of situation again, you will know how to make it come out in the best way possible."
"Thank you."
"Now if you don't mind, my son and daughter are here."
"Of course," I got up with her. "Have a wonderful day."
"You too dear."
Naruto ended up sneaking behind me right after.
"Boo!"
"Naruto!"
"What are you doing talking to the elderly?"
"I can talk to whom ever I please."
Naruto laughed. "Someone is feeling better."
I smiled. "I am."
"I can tell, now how about that ramen?"
"Lead the way." He did so. I rolled my eyes at the action, caught up with him and we went on our way.
"Mom what were you talking to that girl about?" The brunette asked her mother.
"Nothing important honey. She was just low on self confidence is all." The women nodded toward the pinkhead in front of her. "I believe things will get better for her now."
"You are always doing those sort of things." The brunette replied.
"Your father did too." She said, getting a smile out of both of them, and their eyes followed the pinkhead into the ramen shop.
Chapter 7 (sneak peek)
I spent my entire Saturday either by Tsunada's side, as I normally did, or at the hospital healing people. Of course this was my usual Saturday, so it was not an issue. Of course Tsunada probably wanted this as a way to keep an eye on me as well. I suppose it works out for everyone.
As a result, Tsunada cleared me on Sunday. I was then able to go back into the fighting field on Monday, but this time I was placed in a group that actually talked, and were filled with my friends. I definitely won't be having any problem with this. Kakashi was the leader of the group. So I had nothing really to worry about. If I did have a problem, he of all people would understand. It wasn't until the next Friday that a problem surfaced.
We were fighting the seven swordsman, when out of no where this guy shows up.
He immediately looks around, almost as if he smelt something gross. His eyes landed on me, and a smile grew on his features, a wicked smile. Next thing I know I'm being pressed up against a tree with his hand choking me.
"Sakura!" Lee called, giving Kakashi the message that I was in some sort of trouble.
"I thought I got rid of you." The man said. That's when I knew just who this guy was. "No matter I will just kill you now."